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Merc

“ T his is a very bad idea. I’m too heartbroken.” Roam was the most dramatic of anyone I had ever met. He was way too emo for his own good.

“Then you need to dance!” I grabbed him by the hands and swung him around in a quick circle before letting go. He stumbled backward a few steps and bumped into Abe, who caught him by the arms and kept him on his feet. “A party should be just the thing to get poor Roam out of his misery.”

Roam stayed planted, and his shoulders slumped. “You dance then. My feet are like lead. Besides, we’re walking into the camp of the enemy.”

“That heavy feeling is why you need to trip the light fantastic. Besides, you’re really starting to bring me fucking down, bro. You’re the object of lust of more people than you will ever know. Let their love for you help you get over Ross. I mean, dude, that was never going to work out, and you know it. That’s why you let yourself fall for him.”

“I am a total drama queen,” Roam chuckled sadly. “Even if it was less than a month, breakups are rough.”

“Love is rougher,” Ben cackled and ruffled his hair. Roam hated it when someone messed with his perfectly manicured hair.

“That’s right!” I was pulling out all the stops. I didn’t want to have to deal with mopey Roam all night long. This party was going to be rough enough without him making it worse. “Love is rough, so what is it that we do, boys? We get rough with love.”

Roam stopped and groaned. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Love lifts us up to crash us back down to the Earth with the force of a fucking bomb, Roam. We are who we are, and to ask more of love – which we are masters of – is fucking ridiculous.” I walked over and grabbed his crotch with my hand. “This is love, Roam.” I grasped his shaft through his very thin shorts and rubbed it gently. It quickly hardened in my grasp. “What you wanted with Ross was just a dream.”

“Are we not supposed to dream, Merc? That’s fucking sad not to want more than this, isn’t it?” He breathed heavily.

I let go of his crotch and took his face in my hands. “Ross lives the kind of life we can never have, Roam. We’re branded by who and what we are, and that’s the way it is unless you can find a way out.”

“I hoped Ross was my way out. I’m tired of being a body for someone to slide their hands over – the unnamed faces I stare at while they take what they want from me.” He let out a long sigh and reveled in his anguish. He was never happier than when he was miserable. “I knew it wouldn’t work out, but that didn’t mean I didn’t hope.”

“It’s ok to hope – but you can’t lose yourself in it, man.” Ben slapped him on the back.

“I still think this is a very shitty idea.” Yeah, Roam was definitely going to get on my fucking nerves tonight. I was gonna have to babysit him as he cried in the corner if we didn’t do something fast. “Cappie and his boys are not going to like the fact that we crashed their party.”

“The mayor’s decree will stop them from… Besides, this is a giant party, and we have costumes. Look at you in your white go-go shorts with the matching harness and mask. You look like an angel. What do we have to be scared of, man? Let’s have fun. You’re gonna have to knock people off your jock all night long. Everyone’s gonna want a piece of that.” I was trying way too hard, and it was getting old fast.

Roam crossed his arms and pouted. “Dude, that is the last thing I want right now. Just let me wallow in my shit. I’m down so bad I cried on the fucking treadmill at the gym. I was terrified that someone would take a picture.”

“God, you are just full of teenage petulance, aren’t you? I forget sometimes that you’re only nineteen.”

“It’s not like you're much older.” He whined.

“I’m twenty-two, and I’m very fucking wise.”

“You’re definitely a wise ass. Besides… I had a dream today that…” He turned around. “It’s silly.”

“Most dreams are. I had a dream today, too.”

He turned back to me. “What was yours about?”

“Dreamers often lie,” I said slowly and then burst out laughing.

“Very funny.”

“No, it’s true, Roam.”

“Well, it felt true,” he said so glumly that it almost broke my heart. He was in his feelings badly, and it would take a miracle to get him out of it. Tonight was going to be super annoying if he didn’t rebound quickly. Maybe this party was a bad idea?

“Dreams are not the future, Roam. They are just your fucking brain trying to deal with the emotions that you’re not capable of dealing with when you’re awake. They’re hopes and aspirations of nothing and everything all at once. Have you ever dreamed you could fly? Or dreamed that you were once a king of a faraway land and felt that this dream had to be a vision of the past? A life that you might have once lived? Trust me. You didn’t. This is the life we have, and only you have the power to change it. It is not a dream of love or money, nor is it what might have been if you had made different choices. The only dreams that matter to us are those that the dreamers dream about us. Their dreams line our pockets.”

“Or Monty’s!” Ben groaned loudly.

“All right. Enough, Merc. I get it. You want to cheer me up. You’re just rambling and talking of nothing!” Roam demanded. His biceps bulged as he pouted. He was probably worried about someone taking a photo. Roam always tried to look his hottest after winning his first Grabby.

“True. I’m talking of dreams that are truly nothing more than your stupid, idle brain misfiring into fantasy.” I took his handsome face in my hands and held him in place. “This is real, Roam. Tonight, all of us are going to go sleep with the enemy as we eat their food and drink their booze.”

“Maybe even fuck their men,” Abe cackled and whooped into the night so loud that someone shut their open window.

“Fine. I just feel that there’s… something hanging over me.”

“Let Ross go and embrace what the future might hold. You never know what or who you could meet there tonight. Maybe Ross was just a stepping stone to something better. A bump on the path to someone who won’t care what you are or who you were in your past.” I threw my arm around him And Ben and we took a step.

Roam sighed and then looked at me seriously. “I said fine. Let’s go get cray-cray.”

“Lusty gentleman, or should I say Monty’s whores. Let’s go fuck some shit up!”