Page 6 of Drawn to Love

The first thing Elizabeth did was to visit her aunt. Mrs. Gardiner was in bed, with a tray next to her, proving she had already eaten, and — surprisingly — a glass of port.

“You look lovely, Lizzy. Your uncle and Mr. Darcy are waiting for you in the dining room. I shall sleep now. I am quite tired, and I confess I have already drunk a glass of port — this will be my second one. It is delicious but quite strong.”

“Aunt!” Elizabeth laughed.

“No Aunt, Lizzy. Over the last ten years, I have occasionally indulged in a small glass of port to enable me to sleep. I shall take this opportunity. Enjoy your dinner, my dear. I shall see you again in the morning.”

Dismissed by her aunt, Elizabeth walked towards the dining room. She did not know where it was situated in that large house but hoped to find a servant to direct her.

As she walked down the hall, her attention was drawn towards the walls, furniture, and carpets. For a brief moment, it crossed her mind that of all this she could have been the mistress. Such a notion seemed extraordinary, and her imagination was not enough to consider the possibility.

The walls were filled with paintings, and she stopped in front of one, captivated. It was a large portrait of Mr. Darcy, wearing the same little smile which he had often directed at her.

“Miss Bennet?”

She startled, and her heart beat wildly when she saw the object of her musings waiting only a few steps away.

“I was hoping you would join us for dinner,” he said.

“Yes…thank you…” She did not know what else to say.

“Mr. Gardiner is in the library,” he continued. “Would you like to go there? Or to the dining room?”

“I…I would like to see the library,” she agreed. He seemed pleased with her answer and opened the door. She entered hesitantly and could not refrain from gasping.

The conversation at Netherfield about Mr. Darcy’s library being the work of many generations unfolded in front of her eyes, now given new meanings.

“This is beautiful…outstanding…” she whispered.

“Is it not, Lizzy?” Mr. Gardiner interjected. “I just told Mr. Darcy that if your father were here, he would not leave this room for weeks. He would eat here and sleep here.”

“I assume Miss Bennet inherited her love of books from her father,” Mr. Darcy said.

“I believe so. And her fondness for chess and fishing,” Mr. Gardiner continued, making Elizabeth’s cheeks fill with heat.

“I understand Mr. Darcy inherited an artistic side from his mother,” Elizabeth suddenly said, only to regret it a moment later. Her cheeks burned, and she averted her eyes, scolding herself for her imprudence. To her surprise, he replied rather lightly.

“I hope I did, though the real artist in the family is my sister, Georgiana. But I enjoy playing the pianoforte and drawing, especially when I am distressed. It is a way to regain peace and composure.”

“To me, the best way to regain some peace is fishing,” Mr. Gardiner said. “I look forward to tomorrow with pleasure.”

“Come, let us go to dinner and resume our conversation there,” Mr. Darcy suggested.

The dining room was equally spectacular, even impressive. There was a huge table in the middle, with only a few places arranged at one end. Mr. Darcy sat at the head of the table, with Elizabeth and Mr. Gardiner to either side of him.

“Lizzy, will you join us in fishing tomorrow?” Mr. Gardiner suddenly asked.

“Oh, no,” she replied, perturbed by the very notion. “I am certain you will enjoy your time much better with just gentlemen.”

“As you wish. Mr. Darcy has been so kind as to allow your aunt’s cousins to come and visit tomorrow. I shall return the visit the following day,” Mr. Gardiner continued. “We shall be forever in debt to Mr. Darcy for his generosity in allowing us to stay in his house.”

“Mr. Gardiner, any debt will be repaid if you cease talking about it,” Mr. Darcy replied. “I feel uncomfortable being praised for something anyone would do.”

“I am sorry to hear that, sir, and I shall try to comply with your wish. But no, not everybody would do such a thing for strangers. We were not friends, and we certainly do not belong to the same circles. Even your acquaintance with Elizabeth was trifling. From what I heard, you barely knew each other. You certainly could not be described as friends.”

Mr. Darcy looked at Elizabeth, and she needed a moment to compose herself enough to speak.

“Mr. Darcy and I became better acquainted during our stay in Kent, as I already told you, Uncle. It was an opportunity for me to better understand him and to realise my error in judgment. If we were not friends, the fault was entirely mine.”

Ending her speech, she finally dared to hold Mr. Darcy’s gaze for a longer moment.

“I must disagree with Miss Bennet once more,” Mr. Darcy said.

“My behaviour during our previous meetings was nothing but arrogant and disdainful, so Miss Bennet’s judgment was correct, based on that behaviour.

I hope we shall not argue for the biggest share of blame in the past and shall try to improve the present. ”

He spoke to Mr. Gardiner, only stealing several glances at her, but his meaning was transparent to Elizabeth. Her uncle’s presence made their agreement more difficult but no less clear.

“I would like that very much, Mr. Darcy,” she answered with all honesty.

The first course was served, and the conversation paused while they enjoyed it.

“Have you been at Pemberley long, Mr. Darcy?” Mr. Gardiner asked.

He hesitated a moment.

“For a few months. I came here almost immediately after I returned from Kent,” he said, his voice heavy as though it was a difficult confession. She understood what he had not said explicitly, and breathing became difficult again.

“And will you stay at Pemberley for the rest of the summer?”

“Yes, that is what I planned. But I shall not be alone for much longer. My sister will come home soon — she is visiting my uncle and aunt at the moment. Lord and Lady Matlock.”

“The Matlock residence is not far from Pemberley?”

“A couple of hours by carriage. The colonel would have been delighted to see you again, Miss Bennet.”

“And I would have been pleased to see him, sir,” Elizabeth answered.

“In less than a fortnight, I shall have some other visitors who I believe would also be happy to see you. Mr. Bingley and his sisters.”

“Oh… How lovely! I am sorry I shall not have the opportunity to see Mr. Bingley. And his sisters, of course.”

“Mr. Gardiner, do you plan to stay long in Derbyshire?”

“Unfortunately, I must be back in London in ten days. My business requires my presence.”

“I see…”

“Does Mr. Bingley plan to keep the lease on Netherfield?” Elizabeth asked.

“I am not certain. I have not spoken to him since before Easter. I have only received one letter — confirming his acceptance of my invitation to visit Pemberley.”

“Oh…I hope he will make his decision soon…in regard to Netherfield, I mean. It would be better for the entire neighbourhood if Netherfield Park is not abandoned,” she concluded.

“Miss Bennet, do you think… Would the neighbours rather Bingley returned to Netherfield or not?”

The question caught Elizabeth unprepared; even Mr. Gardiner — understanding its meaning — looked surprised.

“Mr. Bingley is well liked by everyone in Meryton,” Elizabeth responded cautiously.

“His departure was quite an unpleasant surprise, and he was missed for a long time. I am sure he would be welcomed if he returned with the intention of staying longer. If not, perhaps it would be fair for him to give up Netherfield for good.”

“Yes, that sounds fair,” Mr. Darcy uttered.

The subject was abandoned for a while, then Mr. Darcy enquired, “Mr. Gardiner told me your family is in good health. Your sisters are all at Longbourn now?”

“All but one. My youngest sister Lydia is in Brighton.”

“Alone?”

“She was invited by Colonel Forster’s wife and is staying in his home. The regiment is camped in Brighton for the summer,” she explained with some restraint. Mr. Darcy’s expression immediately changed.

“Colonel Forster is an excellent man, from what I heard. Unfortunately, not all his officers are equally honourable and trustworthy,” he finally said.

“I agree,” Elizabeth answered. “To be honest, I did not agree with Lydia going there, but my father trusted the colonel.”

“My niece Lydia is a sweet girl but very young, unwise, and reckless,” Mr. Gardiner interjected. “She will not rest until she gets what she wants, and my brother Bennet chose to let her leave so that everyone could enjoy a peaceful summer.”

Mr. Darcy looked at Elizabeth without any further comment, and even though he spoke no words, she felt his rebuke.

“Speaking of my sisters, I should like to write to Jane,” Elizabeth said. “May I be so bold as to beg you for some paper and a pen, Mr. Darcy? If it is not too much trouble.”

“Of course. No trouble at all, Miss Bennet.”

“Lizzy, tomorrow morning Mr. Darcy and I shall depart very early and be gone for most of the day. Please take care of your aunt.”

“Of course, Uncle.”

“Miss Bennet, Mrs. Reynolds told me you liked the room on the corner,” Mr. Darcy continued.

“Oh yes, sir. I absolutely love it,” she said enthusiastically, then felt embarrassed for using the word love so easily. She suddenly recalled his ardent confession of love, and it tormented her further.

“I am glad to hear that.”

“Thank you for offering it to me, Mr. Darcy. I could not dream of anything better.”

She was being honest and hoped he would not consider her statement inappropriate.

“It was truly my pleasure, Miss Bennet. Beauty is never so complete as when somebody knows how to appreciate it.”

For the rest of the evening, Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy continued to talk, their words polite and proper but burdened with meaning that only the two of them comprehended.

After dinner, Elizabeth withdrew to her chamber, allowing Mr. Darcy and her uncle time to enjoy their brandy and cigars.

Her spirits had returned, and she felt almost comfortable, almost at peace. Almost.

She had spoken to him enough to find common ground. Even in her uncle’s presence, he had suggested they put the past aside and make the best of the present, which was all she wanted.

The only thing that she did not dare mention — and probably never would — were the paintings. He had admitted his artistic talents and knew she had seen the pictures. If he wished to, he might bring it up himself.

***

Surprising even herself, Elizabeth slept very well that night. After returning to her chamber, she spent quite a long while on the balcony. She was — again — pleased to receive further proof of Mr. Darcy’s consideration: a maid brought her paper and a pen, and she began writing to Jane immediately.

Afterwards, she fell asleep with the windows wide open, allowing the scent and the sounds of the park to enter her room.

By the time she awoke, the sun had been up for several hours, so she dressed and hurried downstairs. Her uncle and Mr. Darcy had already left, so she joined her aunt, taking breakfast with her.

Annoyingly, Mrs. Gardiner’s leg was even more swollen and painful; it had turned dark blue, and Mrs. Reynolds insisted on fetching the doctor again.

Around noon, Mrs. Gardiner’s relatives arrived to see her, and another hour was spent in sharing memories and making plans for the coming days — if and when the injury would allow it.

Once the guests left, Mrs. Gardiner chose to sleep, and Elizabeth, with nothing else to do, went for a walk around the lake.

She hoped to catch a glimpse of the gentlemen returning, but she was disappointed.

It was very warm, so she walked back to the house and went directly to the library, intending to choose a book.

Once there, however, she allowed herself to rejoice in discovering all the little details that revealed Mr. Darcy’s presence there.

She even sat in his chair, at his desk, touching the heavy wood.

She brushed her fingers over his pen — remembering Miss Bingley’s offer to mend it for him.

Then she walked around the large room, admiring the books, wondering which were his favourites.

Eventually, she sat on the sofa; it was cool and silent, surrounded by the books and by the notion that everything belonged to him.

Feeling slightly tired, she lay back on the sofa for a moment, waking with a pounding heart when she heard Mr. Darcy’s voice calling her name.