Page 21

Miri

“ D o we really have to do this twice this week?” Ashley grumbled. “Once wasn’t enough for you?”

Miri ignored her and unrolled her yoga mat next to Nicole’s. She wasn’t making them be there. Besides the very first time when she’d been too anxious to come on her own, she’d never once insisted that Nicole and Ashley join her.

After five years of weekly complaints, Miri was pretty sure Ashley just had thing against incense.

“Next week we’re going to pilates.” Ashley grumbled.

“Don’t be a baby. It’s good for your core.”

“So are crunches, but you don’t see me curling up on the floor.”

Nicole yawned and peeled her sweater over her head. “God, I would love to curl up on the floor and take a nap.”

Miri ignored them and smoothed out a wrinkle in her mat. The spot on Nicole’s other side was noticeably empty. She frowned to herself.

"No Marta today?”

Nicole shook her head. "I think she's going through something right now."

Ashley and Miri shot her questioning looks.

“All I know is that she dropped her donut in the breakroom yesterday and then left work early to 're-evaluate her life choices'."

Oh, boy." Ashley winced. “That girl is tiptoeing her way toward a crash out.”

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's one more stupid HR meeting away from burning the office down and running off to Bali."

Grateful that her work problems consisted of preventing children from eating crayons, Miri pulled out her phone and shot off a text.

Miri

We're here for you if you need anything, boo... even if it's just to hold the matches while you commit arson :)))))

A heart blinked next to her message, but Marta didn’t message back. Miri made a mental note to check up on her later in the week. If Marta’s divorce dragged out any longer, she was pretty sure they were going to have to have to be her alibi when she inevitably murdered her ex.

From what they had been told about the jerk, Miri wouldn’t even be mad about it. She would happily lie to the police if it meant ridding the world of a first class asshole like that.

Shaking her head, Miri tugged off her hoodie and moved to stand over her yoga mat. A sharp gasp rang out beside her. Crap. She’d almost forgotten.

“What the hell happened to you?” Nicole asked, her dark eyes wide.

Miri looked down at the red hives dotting her arms and chest and sighed.

“Strawberry massage oil. It should clear up in a day or two.”

“Which one?” Ashley raised her eyebrows, a teasing smile already curling her lips

“Duke. The poor guy feels awful about it.”

“Just how low do those hives go?” Nicole’s worried expression had vanished behind a smirk. She looked Miri up and down, her eyes lingering on the waistband of her leggings.

“Let’s just say I’m going to need a hand mirror to reapply ointment later.”

Her friends laughed as Miri sighed. At least someone thought it was funny. Her more sensitive bits were still too itchy to find humor in it yet.

“So?” Ashley asked.

“So, what?”

“Sooooo, how was it?” The tall blond wiggled her eyebrows. “We want details. Is he just as uptight in bed or is he hiding a kinky freak under those starchy button downs? Does he have the dick v? Did the wings come into play? And more importantly, can you two bang it out in mid air?”

Nicole slapped her hand over her mouth to contain her giggles.

“The dick v?” Miri’s nose wrinkled. What the hell was that?

“You know, these muscles on a guy’s abs.” Ashley karate chopped her hips and pointed her fingertips toward her groin. “It’s like an arrow straight to their dick. The dick v.”

She gave an extra karate chop for emphasis and Nicole lost it. Wheezing with laughter, she folded at the waist and clutched at Miri’s arm. Miri’s cheeks burned. Heat spread through her cheeks to the tips of her ears.

Where did Ashley come up with this shit?

“I don’t kiss and tell, but I will say… I never did find my panties after.”

Miri patted Nicole on the back as she started to choke on her giggles. If she didn’t get it under control, she was going to turn purple soon from lack of oxygen.

Ignoring Nicole’s mental breakdown, Ashley just nodded.

Her pretty face twisted into a serious expression as she made mental notes.

Miri had no idea what she ever did with the tidbits she stored in her head, but if her exploits with her tentacled hookups were anything to go by, she was definitely putting them to good use.

The gong rang to begin class. Miri took her place at her mat, never so happy to hear a gong in her life. Except there was one more thing…

Miri leaned over and whispered, “Oh, and no.”

“No?”

“We can’t bang mid-air. I already asked.”

It was finally too much for Nicole. Clapping a hand over her mouth, she disappeared into the bathroom to choke on her laughter in private.

Miri shrugged and began her sun salutations. They’d asked, after all.

I’m going to kill Duke.

With every passing minute of yoga, Miri had felt less and less sorry that the purple giant was beating himself up. Every twist of her body set her hives on fire. By the time the gong rang and the girls had decided on a restaurant for lunch, she was sure there were fire ants in her leggings.

Maybe she really should take notes from Ashley and rub some poison ivy on his boxers. Then they would really see how bad he felt about it.

Grumbling under her breath, Miri shifted in her seat. If it weren’t for her mother’s voice screeching in her head, she wouldn’t hesitate to pick her leggings out of her itching ass right there at the table.

Hungry, itchy, and irritable. Truly the best possible combo when a girl was trying to read her menu. She tossed the laminated sheet on the table with a huff.

“Fuck it. I want cake for lunch.”

Ashley raised her eyebrows. Eyes narrowing, Miri silently dared her to comment.

“I feel like I had a beehive crammed up my vagina,” she growled. “I’m allowed to wallow in self pity and skip my vegetables.”

“Don’t look at me, girl.” Ashley held up her hands. “If it were me, I’d set up camp in an oatmeal bath and make my harem of hot, oiled up demons brings me bottoms glasses of wine.”

“Oiled up?”

Ashley lifted her menu and went back to scanning the options. “Shh, this is my fantasy, not yours.”

The waiter stopped beside their table, a bright smile on his fanged face. Short horns jutted from his curly hair. The scales on his face seemed so familiar, but Miri couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

Was he a parent at the school? Or maybe he’d been in the same line at the craft store last week— he looked like the type who wouldn’t mind picking up a bit of yarn.

“I know it’s lunch time, but can I still order off the breakfast menu?” Nicole asked, oblivious to Miri’s fixation. “I really just want toast and eggs.”

“I can ask.”

He turned away and disappeared through the swinging kitchen door, his short tail whipping around his legs. Miri wrinkled her nose. Seriously, where the hell had she seen him before?

A foot jabbed at her ankle. She winced as a shoe scraped one of her hives and set off a whole new round of itching up her leg. Damn it. For a second there, she’d been distracted enough to forget that her skin was on fire.

She looked up and caught Ashley’s frown. The blonde looked pointedly at Nicole, her brow crunched in worry. Miri studied her friend. Nicole was looking a bit green.

“Are you okay?”

“I think I overdid it at yoga.” She shrugged, her shoulders barely lifting. “I just want something to settle my stomach.”

Miri did her best not to frown and caught Ashley’s eye again. They’d once seen Nicole go straight from a drunken obstacle course into a family sized platter of nachos. The only remaining evidence of the carnage had been a cheese smear on her lip and a couple chip crumbs on her sweater.

She opened her mouth her to question, but snapped it closed as their scaly waiter returned.

“Yeah, the kitchen’s cool with eggs and toast. How do you want the eggs cooked?” He whipped out a notepad and started to scribble down their orders.

Once her triple layer caramel crunch cake was written in ink, he headed back to the kitchen. Miri’s eyes locked on the tips of his pointed ears. Leaning over her water glass, she hissed at her two friends.

“I think I matched with that guy on MONSTR.”

“Hopefully, you let him down easy, because if I find spit on my eggs I’m going to have a mental breakdown,” Nicole sighed.

Of course, she had… right? It’s not like she could even check, Kaz had deleted the app off her phone right in front of her.

“I don’t think we ever got past the initial hellos.”

Ashley leaned back in her chair to give the waiter a once over as he served another table.

“He’s cute in a goblin-y type way. What is he?”

“No idea.” The horns could make him any number of things, but the scales were drawing a blank. If she had to guess, there was probably a mix of monsters in his ancestry. It was more common than she’d thought—just look at Kaz and Ace. Half demon, half human, and a whole lot of hotness.

“I might try and get his number.” Ashley turned back to Miri with an apologetic wince. “Unless you’re looking for a fifth monster to add to the fangy bunch? Then it’s all you, babe.”

Miri snorted. She was pretty sure four was already too many for her, but it wasn’t like she was willing to lose any of her demons.

Duke’s quiet comfort and shy smile that she pretended not to notice when she caught him watching her.

Nico’s grouchy eyerolls and booming laugh that always felt like a shock to her system.

Kaz and Ace teasing each other, taking turns to shoot her cheeky winks.

Was there anything Miri was really missing in her life?

“Nope. Four demons is perfect for me.”