Page 81 of Don't Puck Up
“How do your injuries relate to you and Alec?” Keeley asked.
“They don’t. I was just starting at the beginning, like Coach said.”
“Fast forward to the relevant parts, then, son.”
I smiled at his blunt instruction. “Kam and I have been seeing someone since the off season. We met in Fiji, and we’ve been doing the long-distance thing for a while. It’s been strictly on the DL, but it’s more than casual. We want to make it work.” I paused and exhaled slowly, gathering up the courage to face whatever happened next.
Keeley asked, “So have you and Kamirah split?”
“No, we have a boyfriend. The three of us are in a relationship together.”
“Right,” Coach responded, stretching out the vowel and flicked his gaze to Keeley. I knew what he was thinking—two bisexual men on the team who were both in a trio relationship would make for some interesting press.
“I was ready to come out to my family, to tell them about our boyfriend. We flew to Boston, tried to have a family lunch with them, and I told them I’m bisexual.” My hands trembled as I closed my eyes, then sucked in a slow breath. My heart beat hard, bile creeping up my throat as their hatred-filled voices broke through the walls I’d hastily erected, still trying to poison me. I wouldn’t let the shame they’d instilled in me for so long take over again. I focused on the positives—John’s support and Monroe’s words.“They should never have hurt you like that. You deserve so much better. They should have accepted you, showing you kindness and love.”
“My mom told me I was going to hell, among other things. Her religion—” My voice broke, and I cleared my throat. My eyes burned, unshed tears threatening to fall. I gestured to myself, adding, “My father and brothers taught me a more hands-on lesson. They did this.”
“How badly did you fuck them up?” Coach asked, a flicker of anger sounding in his voice.
I’d seen how close he was with his family and how hard he loved his kids and grandkids. I knew his responsibility as the team’s coach wasn’t to prevent PR nightmares, but it only brought him headaches if his players were charged with assault. I was glad I wasn’t going to be giving him one. Well, at least not one that related to criminal charges.
But I was still ashamed of myself for letting them throw punches that went unanswered. I’d done what I believed in, but it came at a cost. “You have to understand that my nieces and nephews were there, as well as Kam—”
“Answer the question, Chris,” Keeley responded in her no-nonsense tone.
“I didn’t touch them. My nephews and nieces…. I didn’t want them to see me hit their fathers and grandfather.”
“I’m so sorry, Chris. You didn’t deserve that. You know here at the Seals, we’re an inclusive organization—”
I held my hands up in a stopping motion. “Yeah, it’s a bit late to do the HR spiel on me, Keeley.”
She looked like I’d kicked her puppy. I didn’t want anyone to be uncomfortable around me, but especially not Keeley—she was a hard-ass, but she genuinely cared about the Seals. My concern wasn’t completely charitable though. Keeley delegated all the PR jobs to players. If I pissed her off, I’d find myself signed up for all the shitty ones.
“But you should know that if I didn’t think the team would be supportive, I would have already asked my agent to get me transferred.”
“What do you want to do moving forward?” Coach asked, smoothly moving us on. “Obviously, time off until you’re cleared to play again. I’ll petition the board for no fine to be issued. There are extenuating circumstances here that couldn’t be helped. But what else can we do to help support you?”
I thought on it for a moment. I’d walked in here unsure of what I wanted out of the meeting. But in the space of a few moments, all the pieces fell into place. My path, once again, became crystal clear.
I’d asked the doctors to forward my results to the police, but I hadn’t pressed charges. Kam, her dad, and the kids had made statements and so had the rest of my family. I’d refused to speak with the police, just wanting the whole thing to go away. But as each day passed my resolve to bury it and move on waivered. Even if our relationship could be repaired, I didn’t want it to be. They’d done the damage, but even after I healed, their words and the looks on their faces would stay with me. Nothing between us could ever be the same. I never wanted to seethem again—that hadn’t changed—but I wanted justice. I wanted to be able to stand up and say I fought for myself the right way.
“I want to clear the air,” I said, realizing it was the right thing to do. “I want to right wrongs—I need people to know that Hux and Kam were innocent in all this. Maybe it’s wrong to bring it up again, especially after the statement I put out last year, but I can tell people the reason now. I’m done hiding.”
But that wasn’t the only reason I was coming out publicly. I needed the world to wake up and see what prejudice did.
“I want people to see what’s happened to me. I want to tell my story. I want LGBTQIA+ kids to know they aren't alone. I’ve struggled with my sexuality my whole life, but I’ve learned the hard way that it’s worth being true to yourself.” My mind made up, I smiled. “I want to do a press conference.”
“Sure, we can set one up at the end of the season. That way you’ll be all healed up and ready to speak,” Keeley said.
“I want to do it as soon as possible.” I paused, thinking about minimizing distractions for the team. The best answer was the end of the season, but that was still months away, and the speculation as to why I’d been placed on IR again would only intensify unless we explained it now. “Can we do it after tomorrow night's game?”
Coach grumbled, but Keeley nodded and replied, “Absolutely.”
“Good. Let’s do that, then.” I huffed out a laugh and added, “Right, there’s something else I should tell you—” Coach sighed and I bit back a chuckle. “The man we’re dating is… kind of famous.”
“Who is he?” Coach asked reluctantly.
“Locke Ledger.”