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CRISTY: ‘It’s almost midnight on Thursday and I’m with Connor at his home recording this. We’re hoping for news from Guernsey after receiving a call a couple of hours ago telling us that something was going on at the Villa des Roches. We still have no idea what it is, or if the incident – I guess that’s what we should call it for now – is over yet. We just thought we’d share the wait with you guys so you’ll get an idea of the build-up to whatever is coming down the track.’
CONNOR: ‘Since getting the tip-off we’ve been trying all our contacts on the island – including Sadie, Gabe and Lukas – but so far all we’ve had is a text from our original source telling us that things aren’t looking good.’
CRISTY: ‘What the hell does that mean, you must be asking, and believe me, we are too. Our imaginations are running out of control. Is everyone safe? Has someone set fire to the villa? Where is Sadie? What’s happening to her, or her aunt? Are Gabe and Lukas still there? It was Evie who raised the alarm, apparently, so we’re guessing they are, but she’s not responding to messages either.’
CONNOR: ‘As a quick recap: the last we heard from Sadie was earlier today when she told us she was planning to go to the villa again in the morning in the hope of speaking to her aunt. So, did she go this evening instead?’
CRISTY: ‘I know it’s doubtful we can use this next bit, but just in case: now could be a good time to share a call we had from Mia, also earlier today, in which she was clearly confused between Sadie and Lottie, and ended up accusing us of turning Sadie against her. She claims to be afraid of what Sadie might do to her, and insists that Gabe and Lukas are imposters. A quick reminder here that the results of a DNA test on both men show that they are indeed who they claim to be. Anyway, have a listen to some of Mia’s distress call, because that’s what it sounds like – a woman in distress.’
As Connor stopped recording Cristy noted the time code and wrote, She’s coming for me , next to it, a guide for where to edit in the call later. That done, she sat back on the sofa, tired and worried, and annoyed with David for keeping them in the dark for so long.
‘What the hell’s going on over there?’ she muttered, glancing up as Jodi put her head round the sitting room door. The baby was in her arms, goggle-eyed and dribbly, and smiling in a way that caught Cristy’s heart.
‘More coffee?’ Jodi whispered, as if someone might be sleeping.
‘What are you doing up?’ Connor asked, going to take his daughter.
‘She’s hungry,’ Jodi replied, ‘so I thought I’d come and sit with you guys while she feeds.’
Nuzzling, kissing and cooing over his girl, Connor said, ‘Then I’ll make the coffee.’
Jodi smiled her thanks and went to sit with Cristy on the sofa, taking Aurora back as Connor said, ‘I’m guessing you won’t want one?’
She shook her head and yawned while opening her top ready to nurse.
Watching, Cristy couldn’t stop her mind leaping from Aiden to Bear and on to the awful possibility that she was going to be drowning in babies in the coming weeks and months. Thank God this sweet little angel wasn’t her responsibility, was completely loved and cared for by her parents and had no need of anything from her soon-to-be godmother other than to be doted on and spoiled.
‘Connor told me about Aiden,’ Jodi said, after settling Aurora against her breast.
Cristy’s eyes closed, then quickly opened again as her phone rang.
‘David!’ she shouted to Connor, and clicking on, cried, ‘Thank God. What on earth is happening over there?’ She glanced up as Connor rushed in and set to record.
David’s voice was hoarse and low as he told them what he could.
DAVID: ‘It’s been pretty chaotic. The police and emergency services are still all over the place, but mostly they’re searching the cliffs under the villa …’
CRISTY: ‘Christ! What are they searching for?’
DAVID: ‘A body. I guess it can only be that, the fall is too great to survive and the rocks …’
CRISTY: ‘Who are we talking about, David? Please, for God’s sake, don’t say it’s Sadie …’
DAVID: ‘Sorry. No, it’s Mia. Apparently she contacted Sadie earlier and told her to come … I’m not sure how long Sadie was there, or what happened between them … All I can tell you is what a detective told me, that apparently Mia threw herself from one of the balconies.’
CRISTY: ‘Oh my God! In front of Sadie?’
DAVID: ‘I’m afraid so. Sadie’s been in a pretty dreadful state since. They’ve given her some kind of sedative now. As far as I can make out she went down there alone, but it’s possible Lukas was with her … I haven’t got that straight yet …’
CRISTY: ‘Have you managed to talk to Sadie at all?’
DAVID: ‘A few minutes ago, but she was pretty out of it by then. Exhaustion, shock, the drugs kicking in … She seems more worried about Mia than anything else.’
CONNOR: ‘Where are you now?’
DAVID: ‘On my way home. The police want to talk to me again tomorrow, and there’s a good chance someone will contact you … I told them about the podcast, and the noose incident, I hope that’s OK. It kind of goes to her being suicidal.’
CRISTY: ‘Of course. We can let them have—’
DAVID: ‘Sorry, Lukas is trying to get hold of me. If there’s anything to report I’ll call back, otherwise let’s speak in the morning.’
CRISTY: ‘Please ask him if he was with Sadie at the villa earlier.’
DAVID: ‘Will do.’
As the call ended Cristy and Connor stared at one another, processing all that had been said, all it could mean, all that might or might not have happened earlier that evening. For the moment it was difficult to get their heads around anything, although a standout for Cristy was the fact that Mia had thrown herself to the very same sort of end that had been inflicted on Janina, and she could see from his expression that Connor had very probably zeroed in on that too.
*
It was late on Saturday afternoon before the events of Thursday evening began to come clear. By then Cristy and Connor had shared all relevant material with the Guernsey police and had also spoken to Gabe and Lukas. Both men were clearly badly shaken up, they could see that on the video link as well as hear it in their voices.
LUKAS: ‘No, I didn’t go down there with Sasha. I wanted to, so did Gabe … We just weren’t sure how stable the woman was, or why she was so insistent that Sasha should go alone. I had a bad feeling about it from the moment she left our hotel to drive back there. We all did. I only wish we’d ignored her instructions and gone with her anyway. Or at least followed.’
CRISTY: ‘How long was she there before you heard what had happened? Actually, how did you hear?’
LUKAS: ‘Sasha rang me … She was so distraught I could hardly make out what she was saying … Obviously we jumped in the car and went straight there. Jasper let us in the gates. She’d called him too, so he came to the villa with us, but none of us knew until we got inside what had actually happened.’
CRISTY: ‘And what had happened?’
LUKAS: ‘We found Sadie curled up in a ball on the floor of Lottie’s study. She pointed at the open doors and kept saying, “I tried to stop her, I tried to stop her.” I went to look, but it was too dark to see anything. Jasper got straight on the phone to the police, while Gabe and I did our best to comfort Sasha. She could hardly catch her breath she was so upset. She told us she hadn’t realized what was happening until it was too late. She asked us to stay with her until the police arrived, so of course we did. Evie drove over as well, as frantic as we were. By the time the police came … They must have already called out the lifeboat and helicopters because we could hear them, the noise, blinding lights on the water … We were asked to wait in another room while Sadie talked them through what had happened. They wouldn’t even let Gabe be with her. It was very hard for her, but I think they treated her well.’
CRISTY: ‘Where is she now?’
LUKAS: ‘At the lodge with Jasper. Obviously we’ve cancelled our flights to Florida. We’ll be here for as long as she needs us.’
CRISTY: ‘Do you think there’s any chance she’ll speak to us?’
LUKAS: ‘Yes, yes. She’s told us everything she told the police, and she says she wants to share it with you when she’s ready. I’m not sure when that will be. She’s been a little calmer since the body was recovered this morning, but I’m sure you understand this is still a very difficult time for her. So much to process … The trauma of it all. How could her aunt have done such a terrible thing to her? Thank God we’re all here.’
After the call was over Cristy and Connor, at the office now, continued to record, while Jacks and Clove joined in the discussion of what they’d just heard, and how their initial thoughts were playing out.
CRISTY: ‘The first question I’m asking myself is, did Mia get Sadie down there with the sole purpose of making her witness her suicide?’
CONNOR: ‘It’s the kind of mad and cruel thing she’d do.’
CLOVE: ‘Do we know if Mia contacted Sadie by text, or did she call her? I’m bringing it up because a text will show whether or not Mia asked her to go down there, whereas a call won’t.’
CRISTY: ‘Are you thinking Sadie might have gone, uninvited?’
CLOVE: ‘I’m just saying, it’ll look a lot better for her if there is a text asking her to go there.’
CONNOR: ‘Unless it’s found that Mia died before she went off the balcony, I can’t see how they’ll be able to pin anything on Sadie, if anyone’s actually thinking that way .’
JACKS: ‘Do you believe that neither Lukas nor Gabe were at the villa with her when it happened?’
CRISTY: ‘I did, but now you’re asking … The police will no doubt establish how their movements corresponded with Sadie’s, presuming their phones were on.’
CONNOR: ‘Hey guys, do any of us actually believe that Sadie would have pushed her over?’
JACKS: ‘Yes, but no. I mean, what would be in it for her? Why create all this fuss and put herself in danger of going to prison when a whole new life is just starting to open up for her?’
CRISTY: ‘It doesn’t make sense for her to do that, but it’s true, her being there alone with her aunt before it happened, especially with everything that’s come to light lately … But no one knows about the most incriminating parts of the journals so why would they suspect her of anything?’
CONNOR: ‘Actually, the police do know. Remember, Sadie tipped them off herself about what could be coming down the line.’
JACKS: ‘If she’d taken someone to the villa with her, like Lukas or Gabe, she’d have an alibi of sorts … Actually, it’s unlikely they’d be considered reliable witnesses when their revenge motive is, arguably, as strong as Sadie’s.’
CRISTY: ‘And I don’t think any of us believe that Sadie did want revenge. She just wanted her aunt straightened out – as if that were ever possible – so she could move on with her life.’
CONNOR: ‘I’m not arguing with that, but I think from hereon, we’re going to have to record two ways – one taking the view that Sadie was the victim of her aunt’s madness and guilt, i.e. suicide. The other asking, did she punish Mia for what was done to her mother? OK, I get we’re not really believing in that, but the police are almost definitely going to open an investigation, and I’m sure once they delve into the detail the similarity of the two deaths – Janina and Mia – won’t pass them by.’
A lengthy silence ensued as they considered the impossible situation Sadie was now in, her presumed innocence very probably hanging in the balance, and how they were actually discussing exploiting that fact as events unfolded. They would also, Cristy realized, with mounting apprehension, need to take a long hard look at their own investigation, and the role they might have played in pushing Sadie to where she was now.
*
‘We’ve made the national news!’ Iz declared triumphantly, as she bounced into the office on Monday morning looking only marginally less eccentric than usual. ‘It’s making every bulletin – Hindsight at the heart of another murder mystery; inside scoop from our favourite podcasters: what more can Cristy and Connor tell us about the mysterious events in Guernsey? You must have heard it?’
‘Of course we have,’ Connor retorted, ‘and we’re being bombarded with requests for statements, interviews, exclusives. Probably thanks to you?’
Flushing, she held up her hands in innocence. ‘I’m sure these guys can find their way to you without my help,’ she pointed out. ‘But if you do feel like speaking to one of them, I’ve made a list of those who are likely to give us the best coverage – and I’m negotiating with a couple of broadcasters for a full hour sit-down after the last pod has dropped.’ She gave a little squeal and shimmy of excitement. ‘We’ve definitely got our big finale now. Did she jump or was she pushed? Revenge or karma? So many questions, and everyone’s going to think they know the answers … By the way, I listened to the recording of your team chat that you did on Saturday – it’s going to be perfect for the last episode. I’ve already tipped off a couple of outlets …’
‘Wait! What?’ Connor cut in sharply.
Iz looked startled, immediately worried.
‘Please tell me you haven’t been discussing what was in that recording,’ he growled. ‘It hasn’t been edited yet, and it definitely can’t go anywhere until we’ve spoken to Sadie, which is supposed to be happening later today.’
Iz drew a quick zip across her lips. ‘No details given,’ she assured him. Then added brightly, ‘Tell me the difference between Hindsight and Wuhan?’
Everyone regarded her incredulously.
Joyfully she cried, ‘What happens in Hindsight stays in Hindsight. ’
As Connor blinked Cristy found herself laughing, as did Clove and Jacks until Connor finally cracked a smile too.
‘OK, as long as we’ve got that clear,’ he grunted. ‘And, for the record, we’re happy to do as many interviews as you can lay on once we’ve got the last episode nailed down, but be aware that that might not happen as fast as you’d like. As far as we know the police haven’t finished questioning Sadie yet, and we still don’t have the pathologist’s preliminary report on how Mia actually died.’
‘Did she jump or was she pushed?’ Iz repeated excitedly, and peeled off her tricornered hat and bobbly coat, to go and tuck herself behind her desk. ‘I know it’s wrong to be so … thrilled , by someone’s death,’ she whispered to Jacks who was closest to her, ‘but you have to admit Mia did us the biggest favour by jumping when she did. Unless she was pushed of course, and that would be even better.’
Jacks’s eyes widened as he looked at the others, clearly not sure how to deal with this.
Having no suggestions, Cristy said to Connor, ‘Let’s go over what we already have for the last episode … Actually, here’s David.’ She clicked to answer his call and as his face filled the screen she saw right away how badly he must have slept the last few nights.
‘OK, pathologist has reported death by drowning,’ he informed them, ‘which means she was alive before she went into the water, but probably not conscious, possibly due to hitting rocks on the way down. There are trauma injuries to the head and torso, consistent with a heavy fall. Toxicology showing nothing sinister so far, they’re still working on it, and no mention of what might or might not have happened during the lead-up to the event.’
‘Where’s Sadie now?’ Cristy asked. ‘Do you know what’s happening to her?’
‘As far as I’m aware she’s still at the lodge with Jasper and the others. Anna’s just gone over there and Mum’s planning to join them later. At some stage there will be a funeral to organize, but we’re probably a way off from that yet.’
‘Do you know if anything’s happening at the villa?’
‘Lukas tells me there’s still a police presence, so it’s off limits for now, although I can’t imagine Sadie, or anyone else will want to go down there.’ David glanced at his watch. ‘I’m sorry, but I have to get to a meeting. If I hear any more I’ll call.’
*
It was much later in the day when Sadie finally appeared on their screens looking perhaps less shellshocked than she had over the past few days, but still dazed as though it hadn’t all completely sunk in yet. Her lovely face was ashen and her shoulders seemed weighted by all the emotions she was battling.
‘Are you sure you’re OK to do this?’ Cristy asked carefully.
Sadie nodded and attempted a closed-lip smile. ‘Does it make sense to say that I want to try and put it behind me?’ she asked. ‘Obviously that can’t happen yet, but talking it through with the police, and with my … family, and now with you …’ Her voice broke and she lowered her head to take a moment.
‘Is anyone there with you?’ Cristy asked.
‘Yes, Jasper, Evie and Anna. Dad and Lukas have popped over to the hotel, but they should be back soon. Anna’s been the very best friend anyone could wish for throughout all of this. I’m really going to miss her when Jasper and I make the move to Florida, but she’s promised to come and visit and I expect I’ll be back and forth myself for a while.’ She stopped, looking slightly bewildered, as though talking about the future was an alien concept when her whole life could be about to implode.
‘There’s a lot to sort out,’ she continued, ‘and it’ll probably take some time to get everything straight …’ She touched a hand to her mouth as it trembled. ‘I wonder who’ll want to buy the villa after what happened there.’
Knowing how scattered and even irrational a person’s mind could be following a trauma, Cristy said, ‘We’re already recording, so whenever you’re ready to start talking us through last Thursday night … Just take your time.’
Sadie nodded, inhaled another deep breath and glanced off to her right where, presumably, the others were watching and listening and lending their moral support.
SADIE: ‘I got a call from Mia about eight o’clock – actually it was five past, according to my phone – the police checked. All she said was, “I think it’s time we talked. If you can come now there’s something I want to show you, but please come alone.” My first thought was of what had happened to you when you went to see her – the noose and everything. I was afraid she might do the same to me, so we decided that Jasper should go with me regardless of what she’d said. Then, at the last minute, I realized that if anyone else was there she might start putting on a crazy act, the way she does. With only me as an audience, I felt she’d be more likely to behave … I want to say rationally, but I’m not sure it’s the right word. Anyway, it’s why I ended up going alone.
‘When I got there the front door was open. I called out as I went in, knowing she probably wouldn’t hear me if she was in the kitchen, but then she answered and I realized she was in Lottie’s rooms. I’m not sure why that spooked me – I guess it was because she so rarely goes in there and after everything …’
Sadie pressed a hand to her mouth, as though steadying her lips, then sucked in a breath and pushed on.
SADIE: ‘I wondered if maybe she’d found something else, another bombshell to hit me with, and because I was afraid of what it could be I almost turned around and left again. Now I wish I had, but I had no way of knowing what she was planning, so I braced myself and went to find her.
‘She was on one of Lottie’s sofas, surrounded by what turned out to be the contents of Lottie’s desk and cabinets. She’d pulled it all out … Photographs, files, letters, old notebooks, postcards … I have no idea why she’d done it, it didn’t seem to make any sense, even less so when she told me she was looking for Lottie’s will.
‘I reminded her that Lottie was dead and the will was probably locked up in a lawyer’s vault somewhere, but I don’t think she was listening. She just kept picking up the papers and dropping them, not really seeming to search, just … dropping. I went to try and help her up, but she pulled back so sharply that I almost stumbled over her. Then she started to cry, big howling sobs, that made me cry too. I sat down with her and held her … I tried telling her that everything would be all right … I promised we wouldn’t share what was in the journals, that she was safe. She begged me not to leave, and I felt so awful, so sorry for her, that I wanted to say I wouldn’t, but … Obviously, I wish I had lied now, told her what she wanted to hear, but I had no idea what was in her mind, how she’d probably already planned what she’d do if I refused her. She didn’t give up right away, she started telling me that I’d inherit everything if I stayed, that the entire estate would be mine … I told her that it wasn’t about that, I didn’t care about money, but she shouted over me saying that all I had to do was send Gabe and Lukas away and stop making up stories about her and Lottie.
‘I said we should go and make some tea and continue our chat in the kitchen. I thought that was happening, I really did. She was with me, all the way to the door, and then suddenly she wasn’t. I turned around and saw her scrabbling at the French doors … She tore them open and half-fell out onto the balcony. I raced over, but she was already leaning into the railings, tilting forward, arms wide apart as if she was going to fly. I grabbed her, but she snatched herself free … She said if I touched her again she really would jump, so I held back, not knowing what else to do. Her back was turned, I couldn’t see her face, but I heard what she was saying. She said, “Why did you do this to me? Why, Lottie? Why?” Then she looked at me and said, “ You have done this to me. You. Let my death be on your conscience. See how you like it,” and then she …’
As Sadie started to cry Jasper came to put his arms around her. Cristy and the others watched quietly, almost numbly, as the scenario she’d described continued to play in their minds, the horror of those final moments resonating in all their ugly and vindictive power.
SADIE: ‘The stupid thing is, I couldn’t believe she’d done it. I thought … it was some kind of trick and she was … I don’t know where I thought she was. I just couldn’t accept that she really had thrown herself over. I made myself go to the railings and look down … It was too dark to see anything, but I could hear the sea, and this … this strange sort of whining … I thought it was her, then I realized it was me. I ran back inside and called the others … They came as fast as they could, but there was nothing anyone could do. She’d gone, and I was … I was hardly able to speak I was in such a state … I kept seeing her going over. I couldn’t get it out of my mind.
‘Then the police arrived, and the coast guard … I can’t remember the exact order of things, but I know I probably wasn’t very coherent when I tried to explain what had happened. A doctor turned up and gave me a shot of something and the next thing I knew I was here at the lodge and it was morning. The police came to see me again, they’ve questioned Dad and Lukas as well … There are so many questions … I know they probably don’t mean to make us feel guilty, but I do anyway. Those awful words, “Let my death be on your conscience. See how you like it.” They keep going round and round in my head. I mean, I know I’m not to blame for what she did, but the fact that she wants me to think I am … Through most of my life she’s been kind and generous, devoted … eccentric, yes, and unpredictable, but always there for me, no matter what … So I do blame myself now, because she’s a truly good person in her heart, and I brought all this on us by making her think she wasn’t enough – by trying to find out who I really am when being her niece should have been the best and luckiest thing in the world. And it was, it really was. There was just something in me that needed to know the truth. I wish she could have understood that, but it made her angry and afraid … Of course we know why now, but she was so lonely and lost without Lottie and I didn’t properly recognize it. I just dismissed her feelings and pressed ahead with what I wanted, telling myself it would be all right in the end, that she’d come to terms with everything and maybe even embrace my family when she finally met them. How na?ve and selfish I am.’
Cristy watched her closely, tears of grief and self-recrimination shining in Sadie’s eyes and causing her mouth to quiver.
SADIE: ‘Please don’t think I’m not grateful for everything you’ve done to help me, for giving me this incredible chance to share my story with your hundreds of thousands of listeners around the world. Is it OK to thank them for all the messages of understanding and encouragement they’ve sent my way over the last few weeks? I don’t know how anyone’s going to feel once they know how much my search has cost my aunt. Maybe they’ll think it wasn’t worth it, or they’ll decide that she shouldn’t have held back on me. I still can’t get to grips with how I see it, but I do know that sometimes terrible things happen and it’s only with the benefit of hindsight that we can see how they might have been done differently. You know I’m talking about what they did to my mother now, but please don’t use it.’
She stopped again, and as she dabbed her eyes, Cristy glanced at Connor to see if he was still recording. Receiving a nod, she asked Sadie if she was OK to continue.
SADIE: ‘I think so. I mean, no, but yes … Oh God, it’s all still so mixed up and awful and strange … I keep thinking I should hate her but I don’t. I just feel desperately, desperately sad for her.’
EVIE: (out of shot) ‘Maybe that’s enough for now? She’s been through a terrible ordeal and I’m not sure that reliving it, over and over, is doing her as much good as she seems to think.’
Signalling for Connor to stop recording, Cristy waited for Sadie to look at her through the camera and said, ‘We really appreciate you sharing everything with us the way you have, Sadie. I know it’s been difficult to do and things probably won’t get any easier for quite a while, but I have no doubt you’ll find the strength and courage to embrace your new life with all the integrity and honesty you’ve shown throughout this series.’
Forcing a smile through her tears, Sadie said, ‘I’m going to miss you so much. You’ve been like family these past few weeks … I feel as though I’ve known you for years. I hope we’ll always be in touch.’ She sobbed on a breath. ‘I’m not sure when we’ll speak again, but if you need any more for the series you know where to find me.’
Minutes later, after the screen had gone dark, and the random sounds from outside the office began to fade back in, Cristy looked at the others and wondered if they were all thinking the same as her.