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Cristy was watching Sadie’s face on the computer screen in front of her.

Everyone else in the office was quiet. They were allowing Sadie some time following the reading aloud of her aunt’s latest chapter describing the scene with Edwin Prosser. Even though four days had passed since she’d found it, it was clearly still affecting her deeply. Cristy understood why; knowing her mother’s and uncle’s names had brought a whole new depth to her longing for more knowledge of them – and the scene she’d just created with Lottie’s words, seemed to be proof that her aunts had stolen her.

What Cristy herself was starting to have even more doubts about, was the finding of Sadie on the beach. Could it really have happened the way Lottie described? Having visited the coast path it seemed both possible and yet not, which was why she hadn’t so far taxed Sadie with her concerns.

‘Are you OK?’ she asked Sadie softly.

The girl’s head came up as she took a breath. She was slightly dishevelled and flushed, but her eyes were dry and her voice steady as she said, ‘Yes, I’m fine, it’s just …’ She stopped and started again. ‘After listening to your interviews with the Brinkleys at the weekend, and putting them together with this …’ She held up the pages she’d just read from.

When she didn’t continue, Cristy said, ‘Would you like us to stop recording?’

Sadie shook her head. ‘No, it’s OK. Just a blip. I’ve got myself together now.’

Cristy wasn’t certain she had, but knew it would be easy to stop at any point, and edit out anything Sadie wasn’t comfortable with if necessary. So, noting the time-code, she began again.

CRISTY: ‘It’s clear that this extract, or chapter, has stirred up a lot of emotion for you. Do you mind telling us what about it is resonating so deeply?’

Sadie gave a small, mirthless laugh and tucked her hair behind her ears.

SADIE: ‘I guess it’s a few things … I mean, you can tell from what Lottie’s written that she … that both my aunts were … Actually, it’s Edwin’s words that keep coming back to me. He accused them of living in a different world, playing by different rules … That’s how they were, so now I’m asking myself, was keeping me some kind of a game to them?’

She stared down at the pages again as if they might somehow reveal more from between the lines if she only looked hard enough.

SADIE: ‘Lottie implies that they had different reasons for wanting to hold onto me, but there’s no detail of what the reasons might have been.’

CRISTY: ‘She writes about you with a lot of affection.’

SADIE: ‘Yes, and I don’t doubt that they really did care for me … They’ve proved it over and over ever since … I just wish … I wish they’d tried harder to find my parents, or at least to get to the truth of why I was with them.’

CRISTY: ‘We don’t know for certain yet that they didn’t.’

SADIE: ‘No, I guess not, but the way this latest chapter ends with Lottie having an idea … I think I know what it might have been. She told me once that their father had looked into moving the family to Guernsey. I guess it was for tax purposes, or maybe he knew the island and felt they could be happy here. They didn’t go, or not that I know of, but I’m wondering if Lottie remembered the plan and that’s what gave her the idea to bring us all here. You could say they hid me in plain sight, because they weren’t known on the island, and everyone says it’s the right place to be if you don’t want to be asked too many questions.’

CRISTY: ‘It certainly sounds plausible, especially given the timings, because didn’t they buy the villa sometime in late 2000?’

SADIE: ‘Mid-2001. They rented somewhere in town before the sale went through. Anyway, whatever their motives, or reasons, or secrets, I’m becoming more convinced by the day that these writings are Lottie’s way of laying some sort of trail for me. She tucked random pages into all sorts of places, knowing that in the end I would most likely be the one to go through her papers. Except, why not just tell me what happened? Or at least keep it all together and put it into a safe somewhere for me to read after her death? It feels … cruel of her to do it this way, and she wasn’t that.’

CRISTY: ‘Have you asked Mia about it?’

SADIE: ‘Actually I have. She ended up in tears, and told me I should just burn everything, for my own sake and hers, but most of all for Lottie’s … I pointed out that Lottie wasn’t around any more to care, and anyway she must have wanted me to know everything or she wouldn’t have written it down.’

CRISTY: ‘And Mia said?’

SADIE: ‘That there’s no guarantee it is all written down, and even if it is you can never believe everything Lottie tells you.’

CRISTY: ‘Do you believe it? What you’ve read so far?’

SADIE: ‘Yes, I think so. I mean, I don’t have anything else to go on and at least some of it rings true.’

CRISTY: ‘Have you talked to Mia yet about the photographs you found? Or mentioned that you now know your mother’s and uncle’s names?’

SADIE: ‘I’ve shown her the photographs, and she’s adamant that they’re of a lovely young couple who helped take care of me from time to time when I was small. I pointed out that I look exactly like the woman, but she just patted my hand and said that I can’t make something true just by wanting it to be. I haven’t got round to the names yet, but I will. Although, something I have told her that I know you’ll be interested in … I showed her the results of the DNA test that prove I’m not related to her. And do you know what she said? “It’s not kind of you to make these things up, Sadie, but whatever you do, you are very special to me, and you always will be.”’

Cristy glanced up as Clover let out a sigh of frustration, and Jacks mimed a gun to his head. Understanding how they felt, and knowing how much worse it must be for Sadie, she pressed on.

CRISTY: ‘What about the interviews with Gita and Robert Brinkley? Has she listened to them?’

SADIE: ‘She said she will, but I don’t think she has yet. If it’s OK, I have a question for you now: have you managed to contact Butlin’s to find out if there’s any record of Lukas working there?’

CRISTY: ‘Our researchers are on it, but it’s likely to be a lengthy process, thanks to data protection. Obviously we’ll let you know as soon as there’s some news.’

SADIE: (voice cracking with emotion) ‘Do you think they’re still alive? Robert mentioned trafficking gangs, maybe that’s why no one came back for me. Something happened to them …’

CRISTY: ‘I promise we’re delving into that too.’

There was a lengthy pause as Sadie took this in, imagining only she knew what, but obviously the mention of gangs had thrown a whole new sinister light onto the search, and into her roots.

SADIE: ‘Does it sound crazy to say that since listening to Gita and Robert Brinkley I’ve felt … more lost than ever. Knowing that my mother wasn’t English … Having no idea where she was actually from … It makes me feel like someone who’s grown up living a life that shouldn’t even have happened. And then I start wondering about the child that got left behind, the one whose life, whose world, just stopped one day on a beach. Who would she be today? Where does she belong?

‘Nowhere, of course. She doesn’t belong anywhere, because she isn’t anyone any more. She’s like a pile of dust that just got swept away in a wind; a ghost forever trapped in nothingness.’

Moved by Sadie’s distress and understanding completely her sense of abandonment, Cristy allowed some moments to pass before continuing. However, it was Sadie who spoke first.

SADIE: ‘It’s hard to see how we’re ever going to trace my mother when we don’t even know where she was from. And what about my father? No one ever talks about him, but who was he? Did he play any part in my life at all?’

CRISTY: ‘All very good questions that we’re going to do our best to answer.’

As Sadie’s head went down, Cristy decided she’d been through enough for now and glanced at Connor, a signal to end the recording. This was going to make a very strong episode with Sadie’s emotion and what it meant to her to learn her mother’s name being so prevalent.

‘We’ve stopped,’ she said softly. ‘We can always pick up at another time. Is someone there with you?’

Anna’s face appeared on the screen next to Sadie’s. ‘I am,’ she said, giving a little wave.

Cristy smiled as her heart flipped. Although Anna wasn’t like David in looks, she was his daughter and being reminded of him had taken her unawares. ‘You’re being a very good friend,’ she told her.

‘Do you think,’ Sadie said, ‘that Robert Brinkley would be willing to talk to me? I mean, I’m not expecting him to tell me any more than he’s told you, but the fact that he knew my mother, if only for a short while … It feels, kind of like a link, something to hold onto, if you know what I mean.’

Understanding completely, Cristy said, ‘I’m sure he’ll be more than happy to meet you, in person, or on Zoom. I’ll drop him an email as soon as we’re done here.’ She cast a quick glance around the room in case anyone had anything to add before she let Sadie go. It seemed no one did, so she told Sadie to call her any time, day or night, and promised to be in touch as soon as they had something to report from their end. ‘And please send my love to the rest of the family,’ she said to Anna.

‘Will do. I know they’ll want me to send theirs, so big kiss and come see us soon.’

As Connor ended the connection Cristy suddenly felt unaccountably drained and maybe not as on top of this series as she needed to be. Or perhaps she was just tired after struggling to sleep for the past few nights; even when she had slept her dreams were so tangled and strange, almost frightening at times, that she ended up feeling more exhausted than refreshed when she woke in the mornings. She blamed Matthew – mainly because she blamed him for everything – but there was no denying that she was becoming increasingly unsettled by the scenario of two rich women ‘finding’ a child on a beach. It was a peculiar and incredible story that seemed to be immersing itself deeper and deeper into the kind of sinister portent that the early hours of the morning made a whole lot worse. She kept asking herself, if they’d known at the beginning what they knew now, would they still have got into it?

The answer was yes, of course they would, especially when there was still nothing to say that they were entering into the kind of territory it was best not to tread.

‘Question!’ Iz piped up from her small desk in the corner.

Cristy looked in her direction while the others studiously failed to respond. ‘Shoot,’ Cristy invited.

‘Why do we actually care about Sadie?’ Iz asked boldly.

As everyone stiffened and Connor actually groaned, Cristy tried to gather her thoughts.

‘I’m not saying I don’t,’ Iz hastily jumped in, apparently sensing she’d hit a wrong note, ‘I’m just passing on something that came up at a meeting this morning.’

‘What meeting?’ Connor asked darkly.

‘With my colleagues at SLD and the reps for your sponsors. One of them, from Open Destiny, pointed out that Sadie has had an extremely privileged life. So why does she even want to know about a mother who abandoned her when she still has an aunt who …’ Her words dried up as her eyes grew wary. ‘And so why would we care?’ she finished feebly.

‘They’re not unreasonable questions,’ Cristy put in, before anyone could cut Iz down to an even smaller size than she clearly already felt. ‘And if someone from Open Destiny is asking it then we have to accept that a lot of listeners will too. Wealthy girl bleating about identity, getting a podcast made about her, involving the world in her search … Who is going to care?’

‘Anyone,’ Clover put in hotly, ‘with an ounce of empathy in their soul will want to know why a small child was given up in the way Sadie was. Not to mention what happened to the mother, uncle and father, after the aunts made off with her. It’s not about who Sadie is now, or what she has, it’s about her sense of identity and self, her confusion over nationality and even her culture … Most people will understand that even if they’re not facing the issues themselves. As an adoptee I’ve been through a lot of it. I was out there, not knowing who I was once. So, does that answer your question, Iz?’

Iz was already nodding. ‘I said more or less the same thing,’ she insisted, ‘I just thought I ought to flag it up in case … Well, I suppose in case any of you thought our Open Destiny guy might have a point.’

‘What I want to know,’ Connor said, ‘is why you were even discussing it with them when the first episode doesn’t go live until six this evening. Are you giving them previews, or something? A chance to have a say? Because it was our understanding that they’d have no editorial control.’

‘Oh, it’s not control,’ Iz quickly assured him. ‘It’s simply protocol, a courtesy to loop them in ahead of transmission. Do you call it that for a podcast?’

‘Did they have any other comments, or useful insights we should know about?’ Cristy asked, cutting Connor off.

‘No, that was it, really. I mean, in a negative sense, if we can call it negative, which I don’t think it was, really. More … constructive. Otherwise, they were all intrigued to know more – remember episode one finishes with the mysterious envelope arriving, and I promise I haven’t given anything away.’

Clearly still far from happy, Connor said, ‘You can only keep your desk here if we can trust you, Iz. I get that you’re not actually on our side, you’re working for them, but we’re going to end up in a serious falling-out if you don’t keep us informed about your meetings.’

‘And from now on I will,’ she promised, looking more like an overanxious child than a highly successful PR exec with each word she uttered. Maybe this was her superpower, Cristy reflected: always appear vulnerable and make the other person feel they’re in the right even if they weren’t. It could be a winning technique.

‘OK, I think we’ve gone far enough with that,’ she said, stepping in. ‘Everyone will start arriving soon to celebrate the first drop, so let’s do a quick talk through the recent chapter. Has it thrown anything up for anyone, I mean apart from the obvious?’

After hitting a few keys to change his screen, Jacks said, ‘Edwin Prosser. I’ve managed to get an email address for him now. No idea if it’s still current, but I haven’t had a bounce back yet, and it’s Hotmail UK, so he could still be in the country.’ He glanced up, saw he still had his audience and moved on. ‘As you know, I’ve made contact with Butlin’s head office about Lukas and a very helpful-sounding person in HR said she’d get back to me, hopefully sometime this week. It could be no more than a polite brush-off, but she didn’t mention data protection, at least not yet, so if I don’t hear anything I’ll definitely try again.’

With a nod of approval, Cristy said, ‘Clove, where are you at with your enquiries?’

‘OK, so I recorded a video chat with Frank Fox yesterday, the bloke who works for the landowner whose ownership of half of Somerset includes the hilltop house rented by the sisters. Mr Fox is not your archetypal land agent, as you’ll see when you watch: all mullet and machismo with a healthy love of himself, kind of sets the picture. Unsurprisingly, he was still a schoolboy in 2000, but before our hook-up he’d very obligingly checked with his predecessor who apparently remembers the sisters, but only because they came for such a short time before taking off again at short notice with the whole summer paid for. He knew nothing about a child, or where the sisters went after they left the house, and a delve into the files didn’t turn up anything useful. So, not much more to be achieved there.

‘On a more positive note, I’m on the verge of making contact with a retired Avon and Somerset detective who was with the force working out of Taunton back in the late Nineties, early 2000s. I’m told she was involved in undercover ops in west Somerset, gang related, so yes, it was happening at the time Janina and Lukas were around. I’ve also dug out a few local press articles that are relevant. Currently, I’m ploughing my way through an organized crime report from the Council of Europe dated 2001. It’s possible there was some sort of covert activity going on in the area that not even the locals knew anything about.’

‘Great,’ Cristy responded approvingly. ‘Everything’s worth exploring even if we end up down a blind alley. You never know which one will break us into a new light. Now, I’d better send an email to Robert Brinkley about Sadie, while the rest of you get ready for the drinks. Who’s coming, by the way?’

‘All the usual suspects,’ Connor answered, ‘Meena, Harry, Jodi – this will be Aurora’s first grown-up drinks gig.’

As everyone oooh-ed their appreciation Cristy noticed Iz’s hesitant smile and said, ‘Iz, I take it you’re staying to mark the occasion of the first episode dropping with us?’

Starting with surprise, Iz said, eagerly, ‘If I’m invited. I’d love to be here. Who’s Aurora, if you don’t mind me asking?’

‘Connor’s six-week-old daughter,’ Cristy replied.

Iz practically melted. ‘I love babies,’ she swooned. To Connor she said, ‘If I’m nice to her, which obviously I will be, do you think you might like me a bit better?’

Cristy had to laugh as Connor, clearly thrown, failed to find words to respond.

‘He will,’ Cristy promised, realizing she was warming to Iz in spite of her being a royal pain in the arse, ‘and we’ll all really love you if you can pop out to get the champagne.’

Iz shot to her feet. ‘On it,’ she declared. ‘Just tell me where to go.’

‘So tempting,’ Jacks muttered under his breath.

Stifling a laugh, Cristy said, ‘Clove will come along to help you carry it.’

‘I will?’ Clove cried.

‘She can’t carry a dozen bottles on her own,’ Cristy pointed out.

‘A dozen!’ Iz exclaimed, as everyone blinked.

‘It’ll save us going out again next week,’ Cristy explained. ‘Actually, let’s put in an order for six bottles to be delivered every Tuesday.’

‘You have a party every week?’ Iz cried in amazement. They all turned to her and she quickly added, ‘Wow! I’ve clearly come to the right place.’ Then, ‘And obvs all drinks will be on me!’

*

It was after nine by the time Cristy arrived home that night, slightly tipsy, very tired, but at the same time quite agitated. She wasn’t entirely sure what was getting to her, maybe it was the relief – and nerves – of a first episode now being out there in the big wide world and all it was likely to bring from hereon in. Perhaps it was the way Lottie’s story was hitting so many wrong notes for her, while still managing to ring with truth – how could that be possible? More likely – at least easier to reach for – was the fact that Matthew had invited himself and Aiden to the party.

‘What the heck are you doing here?’ she’d demanded as they’d breezed in through the door, bringing bottles of wine and beer like they were students on a gatecrash.

‘Great to see you too,’ Aiden had grinned in his impossibly winning way, and of course she was pleased to see him .

‘We were just passing,’ Matthew explained, lying badly.

‘Have some champagne,’ Meena insisted, filling two glasses and handing them over, while Harry shook Matthew warmly by the hand and Iz just had to tell him what a big fan she was, and how honoured she felt to meet him.

Of course he’d settled in as comfortably as if he came to the drop of every episode – even though he’d never actually been to one before – and of course everyone had been their usual friendly selves, even baby Aurora who’d gazed at him adoringly for a full five minutes.

Quite what this had done to him, given his own recently born child was nearly six thousand miles away with a totally mazed mother, Cristy had no idea. However, she did know that her failure to reply to Marley’s email was starting to weigh on her.

‘She’d like to hear from you,’ Matthew had said quietly, before he and Aiden had left, ‘but you shouldn’t feel as though you have to have a relationship with her. I mean, obviously great if you did, it would make life a lot easier for us all considering how besotted she seems with you, but I understand you have your own life to lead.’ It wasn’t a long pause before he added, ‘Aiden tells me you’re not seeing the Guernsey guy any more.’

‘His name’s David,’ she’d snapped, ‘and if you think that changes anything between us – you and me – then you need to book in for a head-check.’

Quite why the conversation had rattled her so much, she couldn’t say now, although obviously she hadn’t enjoyed being reminded by him that her first relationship since their break-up had fallen apart so fast.

And then there was Anna’s call during her walk home.

‘Haven’t listened to the pod yet,’ Anna had confessed, ‘just wanted to let you know that Sadie’s biggest fear at the moment is that she’s going find out she’s the child of a gangster or a rapist and that’s why Janina gave her up. Maybe Janina reached a point where she couldn’t bear to have the awful reminder around her any more.’

Understanding Sadie’s concerns, for how could she not when that very scenario, and worse, had occurred to her, Cristy said, ‘Please don’t tell me she wants to pull out …’

‘No, no, that’s not why I’m calling. It’s simply to let you know what’s in her mind because she couldn’t bring herself to say it during the interview earlier. If it turns out she’s right, she’ll deal with it, she’s just glad she’s not going through it alone.’

‘Having you is clearly meaning a great deal to her, especially with her aunt being so difficult, but it’s not easy to support someone through trauma …’

‘I can handle it. And anyway, she’s not only talking about me, she means you and everyone else on your team, and even your listeners – provided they don’t turn on her, I suppose, but I can’t see why they would. She says she’d probably feel like she was disappearing down a rabbit hole otherwise, and I think even Jasper’s a bit overwhelmed by it all.’

Wondering now if they were already down the rabbit hole anyway – it was certainly where she felt she was heading in a personal sense – Cristy slumped down on the sofa and checked her phone. Within an hour of the pod being dropped the feedback had begun, plenty echoing the question Iz had posed earlier: why should they care about a rich kid who hadn’t known a day’s hardship in her life? Others were demanding to know where the crime was, or accusing Hindsight of failing to live up to all the publicity. And of course there were those who’d engaged fully with the story and were already hoping Cristy and the team could help Sadie find the answers she deserved.

As usual Clove and Jacks were going through everything carefully in case someone with vital, or even useful, information was in touch. It wasn’t always easy to tell as some trolls and many nutters were extremely clever, and nothing had come through yet to warrant any further action. Still very early days. Many weeks, or even months, could go by before the podcast found its way to the right person.

Would that be Janina? Or Lukas? It was hard to imagine, almost impossible in fact after all these years, but with no reason to rule it out Cristy wasn’t going to.

Starting as her phone vibrated, she looked down half-expecting it to be Matthew, but it was a text from Robert Brinkley.

Great first episode. Hope you’re happy with it. (Am I right in thinking the Brinkley interview runs next week?) Only just picked up your email, and no problem about speaking to Sadie. Do you want to record it? Or will it be a private chat? Happy either way. Please feel free to pass on my details. Best, Robert.

Wondering if it would be a good idea to record him and Sadie when they met, Cristy got up to put on the kettle. Another glass of wine might be more welcome, but she’d had enough earlier, any more would end up making her maudlin – as if she wasn’t already.

Replying to Marley was going to do nothing to cheer her up, but unfortunately it had to be done, so she might as well get on with it.

She’d got no further than Dear Marley, I’m sorry not to have been in touch sooner , when her laptop’s FaceTime app burbled into life. Seeing who it was she immediately clicked on. ‘Mia,’ she said, as the connection focused, ‘this is a surprise. How are you?’

Mia’s face was slightly averted, as though she didn’t really want to engage, but she surely wouldn’t be calling if she didn’t have something to say. And on a video link too. ‘I’m very well, thank you,’ she said, her voice a little clipped, though not entirely unfriendly. ‘I thought it was about time we spoke before things start to get out of hand.’

Wishing she was recording this, Cristy said, ‘Out of hand in what way?’

‘This … nonsense Sadie is feeding you. It really can’t go on.’

‘Why do you say it’s nonsense?’

‘Because it is. If you’d known my sister, if you knew Sadie …’ She sighed irritably, seemed to reset and said, ‘My niece has had issues for most of her life … Of course we’ve always got her the best help, done everything to make her feel as special as she is. I thought we were getting somewhere, but now, with all of this … It must be some sort of delayed shock following Lottie’s death. They were very close and Sadie misses her terribly … We both do …’

When she didn’t continue, Cristy said carefully, ‘I take it you’ve listened to the first episode?’

‘Yes, of course. Very well done, and a gripping tale, if any of it were true.’

‘So there was no child on a beach? No hooded person running away? No mysterious envelope coming through the door?’

Mia’s mouth tightened.

‘I believe you’ve seen what Lottie wrote …’

‘How do you know it was Lottie? And did it not occur to you that Sadie herself might have put the photographs into a box to present them as something … they aren’t?’

‘So you’re saying that the young couple featured in them, with Sadie, are not related to her?’

‘As I told Sadie when she showed them to me, they were very nice people who babysat her from time to time, during our first year here, in Guernsey. They left even before we moved into this house and we never kept in touch.’

Cristy didn’t want to call her a liar, so instead she said, ‘OK, I could perhaps be persuaded of that if the young woman didn’t look so much like Sadie, and if I hadn’t interviewed Gita Brinkley and her son, Robert. I showed him the photos and he remembers seeing the couple, in Minehead, at the time Sadie came to live with you on Exmoor. He’s even named them.’

Mia’s face seemed to twitch; her hands bunched tightly together. ‘I’ve no idea what Gita Brinkley and her son have told you,’ she retorted sharply, ‘but all you’re doing, all of you, is feeding into Sadie’s fantasy of having a mother, or father, who could be out there somewhere wanting to know her. I can assure you that she does not need to know them, and nor should she be encouraged in this quest for information that will only end up causing her a lot more harm than good.’

Taking it carefully, Cristy said, ‘That sounds as though you’re admitting your brother was not her father …’

‘We told her that because it was easier and it would have stayed that way if she hadn’t suddenly decided to question it. Since finding out she’s not related to us by blood she’s cast us variously as villains, fairy godmothers, crazy people, glamorous benefactors, whatever comes into her head on any given day. I ask you, please don’t let her draw you any further into her illusory world. As I’ve already said, it won’t end well, especially not for her.’

‘But you’re clearly hiding information about her parents that she surely has a right to know.’

‘That is your understanding of things, no one else’s. I have spent many years protecting my niece, and believe you me, I won’t stop now.’

‘But what does she need protecting from?’

‘If you value your reputation, Ms Ward, and I’m sure you do, then ask yourself this: how is it possible that these extracts, supposedly written by Lottie and randomly hidden amongst Lottie’s papers – how is Sadie managing to find them in the correct order? Isn’t that what’s happening?’

Cristy felt a beat of unease. It was true, they were coming up in a kind of linear way, although she had no idea if any further extracts were missing from what they had so far.

‘Sadie is writing them herself,’ Mia repeated, tartly. ‘Now, I’ll leave you to the rest of your evening and I hope all this digging about in a fabricated past will soon be at an end.’