Page 30

After an afternoon spent sharing memories of the small girl who’d once ruled Gabe and Lukas’s world, David and Jasper brought in cocktails and Cynthia insisted everyone must stay for dinner. It turned into a lively affair with Gabe seeming as bemused as he did joyful, while everyone else indulged in a little too much wine and Sadie kept breaking into tears of relief and laughter.

The next morning, Cristy couldn’t recall whose idea it had been to visit the place where Janina’s car had left the road, only that it was David who’d contacted the police to find out the exact spot. When he’d received a call back the decision was made. It would happen this morning and act as a final farewell to Janina, someone had said, a memorial of sorts. Though the sentiment behind it was touching, by the time Cristy and David got up she wasn’t feeling quite so sure about it. However, she didn’t want to be the one to cast a shadow over the occasion by voicing doubts that she couldn’t explain anyway, so she pushed past them and texted a yes to Connor when he messaged to ask if he should book their flights back to Bristol later that day.

Without actually meaning to she checked to see if there were any more anonymous texts, and thank God, there weren’t. The latest had arrived last night and she’d already moved it to the folder. He’ll promise you the earth and end up letting you down. I will never do that. She wondered if these missives were more responsible for unsettling her than what was happening here, then pushed them out of her mind too.

‘So you’re going home later?’ David said, as he came into the bedroom to find her packing.

As she looked at him, standing in the misty rays of sunlight streaming through the windows, her heart swelled with feeling. ‘I have to,’ she smiled, ‘but I’m not looking forward to leaving you.’

Taking her hand he pulled her to him and gazed searchingly into her eyes. ‘Will you come back?’ he asked, almost as if seeming to doubt it.

‘Of course,’ she whispered.

‘When?’

She laughed and murmured softly as he kissed her.

‘Maybe we should go away somewhere, just the two of us,’ he suggested. ‘I mean, when the series is finished.’

‘I’d love that. Where are you thinking?’

‘Somewhere warm and exotic, exclusive and … How about one of the Aman resorts?’

Her eyes widened in surprise. Though she’d never visited one she knew very well how luxurious and insanely expensive they were.

‘Give it some thought,’ he said, ‘and let me know when you’re ready for me to book. Or we can go somewhere else. Whatever works for you.’

He’ll promise you the earth and end up letting you down. I will never do that.

‘What?’ he said, frowning.

Cristy shook her head, annoyed that the text had managed to push into her thoughts now. ‘I hear the one in Morocco is exceptional,’ she said.

‘Amanjena,’ he murmured. ‘Have you been there?’

‘I haven’t.’

‘Me neither. So maybe that’s where we’ll go.’ His eyes rose to his hand as he ran it over her hair, and lowered back to hers as he said, ‘I’ve loved spending the last week with you. I admit, when I flew over last Saturday I hadn’t realized it would be quite so … hectic, or that we’d end up in Florida for forty-eight hours, but I’ve enjoyed the madness of it, and the experience of watching you work. I even got a kick out of being a small part of it.’

‘Not so small,’ she corrected. ‘I might even say we couldn’t have done it without you.’

He laughed. ‘I’ll take that, even though it’s not true.’

‘ Dad! ’

He groaned. ‘Yes, we definitely need some time for us,’ he said, and after kissing her again he picked up her bag to carry it down to the car.

‘Have you heard from Sadie this morning?’ Cristy asked, as Anna caught up with them on the stairs.

‘Yes. She’s already at the hotel with Gabe and the others. Apparently she went to see Mia first thing.’

Surprised and concerned, Cristy said, ‘What happened?’

‘Mia wouldn’t let her in again, although she told her, through the door, that if she wants to be an “ungrateful bitch” – her words – and go off with strangers it’s her choice, she won’t stop her. But if she does she’ll be out of the will.’

‘Is she actually in it?’ David asked wryly.

Anna shrugged. ‘I think she’s supposed to inherit everything when Mia goes, but as we know, nothing Mia says is to be trusted, and she’s used her will for years to control everyone around her. Anyway, I don’t think Sadie cares. It’s not about money for her.’

‘What was she hoping to gain from going down there?’ Connor asked, coming out of the kitchen with a coffee and his holdall. ‘After what she was accused of yesterday, why would she want any more to do with her aunt?’

Following Connor into the hall, David’s mother said, ‘Whatever we might think of that, Mia’s clearly in the throes of some sort of breakdown, and Sadie will know that better than anyone. I grant you, finding out her aunts were involved in what happened to her mother will have changed things considerably for her, and will continue to as the reality of it sinks in further. Nevertheless, the Sadie I know isn’t capable of simply turning her back on her aunt, especially when she’s found so much happiness for herself.’

‘You surely don’t think she’ll stay with Mia?’ Connor said doubtfully.

Cynthia shook her head. ‘I don’t see how she can now, but she’ll know already that if she decides to join her father in the States, it’ll be really hard for Mia to cope with losing her.’

Dismally, Anna said, ‘I want everything to work out for Sades, obvs, but I’ll really miss her if she leaves. Trouble is, this island doesn’t hold so many good memories for her now, and whatever you say, Granny, I can’t see her ever being able to actually forgive what Lottie and Mia did to her mother.’

Knowing she wouldn’t be able to if it were her, Cristy said, ‘There’s also Jasper. Would she leave him?’

Anna considered it. ‘I reckon he’d go with her to the States. He doesn’t always show it, but he’s as besotted with her as Dad is with you.’

Startled into laughter, Cristy turned to David as he said, drolly, ‘They’re pretty serious then.’

‘Is the right answer,’ Anna told him, with a playful nudge. ‘Now, come on, or we’re going to be late and I don’t want to miss this.’

‘What about your mother?’ Cristy asked David, as they started out to the cars.

‘She’s going to stay here with Rosie and Laurent,’ he replied, dropping her bag into the boot of Connor’s rented Captur. ‘I’ll take Anna in the Smart.’

‘Give me a minute,’ Cristy said, and running back inside she found Cynthia in the kitchen with Rosie, no sign of Laurent. ‘I’ve come to say goodbye,’ she said, hugging Cynthia first, then Rosie. ‘Thanks for taking such great care of us – me and Connor. Any more of it and we’ll be moving in.’

Laughing, Cynthia said, ‘You’re always welcome, you know that, and I’m glad you and David have sorted things out.’

‘Me too,’ Rosie told her, holding onto the dog. ‘Dad was really grumpy when he thought you wouldn’t be coming back. Now he’s all smiley and happy like he’s got sweets in his pockets and wind in his sails.’

Adoring her, Cristy pulled her in for another hug, saying, ‘Good luck with the new boyfriend, and the new play, and don’t forget to stay in touch. I love getting your emails.’

Beaming, Rosie watched her go while Cynthia said quietly, ‘Something’s not sitting right with her, I can feel it.’

‘What did you say, Granny?’ Rosie asked.

Cynthia smiled, ‘Nothing for you to worry about, my angel, now, let’s get you ready for rehearsals.’

*

CRISTY: ‘We’ve just left the Fermain Valley Hotel where Sadie’s father and uncle are staying, Evie too of course, and we’re heading for the south east coast. There are three cars in our small convoy, with no one going very fast, staying within the island’s speed limit of thirty-five miles an hour. The sun was shining gloriously earlier, making it the perfect sort of day for Sadie’s farewell to her mother – if such a day can be perfect, and of course it can’t. Clouds came rolling in about fifteen minutes ago though, and the wind is starting to pick up, let’s just hope it doesn’t rain.

‘I can’t help wondering how Sadie’s feeling right now …’

To Connor Cristy said, ‘We should have put a mic on her and tried to talk to her on the way.’

‘It wouldn’t have worked,’ he told her. ‘Too many trees to break the signal and look at the size of those boulders.’

Accepting that some were indeed almost mountainous, she continued.

CRISTY: ‘This is a journey Sadie might well have done countless times over the years, but it must be feeling very different today, knowing where she’s going and why. It won’t be easy for her father either, or her uncle, but hopefully all three of them will be able to take comfort from the fact that they’re together for this last goodbye.’

CONNOR: ‘We’re starting to catch our first glimpses of the sea through a heavily wooded hillside, sparkling and grey-blue, with the island of Sark on a close horizon …’

He broke off suddenly, narrowly missing a protruding rock as they rounded a bend.

CONNOR: ‘The going is a bit hairy in places, definitely not for the faint-hearted, but thankfully there’s not much traffic around so we’re not having to stop to let someone pass. Let’s hope it stays that way. Being a Sunday there’s a chance it will, but I’ve got to tell you, it’s starting to feel as though we’re heading into some sort of nether world … If I could explain what I mean by that I would. How about you, Cristy, how’s this working out for you?’

CRISTY: ‘I agree there’s an odd sort of feel to this road … Maybe because we know what happened towards the end of it …’

CONNOR: ‘How far do you reckon we are from the villa?’

CRISTY: ‘As the crow flies probably three or four miles.’

‘I think I need to remind everyone that Janina was headed for Sark View House that day, a) to avoid confusion and b) to reemphasize the fact that she was directed to a place no one seems to have heard of before – or since.’

‘Go for it.’

Once done, Cristy continued.

CRISTY: ‘We’ll hopefully see when we get there why that particular location was chosen, but I think we can assume it’s going to be precipitous and remote.’

CONNOR: ‘So what do you reckon Mia might be doing right now? Does she know what Sadie’s doing this morning?’

CRISTY: ‘I’ve no idea if Sadie told her, we can ask when we stop. As for what Mia’s doing … The woman is such an enigma, and not entirely sane. (We’ll never get away with that, but hey, what else am I supposed to say?) I wonder why she wouldn’t let Sadie into the villa this morning?’

CONNOR: ‘Maybe because she smashed the place up the last time she was there?’

CRISTY: ‘Point taken. I wonder if Mia realizes that she could be facing a full-on police investigation into what happened to Janina? If it happens, and I can’t see how it can be avoided if we can get the injunction lifted, the scandal, the loss of her reputation and even her freedom … Unless Sadie and Gabe decide they don’t want revenge and keep the injunction in place. Making Mia pay won’t bring Janina back, will it? And it’ll probably only prolong the trauma of it all for Sadie.’

CONNOR: ‘So you think Mia and Lottie should be allowed to get away with it?’

CRISTY: ‘Not that they should , but I think there’s a good chance they will.’

CONNOR: ‘If that happens we’re screwed for a proper end to the series. How the fuck have we managed to walk into that?’

CRISTY: ‘Hang on, they’re pulling over … Are we still recording?’

CONNOR: ‘We are.’

CRISTY: ‘We’re coming to a stop on a scrubby patch of land – I’m guessing the road must have been rerouted sometime in the last twenty years. It runs along the back of this lookout area now, a good fifty metres from the cliff edge. There are picnic benches here, and public loos … Safety barriers and danger warnings all over the place, and the view of the other islands … Jersey in the distance, Herm and Sark nearby, would be spectacular, I’m sure, on a less grey day.’

As Cristy stepped out of the car she quickly grabbed the door as a sharp gust unsteadied her. She trapped her hair under a hat as she looked around, feeling the vulnerability of their smallness in the massive might of the landscape. She saw David and Anna battling the wind to get to where Sadie and Gabe were already standing as close to the cliff edge as the barriers would allow. Lukas and Evie joined them, huddled into their coats, and moments later Cristy and Connor were there too.

‘Hell, I had no idea it was going to be so high, or so bleak up here,’ Cristy murmured to Connor, feeling the terrifying thrill of it going up and down her spine. She was recalling what Lottie had written in her journal, that it simply wasn’t possible for someone to survive such a fall, and she could only concur. It really wasn’t. There was nothing to break the plunge, no way of avoiding the deadly rocks at the bottom or the gushing tide. She turned to look along the rugged coastline, searching for a spot where Mia, or maybe Lottie, possibly both, might have lain in wait, but none was evident. Too much would have changed since. Nevertheless, she could almost feel the horror of that morning when Janina came into view … She must have seen a car heading straight at her, would have braked with all her might, desperate to steer away from the cliff edge. She’d have known she couldn’t make it, would probably have screamed, or prayed, or maybe covered her face as the car flew into the air, and dropped more than a hundred feet onto the rocks below.

It was sickening, heartrending, even now.

She turned back and saw that Evie was holding Sadie in a comforting embrace, while next to them Gabe and Lukas were staring down at the churning, angry waves, the brutal shoreline that had smashed Janina’s car apart before the tide had carried her body away.

Aware of Connor unpacking his holdall, Cristy pointed towards a sprawling bungalow set back in the trees. ‘I wonder if that’s Sark View House,’ she shouted over the wind. ‘Do we need to find out if the sisters ever did own it?’

Apparently not hearing, Connor said, ‘I’ve got the mics ready, but God knows how much we’ll be able to pick up in this gale.’

Feeling David’s arm going around her Cristy watched Connor fix lapel mics to Sadie, Gabe and Lukas, and wondered again if they should really be recording such an intensely private moment.

‘It’s what they all want,’ Anna reminded her when she voiced her concern. The wind had miraculously dropped, at least for now, allowing them to communicate without having to shout. ‘It’s honouring Janina,’ Anna continued, ‘letting everyone know that she was loved and is still missed.’ She looked at her friend and added, ‘Janina mattered, even if the world carried on as though she didn’t. This is Sadie’s way of making amends for that, and you’re helping her to do it.’

Admiring Anna’s loyalty and support, Cristy turned to David and smiled into his eyes. She couldn’t be sure where her feelings of apprehension were coming from, only that they were back, as though her instincts were trying to warn her of something – and then, mercifully, they were gone again.

Connor came to give her an earpiece and, as he clamped a headset over his own ears, Evie walked over to join them. This simple farewell was all about Sadie, Gabe and Lukas, the only ones who’d actually known Janina, and loved her still.

Cristy watched their silhouettes in a sudden blaze of sunlight that broke through the clouds, Sadie between her father and uncle, their arms around her and hands on one another’s shoulders. Sadie started to speak, Cristy could hear in her earpiece and knew it was a prayer, but the connection kept dropping.

‘… God bless … be with us … love you …’

Gabe said, ‘… I tried to find you, my darling … I never … up hope … Sasha and me, we found one another …’

Lukas said, ‘… love and take care of her …’

Sadie said, ‘ Ilsekis ramybeje, mamyte .’ Cristy knew this meant Rest quietly, Mummy , because Lukas had already told her .

‘ Do you feel she’s here?’ Sadie asked. ‘I think … watching us?’ Her head tilted back and as she gazed up at the turbulent sky Cristy heard her say, ‘… beautiful scent. Can you smell it? What is it?’

Gabe and Lukas shook their heads, but as the wind picked up again, Cristy caught the gentle fragrance as it passed by like a ribbon on the breeze, there and then gone. Peonies, but sweeter and more pungent. The scent of a mother, that could maybe only be recognized by a daughter.

*

Much later in the day, following a lunch at the hotel where they’d toasted Janina and the future for those who loved her, Cristy and Connor were at the airport waiting to board their flight.

‘Are you OK?’ he asked, bringing her a coffee. ‘You’ve seemed … kind of edgy these past couple of days. Don’t worry, I’m sure no one else noticed … Everything fine with David?’

She smiled and took the mug. ‘Everything’s great there,’ she assured him. ‘I just keep getting this … feeling , like a dread …? Is that the word I’m looking for?’ She shook her head exasperatedly. ‘I don’t know what it is and it’s not helped by the fact that some bloody stalker keeps sending me messages.’

Connor shot her a look.

‘OK, nothing new there,’ she said, ‘we get them all the time, but these are … Actually, they’re creeping me out a bit.’

‘Can I see them?’

Opening up the folder she’d moved them to, she was about to hand her phone over when it rang. Seeing it was Matthew a pang of guilt hit her as she realized she’d forgotten to call him back. ‘Hi,’ she said, ‘I’m sorry—’

‘Have you seen it?’ he snapped.

‘Seen what?’

‘The email I forwarded yesterday morning. Jesus Christ, Cristy, what’s wrong with you? I told you I needed to speak to you, but apparently we all stop existing when you’re with him …’

‘I’ve been busy, working,’ she interrupted.

‘Where are you now?’

‘At the airport on my way back.’

‘Good. Read the email and I’ll see you when you get here.’

As soon as he rang off she called up her emails. Opening the one he’d forwarded she took it in quickly and felt her heart starting to freeze. ‘No!’ she muttered, trying not to panic. ‘No! No! No!’

‘What?’ Connor demanded. ‘What the f …?’

She passed him the phone, and watched his face slacken with shock as he read the few lines Matthew had sent.

‘ Shit ,’ he swore under his breath. ‘Holy fuck!’ His eyes went to Cristy’s. ‘Is this for real?’

‘It must be, he wouldn’t have sent it otherwise.’ Taking the phone back she sent a quick return message telling Matthew she’d text as soon as she landed and that he should meet her at the flat. And bring Aiden , she added before pressing send. Dropping her head in her hands she tried to work out if this was what the strange prescience had been all about. Nothing to do with the stalker, or Sadie, or anything other than some sort of mother’s intuition working away on its own agenda waiting to be recognized.

*

Three hours later, feeling as though she’d stepped through some sort of looking glass very darkly, Cristy stood in her kitchen with hands on her hips, eyes blazing, as she glared at Aiden.

‘What the hell were you thinking?’ she shouted. ‘How did you …? Jesus Christ, I can’t believe you’d be this fucking stupid.’

‘Chill, Mum,’ he urged, ‘there’s no need to swear, it’s going to be OK!’

‘How the hell is it going to be that?’ she raged, almost wanting to hit him. How could he sit there looking so unfazed by the fact that his life was never going to be the same again? ‘According to this message you are the father of the child this girl is carrying,’ she cried furiously, having to spell it out to try to make herself believe it, as if she wanted to, when obviously she didn’t.

‘Yeah, but …’

‘You’re sixteen, Aiden. Sixteen! And who the hell is she, for God’s sake?’

‘Her name’s Pearl …’

‘Yes, I can see that at the end of the message, but why is she sending emails to your father telling him what’s going on when you should have told us this yourself?’

‘Well, I kind of guessed you’d go off on one, and there’s this …’

‘This what? Baby? Is that the word you’re looking for?’

‘It wasn’t, but hey …’ He glanced at his father who was listening quietly, seeming to have nothing to say.

‘For God’s sake,’ Cristy shouted. ‘What’s the matter with you two? First you,’ she shot at Matthew, ‘and now you …’

‘Hey, hey!’ Matthew interrupted. ‘For the record, I’m married and I was not under age when …’

‘Is she ?’ Cristy raged at Aiden as a whole world of other horrors suddenly rose up from the chaos.

‘Is she what?’ he asked.

‘Under age?’

He screwed up his nose as he thought. ‘I think she was sixteen a couple of weeks ago, so technically not any more.’

‘But she was when you … Oh for God’s sake, I don’t even know what to call it.’

‘Shagged?’ he offered helpfully.

Certain Matthew smirked, she rounded on him again. ‘So this is the kind of parent you are, allowing your son, who’s only fifteen …’

‘Sixteen now,’ Aiden reminded her.

‘But fifteen when the child was conceived, if this girl is six months along.’

‘No, sixteen,’ he insisted. ‘It happened last August.’

Finding herself dumbfounded she turned back to Matthew. ‘Have you been allowing him to sleep with girls in your house?’ she demanded. ‘Knowing you, you encouraged it …’

‘Hang on, hang on,’ Matthew objected. ‘I’m every bit as furious with him as you are, so I’m not the one you should be attacking here.’

‘He’s your son …’

‘And yours. Maybe they got it together here, in this flat?’

Cristy glared at Aiden. ‘Did you?’ she demanded, desperately shutting out the image of it.

He shrugged. ‘Maybe, once or twice, but it was no big deal …’

‘ No big deal? ’ she echoed incredulously. How the hell was she supposed to get through to him, when nothing ever seemed to faze him, not even the fact he could be guilty of statutory rape, and facing at least eighteen years of child maintenance, not to mention a lifetime of fatherhood, when he wasn’t even an adult yet? ‘Did it not occur to you to use a condom?’ she demanded. Talk about horses and stable doors!

He grimaced. ‘I kind of thought I did …’

‘How can you not know ?’ He was beyond belief.

‘Well it happened a few times,’ he said, ‘and maybe for one of them I just kind of forgot, or ran out …’

Not sure if Matthew was laughing again, she turned her wrath back on him, still wanting to blame him in spite of knowing it wouldn’t make a blind bit of difference to anything. ‘Have you met this girl?’ she demanded.

He held up his hands defensively. ‘The first I heard of her was when I got the email,’ he assured her. ‘I rang you straight off and you …’ He stopped as her eyes narrowed – if he tried to blame her … ‘And now we are where we are,’ he finished lamely.

Aiden was texting.

‘Put that damned thing down,’ Cristy snapped at him.

Letting it drop into his lap he regarded her innocently.

‘So who is she?’ she asked. ‘Are you still seeing her?’

He shrugged. ‘You already know her name’s Pearl. She joined our year when we started sixth form, and yeah, I still see her around, at school, obvs, and hanging out here and there …’

‘So she’s not actually your girlfriend?’ Was that better or worse? Cristy had no idea.

‘We saw each other a few times, but it was never, like, official. ’

‘Well you obviously had sex with her, so what exactly does make it official ?’

‘It’s just a decision you come to after a few dates, or maybe longer than that, and then you tell everyone else when you feel ready.’

Her eyes widened again. ‘And does imminent fatherhood make you feel ready ?’ she asked scathingly.

Shrugging again, Aiden said, ‘It’s not an issue. We both agreed we didn’t want it to be serious.’

‘But now she’s pregnant and apparently thinks it’s serious enough to send an email to Dad … Did she tell you she was going to do that?’

‘Never mentioned a word. I didn’t even know myself – about the baby thing – until a couple of weeks ago …’

The baby thing? What kind of son had she raised? ‘And you didn’t mention it when you found out, because?’

‘I guess, because I wasn’t the only one she was getting it on with last August. There was Tim Watts and Dylan Fullbright …’

Seizing the lifeline, Cristy said, ‘So there’s a chance one of them could be the father?’

‘Who knows? I haven’t asked. Maybe there’s not even really a baby. Girls make this stuff up all the time.’

‘Well, this one has had a scan because she attached it to the email, so I think we can assume there is a child.’ To Matthew she said, ‘You need to talk to her parents.’

‘Me?’ he protested. ‘How about we talk to her parents?’

‘You better check first that she’s told them,’ Aiden advised. ‘If they don’t already know it’ll be a helluva way to find out, you and Dad turning up on their doorstep all reach for your guns …’

Cristy almost laughed, out of hysteria more than humour. ‘What matters here is that we establish whether or not the child’s yours,’ she declared, knowing she had to calm down, but seeming unable to. ‘Is she the kind of person who’d say it was, even if she wasn’t sure?’

‘I don’t really know her that well.’

She stared at him. This was turning into a farce and if Matthew laughed again she might just swing for him. ‘Why aren’t you taking this seriously?’ she shouted at him. ‘You surely can’t think it’s something we can just brush under the carpet and pretend isn’t happening?’

‘I am taking it seriously,’ he insisted, ‘but you’re right, there are a few steps to go through before we start getting excited …’

‘ Excited? ’

‘Sorry, wrong choice of word. I should have said … something else. Anyway, I’m with you that we need to find out if Aiden’s really the father. As that’s going to involve a DNA test we need to make sure she’s on board for it. If she isn’t, well then she won’t have any claim on him, will she?’

‘Which doesn’t exactly put him in the clear, and I for one want a definitive answer. So, this is what we’re going to do … You, Aiden, will contact her tonight to ask for the test, and you, Matthew, will reply to her email telling her that’s what we’re doing. Unless, of course, she’s ready to admit there is no baby and the scan is just something she downloaded for … I don’t know, a bit of fun? Would she do that?’ Really grasping at straws now.

Aiden regarded her thoughtfully. ‘I guess, she might,’ he said. ‘I mean, I’m not saying she did, but …’

‘Stop! Just stop,’ Cristy cried, holding up a hand, and she turned to the fridge to snatch out a bottle of wine.

‘I’ll have one of those,’ Matthew told her as she filled a glass. ‘And you, Aiden …’

‘Yeah, sure,’ he said readily.

‘I’m not offering you a drink,’ Matthew said, ‘I’m telling you to get going on the contact Mum’s just suggested. With any luck, once this girl knows we’re getting into the science, she’ll come clean and admit it’s some sort of prank.’

Prank. Oh please God let it be that.

As Aiden slouched off to his room, already texting someone, Cristy took her glass to the sofa and slumped down wearily. She could hardly believe that this, and the farewell to Janina, were happening in the same day, but they were and as disorientating as it felt maybe it was also grounding in its way. She’d become far too caught up in Sadie’s story, was perhaps too focused on David as well, when what she ought to have been doing was putting a lot more effort into making sure her son didn’t go off the rails. He had so much potential for it that the only surprise was that something like this, or worse, hadn’t happened before.

Could it actually get any worse?

Knowing it could, she took a gulp of her wine.

‘Do you think he is the father?’ she asked, as Matthew came to sit with her.

‘If there really is a child, then apparently it’s possible,’ he replied, watching her move along the sofa to put more space between them. He moved too, closing the gap, and tapped his glass to hers. ‘Grandparents,’ he smiled, looking exactly like his son and sounding just as absurd. ‘Never imagined that this soon.’

Going to sit on the other sofa, she said, ‘Why am I the only one who’s upset about this? I’d have thought you, of all people, would realize what a disaster it’s going to be if he really is the father.’

‘You mean because I’ve recently had a baby I didn’t plan for?’ he countered. ‘A bit different in my case, but yeah, I guess you’re right, it will be disastrous and expensive and consuming … It’ll be a lot of things we can’t even foresee right now, but at least he’s not talking about getting married.’

Was he for real? Had he actually just said that? She eyed him carefully, and finally, as the penny slowly dropped, she realized why he wasn’t anywhere near as worked up over this as she was and she almost wanted to weep.

‘You’re seeing this as a way of keeping us together, aren’t you?’ she challenged. ‘You think, if there is a baby we’ll both be responsible for it, because Aiden isn’t capable, and we’ll share custody visits and baby bathtime and nappy changes and he can meet Bear, his uncle who’s practically the same age as him …’

‘It might be a girl,’ Matthew put in quickly. ‘And I’m not sure Bear will be the uncle, will he?’

‘I don’t know, and I don’t care. I just want this to stop, now, and you to accept that there is no going back for us.’

Looking crestfallen, he sipped his drink and turned to stare out at the garden.

She watched him, wondering what he was really thinking and trying not to care about how lost he suddenly seemed. In the end she broke the silence, just as he knew she would.

‘What’s happening with Marley?’ she asked, hoping a slight change of subject might help calm things down a little. ‘You mentioned at some point that you had plans to go over there.’

He nodded. ‘I also invited you and David to come with me,’ he reminded her. ‘Generous of me, don’t you think?’

Incredulous, she said, ‘Why would you even want that?’

He shrugged. ‘I guess being with you, even if he’s there, is better than being without you.’

Not wanting even to try processing that, she closed her eyes and forced all the strange images it conjured out of her mind.

‘She’s going to Santa Fe,’ he said after a while. ‘Apparently she’s been cast in a movie that’s shooting there and she wants me to have Bear while she’s away.’

Cristy’s eyes narrowed as she saw where this might be going. ‘How long’s she planning to be gone?’ she asked cautiously.

‘A few months, I think.’

‘So she wants you to bring him here?’

‘I guess so. We haven’t discussed it yet, but it can’t happen any other way.’

Sounding snappier than she’d intended, she said, ‘I thought she had a fantastic nanny.’

‘She does, but it’s not the same as a parent, she says, and she thinks it’ll be a great opportunity for some bonding between Papa Bear and Boo Boo.’

Cristy stared at him, caught now on the names, and aware she shouldn’t laugh, but it was already happening. Papa and Boo Boo? Really?

‘It’s OK, go right ahead,’ he told her. ‘We have to try to see the funny side of all this or we might just go mad.’

Knowing she would – go mad – if there was a chance of two babies to contend with in the not too distant future, a grandson and whatever Bear was to her … Actually he was nothing, no relation at all, so why was she even considering it? Probably because, knowing Matthew as she did, once the child was here at his home in England, he’d find a way to trap her into parenting with him whether she wanted to or not.

God spare me , she thought, taking another gulp of wine, but she was too tired now to argue any further, and was actually missing David too much to want to speak to anyone else. If only Matthew would go home and take Aiden with him.

David rang a few minutes later.

‘I’m going to take this in the bedroom,’ she told Matthew.

‘Is it him?’

‘Mind your own business, and if you want to be a really good dad you might go in there and try talking some sense into your son.’

‘He’s doing everything right, isn’t he?’

‘Only you would think that,’ and leaving him to puzzle it out she swept off to the privacy of her room and lay down on the bed.

‘Are you OK?’ David asked when she answered. ‘You sound tired.’

‘Just a bit. There’s quite a lot happening here that’s … Well, let’s say I wasn’t prepared for it and I’m not sure how well I’m handling it.’

‘Do you want to talk about it?’

Realizing she did, she gave him a shortened version – not that there was a longer one yet – and as she waited for him to respond she found herself hoping he wasn’t laughing … Please, please, don’t you find this funny too.

If he did, he was clever enough not to let her know. ‘How’s Matthew dealing with it?’ he asked carefully.

Sighing, she said, ‘I think he’s angry, but he’s also treating it as a bit of a joke. Well, not a joke, but it’s like he doesn’t seem to realize what this could do to our lives, never mind Aiden’s.’

‘Well, maybe the time to start worrying is when you know for certain if Aiden’s the father. Meantime, is it possible you’re also trying to get over the shock of him actually having sex?’

She laughed. ‘I think I’ve known that for a while, but I assumed he was taking the proper precautions – actually that Matthew was making sure of it. I should have known better and talked to him myself. As for the girl, whoever she is … Pearl Something-or-other …’ She stopped, realizing she really didn’t want to talk about it any more, that actually what she wanted was to forget about everything for a while and think only about David. ‘Why don’t you tell me what’s going on in your world?’ she suggested, feeling some of her tension unravelling simply by asking the question.

With an ironic sort of tenderness he said, ‘You mean apart from how much I’m missing you?’

Smiling she said, ‘Well, you could start with that.’

‘OK, here goes …’

‘No!’ she cried laughing. ‘I didn’t mean it … Well, I did, but if it’s as much as I’m missing you then I kind of already know.’

‘Good, I’m glad we’re both having a difficult time being apart again – a subject we’ll need to revisit, I feel. But for now, why don’t I update you on what else is happening here?’

‘I’m listening.’

‘Well, apparently Gabe, Lukas and Evie are planning to stay for at least another week, and Sadie’s going to have another go at trying to talk to Mia tomorrow. She’s sent her several messages saying she believes Lottie was behind everything in the hope it’ll make Mia more willing to see her, but so far she hasn’t heard back.’

‘Do we know if anyone’s actually been inside the house since Connor and I were there?’

‘I’m not sure, but I don’t think so. Sadie’s seen her though, looking much as you described with her hair like a nest and some sort of ghastly make-up. God knows what she’s up to, I suspect she doesn’t even know herself.’

Wondering how true that was, Cristy said, ‘We’re meeting with the lawyers in the morning to discuss what we can put into the next episode. Obviously we have the big reunion and the clifftop farewell, but we’re hoping to include at least some excerpts of Janina’s contact with the sisters without running into a lawsuit.’

Sighing, David said, ‘I guess it says quite a lot about Sadie that she still feels protective enough towards her aunt, even now, not to fight the injunction.’

‘She is remarkable, but some people are just made more forgiving than others. As Evie has put it several times, nothing any of them do will bring Janina back and seeking revenge on an old lady is no way for any of them to go forward.’

‘I suppose you have to agree with that. It’s about the future now, not the past.’

‘Which doesn’t help those of us making a podcast very much.’

‘You really do sound tired. It’s making me wish you were here – or I was there – so we could … end the day together?’

Sinking into how wonderful that sounded, she said, ‘I need to tell you how glad I am to be the sweets in your pocket and wind in your sails.’

With a laugh, he said, ‘You’ve been talking to Rosie.’

‘Guilty,’ she smiled. ‘It’s a lovely phrase. She’s a lovely girl, and I’m so glad for your sake that at least she isn’t pregnant. It’s just a pity Aiden didn’t learn the facts of life from Ludo.’

Laughing, a lot, he said, ‘I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t have found that quite so funny, but it was good.’

Still smiling, she rolled over on the bed and closed her eyes. ‘If you knew what I was thinking now,’ she said, ‘you might blush.’

His voice was quieter, softer, as he said, ‘Why don’t we give it a try?’

Aware of the words gathering and warming her in all the right places, she said, ‘If we do I’ll make myself blush.’

‘Would that be so bad?’

‘No, I don’t suppose so, but with Matthew and Aiden still here … Maybe I can call you back when they’ve gone?’

‘Sure. Meantime I might send you a link to Amanjena to see if it really is somewhere you’d like to go.’

‘I know it will be, but I’d love to see it so I can start to imagine us there.’ She frowned as someone knocked on the door.

‘Mum? We’re sending out for pizza. Shall we get one for you?’

‘Sorry,’ she said to David, ‘I have to go, but please send that link. And if I don’t manage to call back tonight, let’s speak tomorrow.’

Ringing off, she went to open the door and for no reason she could name, seeing Aiden standing there looking sheepish, and tousled and all grown-up, but not, made her want to hold him closer than she had for a very long time.

‘Cool,’ he murmured as her arms went round him. ‘Clearly got to offer you a pizza more often.’

Smiling, she said, ‘Why don’t you guys pick one up on your way home? It’s been a long day and I’ve still got things to do before I go to bed.’

‘Actually, I was thinking of staying here, if that’s OK?’

‘Really? But you have school in the morning?’

‘Yeah, but I can Uber it if Dad lets me use his account.’ He met her eyes tentatively, a little playfully. ‘I missed you while you were gone and I don’t want to leave while we’re still kind of … like this.’

Loving him for that, she said, ‘Staying here for the night isn’t going to sort things out, you must know that. But of course, if you want to – this is your home as well as mine.’

‘Good to know. And my pizza’s yours if you only want your usual slice.’

It wasn’t until much later, after they’d eaten and somehow avoided the subject of his disgrace, and teased Matthew about being Papa Bear to Boo Boo, that Cristy was finally back in her room and ready to slip into bed. She lay quietly for a few minutes, already starting to drift into sleep, while wanting to call David back. Maybe she was too tired, but she could at least text, or leave a suggestive voice message with instructions for him to delete as soon as he’d heard it.

Reaching for her phone, she turned onto her side and found an email alert from him, presumably containing the link to a holiday in Marrakech. Wanting to see it, to fall asleep dreaming about it, she started to click through but suddenly came jarringly awake, as she noticed another text had arrived from the anonymous sender.

In spite of knowing she shouldn’t open it, especially not at this time of night, she went ahead and felt a burn of unease as she read the few short words, Aaah, Cristy, back in Bristol, safe and sound.

How did he know that? Was he physically stalking her, watching her every move? Could he even be outside right now?

Knowing it was much more likely that he was tracking her mobile, she quickly turned off the Find My iPhone app – except if he was using some other sort of spyware that wasn’t going to do it.

Deciding to let Jacks take a look in the morning, she was about to move the latest message to the folder when she realized there was an image attached. She opened it and revulsion surged through her. Not quite a dick-pic, but the closest thing to it: a man’s hand on his crotch suggesting he was about to lower the zip of his jeans.