Page 6 of Dirty Husband

Now, I want to survive. Everything else is gravy.

When I was still in high school, I had time for myself. I studied enough to ace my classes; I worked at my aunt's restaurant, and I nabbed the lead in the school play.

My parents didn't mind my afternoons with Shepard.

Even when it became evenings and weekends. And every single Sunday.

I thought they'd object—school is more important than boys—but they saw something I didn't.

Another ticket to success.

He wasn't richer than sin then. Just the son of a successful family. And the smartest guy in the math class at our very expensive private high school (I was there on scholarship).

He was smart, funny in a direct way, sweet in a Shep way.

It's hard to imagine now.

It's hard to remember.

I sneak a glance on my cell phone. The details of our meeting, in an email, sent by his lawyer's assistant.

No personal touch.

No signs of weakness.

But there, in the photo buried in an old folder, the two of us at homecoming dance.

His arm around my waist, his smile wicked, his blue eyes bright.

And me, in a red dress that matched his tie, struggling to stand in my uncomfortable heels, bursting with happiness.

He was so charming.

We were so happy. Yeah, we were kids with big dreams and small scars.

Or maybe that was just me. I always knew Shep was hiding a darkness. Before I even met him. He had a reputation at our school. For brooding behavior and fits of anger.

He was gentle with me. Most of the time. But sometimes…

He got angry for no clear reason. Or he avoided me for days. Then he turned up like nothing had happened. Like we'd spent all that time madly in love. Or he snuck his parents' liquor. Stayed at parties until he was wasted.

Then it wasn't sometimes. It was always.

He drank. A lot.

I used to think that was it. His only secret. He didn't want me to know he was out of control. He didn't want to admit he was out of control.

But now…

I'm not so sure.

Now, Shep is sober.

But that darkness of his is still there. It's closer to the surface. Stronger than ever.

And now he wants me as his wife.

No, what was it he said?