Page 180 of Dirty Husband

Or as normal as either of us can get.

For a few weeks, I refused to even look at the cash. It was too much. It didn't feel earned. But when Dad got word of the deposit, he talked me into using the money for good.

It took a while to figure out what that meant. Longer to put the paperwork together. But now…

I can't imagine a better use. I give people the opportunity to fully express themselves. I give them a safe space to find their emotions, wants, desires.

To heal.

And Dad…

He still lays on the guilt trips when he deems me ungrateful for Shep's wealth.

It's ridiculous. I'm the only first-generation woman whose parents guilt her for not spending enough money.

Think of what your mother would do? Would she really want you to waste this opportunity?

I'm glad he's still here. Because if Mai and Queyen could use him and Mom to guilt me into doing things their way—

I'm so glad he's here. And okay. Yes, he's not in fighting shape. He'll never be at one hundred percent again. But he's healthy and happy and alive.

And married to his freaking nurse. I guess she's not his nurse anymore. He doesn't need a nurse anymore. I guess it's a good thing he has a medical professional nearby.

"Princess…" He shakes his head with mock distaste. "Picturing me naked?"

"No." I press my lips together. "Not exactly."

He stares back at me with all this trust. All this love.

It warms me everywhere. It makes my limbs light. If he wasn't holding me, I'd float to the ceiling.

I still might.

I love him so much. More every day. Getting to be this close to him, sharing his space, his time, his life—

Maybe we aren't a normal couple. Maybe we haven't worked out every single one of our issues. But I don't care.

We're happy.

And he's safe. He doesn't tell me everything about his past. Only bits and pieces. He's still working through it. He'll always be working through it.

He's trying to let go. Forgive. For himself.

It's the opposite of the Shepard Marlowe I know.

And it's… well, I'm happy for him. That he's releasing this burden. But I couldn't let go or forgive.

I asked Ian's help. The tech genius found information on Lucien. Nothing about Shep. Or Nick. Or anything salacious.

No, we found ordinary, run-of-the-mill evidence of insider trading.

I took it to Lucien. Told him I'd release it if he ever came near Shep again. He pretended like he had no idea what I was talking about. But he did back off.

I asked Shep's staff to keep an eye on him. To tell me if they ever get news of any contact from Lucien. Even a fucking Christmas card.

I know, I shouldn't spy on my husband. But it's what he would do. If he knew, he'd be proud.

As it is…