Page 23 of Dirty Husband

The decorator discusses color scheme, theme, feel. I rattle off a few buzz words. Bright, vibrant, alive.

A place that's exciting yet safe. A place that's mine. A place that's filled with the things I love.

Tea, family, classic films, Broadway icons.

Lock overhears me. Offers to purchase tickets for me and Shepard. For tonight.

It's a sweet offer, but I can't say yes just yet. I can't agree to extra time with him just yet. It's enough I'm living in his apartment, at his beck and call, for some reason he can't explain.

Shepard is many things. Patient isn't one of them. Even if he was waiting until he was sober, he's had a year. He's had chances.

He's been in New York all this time. Sure, we haven't talked, but we've locked eyes. I've felt all that unspoken history pass between us.

If he wanted to do this to prove he could, to have some hold over me, to win me back—

He would have done it a long time ago.

There must be something else.

Yes, I need money now more than ever. But I needed it last month and the month before. I don't believe he's been biding his time, waiting until I was desperate enough to accept his offer.

Maybe I'm naïve. Maybe I'm blinded by memories. Maybe I'm a damn fool.

But I do believe there's good in him. I do believe he wants the best for me.

I finish with the decorator. Let Lock drive me to Shepard's penthouse.

A new building in a gentrifying neighborhood. Hell's Kitchen. Far west, right along the Hudson.

We park in an underground garage. Next to three other cars Shepard owns. The color is a dead giveaway. Bright red.

His favorite color on me. The color of everything he owns.

I should get used to it.

A million dollars buys a year of my life.

So when I hear his voice on the intercom outside the elevator, I steel myself.

He wants something from me.

Maybe it's something I can give him.

But he won't get my love.

That's not for sale.

Chapter Eight

Jasmine

Light streams through the wide windows. Bounces off the shiny tile floors. The clean walls. The expensive furniture.

A leather couch with soft edges. A long dining table in cherry. Chandelier lights with sparkling accents.

And Shepard, standing in the middle of the room in a sleek grey suit.

He really is handsome. He always was, but now that he's older and broader, he's a full-blown hunk.