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FORTY

Detective Fields and I stand in the empty gymnasium, our voices echoing as I relay to her all the information I gathered from Nadia last night. And from the girls in yesterday’s team meeting.

“It sounds like they were more forthcoming with you,” Detective Fields says, closing the flap on her small notebook. “They didn’t have much to say when I was there.”

“They’re intimidated by you, which is to be expected,” I say. “All of this must be so scary for them. Having a teammate go missing. Girls that young aren’t supposed to be worrying about anything.”

That’s the way it should be, of course. But I know that’s not true. When I was their age, I had a lot on my plate. I simply tried my best to hide it.

“Thanks to the internet they’re growing up too fast,” Detective Fields says, slowly walking toward the gymnasium doors. “Looking at those messages, it’s hard to believe they came from a thirteen-year-old girl.”

Another wave of sickness works its way through me as I recall the conversations between Evie and Kyle. Of course, she thought she was talking to another teenager. She had no idea she was communicating with an adult predator. Her teacher! Still, I can’t help feeling Evie was playing some kind of part. Saying what she thought a teenager would say. Nothing in that conversation sounded authentic.

“We have no way of knowing if Kyle kept his promise to meet Evie that night,” she says. “The video surveillance should be fully recovered soon. Maybe that will give us answers.”

I shudder again. It would be amazing to find out what happened to Evie by watching that footage, but I could also end up in trouble for opening that damned door. I never knew there was a camera angled at the precise spot.

“In the meantime, let me know if you hear anything else. The girls clearly feel more comfortable coming to you,” she says, as we exit the school building. Standing on the curb beside the parking lot, she pulls out her notebook again. “And tell me the name of the person who sent you the information. It might be helpful to talk to them myself.”

“Nadia,” I say, but I am distracted. As I look across the parking lot, I can see Nadia’s car. She’s standing beside it, her phone in hand. “She’s here.”

“What?”

“Nadia is here. She was trying to call me before the meeting.”

At that exact moment, Nadia looks up and sees me. She waves me over.

Detective Fields looks ahead. “That’s the person who told you about Kyle.”

“Yes,” I say. “We’re old friends. She’s good at looking into things.”

Detective Fields begins to nod, as though she recognizes the woman on the other side of the parking lot. “I remember her. The two of you used to get into trouble together.” There’s a hint of alarm in her voice.

I feel my cheeks burning. “That was ages ago, Detective.”

“Isn’t she related to the victim?” she asks, sharply. The friendly tone Detective Fields has displayed in recent visits falls off, and she’s talking to me like she did that first time, when she recognized me from my misspent youth.

“Yes, Evie is her niece, but they don’t have a relationship,” I say. “She’d never even met her.”

“Evie’s mother mentioned her to me,” she says, eyes fixed on Nadia. “She said she’d been hanging around their house.”

“She went with me, after the prayer circle,” I say, trying to defend her. “Nadia has been trying to help find Evie. She’s the one who made the connection between Kyle and the online profile.”

“She’s been in more recent trouble,” Detective Fields says, watching Nadia closely. “I recall seeing her at the station a few months back. I recognized her then and pulled her file. She must have close to a dozen arrests.” She turns to me, narrowing her eyes. “How much have you told her about Evie’s case?”

“Nadia might have a bad track record, but she wants to help find Evie,” I say, dodging the question. “That’s why she’s here.”

As I say this, I realize I don’t know if that’s true. I have no idea why Nadia would come to the school in the middle of the day. And I didn’t know she’d been arrested only a few months ago. I never even knew she was Evie’s aunt. How do I know she has the right intentions?

“Keep in touch,” Detective Fields says, finally crossing the parking lot to get to her car. I can’t ignore how frustrating her tone is. She’s suspicious of Nadia, and as a result, me.

Nadia is still standing by her car, waving me over. I take a deep breath and march toward her.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

“You didn’t answer when I called.”

“We were having a meeting with the girls,” I say. “And that still doesn’t explain why you showed up to my work.”

“You’ve been dodging my calls since last night,” she says. “After all the digging I did, I thought I deserved to know what was going on.”

“I forwarded all the information to the police. We warned the girls this morning. Hopefully they’ll come forward about anything else now that they know how serious this is.”

Nadia nods in the direction of Detective Fields’ car. “Is she a cop?”

I exhale in frustration. “Yes. And she said she recognized you.”

“I thought she looked familiar.” Nadia laughs. “Is that the same street cop that picked us up when we were kids?”

“It is, actually,” I say. “But she said you’re still getting in trouble.”

“You already know that much.”

“I didn’t know you were getting caught! She said you were arrested a couple months ago.”

“That was stupid,” Nadia says, looking away quickly. “Total misunderstanding.”

“Why didn’t you tell me? It makes me wonder what else you’re into.”

“It didn’t really come up. A lot has happened in the past week. I didn’t think it mattered.”

“Everything matters! One of my players is missing, and I’m leaning on you to help find her. Now I don’t even know if I can trust you. I don’t know who you are.”

“You know who I am. I’ve made some mistakes but not everyone had it as easy as you.”

“It’s never been easy for me. My childhood was as hard as yours.”

“And then Coach Phillips took you in and you lived happily ever after,” she says. “Funny how you always leave that part out.”

“I don’t?—”

“You do! You had something to help you out of this life. I didn’t. It sounds like Evie didn’t,” she says. “Maybe think about that when you’re judging me for my decisions.”

“I’m not judging you.” I pinch my forehead with my fingers. “My whole world is falling apart, and I don’t need you psychoanalyzing me right now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Connor. I found out he was cheating on me with Joanna.”

“That scum. You shouldn’t even waste your tears on him.”

“Allow me to be upset!” I shout. “I think I’ve earned the right.”

“You can’t really think Connor is your whole world,” she says.

That’s not what I’d meant, but the fact she’s so openly criticizing my fiancé—a man she’s met only once—bothers me.

“The last thing I need from you is relationship advice,” I say.

“Maybe you should get it from somebody.”

“Way to kick me when I’m down,” I say. “It’s not like I asked for him to cheat on me.”

“I thought Connor was a jerk before you told me he cheated on you.”

“What are you even talking about? You barely know him.”

“It sounds like he barely knows you,” she says. “You haven’t told him anything about your past or where you come from. He thinks both your parents are dead.”

“Can you blame me?” I ask. “My past is complicated.”

“What about your present?” she asks. “I spent a couple of hours with the guy. All he did was talk this dream wedding and honeymoon that you don’t even want.”

“What makes you say I don’t want it?”

“You don’t! You’re letting his wealthy parents take the lead on everything. It’s a beachside wedding, and you don’t even like the ocean!”

“Who cares about a stupid wedding?”

“It shows he doesn’t put your feelings first. Hell, now he’s cheating on you!” she says. “The way he talked about your job… if he really cared about you, he’d want you to pursue what you’re passionate about. He wouldn’t want you to trash everything so you could travel around the world together.”

I’m not sure what upsets me more, that part of what Nadia is saying feels accurate, or that I still feel the need to defend Connor after everything he’s put me through. I close my eyes, trying to wrangle my thoughts into a rebuttal.

“I think you’re just upset my life has some stability,” I say. “We never had that growing up. You still don’t have it. Stealing and conning your way through life. I’ve found a way to break the cycle, and that kills you inside.”

“You might have a nice house and a rich fiancé and a job at a cushy school,” Nadia says, narrowing her stare, “but if you think your life is any more stable than mine, you’re completely delusional.”

Again, I’m afraid she might be right. Maybe at one point there was stability in my life. Maybe two weeks ago. Ever since Evie’s disappearance, everything has been crumbling around me.

My phone buzzes with a message from Mr. Lake:

Meeting in my office. Now.

“I have to get back to work,” I say.

“Are we really just going to leave things like this?” Nadia asks.

“I have a job to do,” I tell her. “In the real world, people don’t always have time for your bullshit.”

“You had time for it when you wanted me to look into Evie’s disappearance,” she says.

I remember what’s brought us together, what’s kept us together, despite all the turmoil of recent days.

“I really appreciate your help,” I say. “What you found might really make a difference.”

“Let’s hope,” she says, opening her car door. “Not too bad for a chaotic screw-up, huh?”

I don’t attempt to respond. The damage done to our friendship will take a lot more to mend than one thank you. Exhaling in frustration, I turn around and walk back inside the school building, gearing up for my meeting with Mr. Lake.