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16

DELILAH

I have no idea how to be a wife. Add in my obvious mental issues and I’m destined to fail. It doesn’t help that Asher has been busy all day and I lurk at the edge of the kitchen watching his office door for any movement.

The clock ticks as it approaches the new hour. So far, he’s only poked his head out of the door to make sure I’m taking my medication and I watch the sleek matte door for him to do it again. The smell of garlic hasn’t enticed him out, but as soon as it hits 7 pm, the door cracks open.

His hair is messy like he’s been running his fingers through it, and his shoulders are tense before he even sees me. I smile to hide how uncomfortably tight my throat is and hold the two pills in my palm as I coax him out.

“I’m supposed to have these before eating. Do you want to eat with me?”

Can he see my guilt?

Even if it was only a thought and the masked freak isn’t real, I shouldn’t be having those thoughts. I shouldn’t be excited about the prospect of cheating on my husband because that’s what it is—cheating. Betrayal. Disloyalty.

But he steps out of his office and closes the door behind him. I catch a glimpse of all the monitors set up and quickly turn when realization dawns on me. He’s watching the security cameras. If it’s real, he’ll see.

“Did you order in?” he asks, closer than I anticipated, making my shoulders stiffen.

I turn and try to smile, again, as I force my tone to be light. “I made it. Wouldn’t you have seen a delivery on the cameras?”

The corner of his lips twitch and he attempts to hide it as he scratches the side of his jaw. It only brings attention to the movement and some of the tension leaves his shoulders. But his eyes are darker, harsher, and weighted.

Was it real?

No.

If it was, he would go crazy like he should. I wouldn’t have woken up dressed and there would be a pillow cut open on the bed. A feather or a string, anything to show that my mind wasn’t playing tricks on me.

He softly kisses my cheek and lifts my hand, silently reminding me about the pills. Everything inside of me settles at the gesture, and I swallow them dry, ignoring the way the smoothed edges scrape against my throat. Asher wraps his arms around me and gently sways from side to side.

I wrap my arms around his waist and close my eyes as I rest my cheek on his chest. His heart thrums against my ear, nearly drowning out his whisper over the top of my head.

“One day, Lilo, one day it will all be clearer.”

Tears burn the back of my eyes and I grab his t-shirt in my fists as I pull him closer. My voice is weak and unlike myself, or who I think I am, as I apologize.

“I’m sorry…”

I trail off, unsure of what I’m apologizing for. There are too many things from childhood to now and all the years I’ve forgotten. But he keeps swaying and strokes down my back, giving me an out I haven’t asked for.

“It’s okay, baby, just stay with me a little longer.”

I nod and take in a shaky breath as he wrecks me further.

“You know I fall in love with you every day?” he whispers while I fight my tears. “It doesn’t matter which Delilah I get, I have always loved you and if I need to battle through your worst to have this, right here, then it’s worth it.”

My arms tighten around him, and everything burns.

“I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you in the playground. You didn’t even notice me at first because you were too busy making sure your dress didn’t get dirty from the slide,” he says with each syllable getting softer. “Right at that moment, I knew you were going to change my life”—a small laugh brushes the top of my head—“but I could never guess that you would become it. So just stay with me a little longer, baby.”

Reds and pinks fill the kitchen as the sun begins to set. I don’t let go of him and he continues swaying from side to side. My throat burns and I screw my eyes shut as I try to give him something more than this moment.

“I remember the first time I saw you. We went to your house to visit your parents and my mom told me that there were kids my age there. I was so excited to play that I grabbed your hand and said you have to show me your toys.”

The memory is bittersweet, and we slow our swaying at the part I’m leaving out. I thought he was Kane who I had already met, and he snatched the toys out of my hand when I got his name wrong. It probably didn’t help matters when I dragged him to a mirror to prove that there was only one of him because I’d never seen twins before.

He strokes up my back and grips my nape. The hold isn’t painful or rough, but there’s a coldness to it as he pulls me away from his chest. His voice is still low and there’s a threat in his eyes as he examines my eyes and asks, “Who are the tears for, baby?”

There’s nothing I can give him other than honesty. “You,” I say. “They’re for you because I’ve ruined your life.”

Asher cups my cheek and smiles down at me with the sky darkening behind him. It adds extra shadows to his face, and he leans down to speak against my lips. “And how did you ruin my life, Delilah?”

There’s humor in his voice. I answer dumbly, “By being crazy?”

The smile splits into a deep laugh and he shakes his head as it clings to his voice. “You’re not crazy. You are exactly who you’re supposed to be, the woman I love, and my wife is nothing short of perfect. Come on, you need to eat.”