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DELILAH

W hat the fuck have I done to him?

Asher has never been the type of person to let things get to him. He could have someone scream in his face then forget about it three minutes later. Now, he’s pissed because of what I’ve done.

No, not just pissed. He’s hurt. It’s there in his eyes and I leave the room to fix it as much as I’m able to. My phone lights up with a random notification from the news that no one gives a fuck about. There are no contacts other than my husband for people to reach out to me, so I don’t even bother reading it as I swipe it across to load the camera.

Aiming it at me, I press the red button and watch it blink for a few seconds before speaking.

“My name is Delilah L—Newman and I’m forgetful.” He walks out of the closet in my periphery, and I smile widely to rid myself of the guilt. “Like I said, I’m forgetful. That means I end up doing dumb shit. One of those things is making false accusations against my husband.”

Asher gets closer. Each slow step has the crease between his brows deepening until he’s standing at my side. He’s out of the camera’s shot, but he watches me. I turn so I’m looking at him as I say the next part.

“This is my video evidence if I ever forget again. I love my husband and he isn’t a rapist. He’s the best man I know, and I give him permission to do every filthy thing he thinks of.”

Some of the hurt leaves and he smiles.

“Every filthy thing I think of?” he repeats.

I nod and lower my arm. “Yeah, I trust you. I might not be sure of who I am now, or what is actually happening around me, but I trust you to keep me safe. I trust that you know me, and that is all I need to know.”

He takes a step closer and works backwards deconstructing my speech. “You love me?”

I don’t move as I say with conviction, “I always have. You’re my first love and my last, just like I promised.”

Another step and another question. “Will you ever break that promise to me, Delilah?”

There’s an edge to his voice that has never been there before. But I play along with the game and adore the possessiveness.

“I guess you’ll have to force me to admit the truth.”

“Hmm.” He takes another step. “Would that be by doing those filthy thoughts you mentioned?”

I lift one shoulder, attempting to be nonchalant as I fight a smile. “Maybe it is. You’ll have to find out for yourself by testing your theory.”

Asher lunges forward faster than I can move back and grabs my arms. He pulls them up above my head and holds my wrists together. My fight is automatic, and I kick his shin as I twist my arms. It doesn’t free me from his hold and my phone is pried from my fingers.

It must still be recording because he turns the screen towards me and the red button is blinking as he says, “Tell everyone, especially future Delilah, how much of a little slut she is begging to be fucked”—his voice drops and his eyes darken with excitement—“rough and hard.”

I clench my thighs together and I’m pretty sure my tongue is incapable of moving to form any other words than yes and please. But I swallow and force out exactly what we both need.

“I need you to fuck me hard and rough, please.”

He tuts and tightens his hold on my wrists. Tugging on them, he lifts me until I’m standing on my toes and orders, “Say you’re a filthy little slut, my good little slut to use.”

There’s an issue with authority rising up in me and I look directly at the camera as I smile. “I’m a dirty little slut.” Looking at Asher, I add, “ My good little slut to use.”

My arms drop to my sides so quickly that I sway on my toes and grab the closest thing to me. The towel around Asher’s hips unravels, but he grabs my neck before I fall into his chest. His fingers tighten at the sides, and he pushes me back as he keeps the camera fixed on me. My own image is in my periphery, but I can’t look away from him.

There’s a slight tinge of fear as he walks me backwards while pulsing his fingers around my neck, restricting how much air I can take in. I’m not afraid of him because I know the aggressive Asher who takes what he wants. This version channels that dominance into something that satisfies us both rather than his ego alone. The backs of my knees hit the bed and he lowers his head so we’re eye to eye. Everything about him darkens, his voice, his eyes, his intent.

“You’re right, Delilah, you’re not my good little wife. You’re just a slut who hasn’t learnt how to behave.”

I lean forward, giving him more power over my air as I taunt him. “So, make me behave.” His pupils eat up all the pale green. “Make me yours.”

A dark laugh rumbles through his chest as he pushes me down to my knees and holds my phone above his abs.

“That was good, baby, but not good enough.” He fills with authority. “Watch while I take that mouth.”

He lets go of my neck and roughly grabs the strands at the top of my head in his fist. This is what I need. Knowing he still cares about me and that he’s being rough to give me what I want, that even if I’m on my knees I’m the one in control because he stares into my eyes. I clench my thighs together as I open my mouth allowing him to take more and even the scales of everything he’s done for me.

“Disobedient and lazy, you’re a pretty useless wife.” He tuts.

I don’t have a valid argument and snap my mouth closed.

“Hold your phone. Watch how beautiful you are while you earn my cock.”

“I don’t need to earn what belongs to me as your wife,” I fire back as I use both hands to keep the phone in place.

He wraps his fingers around his length and strokes himself from base to tip, squeezing a drop of precum out that has me licking my lips. I’m not given his dick straight away. Instead, he slaps my cheek with the tip as he asks, “And what belongs to me as your husband?”

“Me,” I answer too honestly and breathlessly. “All of me, at any time you want.”

There’s a pause at my answer. He assesses me. I would have thought he knew everything about me, but I like the idea that there are still things that can surprise us both rather than me being the one shocked all the time.

His voice lowers as traces my lips with the tip of his dick. “Do you know what free use is, Delilah?”

I nod and resist the urge to lick my lips. “Yeah. You can have me whenever you want. It might make the day more exciting.”

“Is that why you’ve been walking around in only my t-shirts?” he asks. “You were being a helpful little slut making sure I have access to any part of you I wanted?”

This Asher is my absolute dream. I couldn’t have created a better person for myself because he knows every broken facet of who I am. He knows what I need without me having to ask for it and he contains both my mind and body. With him, I’m safe. He speaks directly to my desires, showing that we’ve both grown together from teenagers, giddy over a first kiss, to adults who know what we want.

When I don’t answer, he slaps his dick off my cheek again, using more force than the last time. It takes every bit of mental fortitude I possess not to moan as he roughly pulls my head back. Letting go of his dick, he taps the backs of his fingers against my cheek and pulls hard enough on my hair that it sends tingles down my spine.

“I asked you a question, slut.”

There’s no hope for me to keep back my moan and it comes out broken and pathetic. But Asher smiles and the dark desire in his eyes highlights how beautiful it is.

“Ye—yes,” I stutter. “Whatever you want, whenever you want.”

He wraps his fingers around my jaw, each digit pressing into a point just before it would be painful and tips my head back. My lips part as he traces them with his thumb and there’s so much care staring down at me that I melt.

“Good girl,” he coos. “Now open your pretty mouth so I can see how much that throat has missed me.” My mouth opens, and he laughs despite the love in his eyes. “You missed me too?”

I don’t answer and wrap my fingers around his length. He tenses but doesn’t stop me as I slowly press the tip against the flat of my tongue. His fingers tighten in my hair, and I smirk as I take him in my mouth. One thing we always battled for was the role of the most arrogant. It’s no different now as he tries to take control and pulls me forward, forcing me to take more.

The sides of my lips burn from being pulled taut and he’s even bigger than I remember. Hollowing my cheeks, I twist my hand, stroking the part of him that isn’t in my mouth, but he slaps me again.

“Hands behind your head, fingers threaded together.”

I obey like he’s a police officer. Asher doesn’t trap them there. He only holds the top of my head and thrusts forward, making me choke. Spit flows from the sides of my mouth and runs down my chin. It slips down my neck as he roughly pushes further forward while pulling me closer.

A deep groan vibrates through him as he enters my throat. “That’s my little fucking slut. This throat is why I married you.” He slaps my cheek again with more force. “Are you going to keep it from me again?”

I try to shake my head, but it just makes me dizzy with the lack of air. My fingers twitch with the urge to push him away as I attempt to pull my head back. The hold on my hair keeps me in place as he does as he promised and fucks my throat. Each stroke is hard, hitting the back of my throat as he gives me another inch. My nose gets closer to touching him and I gag as my stomach constricts with the intrusion.

My arms move out of reflex to stay alive, and I push against his thighs with both hands. He doesn’t allow me any extra air, but he pauses and collects the spit dripping from my chin as he checks in.

“Stop or slower, baby?” he asks.

His fingers loosen in my hair enough for me to pull back. I choke down air as soon as he’s out of my throat and my voice is a croak. “You’re too big.”

His smile is wicked, and he puffs his chest out as he takes half a step back. It doesn’t deter him from the roughness as he pulls me to stand with his hold on my hair and grabs my throat to seal his lips over mine.

The kiss is feral. It’s teeth and unrestrained as his hands roam over every inch of my body. We both groan as he cups my ass with both hands and massages my ass cheeks. His dick is hard and wet with my spit between us, but he’s more content with kissing me like he needs the air from my lungs than doing anything more.

We may be older, and preferences may have changed, but the feeling of my first love holding me is all I need. It’s life affirming and a familiar comfort. I repay it the only way I know how and slowly turn us until he’s standing with his back to the bed. It takes effort on my part to peel myself off him and I push against his chest to get him to fall backwards.

The man is a wall and remains standing as I rock with him. One hand leaves my ass to wrap around my neck and he squeezes the sides as he leans into me. “You’re not the one in control anymore. I told you I’m not the same boy I used to be. Outside of our bedroom, I’ll worship you, but here you’ll do what I say. If you want to ride me, wife, you will beg for my cock.”

My mind translates it as a threat when I’m glad he’s changed. The last year I have of Asher in my memory isn’t someone I would willingly be around but I can’t trust those memories are real and I ignore the alert sounding in the back of my head.

I’m spun around, and he cups the front of my neck to drag me down as he sits on the edge of the bed. The pressure against my windpipe chokes me as he cups between my thighs and pulls me flush against his chest. The windows turn into a mirror, and I watch our reflection as he kisses my shoulder and pushes each of my legs on either side of his thighs so I’m straddling him backwards.

Asher turns slightly so I have a full view and says, “Watch me use this pussy how it was meant to be.”

My moans get louder as he pulls my legs apart by widening his own and circles my entrance with the tip of his dick. I can’t look away at the reflection as I anticipate the exact moment he’s going to push inside me. I need him and chase his movements, but he pulls my legs further apart and tightens his hold on my neck.

He bites into my shoulder, and I whimper. My head falls back as he whispers, “Watch, Delilah.”

I slowly lower my head, bringing into view the surroundings. Particularly, the walkway between the empty building and our house.

The walkway that isn’t empty.