Page 85 of Devil's Kiss
A monster,Jordan thought.“A very sad and cruel man.”
“Yeah,” Derek agreed, and unfastened the straps around the rolled-up sleeping bag on top of his pack. “Well, that was the kindest thing he did to me that night. I ran back into my room, understanding on some level that I was in danger, I guess. Maybe it was because of the tone he used when he yelled at me? It was the same one he’d used with my mother right before he would—Fuck.He followed me, grabbed my arm, and spun me back around. When he asked me why I was still awake, I couldn’t answer. I was terrified. He was a big man, as big as I am, and I thought he was going to snap my arm in half. He hauled me inside my room to my bed, and when we got there he realized my terror had gotten the better of me and that I’d pissed on myself.” Derek stopped talking and shook his head as he brought his hands up to cover his eyes. He pressed his fingers so hard against his lids that Jordan was worried he would hurt himself, but he knew better. He knew that Derek was just trying to banish what he was seeing, what he was remembering.
He crossed over to him and reached for Derek’s wrists. After drawing them away from his face, Jordan brought the palms of each of his hands to his mouth and placed kisses on them. “What happened next?”
“That was the first night he hit me.” Derek gave a painful-looking grimace, which Jordan figured he was hoping to pass off as anit doesn’t mattersmile. “He slapped me, shoved me onto the bed, and told me not to bother coming out until I could face him like a man.”
Jordan swallowed back the gasp he wanted to let free as he stared into Derek’s ice-cold eyes. They’d glazed over, and he knew that Derek was right back there, experiencing it all over again.
“I didn’t come out of my room for a week other than to sneak to the bathroom. And after that only because Finn knocked on my window repeatedly and finally helped me pry it open. That was when we came down here and found this place.”
“Oh God. Derek. I’m so sorry…”
“No,” Derek said, shaking his head. “I didn’t tell you so you would feel sorry for that boy. I told you so you could understand whythisplace. This broken-down piece of nothing…it has a fighting chance to be something better. I want tomakeit something better. I want to give it life.”
Jordan took in the remains surrounding them and then offered a gentle smile to the truly outstanding man opposite him, and every single part of him called for Derek.
God he loved him, more than he ever thought possible. Why had it taken him so long to see?
“I know it’s not much. But it will be.”
“I believe it,” Jordan said, and he really did. “I believe in you. I always have.”
Derek drew him in and wrapped his arms about his waist, and Jordan pressed his lips against the hollow at the base of his throat. “You’re daring yourself to make a difference.”
Derek pulled back and gave him a quizzical look.
“It’s something my professor used to say to me.Find what makes you work the hardest, and dare yourself to make a difference.She was a wise woman.”
“She sounds like it.”
Jordan kissed Derek’s lips. “Want to know a secret?”
“Always.”
“You dared me.”
Derek frowned, and as silly as it seemed, saying those words out loud for the first time brought a blush to Jordan’s cheeks, and he felt self-conscious about his reaction.
“I don’t understand.”
“That first day. I wasn’t so sure teaching was for me. Then you stood up and removed your glasses and dared me to make a difference.”
Derek’s answering smile made Jordan’s heart practically thump out of his chest.
“Huh, that’s kind of nice when you put it that way.”
“I can be nice.”
“You weren’t that day,” Derek reminded him. “You were kind of a jackass,ProfessorDevaney.”
“True. You pushed my buttons. It wasn’t until much later that I worked out this pearl of wisdom.”
When Derek barked out a quick laugh, Jordan nuzzled into his wide chest and asked, “So,nowis it time to get naked?”
Chapter 23
AROUND AN HOUR later, Derek sat on his sleeping bag with a bonfire blazing in front of him on the beach as Jordan rustled through his backpack beside him, searching for God only knew what.