Page 33

I nod at the vague memory of her sitting Scarlet and me down in her closet.

She was weird that day and made us promise that if we were ever approached by a man named Rowan, that we’d run.

Not hide. We were to run into the biggest spotlight we could find and make sure everyone knew our names, make so much noise that everyone in the vicinity had no choice but to watch us. In horror or in awe.

She looks over her shoulder at the door before leaning forward and whispering into my ear, “It’s too late to run, Dilly. I’m really sorry. I tried. I promise that I tried to stop this.”

“Stop what?” I ask, sounding weak.

“I tried to stop you living the life I was supposed to, but it’s too late now.

” She wraps both arms around me, hugging me so tightly that I’m sure there’s going to be an imprint of her limbs against my shoulders.

“Kane will keep you safe. Safer than I could. Don’t trust anyone else and lie to yourself.

Tell yourself that you’re marrying the boy you always loved instead of the reality. ”

“Ruby, you’re scaring me.”

She shakes her head and softly kisses my cheek.

“Don’t be scared.” Her reassurance is bullshit. “Not now and not in front of anyone.”

Blowing out a breath, she pushes the gentleness away and rises to her full height. The edges of her coat part, revealing a small bump. My eyes widen at the sight of it and I slowly look up. “Tell me you’re bloated.”

A small smile lifts her lips, and she stops her hand cradling her stomach by curling her fingers into a fist. “Not bloated.”

The smile falls as she helps me stand. She becomes mechanical.

Everything about her demeanor is clinical as she guides me to the corner of the room where a gown bag is carelessly placed on the floor.

I don’t know anything about what a pregnant person should do but I don’t think lifting things is high on the list. So I take it for her. “Do you need to change?”

She shakes her head, and her eyes soften. “It’s for you.”

I slowly pull the zipper down, staring at the fancy lace like it’s a snake ready to attack.

“We don’t have time for me to explain everything,” she says softly. “Not like I had, but?—”

“Why the fuck is there a wedding dress?” I push the gown bag towards her. “I am not getting fucking married.”

She slowly nods and whispers, “You already are.”

What the fuck is she talking about?

I can’t fight her because she’s pregnant, so I try to keep my tone as calm as I can.

“No.”

Ruby holds my face in both hands, blocking me from leaving as she stands her pregnant self directly in front of me like a defense to prevent me lashing out. “You are, Delilah, and it’s the only thing stopping Rowan from marrying you. This way, you’re safe.”

I’m getting a headache from information overload.

It’s all too much. Maybe Asher was right.

I have hallucinations and they feel real.

This is another one. Asher is the real person because that way everything is easier.

If I killed Kane, then I didn’t spend years in hospital, none of my dreams are true, and this isn’t fucking happening.

But she continues. “You know our family is fucked up, that they’re power hungry and greedy?

Well, it’s for a reason, Dilly. Please do this without arguing with anyone.

Don’t run from Kane. Let him protect you.

He loves you, remember? You’d sneak off together and you’d always blush?

Or how you came home really excited because you made a friend and even though you were scared when he didn’t laugh at your joke, he still held your hand?

Remember that boy? Let him be the version that you marry. ”

“That’s not who Kane is now.”

“It is,” she urges. “He would always make sure you were safe. Even when you wanted to do something crazy like that time I caught you trying to climb a tree. Where was Kane?”

“At the bottom,” I mumble.

“Exactly. He was at the bottom with his arms open in case you fell and he wrapped you up in his coat so that you wouldn’t dirty your clothes.”

“No. I’m not marrying him.” That Kane has died. He’s bitter and sadistic now, hell-bent on hurting me any chance he’ll get.

But she holds me tighter, ignoring my refusal. “You are. You already have. And right now, you’re going to put on that dress and walk out of here to your husband, so that everyone knows you belong to him.”

I knew it wasn’t real.

The real Ruby wouldn’t tell me to do something if it made me uncomfortable.

She wouldn’t keep things from me either.

But my mind is fucked up and it can’t think of a successful lie to explain why I’m here, so it’s ruining a relationship I haven’t had since I was a child.

There’s nothing in reality that could prove this wrong, because I don’t even know who Ruby is now.

That’s how I know that I’ll wake up and this will be another fucked up dream that my subconscious has created to rationalize why my family is fractured.

I play along with the charade of whatever the chemicals are creating, and she relaxes.

Even if she isn’t real, I’m glad she’s here.

The gown bag slips through my fingers, and I hug her as tightly as I can without smothering her.

My cheek is pressed to her shoulder, and it turns my voice into a mumble. “I’ve missed you.”

She hugs me back, and it feels real. Real enough to allow the comfort of an embrace from the only person who looked after me to seep in.

“I’ve missed you too. So has Scar, but you know she’s a cold-hearted bitch that won’t admit it.” She kisses my temple. “I’m so proud of you for getting away from them. I hope you were happy in those short years so that you have the memories to keep you company.”

A watery laugh escapes me, and I hug her tighter as I admit, “I wish you both took me with you.”

She strokes my back and whispers her own admission, “And I hope you never understand why I couldn’t.” Her lips brush my ear as she lowers her voice further. “I love you and that has never stopped. You’ll always be my first baby.”