Page 1
I know I’m supposed to like my brother, but he’s not a nice person.
He always does things to hurt people. I watch him laugh as he pushes a girl from the top of the slide with both hands when she moves to the front of the line to take her turn.
Her eyes go wide, and she stretches her hands in front of her as she falls down the metal slide face-first.
Her pink dress flies out and Asher laughs harder when everyone sees her underpants. He likes looking at people’s underpants. He does it in school when the teacher takes us to the bathroom.
I don’t like him being near the new girl. I try to find her parents in the playground, but all of the nannies are sitting together talking and it’s rude to interrupt adults so I can’t ask them.
I stay in the wooden pirate den and keep watching to stop Asher from finding me.
He said I’m not allowed to be around anyone else while he’s there.
It’s a new rule but he’ll run away if I break it.
Mommy will be sad if Asher runs away. I don’t think I’ll be sad.
I can do what he said and look in the mirror because I have his face.
The door of the wooden den opens, and Jensen runs in. He frowns at me. Then looks at my hand before he says, “You’re Kane.”
I nod and put my hand with the crossed-out A in my pocket.
It’s another rule, one that lets people know which one is Asher and which one is Not-Asher.
Jensen hides in the corner, and I turn my head so he doesn’t speak to me.
He’s on Asher’s list of friends. Last time I spoke to someone on his list, he threw them in the pool when he knew they couldn’t swim.
The other boy hit his head on the side and there was blood everywhere.
It’s better to hide and I get to watch the girl.
She doesn’t cry even though her face is red.
She just gets up and stands at the side of the playground, away from the sand, to clean her dress.
Her cheeks puff out and she looks funny as she wipes her hands down the pink puffy dress to get the sand off it.
Her knees are red too, and I look up at the sound of laughing.
One of the nannies is talking to Asher as he stands on the rope bridge connecting the slide to the metal playhouse.
She’s telling him off, but he just laughs and runs away.
His foot gets tangled in the rope and his leg sticks out when he slips through it.
The nanny must be new. Now she puts her hand on the bottom of his shoe and his face turns red.
That’s bad.
Even Mommy doesn’t help Asher in front of people, because when his face goes red, he does bad things.
But the new nanny doesn’t know the rules, so she helps him get down.
Asher doesn’t kick her like he does to Johanna, our nanny.
He runs away again. I leave the wooden den now that there’s not two of us anymore.
I’m about to run after him so he can’t hurt the new nanny when something hits me. It’s a person, and I look to the side to see the girl. Her face isn’t red anymore and she smiles at me as she asks, “Can I play with you?”
I should tell her I’m Not-Asher, but she keeps smiling at me and talking.
“I don’t have any friends because I’m new. But my sisters said that if I ask to play with someone then I’ll make friends.”
I nod and keep my hand in my pocket. She doesn’t mention Asher, so maybe she can be on my list instead of his and I can have a friend too.
She grabs my hand and starts running. I don’t know where she’s going but I like her hand in mine. It’s nice and warm. Her giggles are the same. I like them instead of hearing her scream like when she was falling.
We keep running until we get to the other side of the playground.
The trees smell funny, and she jumps up on the tree stump to hide without letting go of my hand.
Her dress floats out as she spins, and her smile is even bigger.
I can see the gap from a tooth she must have lost. But it doesn’t make her look funny.
She makes a fist and taps on the tree without looking away from me.
“Knock. Knock,” she says, laughing to herself.
“Who’s there?” I ask. I know the jokes from the woman who works at Daddy’s office.
“Delilah,” the girl says.
“Delilah, who?”
“Delilah, who’s going to change your life.” She holds her hand over her mouth and giggles as she finishes the joke.
It’s not funny, but I smile because I like her laugh. She stops and lets go of my hand. I don’t put it in my pocket in case she wants to hold it again and say, “That wasn’t a joke.”
Her hair wobbles when she shakes her head and jumps off the tree stump.
“It was. My daddy says it, and everyone always laughs. But he says Harkin, because that’s his name to other people, but my name is Delilah.”
She looks at the ground before she walks on the wood chips and then lifts her head to smile at me again.
“What’s your name?” she asks.
“Kane.” I whisper it, so Asher doesn’t hear me tell anyone my real name.
The girl, Delilah, smiles bigger and doesn’t say my name is wrong, so I walk into the trees with her. Asher won’t be able to hurt her now. She’s going to be the first person on my list, and I don’t have to think about her being his friend.
That means I’m allowed to talk to her, so I copy her joke.
“Knock. Knock.”
“Who’s there?” she asks, and turns with a big smile on her face.
“Delilah.”
“Delilah who?” she says, giggling again.
“Delilah who’s pretty,” I whisper.
She doesn’t go red like Mommy does when Daddy calls her pretty or beautiful. She tilts her head to the side and little lines go across her nose as she asks, “Are you a prince?”
I shake my head.
“Oh. My daddy said I have to stay clean until I get the prince because I’m a princess. Do you know any games where I can stay clean?”
I nod and drop down to my knees to clean the stump so she doesn’t get her clothes dirty. I don’t know who her prince is, but I don’t want her to have one. If I make sure she’s clean, then I can be it. When there’s no mud on the stump, I hold her hand and pull her down to sit in front of me.
She has pink stuff stuck to her socks and I try to clean it for her, but she stamps her feet. “No, they’re my special frills.”
I nod and quickly tell her about the game I always play to make her happy again.
“You don’t get dirty playing at all because it’s in your head. So, you can play any time and you can be anyone.”
My words come out faster, and she smiles again. I like Delilah’s smiles. She’s pretty and I know why she’s a princess. All princesses are pretty.
She strokes her dress over her knees and the lines come back in her nose as she says, “I don’t like this game. Nothing’s happening.”
“Okay, I’ll go in your head and then we’ll play?”
She nods, and I squeeze my eyes shut as I lean closer to her so she can play too.
Table of Contents
- Page 1 (Reading here)
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
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- Page 25
- Page 26
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- Page 28
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