Page 4 of Desperate Temptations (Immoral Starts)

FOUR

TRENT

I take a bite of my burrito just as a hard shove to my shoulders from behind startles me.

“Stay away from my boyfriend!”

Rolling my eyes, I turn to face whatever ignorant cheerleader believes I have a crush on her loser footballer boyfriend. “Look, sweetheart. I don’t fucking want your ? —”

Lyndsey stands before me with a pissed off expression and crossed arms. I swallow my words, not finishing the sentence, and set my food down. My heart is beating erratically in my chest, fear claws at my throat. My best friend’s girlfriend doesn’t like me on a good day, now she’s screaming this.

“Lyndsey? What’s going on? Is Ethan okay?” I ask, wiping at the corner of my mouth for any leftover sauce and to keep my shaking hands occupied.

She scoffs and comes closer, pointing a nail at my chest. “Shane told me what happened. That you moaned Ethan’s name while you guys were hooking up. I knew it! I fucking knew it and you guys made me feel crazy!”

I shake my head, grabbing her wrist when she tries to walk away. “Whatever Shane told you. It’s a lie.”

Her eyebrow raises. “Your boyfriend lied about you saying another guy’s name as if that’s not embarrassing on his part?”

“It didn’t happen like that, Lyndsey. I was dreaming. I can’t control ? —”

“So you’re dreaming about Ethan?! How is that any better?”

I groan, letting go of her to rub a hand down my face. “You can’t control dreams. You’re telling me you’ve never dreamed of someone you shouldn’t.”

Her cheeks pinken, but she narrows her eyes. “It’s different because I know you have a crush on him.”

“Ok, and? A crush is a crush. He doesn’t want me, and I’d never pursue him like that.”

Lyndsey shakes her head, biting down on her lip as she glances across the yard. “You don’t get it.”

I wave my hands, annoyed with her accusations. “What don’t I get?”

“He’d choose you. If he had to pick between me or you, he’d choose you.”

A dangerous hope blooms in my chest, but I grind down on my teeth to stare at her blankly. “He loves you, Lynds.”

She gives me a bitter smile. “Not as much as you, even if it’s only as friends.”

“Then don’t make him choose. I’m not, so it’s not a big deal.”

“But you are,” she says, rolling her eyes. “You are because you’ve filled his head with these crazy ideas about traveling the world. You live off your grandmother’s trust, Trent. Your world is not his world.”

Confusion has my eyebrows knitting together. “It’s just for the summer. A few months of us traveling and ? —”

“My daddy has him set up for an internship at his company that could change his life, and he’s thinking of turning it down… for you. And you’re too selfish and in love to let him go. You’re ruining his life!”

A rock burrows in my stomach, dread spiraling in my lungs as I stare at her. Am I ruining his life? I thought he wanted to travel with me as much as I wanted to travel with him. The plan has always been for him to come back after a leap year and start college.

Lyndsey’s lips twist into a satisfied smirk. “You know I’m right, don’t you?”

I swallow down the emotion. “Have you asked Ethan if that’s what he wants?”

She rolls her eyes. “If I did, we both know what he’d choose. Who wants to start a job right out of school? But we’re not kids anymore. We have to think about our future. I think… I’m pregnant.”

My mouth drops open. “Does Ethan know?”

Lyndsey shakes her head, touching her stomach lightly. “It’s too early to know for sure, but you can see what I mean now, right?”

Blinking awake, I roll onto my side and rub the center of my chest, trying to dispel the feelings of that old memory.

I revisit it a lot, wondering what would have happened if I had stood up to Lyndsey.

Months after graduation, I looked for pregnancy announcements from either of them.

I didn’t like to think Lyndsey lied about such a thing, and perhaps she really thought she was when she confronted me, but we’ll never know.

But I know the day Ethan confessed his uncertainty about starting the job, I had convinced him to take it.

I convinced him that opportunities like that don’t come up often, and we could travel whenever we want.

I never thought a decade later we’d have never taken that trip, and that we’d grow more distant with each passing year.

Instead I sometimes met up with him and Lynds.

Then I spent the time remembering why I avoided that dreadful woman all together.

I glance over at Ethan’s sleeping form, a weird sense of regret pillowing in my gut.

We could have possibly avoided all this if I had spoken up, but we were just kids and how was I supposed to know how it would go?

I’m sure there are some parts that Ethan doesn’t regret.

Getting off the bed, I stretch out my stiff body before moving out to the balcony, ensuring I don’t make any noise.

A selfish part of me is glad to have my best friend back, even at the expense of Lyndsey’s life. But I can’t imagine where his future will go now, especially if the child turns out to be his. All I know is that I’m pretty sure I want to stick around and find out.

I jump a little when the door opens and Ethan sits on the chair opposite me. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Shaking my head, I raise an eyebrow. “You?”

“No. Man, I wish we had a joint right now.”

My lips quirk. “I could probably get us one, but the dealer is kind of clingy and I don’t like getting his hopes up.”

Ethan laughs softly. “But you’d do it for me?”

I shrug. “And the weed.”

He shakes his head. “I’m good. I won’t subject you to such exploitation.”

“Only the kind that gets us free rooms,” I say with a snort.

I’m joking, but his face falls.

“I promise I’ll pay you back once I know for sure they can’t track my movements.”

I wave my hand. “I wasn’t being serious, Ethan. Just because I prefer to live frugally doesn’t mean I don’t have the money in the bank. Actually, I ended up finding an investor when I was in Amsterdam, and he’s doubled Granny’s trust since I was a teen.”

Ethan’s mouth drops open. “No shit?”

“Yeah. Don’t tell Marie though. She cleared out her savings for a house I advised her against. And you know how her husband is.”

A grimace works on his face. “She’s still with him?”

“Yup.” I nod. “Just had her third kid last year.”

“Damn, he latched onto her tight, didn’t he?”

The hatred I have for my brother-in-law grows brighter. “Yeah, I mean… who would leave their meal ticket? He knows I’d never let Marie or the kids go without anything. So his job hopping to whatever suits his fancy at the moment is like his dream come true.”

Ethan sighs. “Marie is way too good for him. He’s a fucking loser.”

I hum in agreement. “Sometimes people are just blind.” I wince as soon as I hear the words and he lets out a hollow laugh.

“Yeah, that’s the damn truth.”

My tongue rolls over the back of my teeth, debating if I should bring it up or let it go. There’s no real reason to mention it. She’s dead and we can’t go back in time.

Ethan turns and faces me, his eyes studying my face. “You look constipated.”

I snort. “Just thinking.”

“Must not be good thoughts then.”

“Just the past,” I say with a shrug.

Fuck, I could go for a joint right now too.

“Our past?” he probes.

Blowing out an exasperated breath, I turn to watch the city. “You know the summer after high school graduation? When we wanted to take that trip around Europe and then some of Asia? Lyndsey begged me to stop it.”

Ethan rears back. “What do you mean she begged you to stop it?”

“I mean, she told me she thought she was pregnant and that her father had a job lined up for you. And she begged me to cancel the trip.”

His mouth is open when I look at him and he swallows.

“She said she was pregnant?”

I nod. “I don’t know if it was true or not, I didn’t really ask her to prove it.”

“She never said anything to me.”

Fury darkens his expression and I sit up straighter.

“We don’t know if she lied, she could have miscarried.”

Ethan scoffs. “Don’t defend the bitch. At this point, I don’t care either way. She’s manipulated me my entire life and I’m sick of it.”

“I didn’t tell you that to make you angry, Ethan. Just something that was on my mind,” I say with a sigh, knowing I should have kept it to myself.

He shakes his head. “No, I want to know it all. I feel like everyone just kept me out of the loop and walked on eggshells around her.”

I grimace. “No offense, but she was kind of scary… and a bitch.”

Ethan’s lips quirk. “Yeah, but I kind of liked that about her.”

I snort and roll my eyes. “Yeah I know. Come on, let's try to get some sleep. We got a long few days ahead of us.”