Page 61 of Desired By you (Always & Forever #3)

“No, I’m not. You’re a free man, do what you want.

As a matter of fact, please, leave, go find her, and fuck her into next week.

” I take another swig, my anger reaching a boiling point.

Why am I so mad, I have no right to be. These are the consequences of my actions and my decisions.

I’m blaming him, but the only person I should be angry at is myself.

He takes a step closer, and I take a step back.

“Is that what you want, Gabriella? For me to go to her and fuck her.”

I swallow down the bile that works its way up my throat. The idea of him being with Cassidy is making me feel physically sick.

“I don’t really care.” Lies, complete lies.

He takes another step closer and as I take one back, my back hits the wall and I gasp.

He lets out an amused scoff as he leans a forearm above my head, boxing me in, and suddenly it feels hard to take a breath.

He trails an index finger from my throat, down my chest, along my exposed skin, leaving a burning heat as he moves down my body.

“So, you’d be okay with me bending her over, burying my cock into her tight cunt, and fucking her?”

“I…” I try to speak. My chest is rising and falling so rapidly I’ve forgotten how to breathe. A deep burning jealousy now taking over. “Sure,” I say as steadily as I can. “Then I’ll give Patrick a ca…”

I don’t finish my sentence. His hand wraps around my throat and I drop the bottle of rosé, letting it shatter onto my hardwood flooring. “Like fuck you will,” he growls before his lips come crashing down on mine.

I fold and let him devour me. I don’t want to play this game anymore. I want him, and only him.

His grip on my throat tightens a little, just enough to earn a deep moan from me.

He releases me and lifts me by the waist, his shoes crunching against the broken glass as he carries me to the bed and tosses me onto it.

I’m up on my knees, crawling to the edge and as he begins unbuttoning his shirt, I get to work on his buckle, needing to taste him.

But he stops me, gripping my chin with his thumb and forefinger, pulling my gaze to focus on his. Heat blazes in his eyes and it sends a thrill through my body. He brushes the pad of his thumb over my mouth, no doubt smudging what’s left of my red lipstick.

He pushes his thumb into my mouth, and I instantly suck. He groans in pleasure and then pulls his thumb out of my mouth. I waste no time pulling his pants and briefs down his thick thighs and take him into my mouth.

I’ve never felt like this; the need for him so intense it makes me feel dizzy.

I swirl my tongue over his wet tip, flicking my tongue over his piercing, and then take him all the way in until his cock hits the back of my throat.

“Fuck, baby, yes, suck my cock.” He gathers my hair into his hand as my head bobs up and down his hard length.

The need for some friction becomes too much and I reach a hand between my legs and begin rubbing circles over my clit as I continue to suck his cock. He pulls back, his chest heaving, breathing ragged as he looks down at me on my knees for him, a wild look in his whiskey eyes.

And to my shock, he pulls up his pants.

“What are you doing?” I pant.

“I’m not doing this with you, I… I can’t.” He runs a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Can’t do what?” I feel my heart fracturing, sending an unbearable pain through my chest.

“Cassidy, because of her.? I’m sorry, I...” I stutter.

“What?” he hisses. “No, it’s got nothing to do with her, she means nothing to me, Gabriella.

I can’t do this because I can’t do this,” he gestures between us, “and then watch as you go running back to him. It’s fucking tearing me up inside.

The thought of you being with him, him touching you, him…

” His voice shakes on the last word as his face contorts in pain and a lead weight of guilt lands in my stomach.

“What?” My words are barely a whisper as I step closer and press my hands against his chest. His nostrils flare as he squeezes his eyes shut.

“Treat you like you’re nothing. There’s something going on and you won’t tell me and I need to know.”

“Why?” I fist the lapels of his shirt. A lone tear rolls down my cheek as I silently beg for him to the say the words I’m desperate to hear.

“Because I want to fix it for you.”

I shake my head. “Why?” I choke on a sob.

He rests his chin on my head as I let my silent tears fall. Is this it? Is the moment I tell him how badly I’ve messed up and the web of lies I’ve got myself caught up in. “Why?” I repeat. Waiting for his answer, but it doesn’t come.

I take a step back and look into his eyes, which looked hollow and pained. I hate myself for causing this, but I can’t keep a lid on my emotions; it all comes bubbling to the surface. “You can’t fix this for me,” I yell, making him flinch.

“Yes, I can,” he says reassuringly.

I shake my head rapidly.

“No, no you can’t. This is all my fault, my doing. It’s me who has to fix it, not you, and I’m sorry if that hurts but you just have to trust me that I know what I’m doing and—” I’m rambling, the words falling out of my mouth like it's confession time.

“Gabriella, please, let me—”

“No, you don’t get it, this is my fault, I messed up, again, and now this is my punishment, I don’t deserve your kindness. I don’t even deserve you, but I do deserve your hatred, so just leave, please, I’ll fix this, but you need to go if you can’t stand to be around me.”

“Tell me what’s going on.”

“I can’t.”

“Why.”

“Because… Because I can’t.”

“Gabriella, please, there isn’t a thing you could say that would change how I feel about you.”

I close my eyes, squeeze them shut and pray that when I open them he will disappear and this conversation no longer exists. I want to believe them, but if I say it all out loud, the gravity of what I’ve done will become too much and he will never look at me in the same way.

“Why?” It’s a stupid question but it’s all I can manage.

“Because I’m fucking in love with you, Gabriella,” he bellows and a silence so deafening you could hear a pin dropping falls between us.

I feel like I’ve had the wind knocked out of me. I reach for the bed frame and sit on the edge of the mattress. “You love me?” I repeat in utter shock.

He falls to his knees in front of me and cups my face.

“Yes, I’m in love with you. I’ve loved you for years, but knew I couldn’t give you everything you wanted, everything you deserve.

But if you want to get married? I’ll marry you tonight, you want kids?

I’ll give you three. You want the suburban life in the country, let’s move.

” He takes my hand and places it over where his heart beats.

“Because this, this right here, you made it beat again. You made me see color again, made me breathe again. I’ll give you the world, Gabriella, if you just let me.

So, please, don’t be with him. Be with me. ”

My forehead falls to his as I take a second to register his words. He loves me, wants to give me the world, and I want to let him. I’m done with this, I don’t care about the repercussions. I’m done with it all.

“Say something, please.” His voice is pained.

I take a deep breath and a leap of faith that whatever happens after this, he’ll have my back.

“I love you too.” I throw my arms around him and press my lips to his.

He rises, never letting me go, and places me on the bed, covering my body with his.

He tugs at the zipper on my dress and slides it down my body, peppering kisses over my bare breasts and down my body, every one striking my body like a match, setting me on fire.

The need for him to take me, to claim me, to truly make me his is so strong.

I slide my panties off as he tears at his shirt and briefly gets off the bed to remove the rest of his clothes and then his body his back, hovering over mine.

I hook a leg around his waist, as he sucks on my neck in that sensitive spot.

He slides deep inside of me and with every thrust he becomes harder and thicker.

He angles my hips allowing him to take me deeper, so deep that we now feel a part of one another.

It’s a heady mix of something I can’t decipher.

It’s passionate yet rough, and at the same time, I have never felt more connected to him or felt this level of passion.

Our eyes meet, and it all feels too much. I want to cry, scream out in pleasure, declare my love for him over and over again.

“You are so fucking beautiful, Gabriella.” He rolls his hips, hitting that spot that has my back arching off the mattress. “… and so fucking mine.”

“Yes,” I breathe out as the wave of pleasure works its way through my body. “I’m yours,” I pant and then I detonate. He swallows my cries as he finds his own release, a deep growl erupting from his chest as he spills inside of me which prolongs my pleasure.

I tighten my grip around his waist with my leg, not wanting him to slide out of me just yet.

Not wanting this moment where only he and I exist to end, where I have to face the reality of my choices and finally come clean.

No, I want to cling to this moment, where everything feels perfect, where only our love and us matter; the last moment of calm before everything could come crashing down around us.