Page 40 of Desired By you (Always & Forever #3)
Chapter Thirty-One
Gabriella
We’ve been back from LA for a few days now. I haven’t been able to see Brad as I’ve been busy teaching classes, visiting my parents to make up for the missed dinners, and trying to dodge Patrick’s calls, and if I’m being totally honest, I’m avoiding Brad.
LA changed everything, and now I’m more conflicted than ever.
He is what I want. While I was trying to get to a place where I would be confident enough in my own skin to find a man to settle down with, I’ve ended up falling for someone I consider one of my best friends.
My best friend who doesn’t want the same future as me, who doesn’t do relationships, or forever.
But if there’s one thing he’s taught me, it’s to be brave.
I need to stop stringing Patrick along, and then maybe it will free up the space to pluck up the courage to speak to Brad and tell him how I feel.
If I looked back and was being truly honest with myself, it’s always been there.
This little spark that’s been busy burning silently in the background, left unattended and ignored until it started to grow, and now it’s become bigger than either of us to manage alone.
Yes, today is the day you are brave.
I pick up my phone and send a message to Patrick.
Gabriella
Hey, I’m back from my trip. Are you free to meet for coffee this afternoon?
I place the phone down on the kitchen island and write a quick note for Ali.
She lands this morning, and I’ve missed her so damn much.
Ria got back from her Disney trip yesterday too.
It’s the longest I’ve gone without seeing either of them, and if it weren’t for Brad and that complicated mess, I’d have felt so lost and alone.
I pick up the stash of mail I’ve been saving for Ali and leave it beside the kettle, knowing she’ll be wanting a cup of tea as soon as she gets in, and put the note on top.
My phone vibrates against the marble counter and Patrick’s name flashes across the screen.
I open the message and I should be excited by his reply but I’m not, so I know what I’m about to do is for the best.
Patrick
Sure am. I’ve missed your pretty face. I’ll be at Joe’s coffee shop by Central Park at 1 pm.
I sit across the table from Patrick. He’s dressed in a navy polo and jeans, looking like the pretty preppy boy he is.
I opted for a more casual look with leggings and a cropped t-shirt, and tennis shoes.
I am past caring now or feeling like I need to make an effort for Patrick.
After today, we will be nothing more than acquaintances that say hello if we see each other in passing.
As usual, I’ve listened, and he’s talked, and I’m grateful that Joe’s coffee shop is so busy because it’s given many opportunities to zone out and people watch as Patrick droned on about his job.
“…. does that work for you?” is all I catch.
“Sorry, what did you ask?” I ask, shaking my head.
“The Hamptons, this weekend? You and me?”
A sinking feeling in my stomach hits me. This is it, the moment I break this thing that isn’t really a thing off. But he seems like a nice guy. I’m sure he will be cool about it.
I take a deep breath and offer a sympathetic smile.
“Patrick, you’re a nice guy. I’m just not sure I’m looking for anything at the moment. I’d love to stay friends.” Lies, but I need to try and soften the blow. “I hope you understand. It’s not you, it’s a me thing,” I continue. Yes, that’s it. Blame yourself and people please, Gabby.
A suffocating silence falls between and I watch his face morph like a Disney character from a gentle expression to narrowed eyes and a look of pure evil steaming off him.
He cracks his neck and swallows hard. Panic simmers under my skin, and I’m relieved I did this in a public place where I feel somewhat safe.
“Yeah, the thing is, Gabby.” My name leaves his mouth with venom. “That’s not really going to work for me. I need you. I’ve got goals, and you’re going to help me get there.”
I furrow my brows, completely confused. He must read my expression because he continues, lowering his voice. “Your dad and your last name can open doors for me, especially in the legal and political sector. Your dad knows people, and I need his recommendations to get me ahead.”
My voice gets lodged in my throat and I want to get up and run. “Patrick, I… I don’t understand what I can do? I can talk to my dad, get him to write a letter or…”
He throws his head back and cackles. It's evil and calculated, and I fear he’s been wearing a mask this entire time.
“Men like your dad don’t just do favors for people, Gabby, just because you ask.
Don’t be so fucking na?ve.” I flinch at his words, but he continues, “Your dad is one of the most respected judges in New York City, his opinion, his words and his last name holds weight, so if I am with his daughter and he considers me to be the perfect potential son-in-law, I’ll be able to walk into any law firm I want and land any role. ”
I blink, staring at him, trying to process what he’s saying. This is not what I expected at all from him.
“I don’t need you to be with me. I just need you to pretend. You know, attend functions with me, sing my praises to your parents, play the part.”
I gulp. “And if I refuse? You can’t make me date you, Patrick. What are you going to do?”
A cruel grin sweeps across his face. “I’m glad you asked.
” He lifts his phone from his pocket, taps on the screen, and slides it over to me.
A video of a girl dancing on a stage in a black leotard and a red mask spins around a pole and works the stage, then moves into a crowd of men. The girl is me.
The blood drains from my body, and my vision blurs. “W-why are you showing me this? I don’t know who this is.” My voice cracks as I try my best at ignorance.
“Swipe right and keep going.”
With a shaking hand, I swipe the screen, and there, in color, is a photo of me and Brad in the alley outside of the club the night he discovered my secret.
We are in a conversation, and it looks intense.
I swipe again, and it's Brad, cupping my face and kissing me.
The next photo is of both our startled faces looking directly at the camera.
I freeze. Tears prick at my eyes, and the background noise fades until all I can hear is the erratic beating of my heart.
There’s no getting out of this, no denying, no running, no lying.
It’s all there, the part of my life I’ve left hidden, the part I’ve let myself have, so I could feel free has now been stolen from me and used against me so someone else can gain control of my life. I want the ground to open and take me.
Patrick’s voice snaps me from my free fall into darkness. “I was there that night, that bachelor party, that was Henry’s, and I must say you know how to work a pole. Who knew quiet little Gabriella Monroe was such a slut? Do you fuck the men too, or is that extra?”
Every word he spits feels like a slap to the face. It stings and now the tears begin rolling down my cheeks and fall to the table. I swipe them away, scared someone will see, and Patrick will spill my secrets.
“Imagine my shock when the girl in the mask was you. But really it was perfect. I have you right where I need you. So, if you refuse, which you’d be wise not to, I’ll be sending these to Daddy. Imagine the scandal? I can see the headlines now: Judge Monroe’s only daughter is a stripper.”
Bile works its way up my throat. This can’t be happening again. I’ve spent the last ten years making up for my mistakes, and now I am right back where I started. This would ruin my dad’s life. My body doesn’t feel like my own. The heaviness in my chest makes it hard to breathe.
I had Patrick all wrong. He’s evil, selfish, conniving.
How could he do this to someone? How could I have been so stupid to think no one would discover my secret?
How na?ve was I to think I could finally be free and live my life the way I wanted, be with who I wanted?
No , I’m now back where I was ten years ago. Doing as I’m told and keeping quiet.
“Fine, but I’m not sleeping with you or touching you.”
He barks out a laugh. “I don’t want your pussy, sweetheart.
I’ve got women for that. No, I just need your pretty face, you on my arm, and your last name in my back pocket.
” He swipes the phone and puts it back in his pocket.
“So, this has been good. There’s a dinner I need you to attend with me this weekend.
I believe your parents are going, so get us on the list.” He rises to his feet and walks away without another word, leaving me alone while my entire world crumbles around me, along with any chance of a forever with Brad.
Well done, Gabriella, you fucked up… again.