Page 16

After breakfast, Colton and Emma lingered at the table, drinking coffee and talking about their plans for the day. Colton thought both Emma and Rosie looked well rested and content, which pleased him greatly.

“I will say that while this doesn’t yet feel like home, it is a nice house,” Emma began. “I got a good night’s sleep last night and feel as though I can conquer the world once again. What about you, Colton? How have you found things at the Coopers’ boardinghouse?”

“Very well. They run a fine establishment. It’s not home, of course, but I’m impressed with their attention to detail. It’s very clean, not a bit of dust.”

“Around here, that’s quite a feat. The wind blows so much, and there are vast open fields and prairie. It’s hard not to have dust.”

“What are your plans for the day?” Colton picked up his coffee and smiled. “Rosie sounded like something’s afoot.”

“We were invited back to the Vogels’ for a tea with some of the church ladies I grew up with. They have a sewing circle and invited Rosie and me to participate, but first they figured to have us come and get acquainted.”

“And you already know these people?”

“Many of them.” Emma dabbed her mouth with her napkin, then placed it beside her dish. “What about you? Do you have important matters to address today?”

“Well, after seeing the banker yesterday, I want to return and make sure that everything is set in place.”

“We signed all the paperwork for the house and paid the price in full. What else could there be?”

“I want to complete setting up your bank account. I’ll finish arranging for most of your money to be transferred here from Texas, or at least available to you here.

It might be prudent to keep an account in Dallas as well, since you’ll be traveling back and forth with Rosie.

There are also some other business details that I thought I would handle for you.

Fire insurance on the house, for example. ”

“How thoughtful. I would never have thought of such a thing.”

Colton smiled. He could well imagine that most of the serious things of life had completely passed unnoticed by Emma prior to her wedding tragedy.

He had to admit that he preferred this more thoughtful and reserved Emma to the woman who cared nothing for the conventions of society.

Still, he hoped she wouldn’t lose her joyful nature.

It was something he very much loved about her.

Previously, he had rarely ever seen her downcast or sad.

Now as she passed her days in mourning for his brother, Colton saw her as more fragile than she’d been before.

“Are you feeling fully recovered from the injury?”

Emma seemed to consider the question for a moment. “I am. The scar will remain as a reminder, but the pain of the wound is gone. I don’t suppose many women of my society can boast having been shot, but here I am.”

“It was a tragic day that won’t soon be forgotten.”

Emma’s expression softened. “I know you miss Tommy deeply. He always felt you were the only one of his brothers who truly cared about him or understood him. Although I’m not sure even Tommy understood himself.”

“I suppose I appreciated, in part, his ability to cast aside the mantle of responsibility and enjoy life. At the same time, I worried that he would forever be reckless and negligent. He trusted me to invest his money for him and to advise him on a variety of things, but when I disagreed with his plans, he was strong enough to stand up to me.”

“Like when he told you we were to be married?” Emma smiled. “I’ll bet you didn’t think I knew about that, did you?”

Colton wasn’t surprised that Tommy had told her of his disapproving of their marriage. “Tommy never was one for keeping his mouth shut.”

Emma frowned. “Except about Stella. I can’t help but wonder if there were others in the same situation.”

“We might know in time, but personally I have no knowledge of them. I suppose in a sense I understand why he sought them out. I believe losing our mother was just too much for him. And of course, our father offered no comfort. Tommy needed our mother, and when she was taken from him, he pretty much sought love wherever he could find it. At least what he thought was love.”

“I never considered that. It’s all too sad.”

“It hardened me. I suppose Walt and Ernest were the same, but Tommy was different. He was just eleven. Father hadn’t yet overwhelmed him with a focus on business. I think our mother insisted he be allowed to be a child. In some ways, I don’t think Tommy ever grew up.”

“No.” Emma seemed almost lost in her thoughts.

“Perhaps he needed that to hold on to your mother. He often talked about how much he missed her. It was one of the reasons he didn’t really care to be a father.

He told me he didn’t want to be anything like his father, and he didn’t want to risk subjecting a child to losing a parent the way he had. ”

Colton felt his chest tighten. “I once found Tommy crying in his room not long after our mother died. I was eighteen and ill-equipped to be of any comfort, but I did my best. I held him and spoke to him.”

“Yes, you did.” Emma looked up. “It saved him.”

“What do you mean?”

“He told me about it. Said you were so tender with him and promised him that you’d never leave him to fend for himself against your father and brothers.

He said until that moment, he wanted to die and join his mother.

He was so afraid of being without her—of not having anyone who would care whether he lived or died.

But you convinced him he wouldn’t be alone.

That you would always be there for him. And that he could be himself with you. He could grieve with you.”

“I didn’t know it meant that much. I didn’t know he wanted to die.” Colton shook his head and ran his hand through his hair.

They fell silent for several long minutes.

Colton could hear the tick of the mantel clock and knew he should probably end this conversation and go about his business.

But he didn’t want to leave Emma’s company.

Here in the quiet of her house, he felt comfortable enough to just be himself and speak his mind.

Perhaps in time, he’d feel capable of telling Emma about his true feelings for her.

“Why didn’t you want Tommy to marry me?”

Her question surprised him. He could hardly tell her the truth. Would she even believe him if he told her that he didn’t want Tommy to marry her because he wanted to do the deed himself?

“To be quite honest, Tommy was so immature that I feared he’d make a poor husband and father. He was very self-centered in his thinking and actions. I knew he wouldn’t take marriage seriously and that you would get hurt in the long run.”

Emma showed no surprise at his comments. “He was never serious for long. He enjoyed himself too much to linger on obligations.”

“Exactly. And a husband cannot be that way. He must always consider the needs of his wife and family. Marriage changes everything.”

“How odd you should say so since you’ve never been married.”

Colton shrugged. “But my other brothers married, and a good many friends did as well. I watched carefully how it changed their lives. Taking on the responsibility of a wife and home is one that needs serious attention.”

“Do you suppose you’ll ever marry?”

The longing to tell her how he felt was like nothing he’d ever known before.

He studied her for a moment, losing himself in her dark-eyed gaze.

He was forty years old and had only financial prosperity to show for his days on earth.

Many men would find that to be enough, but Colton wanted more. ... He wanted Emma.

“I hope so,” he finally answered.

Emma smiled. “Then perhaps you’ll find someone here in Cheyenne.”

His nerves were about to get the best of him. He got to his feet in an abrupt fashion. “Maybe I will, but it won’t happen sitting at the table.” He forced a chuckle, lest she think she’d upset him. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’ll take my leave.”

“Will you be back for lunch?” Emma, too, got to her feet.

“No, probably not. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you at dinner. And you needn’t walk me out.”

He left her there and hurried to the front door, where he took up his hat and coat. Colton didn’t even pause to put them on but left the house for fear he might say something he’d regret. He hadn’t told Rosie good-bye and hoped she wouldn’t be upset with him.

His insides were churning by the time he reached the bank.

How was it possible that one woman could make him feel so overcome with emotions?

He’d never been the type to lose himself in feelings, yet every time he was near Emma, Colton was like a schoolboy.

Uncertain and confused by the sensation of love and desire that had never before been an issue.

If he’d been a praying man, he might have sought divine direction, but as it was, he’d never had cause to lean in such a manner.

So as usual, he’d have to face this on his own.

Emma’s nerves were getting the best of her when she and Rosie joined the other women for tea at Marybeth Vogel’s house. Marybeth introduced her.

“Ladies, this is Emma Johnson Benton and her sister-in-law, Rosie Benton.” Marybeth moved to an older woman who looked to be in her sixties. “This is Faith Cooper, but I’m sure you remember her.”

Emma indeed remembered Mrs. Cooper. She owned the boardinghouse where Colton was staying. Mrs. Cooper also attended the church Emma had grown up in.

“And this is Melody Decker,” Marybeth continued.

“I remember you well, Emma.”

Emma smiled. “I hope the memories aren’t too terrible, Mrs. Decker. I was incorrigible as a child.”