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Chapter 14

I wake with a start, gasping for air, my heart hammering in my chest. Another nightmare, another night of reliving it. Oh God, will it ever stop? How do I make it stop? I glance at the clock: 2:05 AM. My limbs feel heavy as I throw off the covers, my chest tight with a wave of emotion. I bite my lip, desperate to hold back the tears threatening to spill. The memories assault me with no mercy.

At twelve, my life had been perfect. My parents and I lived in a beautiful house. My mom had let me paint my room bright pink just last month. They were always gone, but that meant I had the freedom to do whatever I wanted. Nina, our housekeeper, made my breakfast and packed my lunch for school. Tonight, though, I was excited—my parents were taking me to a dinner party at their friends’ house. They were leaving me to babysit their two sons, and I was being paid for it. My mom and Mrs. Tammy had been best friends for years. I adored Mrs. Tammy—she was so kind. Their children, Phillip and Chad, were six and four, and were like little brothers I never had.

My dad and Mr. William were also good friends, often spending Sundays on the golf course. William was fine, I guess, but I didn’t always like the way he looked at me after a few too many drinks. Still, he always had my favorite candy ready for me.

I couldn’t wait to wear my favorite pink dress. I was definitely a girly girl, not yet old enough for makeup, but my mom let me wear clear lip gloss. With a bag of snacks in hand, I raced down the stairs when my mom called my name. She didn’t like tardiness, and I could feel her approving gaze sweep over me when she saw me.

About thirty minutes later, we arrived at their house. It was much larger than ours—and ours was big. The driveway was full of fancy cars, parked by a man my mother referred to as a valet. Whatever that meant. A stranger opened the door to greet us. Mrs. Tammy was right behind him, and she smiled brightly at me before leading me upstairs to the “kids' living area.” My parents headed toward the large ballroom to join the other guests.

The boys dragged me to their playroom. They had so many toys, and the TV was playing an old Disney movie. The couch was comfy, and they fought over who would sit next to me. I giggled, telling them I’d sit in the middle.

Two hours later, Chad was asleep in the crook of my arm, and Phillip was fighting to keep his eyes open. I picked up Chad and carried him to his room, placing him gently in his toddler bed. Then I took Phillip to his room and began reading him a bedtime story. He drifted off almost instantly.

When I returned to the playroom, I turned off the movie and found a Nickelodeon show I liked. Settling onto the couch, I snacked on chips and sipped a Capri Sun.

A few hours later, I woke to something brushing against my leg. My eyes fluttered open, groggy, and I saw a familiar man sitting next to me.

“Look at you, Sleeping Beauty,” he slurred, his breath thick with the smell of liquor. His eyes were glazed over.

This didn’t feel right.

“Where’s my daddy?” I asked, my voice shaking.

“Don’t worry about that right now,” he said, his voice low and grating. “It’s just you and me, Sleeping Beauty.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, wishing I could be anywhere else as my life irrevocably changed.

I don’t know how long I lay there after, curled in a ball, numb both inside and out. Tammy and my mom came to find me when the party ended, and I remember seeing my favorite cinnamon candy resting on the couch next to me. I was too stunned to speak on the drive home.

The next day, I tried to tell my parents what had happened—what William had done to me—but they didn’t believe me. They stared at me in horror, insisting it must have been a dream, telling me I shouldn’t read such disturbing books.

That night changed everything. I was silenced and told never to speak of it again. They couldn’t risk a scandal—couldn’t let anything stain their perfect image or ruin their impeccable relationships.

A month later, I was shipped off to summer camp in Lake Falls. It was there I met Allie. She welcomed me with open arms, helping me break free of my shell, even if only for a little while. One night, she found me crying in bed, and I opened up about what had happened. She believed me and promised to keep my secret safe .

I learned how to be self-sufficient, gaining new skills with each passing summer: fire-making, fishing, and archery. By the end of my last summer there, I was ready for the next chapter in my life.

The summer I turned eighteen, I packed up my things, leaving my parents behind to start over. I haven’t had any contact with them since, not even when my mom has occasionally tried to reach out. I won’t let anyone hurt me like that again. And I’ll protect those who’ve suffered as I have.