Page 50 of Demon with Benefits (Hell Bent #3)

TONGUE-TIED

M EPH BLINKED GROGGILY, THE FOG IN HIS HEAD MAKING it hard to think. He was naked, sitting back on his heels with Iris in his lap.

Oh, and he was balls deep inside her. Nice.

But the pleasure endorphins pounding in his brain told him he’d already finished enjoying her, only he didn’t have an immediate memory of it. Not so nice. If he was going to fuck Iris, he damn well wanted to remember it.

She was limp, he realized, her head dropped back against him, her body sagging in his arms.

“Iris?”

He looked down. And saw blood all over her shoulder. And then the tangy electrifying taste of it registered on his tongue, and he realized what had happened.

“Iris! Oh, fuck—Iris!”

He pulled her off his lap and laid her gently down, fighting the urge to shake her violently. “Fucking wake up, Iris! Shit, damn it, fuck—”

She blinked groggily. He was so relieved he nearly threw up. And then she smiled sweetly at him like he hadn’t just nearly killed her. “Hey.”

Hey? She was half dead and covered in blood, and she was saying hey ?

Her eyes widened suddenly. “Meph!” She sat up so fast, their foreheads nearly collided. “You’re back!”

“What?”

“You shifted back!” She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

That was when he realized where they were.

The cold stone under them, the long shadows, the stagnant air. He swung his head around and saw the cave entrance behind them. Red sky showed through the opening. Sharp mountaintops sculpted the horizon.

“What the... ?”

He looked back at Iris, whose eyes had widened. “Do you not remember anything?”

He squeezed his eyes shut, fighting through the confusion. “No, I do. I—Shit—” He shook his head roughly. “I’m still stuck on the fact that I thought I killed you. Hang on.”

She snorted. “I’m fine.”

“You didn’t look fine when you were passed out in my arms and covered in blood!”

“I didn’t pass out. I was sleeping.” She reached out and rubbed his lower lip with her thumb. “And you got some blood right here. Bit of a messy eater, I see.” She smiled at him.

“I bit you. I drank your fucking blood until you passed out. And you were hurt—Your head!” A wave of memory returned, and he suddenly felt nauseous.

“Oh fuck, you were hurt. You were hurt, and I just dragged you into a cave and bit and fucked you. You were going to die! Oh fuck, I would have killed you!”

“Meph, Jesus, calm down! I’m fine.” She grabbed his hands, which were gripping his hair, and pulled them away, forcing him to look into her eyes. “Look at me. I’m fine.”

“But—”

“I’m more than fine. I’m fantastic. I’m better than I’ve ever been in my life.”

“But—”

“Stop panicking and think. Do you remember how we got here? Do you remember what happened?”

He took her advice and shut up. His head was spinning, and he needed to slow down and process.

“I shifted, and then Valefor—that bastard...” He shut his eyes, forcing himself to recall. “And I just watched. I listened to him. I let him...” Another wave of nausea rolled over him as he remembered standing there, watching Valefor drag Iris away, hit her, wound her.

“You didn’t. You helped me escape, remember? We left together and came here.”

“You hit your head, and I just dragged you into a cave and left you there. How is that helping?” Fuck, he was going to puke.

“Don’t you dare blame yourself. Everyone told me you were just this demented evil monster that sucked people’s souls, but you saved me. You took me here and you protected me.”

“But you could have died —”

“Yeah, you’re right, I probably should have gone to a hospital. But your demon didn’t understand that. He thought he was protecting me, and that—” To his vast surprise, she choked up. “That means so much more than I can ever say.”

“Shit.” Hardly an eloquent summary of his feelings, but he didn’t know what else to say. “Iris...”

“If your demon hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have found my power. I think he understood. I think he knew that I could heal myself if I just got over my crap.”

Meph winced. He wouldn’t give himself that much credit. Most of his thoughts in demon form revolved around the word hungry . “I don’t think—”

“It doesn’t matter.” She waved a hand. “Whatever the case, it’s because of him that I’m healed.

This is huge, Meph. I’ve never had this ability, and if I hadn’t figured it out, I never would have gotten it.

It was your demon who helped me get to this point, and I will always be grateful to him—to you —for it. ”

Meph dragged a hand down his face. “You can’t be grateful that I dragged you into a cave and left you to die. That’s not—”

“You didn’t do that! Stop saying that. You protected me. You were with me, holding me.”

“Babe, you have blood all over you. You don’t look very well protected to me.”

She shot him a look. “I have a tiny bit of blood on my shoulder, and that’s only because you got a little carried away.”

“That doesn’t make me feel better about this.”

“Well, I, for one, enjoyed it, and I don’t want you to ruin what was a special moment for me with your worrywart attitude.” She crossed her arms over her bare breasts, which momentarily distracted him. “I was so excited to get you back, but I already miss your demon form.”

He dragged his gaze back to her face. “What?”

She shrugged. “He’s not that bad. Honestly, I don’t see what all the fuss is about.”

“Not that bad?”

“No! He’s kind of cute.”

His jaw dropped.

“He took care of me. He gives amazing head, and he tried to communicate by hissing my name. It was sweet. I like him.”

There was a long pause while Meph tried to make sense of that.

“The demon is me, Iris,” he finally said. He looked at his hands. “It’s not some other entity. It’s me.”

“I know. I didn’t mean to make it sound like I don’t understand that, because I do. But, well, Raum described it like you were two different people.”

“Raum? When did you talk to him about this?”

“He called after you left your phone at my place, and I asked him about you. I know I made it seem like I didn’t care, but that wasn’t true.”

They both fell silent and stared at each other.

“I’m sorry—”

“I’m sorry—”

They snapped their mouths shut simultaneously. Meph smiled sheepishly. “You first.”

Iris cocked a brow. “You would make me go first.”

He lifted a hand and tucked a strand of blue hair behind her ear. “Nah, I’ll go first.”

“No, I was only kidding. I’ll—”

“I’m sorry, Iris. I never should have tried to force my shit on you.

My life is fucked up, and—Shit. The idea that you were in danger because of me?

It makes me sick. It makes me so mad I can’t even—What Valefor did to you.

..” He pulled his hand back and clenched it into a fist, turning his head away. “Shit. I’m not good at this.”

“Do you remember everything that happened while you were in demon form?”

He nodded. The memories were foggy and disconnected, like they had happened to someone else, but they were all there now. “I remember every fucking thing Val did, and how I just sat there watching, doing nothing—Jesus fuck, I fucking tortured you—”

“Don’t.” She put a finger on his cheek and guided him back to look at her. He could have resisted, but he let her lead him until their gazes collided.

“I was only asking because I wanted to know if you remembered what I said to you. When I was stuck in that hallucination, or whatever it was your demon does—”

“It’s an illusion.”

“Illusion, then. But you were behind those bars, and you told me you wanted to stay. Do you remember what I said to you?”

He swallowed and nodded.

“Then you know what I said.” Her voice shook slightly. “About how I feel about you.”

“Iris...”

“And then you know why I’m the one that owes you an apology.”

“You don’t owe me shit.”

“Yes, I do. Meph, I—You—” She broke off, swallowing hard and wiping furiously at her eyes to stop tears that hadn’t had a chance to fall yet. “Shit, I’m bad at this too.”

“You don’t have to explain.”

“Yes, I do. That you had the courage to say what you did, to tell me how you felt... It’s amazing. And I’m sorry I made you feel like your feelings didn’t matter, or that I didn’t value them, or that—”

“Iris, it’s fine.” He rubbed his face where it felt hot and looked away. “Can we not relive that humiliating moment? I had a panic attack during sex. It’s something I want to forget about for the rest of time.”

She actually laughed. “Fine, but only if you understand what I’m saying.”

He remembered her words again. I know it doesn’t make up for how I treated you, but I only said that shit to you because I’m falling for you, and it scares the piss out of me.

The memory was crystal clear, but he was afraid to acknowledge it, to ask her to explain. She was telling him to his face that she’d meant it, but he still had trouble believing her.

Maybe it was because he didn’t feel worthy. Maybe it was because he didn’t fully trust her.

Or maybe it was because the feelings scared the piss out of him too.

“We have to get out of here,” he said, forcing his attention to more pressing matters. “Val will regenerate from the feeding and come after us.”

Iris nodded and started collecting her discarded clothing.

There was no water for them to wash, so Meph sacrificed his boxers for clean-up duty and went commando under his sweats.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have a shirt because Valefor had taken it when he’d carved half his skin off, the bastard.

The wound had mostly healed now, leaving behind a bare patch of tattoo-free skin that looked decidedly incongruous.

“Where’d you get pants?” Iris asked, eyeing him as he pulled them on. “Unless you had them on all along?”

He couldn’t help laughing. “Like my demon wears pants? Have you seen him?”

“Well, what does he wear, then?”

“I dunno. The cloak of evil.”

She snorted. “And what’s under the cloak?”

“More evil.”

Her eyes rolled. “So where did the pants come from?”