Page 34 of Demon with Benefits (Hell Bent #3)

It wasn’t Meph’s usual style. This piece was of a nude woman huddled in a crouch, her arms wrapped around her knees, her hair over her face.

Wings rose from her back, but they were as of yet incomplete, so it was impossible to know what type of wings they would be.

Angel, demon, or something else? Was the woman cowering?

Afraid? Or was the piece still missing some integral part that would change the perception?

Unlike all Meph’s other sculptures, however, there was nothing physically wrong with the subject. No obvious wounds or torture being inflicted.

Like the pain she was in came solely from inside her.

“He’s good,” a familiar voice said from behind her. So familiar, it made her heart lurch and her throat tighten. “Really good.”

Slowly, Jacqui turned and took in the handsome visage of her husband. He looked the same as he always did, though perhaps more tired. With everything that had changed between them, it was almost strange to see him with that same face.

It felt like they should both look different. New bodies to match the new reality they’d found themselves in.

“Jacqui...”

He trailed off.

Dan had lied to her about what he was for twenty-seven years. It was the stupidest plan Jacqui had ever heard of: keep lying, pretending to be human, until it all blew up in his face. Well, it had, and the results had not been favorable.

What had he expected to happen? That a fairy godmother would appear from the sky, sprinkle some fairy dust, and everything would be okay? That was not how the world worked. Jacqui had learned that angels and demons existed, and she still knew better than to believe that.

She was so angry at Dan for his stupidity that she wanted to scream. She wanted to hurl every single thing in the studio at his head, one thing after the next. But she knew it wouldn’t fix anything.

Because at the end of the day, he was still her husband. And at the end of the day, she still loved him.

Meph’s words suddenly ran through her head. You can’t hang onto your anger indefinitely. Eventually, you have to decide—forgive him or don’t. But you can’t expect him to wait forever.

He was right, she knew, except for one thing. She was pretty sure that Dan would wait forever.

Dan was the most loyal person she’d ever met.

It had always been one of things she loved most about him.

He had declared that loyalty to her, and she felt it to her bones that it was the kind of loyalty that didn’t die.

He would wait for her to decide until the end of her life if that was how long it took.

But she didn’t want to do that to him. As angry as she was, she didn’t want to put him through that. But she didn’t know how to go forward from here either.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she heard herself asking in a small voice. There was no need to explain what she was talking about. The freak out she’d had on the phone last week had explained enough.

Dan ran a hand over the stubble on his jaw and then stuffed his hands into his pockets. It was hard to imagine her handsome, slightly disheveled husband with gigantic angel wings sprouting from his back, but she knew they could be there in a heartbeat. She’d seen them with her own eyes.

“I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you, I swear.

It honestly didn’t occur to me to even make that suggestion.

When the truth about who I am came out, I thought if I was lucky, you might forgive me eventually, and we would have whatever time we could together.

That you’d want to alter your lifespan and turn yourself into something not human, something that is hunted and in constant danger.

.. I could never ask that of you. I wouldn’t even think to suggest it. ”

Dan shook his head. “I realize now that maybe that was stupid, but... since the day I fell from Heaven, I’ve been killing vampires without a second thought. The idea of turning you into one is abhorrent.”

“But why? Are they so bad? Does it make you evil?”

“Yes. No. I don’t know.” His mouth twisted.

“I honestly don’t. I’ve never spoken to a human before he was turned and seen how his personality changes.

I don’t know what it does to you. But demon blood is potent, powerful stuff.

Just a sip of it creates fundamental changes on a cellular level that allow humans to travel through hellgates and perform types of Sheolic magic.

Replacing all the blood in your body with it.

..” He visibly shuddered. “I don’t know what would happen, but I do know that all the vampires I ever came across were bloodthirsty, feral creatures. ”

Jacqui considered this. “How do you know that if you just killed them right away? Maybe they were just fighting to defend themselves.”

Dan dragged a hand down his face. “I don’t know. But I can say with certainty that most of them weren’t. Most of them were living in nests full of half-drained human slaves in conditions akin to Hell. Some of the things I’ve seen have stayed with me for centuries.”

Jacqui nodded, conceding he had a point. It had taken her months to wrap her head around the fact that her husband was thousands of years old. She could accept that he had experiences she couldn’t comprehend at only forty-seven years of age.

“If demon blood makes vampires, what about angel blood? Does it do something?”

Dan winced. “Angel blood is poison to humans and demons, though it’s only fatal for humans.”

“Oh.” She suddenly remembered Dan’s almost compulsive need to clean up his blood every time he got a cut. She’d always thought he was just a bit hemophobic, but now she realized he’d probably been trying to protect her from being poisoned. Good lord.

“So if I had to... drink blood, I wouldn’t be able to drink yours.”

Dan’s mouth twisted. “No. Vampires need an infusion of human blood once or twice a week, though most prefer to indulge more than that. They can’t wipe memories like in the movies, but there’s venom in their bites that make their victims woozy and disoriented.

When the effects wear off, the human is unlikely to have a clear recollection. ”

Jacqui winced. “That sounds awful.”

“But... if they’re drinking demon blood, a vampire only needs to feed about once a month.” If anything, Dan looked more disturbed by this, and Jacqui could guess why.

It was a relief for her, however. She was sure if she asked Meph, he would happily provide. He already helped her out whenever she used the hellgate to visit Eva. She’d nearly thrown up the first time she’d sipped his blood from a glass like wine, but it had become less repulsive over time.

She hoped it would taste better to a vampire than to her, though. Just thinking about the oddly spicy taste made her shudder.

Asmodeus would help her too, even just as a favor to Eva. Jacqui’s daughter already supplied the demons with a dose of her Nephilim blood every month or so—the blood of a fallen angel’s offspring contained magical properties that allowed the demons to remain hidden from the forces hunting them.

But Jacqui knew she couldn’t count on having demon blood all the time. At some point, she’d have to embrace the idea of taking it from a stranger. And she doubted they’d obligingly bleed into a cup for her like Meph did.

“If you want to do this... if this is something you’re considering.

..” Dan swallowed, and it seemed to be a great effort for him to get the words out.

“Just, let me help you, okay? I promise I won’t keep secrets from you, and I’ll try not to let my bias affect your decision.

I just want to make sure you’re safe, that’s all.

I know my word isn’t worth much to you now, but I’m giving it anyway, for what little meaning it has.

“And just please, whatever you do, don’t do this for me. If you’re doing it for Eva, because you want to be there for her—that I could be persuaded to accept. But don’t even think about making this kind of sacrifice for me. I couldn’t live with myself.”

Jacqui nodded mutely. She wanted to say something, but her throat was so tight, it didn’t feel like any words would be able to make it through. She just... needed some time to think, to process.

She’d been doing a lot of “processing” lately, and it was starting to feel redundant, but she didn’t know what else to do. How else did one set about absorbing this much information and making a decision of this magnitude?

They stared at each other from across the studio, an ocean between them.

“How is... everything?” Dan asked, rubbing the back of his neck.

“It’s good.” Lonely. I miss you like crazy.

“You’ve been spending time with Mephistopheles, I see.”

“He prefers to be called Meph.”

“Meph, then.”

“He’s very talented at sculpture. I’ve been encouraging him to explore it.”

“I can tell by that piece. I’m impressed.” Dan smiled. “You’ve always been a great mentor.”

She smiled back. “He doesn’t need mentoring. Just someone to provide the space and materials.”

“I miss you.” Dan’s smile dropped, and he looked away. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t mean to pressure you, but it just slipped out, and—”

“I miss you too.”

He glanced back, and they smiled tentatively at each other again.

“I’ll go and leave you to... this,” Dan said, “but can I just say one more thing?”

She nodded.

“Even if you don’t want to go through with the whole vampire thing, I would stay with you until the end anyway.

It’s you I love, Jacqui. Not some concept of youth portrayed by your skin.

Just you, in any form. And I’ll take whatever time I can get with you, however short.

As short as a single human life. I wouldn’t give that up for anything. ”

Jacqui’s throat constricted painfully, and she blinked hard. Unable to speak, she just nodded. She wanted to say something—there was so much she suddenly wanted to say to him—but the words were once again stuck inside of her.

Dan smiled, a little sadly, as if to show her he understood. “Eva has a show tomorrow night. She asked me to come to her gigs more, so I was going to go. As long as you don’t mind? I don’t know if you’ve been using the hellgate to visit her, but if you want to go and you don’t want me there, I—”

“I was planning to go,” Jacqui managed. “But of course you can go to your own daughter’s show, Dan. You don’t even need to ask me that.”

“Yeah, I do. But thanks.” His hands were stuffed back into his pockets. He may have been a millennia-old fallen angel, but sometimes Dan reminded her of a scruffy youth, standing on the corner waiting for the bus, maybe with a hidden baggie of marijuana in his backpack.

“Well, I’ll see you then, I guess.”

“Wait,” she said before he could go.

His brows lifted in question.

“You stopped calling every day.”

He winced. “I thought you would appreciate some space. I’m sorry it took this long.”

Meph was right , she thought with an inward shake of her head. I’ll be damned. “I liked knowing you were okay,” she admitted. “When you stopped calling... I worried.”

“Oh.” He shifted on his feet. “You never answered. I thought I was annoying you.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“Okay, well, if you want me to, I’ll start calling again.”

“I’ll start answering the calls.”

“Okay.” He smiled a little. She smiled back.

A moment later, he turned away with a bashful look. “I’m just going to go outside. I can’t concentrate enough to teleport with you looking at me like that.”

Jacqui watched him go until she lost sight of him through the windows. She stood silently in the empty studio, feeling more alone than ever.

But there was a spark of hope in her chest for the first time in months.