Page 26 of Demon with Benefits (Hell Bent #3)

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, actually,” Lily went on.

“I’ve been waiting around for Dan’s angel friend, but I realized that she probably won’t be able to find anything either.

The brands came from Hell. The answers are probably going to be found there too, not in the Empyrean Library.

It’s the same way I know we won’t find anything here either.

These grimoires were made by witches. Powerful witches, but they’re still human, and as far as I know, none of them ever went to Hell. Of course they won’t have what I need.”

“Belial, Mist, and all of them went rogue, Lily. That means no one can know where they are. If you go marching back into Hell, you can best believe Mist is going to come with you. What if that gets him caught?”

“He’s not technically rogue like the others since no one reported—”

“He is. After you got rid of Paimon, he disappeared and hasn’t returned. That’s against the rules. He’s not allowed to do whatever he wants on Earth with humans. He’s rogue. They’re all rogue. And if they get caught, they’re going to be in deep shite.”

Iris suddenly thought of Meph, and her heart skipped a beat. For the first time, it fully sank in what it had meant for him and his brothers to escape Hell.

If Team Heaven found them, they were allowed to exterminate them on sight.

If Team Hell found them, they would be dragged back to the underworld and punished horribly—or exterminated on sight.

And Iris had overheard Belial saying multiple times that if Lucifer found him, it would start a war the likes of which they hadn’t seen in, well, ever.

They had truly given up everything for their chance at freedom.

And then there was Meph and whatever dark past he was hiding. However casual their relationship was, she never wanted him to be forced back to Hell to face the horrors he’d left behind.

“Does Mist know about your crazy plan?” she asked Lily.

“No. He’d just say no.”

“With good reason. You need to get this idea out of your mind.”

Lily threw up her hands. “Then how am I supposed to get rid of the brands?”

Iris finally just said what she’d been thinking all along. “You’re not. Just accept that they’re there to stay.”

“I refuse to do that! I love Mist, and I want what’s best for him, and these brands are not it!”

“It’s not that bad. It’s not like you’d use them on him, and he knows that. He trusts you.”

“It’s demeaning to him! And I can’t—” Lily’s voice hitched.

“I love him so much, Ris. I can’t bear the thought that these horrible things exist that can steal his free will and hurt him so badly.

And I can’t bear the thought that I’m the one who controls them.

” She stared at her hands twisting in her lap. “I hate myself for it.”

Iris studied her sister and decided it was time to tell her the cold, hard truth. It would probably hurt a little, but Lily needed to hear it.

“I don’t think this is about Mist at all,” Iris said. “This is about you .”

“What? Of course it’s about Mist.”

Iris shook her head. “You don’t feel comfortable having the responsibility of the brands, and you feel guilty that you’re in control of them and uncomfortable with the power dynamic. You told me he trusts you not to abuse them.”

“Of course he does, but—”

“But trust goes both ways. You have to trust him when he says he’s okay. He told you he was happy. He told you he didn’t care. You owe it to him to believe him.”

“But—”

“Lily...” Iris met her sister’s gaze directly. “You have to consider the fact that this obsession with getting rid of the brands is more about your own feelings of inadequacy than sparing Mist from any kind of pain.”

She watched a dozen emotions flash across Lily’s face in rapid succession. Indignation, hurt, denial, self-doubt, and finally...

“I agree that you have a point,” Lily admitted quietly. “But I don’t believe that’s my only motivator.”

“At the very least, you have to tell Mist.” Because there was no way he’d let her go forward with such an idiotic plan, and Iris would be right there at his side, backing him up. “You can’t keep something like this from him.”

Lily blew out a sigh. “I know.”

“You’ll tell him?”

“I’ll tell him.” But her hands were twisting in her lap again.

“Lily!”

She made a face. “Okay, okay. I will. I promise.”

“Swear it.”

“I swear on the memory of Mam and Dad, I’ll tell him.”

Iris nodded. They both understood the importance of that vow. Then, she laughed. “I never thought I’d say this, but you might be even more stubborn than I am.”

“Pfft. Everyone knows I’m the sweet, agreeable twin.”

“Yeah, right.” Her smile fell. “Just, be careful with the secrets, okay? I’m the last person to give relationship advice, but we both know from experience that concealing the truth is never a good idea.”

Lily nodded, giving her a meaningful look.

Iris glanced away, not quite able to meet her sister’s gaze.

She may have been granted Lily’s forgiveness, but nine years of lying about the most impactful moment of their lives was not something that could be fully reconciled overnight.

They’d come a long way toward rebuilding trust—thanks mostly to Lily’s compassion—but Iris knew it could be a long time before she was absolved completely, if ever.

She deserved every bit of her sister’s lingering resentment.

“I know,” Lily finally said, letting the heavy, unspoken matter pass.

Iris was glad. She didn’t have the energy for self-recrimination today.

“I don’t like keeping this from him either.

I just wanted to get the information I needed before he got all overbearing and protective.

” She smiled dreamily, like “overbearing and protective” were qualities she found endearing and not annoying.

Iris shook her head. If a man ever pulled that with her, well... it wouldn’t end well for him.

“Speaking of secrets,” Lily said, snapping back to focus, “are you going to tell me what’s going on with you and Meph?”

Iris shrugged, studying her chipped blue fingernails. “There’s nothing going on besides the fact that he’s hot and an asshole.”

Lily gasped suddenly, and Iris’s gaze shot up. “Oh my god, you like him! I knew it.”

“What? No. I just said he was an asshole.”

“A hot asshole. And you love hot assholes. So you like him!”

Iris groaned. Why did Lily have to see straight through her like that? It was unnerving as hell. Maybe Meph was right, and she really was an open book. She wasn’t sure she liked it anymore.

“I’m trying to change that!” she groaned. “It’s a toxic habit. I need a nice, quiet guy with good manners. Who doesn’t talk back or argue. Who doesn’t smoke or drink or party. Who has no tattoos. And no attitude. And no dark, damaged past.”

“And is boring and terrible at sex.”

Iris made a face. “He doesn’t have to be terrible at sex.”

“Have you ever met a guy that fits all those qualities that isn’t terrible at sex?”

She snorted. “Hey, now, that’s not fair to nice guys.”

“You didn’t describe a ‘nice guy,’ Ris. You described a boring guy with zero personality.

Mist is a nice guy. He’s loving and sweet.

He’s also gorgeous and dangerous and amazing in bed, and he has a dark past. So there.

Nice guys can have damage, and they don’t have to be boring and personality-less.

” Lily grinned wickedly. “Meph is a nice guy.”

Iris snorted. Only Lily would ever think that about a demon with face tattoos. “No, he is not.”

“He is. He has a great sense of humor, and he’s so easygoing and fun to be around. I get you have a hard time liking him because of what he is, but you have to admit you’ve dated human guys that are worse than him. I’d take one hundred Mephs over one Antoine.”

“He has serious damage, Lil. I don’t know what the hell his demon form is, but when I brought it up, he shut down so fast I got whiplash.

He’s hiding something big, and he refuses to talk about it.

And did you know he has a binding sigil that keeps him from shifting tattooed on his abs?

When I asked him about it, he made some vague remark about how ‘some monsters need to be kept on a leash.’ What does that even mean? ”

“Wait.” Lily held up a hand. “When were you looking at his abs and asking him about his tattoos?”

Bugger. Iris shifted uncomfortably. “A couple weeks ago.”

“Why?”

Time to come clean, I guess. “I kind of... had sex with him. Have been pretty much every day since then, actually.” She smiled sheepishly.

Lily gasped. “Oh my god! Here you are pretending you don’t even like him, and you’re having sex with him?”

“We’re not in a relationship,” Iris said quickly. “We’re just having sex. End of story.”

“Right. Yeah. Okay.” Lily rolled her eyes. “Because that always works.”

“It will work for us. Neither of us wants commitment, and we were very up front about it from the beginning.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Don’t give me that look.”

“I’m not giving you any look.”

“You totally are. It’s your disapproving look.”

“Whatever. I just can’t believe you’re having sex with him and you didn’t tell me!” Lily covered her mouth briefly and then dropped her hand, eyes lighting with interest. “Tell me everything. Is it good?”

Iris sniffed haughtily. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

“That’s a load of rubbish.”

She tried to stifle a laugh and failed. “Fine. It’s good, okay? Really good. He’s wicked hot, and I’m crazy attracted to him. And the guy is ripped, Lil.” She sighed appreciatively. “One of his abs has more muscle than my entire body. And the tattoos...”

“They’re everywhere?”

“Ev-ery-where.”

Lily’s eyes widened. “Even... there?”

“Even there.”

The two sisters giggled uncontrollably.

“And it’s pierced,” Iris blurted.

“Oh my god!”

“I know. I was kind of freaked out at first, but it’s hot.”

“Oh my god, Iris!” Lily looked way too excited.