Page 26

Chapter Twenty-Five

Rafael

What can I possibly say to that?

I did come home and break up with her—right when she was about to tell me she was pregnant with my child. I imagine the hurt and confusion she must have been feeling that day and mentally berate myself for my horrible timing.

If I had only waited a day more to do it. Then what? I would have married her and moved to the suburbs to raise our baby? White picket fence and all?

Marriage. That was the answer, I suddenly realized. If Lux marries me, I can protect her and our child. She would be virtually untouchable in this city. I could give her the life she deserves.

The idea hits me so suddenly, so potently, that I spring out of bed and start pacing the length of the bedroom.

I run through the different scenarios and potential outcomes this might lead to but can’t come up with anything that would put her in a worse position than she’s in now.

“Rafael?” she calls, sitting up in bed. She still sounds like the name is strange to her, but the sound of my real name falling from her lips makes my heart and my cock clench up with desire for her.

I glance back at her, safely tucked away in a cloud of white bedding, looking like an angel. With her post-sex rosy cheeks and mussed-up hair, she’s never looked more beautiful.

I need to make her mine, forever.

“Lux, we have to get married,” I blurt, hopping back onto the bed and grabbing her hands in mine. She falls backward into the pillows with a little snort.

“What is this? The 1800s? We do not have to do anything,” she says with humor in her voice. “People raise babies outside of marriage all the time. I mean, do you even want to be involved in all of this? We broke up, remember?”

A tinge of pain and embarrassment flash across her face and I feel horribly guilty all over again. I pull her up so that we’re sitting, facing each other. Her eyes hold a million emotions, all of them breaking my heart.

“I don’t just want to be involved,” I start, my voice breaking with sincerity. “I want it all, the whole dream…a colorful house in that neighborhood you love, kids, a dog in the yard, you and me growing old together. Don’t you want that, too?”

I wait with bated breath as she processes what I’ve just said. If she answers no right now, I might just combust into a million pieces.

“I mean,” she starts, shaking her head. “We don’t even really know each other. How can I honestly answer that? We had a great time together, but committing to each other for an entire lifetime takes a bit more than a few weeks of dating.”

“That’s what marriage is for,” I explain, desperately trying to save my wild idea. “To get to know each other. We’ll have a whole lifetime to do it…and I want to. I want to spend my life figuring out who you are and falling in love with you more every day.”

Her eyes mist over, and she covers her face, quietly wiping away a rogue tear. I know she’s considering it but struggling to get over my lies. There’s more you haven’t told her, the voice in my head reminds me, and it’s even worse than what she already knows.

I block the voice out and lean down to kiss her softly, trailing my lips up her face to kiss away another tear sliding down her cheekbone.

“Besides,” I whisper into her ear, stroking her hair. “I’ll be able to better protect you and our child if we’re married. And right now? There’s a lot playing out with the Mancinis that puts both of you in serious danger.”

She sighs, shutting her eyes tightly, and takes a deep breath. “Okay.”

Okay? I can’t believe my ears. Her voice is so small that I need to hear it again so I pull away and gaze down, searching her eyes. Resignation is all I find and my heart cracks just a little bit.

She doesn’t want this, the wretched internal voice screams.

“You’ll marry me?”

“Yes,” she says softly, tracing her finger up and down my arm, avoiding my gaze. “I’ll marry you.”

***

After a tumultuous night of zero sleep and way too much overthinking, I peel myself out of bed at a reasonable time and hop in the shower.

Lux is snoring softly, star-fished in bed, which I take as a good sign. I head to the gym upstairs to work the jumbled thoughts out in my mind.

As I hop on the treadmill to warm up, I question my decisions last night. I know she’s angry I lied about my identity and she doesn’t trust me. I know this marriage isn’t what she wants right now. I try to figure out how much it matters to me.

I never hoped for love, for a happy marriage. In fact, I had resigned myself to being a bachelor my entire life and I was fine with the decision. Then she showed up in my life and turned it upside down. I can’t let this opportunity pass by.

“Morning.”

Her sleepy voice makes me jump, almost losing my footing on the treadmill.

She wanders over to me wearing one of my button-down shirts and a pair of slippers. Her hair tumbles down in messy golden waves over her shoulders, and she yawns, stretching her arms over her head. I catch a glimpse of toned thighs and nearly fall off again.

Okay, no more treadmill. This is too dangerous with Lux around, tripping me up.

“What are you doing up here?” I ask, turning the speed down and hopping off. I walk over to give her a hesitant little kiss on the cheek, not really knowing where we stand. She shrugs and slides her arms around my neck.

“I wanted to see the sunrise,” she says, pressing her face into my chest. I wrap my arms around her, feeling her soft, warm body melt into me. “And I knew you’d be up here.”

“Come on, then,” I say, tugging her by the hand. We walk over to the pool and sit at the edge, dipping our feet in. She wiggles over closer to me, and I wrap my arm around her waist.

We sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, watching the sun slowly climb out over the skyscrapers in front of us.

“This view is amazing,” she breathes, snuggling her head into my shoulder. I glance down, entranced by the constellation of freckles across her nose and how long her eyelashes look against her cheeks.

“It is,” I say, and I’m not talking about the skyline. “Luxy, you don’t hate the thought of marrying me too much, do you?”

She glances up, wrinkling her eyebrows. Her mouth dips into a serious little frown, and she pats my chest absent-mindedly. “I wouldn’t have said yes if I hated it, Rafael. I’m still unsure it’s the right decision…emotionally. But I’m smart enough to know that it’s the right thing to do for the baby, safety-wise.”

I nod, absorbing this revelation. She doesn’t hate me. My stupid, hopeful heart soars, and I tip her chin up to kiss her.

“Let’s do it today.”

“Today?” she laughs, pulling away to stare at me in mock horror. “You’re insane.”

“Why not? We have no reason to wait,” I say. “We’ll do a quickie little courthouse wedding to make it official, then you can plan the real thing for as long as you want.”

“I have always wanted to get married by an Elvis impersonator at a little white wedding chapel in Vegas,” she muses, cracking a smile. “Think we can take your private jet over there for a day? I’m sure you have one.”

Three , I think, but don’t correct her. “If that’s really what you want, then yes.”

“Nah,” she shakes her head. “The courthouse downtown is just fine. Also, I start my new job today so Vegas is, unfortunately, out of the question.”

“Who starts a new job on a Saturday?” I ask, confused. I didn’t tell Enzo to have her work weekends.

“Not technically starting,” she says, pulling her feet out of the pool and getting up. “My boss wants to meet to show me the office and explain everything, like a training day.”

We head to the elevator as she chatters about her new job and how well she got along with her new boss. I smile, nodding along and asking questions, while patting myself on the back for coming up with this idea.

After we both clean ourselves up, I throw on a casual suit while Lux pulls a flowy yellow sundress out of her duffle bag.

We grin at each other in the elevator, not really believing that we’re doing this. My overworked brain turns off the second I see that sunshine smile, and I know I’ve made the right decision.

The courthouse wedding is surprisingly fast and we’re done and married in about fifteen minutes. The clerk stamps our documents and congratulates us. I glance down at Lux. Her face is thoughtful. She looks like she’s a million miles away.

I squeeze her hand three times and she grins up at me, automatically placing her hand on her lower belly. We’re officially a family.

It’s not a beautiful setting with millions of flowers and guests in evening clothes, but it’s ours. A memory of the day Lux said yes. The day she became mine.

After the courthouse, we grab coffee and croissants, walking through a small park while we eat. Lux is unusually quiet today, the weight of everything that’s happened settling into her brain. I constantly worry about whether she’s regretting it, or if she wants to run.

When I drop her off at Enzo’s office building in midtown, she leans over and kisses me goodbye. Before she can duck out of the car, I grab her wrist gently and pull her back in.

“Any regrets?” I ask, needing to know for my own sanity.

“I don’t do regrets,” she grins. “If I did, I wouldn’t have survived this long.”

“It’s not ideal though, right?” I push. She sighs, fiddling with her purse.

“It’s not ideal, no,” she agrees. “But it is what it is. I don’t regret marrying you, Dominic—Rafael, I just wish it was under better circumstances, with more time, and less stress.”

“I get it,” I nod. “Have fun today, don’t cause any trouble.”

She laughs as she gets out of the car and winks over her shoulder at me. I watch her walk away, in awe that she’s my wife, until my phone buzzes and pulls me back into the present.

“Vince.”

“Boss,” his monotone voice greets me. “I’m heading to your office with some of our guys. We need to talk about the Mancini situation.”

“Meet me at the penthouse instead,” I tell him. “I’m waiting for an important delivery that needs my signature.”

“Got it.”

I hang up and run my fingers through my hair, trying to shake away the daze of my Lux-filled morning. She turns me into a mindless kid falling in love for the first time every damn day I spend with her.

Back at the penthouse, I force my brain to focus on the Mancinis and recent events. Vince and a few of my father’s closest men sit scattered around my living room, stinking it up with cigars.

“I say we attack one of theirs to show we mean business,” Joe volunteers, throwing back his bourbon.

“Too risky,” Vince brushes it off. “They’ll retaliate, and we’ll end up in a full-blown war.”

“Aren’t we there already?” Rocco wonders. Vince glares at him, sighing heavily.

“Vito Mancini was killed the other day,” I announce. “Perpetrator still unknown.”

“They’re going to pin it on us, those fuckers,” Joe spits out.

“We don’t necessarily know that,” warns Vince.

We go in circles all day, throwing out ideas and then nixing them until the sun sets low in the sky. Finally, I stretch and suggest calling it a night. We’ve gotten nowhere with this today because we need more information.

I’m not rushing into Mancini’s territory and attacking him without concrete proof that he’s behind the stolen shipments, the warehouse attack, and my father’s death. As we approach the entryway, still arguing about our plan of action, the elevator opens up, and Lux steps out.

The radiant smile on her face falls as soon as she sees the group of men crowding my entryway.

I watch her gaze take them all in, but a strange look crosses her face when she gets to Vince. Her mouth forms into a little O, and her eyes widen with recognition and fear.

She nods politely and excuses herself into the kitchen, still staring at Vince as she walks past us. His demeanor remains the same—impassive, cold, and unaffected. He doesn’t seem to recognize her at all.

What a strange reaction.