Page 77 of Dead Serious Case 4 Professor Prometheus Plume
“Where’s the body?” Mr Pennington peeps around us and stares at the floor in confusion.
“Your guess is as good as mine,” I mutter.
“Well, you were the last one with it— and on your own, I might add.” Mr Greyson narrows his eyes at me accusingly. “What did you do with him?”
“Yeah, okay, it was me,” I say dryly. “All five foot six of me. I picked up that six-foot long and two hundred pounds of deadweight, slung him over my shoulder, and snuck him past every single one of you in the lobby to hide his body because I felt the evening needed livening up a bit.”
“There’s no need for sarcasm,” Ruby replies snippily.
“I feel like I’m on a circus ride I can’t get off.” Mr Pennington gives a morose pout.
I huff. “Welcome to my world.”
“Are you sure he was actually dead?” Major Dick asks.
“I knew we should have got that second opinion,” Mr Greyson complains.
“Maybe he just fainted,” Major Dick muses as he looks at the stain. “I mean, blood loss would surely result in fainting.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he did faint.” I stare at him. “Right before he died from, you know, massive blood loss.”
“This isn’t getting us anywhere,” Martha interrupts. “Tristan obviously knows what he’s doing. It’s his occupation, after all. Now, Essie and I are somewhat experienced investigators ourselves.”
Mrs Snow sniffs. “You’re pensioners who go to murder mystery weekends. That doesn’t exactly make you Columbo.”
“Be that as it may, real or fake, we have experience in deductive reasoning and criminal investigation.”
“Oh, sweet Jesus.” Mrs Snow sighs.
“We need to find this body, so I suggest we all split up into teams and start searching,” Martha states with firm intention.
“No,” Danny replies even more resolutely. “We need to round everyone up and put them in one place. The bar, maybe.”
“Yes, I vote for the bar.” Dr Walsh hiccups and blinks at us owlishly through bloodshot eyes, and I wince. I think someone needs to cut him off.
“It’s perfect. It’s got drinks, snacks, and easily accessible toilets. We can wait together for the police to show up.”
“But you’re the police,” Essie points out.
“Yes, thank you, Essie. I am aware of that, but there’s only one of me and it’s too difficult to keep an eye on all of you plus figure out who killed Professor Plume and, even more worryingly, find his body. I think at this point, the best thing to do is settle into one of the other main rooms and wait for the local police to show up. They have the manpower to figure this all out.”
“Yeah, no.” Mr Pennington shakes his head. “I like the old ladies’ suggestion better.”
“You’re just looking for fodder for your next book.” Mrs Snow curls her lip in disdain but Mr Pennington just shrugs.
“You know, Danny, I don’t want to upset you,” Ellis says apologetically, “but we really should find the body at least. I mean, we can’t have guests coming to stay and a dead body potentially falling out of a cupboard somewhere.”
“Oh, my goodness.” Rosie snorts slightly. “Can you imagine the reviews on TripAdvisor?”
“I don’t know, it might actually get you some more paying customers,” Mr Meadow mutters under his breath.
“Okay, everyone who’s for our plan, follow us,” Martha announces. She and Essie link arms and they totter out toward the lobby again.
I watch in dismay as everyone files out behind them and Danny turns to me.
“Fucking hell, it’s like trying to herd a group half made up of enthusiastic puppies and half of feral cats that hiss and spit.” He closes his eyes and breathes slowly.
“I know,” I sigh. “But we really don’t have a choice. Someone should supervise them. I say we find the body and secure it. There’s a lockable walk-in freezer in the kitchen. If we find Professor Plume’s remains and put them in there, then we can herd the others into the bar and they can discuss clues to their hearts’ content, or at least until the police show up.”