Page 75 of Dead Serious Case 4 Professor Prometheus Plume

“I hope not,” I mutter. “I really enjoyed the gravy.”

“Well, we must be off.” Bertie’s announcement draws my attention. “Spirits to round up and all that. I mean, you were the one to say we should set an example.”

I meant to keep them out of trouble, not lead them headfirst into it,I want to say. But I can’t and it’s so bloody frustrating.

“I say.” Bertie pauses and points to Professor Plume, who’s still loitering at my side. “We should take that chap with us. He’s one of us now, should meet the others.”

I open my mouth to blurt something out, but they’ve all disappeared, including Professor Plume. The only one remaining is Dusty, who’s laughing so hard she’s clutching her sides.

“Oh my god.” She wipes a tear from her eye. “Why haven’t I been to a murder mystery weekend before? This is a riot! I wish Chan was here.”

I could only imagine how much more insane this night would get if Chan was here with Death trailing behind him.

I shake my head and turn to Danny. “What now?”

“We need to establish some facts and a timeline.” Danny scratches his chin.

“Miss Fairfax?” He turns to Ruby, who is hovering nearby and has been suspiciously silent for someone who was apparently married to the victim. “Would I be right in thinking you and Professor Plume were married in real life?”

“Yes,” she says and dabs her dry eyes with a tissue.

Yeah, she’s not fooling anyone if she can’t even squeeze out a couple of crocodile tears. Clearly not a very good actress.Oh my god, even my inner monologue is starting to sound suspiciously like Dusty.

“Can you tell me if anyone had a grudge against your husband?”

Mrs Snow scoffs under her breath. “Only anyone who’s ever met him.”

“You’re just jealous because he picked me!” Ruby hisses.

“You stole him, you mean!” Mrs Snow snaps back. “Jezebel.”

Oh, so Mrs Snow’s the ex? Interesting. I glance at Danny, who’s watching the argument unfold in front of him.

“It’s not my fault he didn’t want a dried-up, sour old cow like you.” Ruby glowers.

“As opposed to a woman who can’t keep her knickers on.”

Mr Greyson makes the mistake of stepping in. “Now that’s uncalled for.”

Mrs Snow snorts in disgust. “Oh please. Like you haven’t been humping her like a dog in heat every chance you get.”

There’s a loud gasp, and we all turn to find Essie looking both scandalised and gleeful as she scribbles in her complimentary murder mystery notebook.

“She’s right, you know.” Major Dick nods. “We all knew about you two.”

“Including Plume,” Mr Meadow agrees. “Your lack of discretion is as bad as your acting.”

“What did you say?” Mr Greyson growls.

“He said your acting is on par with that of a bored toddler in a nativity play.”

“How dare you?” Mr Greyson whispers harshly.

“You’re just jealous,” Ruby accuses. “Because Greyson was in line to be head of the troupe, above you.”

“Until Prometheus stole it out from under him,” Mrs Snow scorns. “Stabbing people in the back was Prometheus’ forte, after all. Seems like he got his just desserts.”

“He wasn’t stabbed in the back,” Ruby shoots back. “He was stabbed in the neck.”