Page 87 of Dead Serious: Case 3 Mr Bruce Reyes

“He’s so sweet.”

“Sweet?” I repeat slowly. “The million-year-old death deity is… sweet?”

“He’s just so adorably clueless, like a puppy.” She hums, smiling as she closes her eyes. “One that is so powerful he could wipe entire cities off the map if he felt like it. He’s just too fascinating not to want to play with… plus, he’s sexy as hell.”

“Death is sexy?” Dusty parrots. “Well, I suppose so, objectively… if that really is his own face and body. I mean, he could be like the Crypt Keeper under all the daddy CEO vibes.”

“Shut up,” I mouth. “Not helping.”

“His dick is huge,” Chan murmurs, her eyes still closed, and I wonder if she meant to let that slip out.

“Oh… er… well, he is omnipotent,” I say awkwardly. “I’m pretty sure he can have whatever size dick he wants.”

Chan’s eyes snap open and she props herself up on her elbows. “Excuse you. No, he’s not. Everything down there works just fine, thank you.”

I blink slowly as I stare at her. “I said… omnipotent.”

“Oh.” She smiles and settles back down. “My bad.”

“I can’t believe she slept with Death.” Dusty shakes her head.

“Dusty says she can’t believe you slept with Death.”

Chan grins. “To be fair, there was absolutely no sleeping going on.”

“Chan,” Danny interrupts. “Are you okay? I mean he didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to, did he?”

“Thank you for asking, you sweet man.” Chan chuckles. “He did plenty to me, all of which I asked for. Turns out he likes being bossed around. Who knew?”

“Er, TMI, Princess.” Dusty shakes her head. “That’s a visual that will literally stay with me for eternity.”

I blow out a deep breath and look up, my gaze snagging on the naked portrait front and centre of the living room. “Chan, where did all this stuff come from? I mean, the sofa and the bed and everything. Um… not that we’re not grateful, but it’s…”

“Gaudy as hell?” She chuckles, turning her head to look at me affectionately. “Relax honey, it’s just on loan. Well, except Paolo, the massive tool holding his massive tool. That’s a housewarming gift from Brandy.”

“Uh, thanks.” I chuckle. “But where did it all come from?”

“Mostly Brandy,” Chan replies. “She had all her stuff in storage, so she pulled it out for you to borrow until you can get your own.”

“Why’s she not using it?” I ask curiously.

“Because she moved in with Ari.” Chan grins salaciously.

“No! She did not!” Dusty gasps.

“Dusty… is, uh… surprised,” I say.

“Yeah, they’re totally shacking up.” Chan leans closer, like she’s imparting deliciously juicy gossip. “I mean, I’m surprised they actually made it official by moving in together, but not surprised they’re together, you know? They’re well suited. He basically lets her do whatever she wants, and she gives him a good dicking when he wants it. It works for them.” She shrugs and drops back down on the sofa.

“Well, it was really kind of her to lend us her stuff,” I reply, chewing my lip in thought. “Maybe I should send her something she likes to say thanks.”

Chan chuckles. “She likes your cat.”

“Well, she can’t have him,” I say firmly.

“Oh, and by the way,” Chan adds as an afterthought, “Death says to look in that little book of yours. You know… the Crawshanks thingy.” She waggles her fingers in my direction.

“Crawshanks Guide?” I reply in surprise. “What am I looking for exactly? Because I’ve read it several times, and I don’t think there’s anything in it that would help with the Bruce slash chaos monster problem.”