Page 52 of Dead Serious: Case 3 Mr Bruce Reyes
“Dude!” Ian laughs in delight and lifts his hand for a high five, which Dave returns dazedly. “One time me and my cousin got completely trashed and he tried to bungee from a bridge over a creek. We didn’t use bouncy rope though and he ended up with whiplash and two broken ankles.”
“Bouncy rope?” Dusty mouths at me and I roll my eyes and shake my head with a smile playing on my lips. It’s impossible not to like Ian despite his questionable attitude toward personal safety. His smile is so genuine and his laugh and good humour infectious.
“So, I guess we’re both dead?” Ian says to Dave, and he seems to be quite unconcerned by this turn of events.
“Yeah, we are—FUCK, SHIT, BALLS,” Dave bursts out, the tic in his shoulder making him shrug almost violently.
Dave’s cheeks pinken and he blinks. Ian tilts his head as he watches Dave, who looks embarrassed, something I’ve never seen before. Dave’s usually so comfortable in himself, despite the tics and random outbursts.
“Tourette’s?” Ian says and Dave nods. “With coprolalia?”
Dave stares at him in wide-eyed shock. Unable to answer, he nods again.
“My cousin has the same thing. Stress makes his tics worse.” He lifts his hands and gently places them on Dave’s shoulders before stroking down his arms in a soothing motion which he then repeats. “You’re in a safe space, dude. Just relax.”
“If Ian gets any more relaxed, he’s going to be horizontal,” Dusty mutters.
“You’ve got really pretty eyes.” Ian gives Dave a lazy smile and if this were a Looney Tunes cartoon, I swear Dave would have little hearts spinning in his eyes like a fruit machine.
“S-SUCK MY DICK,” Dave blurts out and goes scarlet with utter mortification. “S-sorry,” he mutters.
Ian winks. “Maybe later if you’re good.”
Dave’s mouth falls open, his eyes widening.
“God, I wish I had some popcorn,” Dusty remarks from the end of the table where she leans with her chin propped in her hands as she avidly watches the two of them. “This is better than watchingFirst Dates.”
Leaving them to it, I roll Ian’s body and peel the body bag out from under him. After I retrieve my scissors, I begin to cut away his clothes, which reveals more small wounds puncturing his torso. That seems to be the area that took the brunt of the exploding glass.
Before I bag the remains of his clothes, I grab a surgical sheet and lay it across Ian’s hips, aware that he is still standing at the end of the table flirting with a blushing Dave.
“Dave?” I interrupt, not wanting Ian to witness his own post-mortem no matter how laid-back he is about being dead. “Why don’t you take Ian and show him around?”
Dave’s gaze flicks to the naked body partially covered by the blue sheet and then back to Ian.
“Do you want to come with me?” Dave asks shyly.
“Sure.” Ian grins as he holds his hand out for Dave to take. “We can sit on the roof if you like. I bet this storm is wild to watch.”
Dave grins back as he grabs the offered hand and they both disappear.
“They’re so cute.” Dusty turns back to me as I pick the tweezers up and painstakingly begin pulling splinters of glass from Ian’s corpse, dropping them one by one into a stainless steel bowl on the trolley beside me.
“So, tell me what happened when Death stranded you in Mexico last night.” Dusty jumps up and sits on the counter behind her, shuffling her bum back. Crossing her miles-long legs, she smooths down her short, glittery skirt.
“To be fair, he didn’t strand us that long. It was really only a few minutes before we reappeared in the flat,” I murmur as I concentrate on getting a bigger shard out and dropping it in the bowl.
“I still can’t believe that Death has an evil twin,” Dusty muses with a thoughtful pout. “That’s a sentence I never thought I’d utter.”
I glance up at her. “It’s not so much an evil twin as a counterpart being who thrives on chaos.”
“Like I said… evil twin.” She shrugs. “Who would have thought Death is supposed to be the good guy?”
“It’s not as simple as good and bad.” I continue removing pieces of glass from his chest and clumps of wax from his neck and hair. “It’s more like they’re opposing forces. One strives for balance and one for chaos.”
Dusty gives a loud sigh. “This is giving me a headache.”
I chuckle and drop another shard into the bowl with a clink.