Page 16 of Darkness Births the Stars #1

CHAPTER

Noctis

T he days of my recovery blurred into a monotonous haze.

Baradaz occasionally entered to attend to me, each interaction between us tense and full of unspoken words.

Sometimes she would ask sharp questions about how I got injured or my plans once I had recovered.

I knew my vague answers darkened her mood further, but I did not want to lie to her, knowing the truth would only enrage her even more.

Bane prowled around my bed during her visits, hissing in annoyance, as if disappointed I hadn’t perished yet.

By the tenth day, I was ready to climb the walls in frustration.

I needed to do something to preserve my sanity, even if I felt only marginally better.

Having noted her daily patterns, I waited until Baradaz had left the house to tend to the farm. The coast was clear.

Rising from bed and making my way to the door was a daunting task, but I managed it, pausing at the threshold, panting, one hand clutching my throbbing side. I found myself in a narrow corridor. The first door led me to the main room. For the first time, I could fully take in Baradaz’s home.

It was both so much like her that it sent a bittersweet ache through my heart, and so unlike her that it made me wonder.

I sensed her warmth in the wooden furniture and the bright curtains framing the windows, in the heap of blankets and the colorful cushions on the armchairs grouped around a cozy fireplace.

The sight of numerous small objects scattered across every surface—glistening crystals, intriguingly patterned stones, vibrant feathers, and vases filled with flowers—brought an amused smile to my lips.

Little magpie. Some things never changed.

The space was open and inviting, with the kitchen stretching across the entire side opposite the seating area.

A large wooden table stood in the center of the room, its surface worn smooth by years of use.

The simple pallet in front of the fire indicated where Baradaz must be sleeping while I occupied her bedroom.

I frowned. Should I really believe that the former Queen of Aron-Lyr did not even have a guest room? Did she really live here alone?

Her home, while rustic compared to the grandeur of the Hall of Light, did not lack the amenities of magic.

Small lyrin -stones glinted in the ceiling, and I noticed the red and blue glow of stones aiding with kitchen tasks requiring fire and water.

If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought this place belonged to a prosperous merchant.

With the value of those lyrin -stones, she could have easily hidden herself in one of the big cities.

Instead, she played at being a peasant, farming and tending to animals. But why?

A sudden sound made me look around in alarm. The cat. Bane prowled over and leaped onto the table, his amber eyes watching me with bored patience, waiting for me to collapse. Narrowing my eyes on him, I resumed my exploration .

I found the bathroom behind the next door.

With its cream tiled floor and wooden walls, it was a mix of simplicity and small luxuries no actual farmer could afford.

A large bathtub next to a brass pipe contraption caught my interest. The pipes wound around a metal square with a stack of firewood visible through a glass door, allowing water to be pumped in and heated with fire and water stones embedded at the top.

Thankfully, the privy had flowing water too, powered by another lyrin -stone.

After taking care of my needs, I stared longingly at the bathtub.

I would have loved to use it, but the tremble in my hands warned me not to try my luck.

Though Baradaz had washed me with a sponge, a hot bath would have spared me the agony of her detached coldness.

I suspected she was more affectionate when brushing down her araks. They probably got an ear scratch.

The absolute low of my existence: envying mindless beasts.

One look in the mirror, and I couldn’t blame Baradaz.

Deathly pale skin, stubble covering my jaw, dull eyes, tangled hair—I looked like shit.

Like a pitiful mortal. A far cry from the handsome god who was once her lover, or even the imposing figure of the dark warrior I had preferred during the war.

I opened the binding of my tunic, a frown on my face as I tugged down the bandages to get a glimpse of my wound.

A little lower and that cursed dagger would have pierced my lung, ending all my woes.

A bitter laugh escaped me. Who would have thought?

I had always judged Tharion to be one of my weakest servants, his command of Chaos magic mediocre at best. It had still been enough to nearly kill me.

He must have followed the same rumors I had heard—rumors about the location of the Crown.

A low, barely audible sound from the corridor made me pause.

By the Abyss, I had not expected Baradaz to return so soon.

She would surely not be amused that I had left the bed without her permission.

I quickly opened the bathroom door to return to the corridor, the swift movement sending a wave of nausea through me.

Unease rose within me as I found the corridor empty. Strange. I knew I had heard footsteps.

My mind immediately raced with countless possibilities, each more dire than the last. Had Baradaz betrayed me after all, telling the Ten of my whereabouts?

Or was it another of the Chiasma, the dark acolytes of Chaos who had served me during the war, come to finish what Tharion had started?

I had thrown away the Chaosdagger he had used to injure me, knowing it would lead them to me, but the precaution might not have been enough.

The shadows drifting over my vision deepened. The world tilted, my legs suddenly weak. Then darkness swallowed me whole.

I woke to a hand caressing my face, my head cushioned by something soft. Genuine worry filled Baradaz’s bright silver eyes as she cradled my head in her lap. For a precious moment, her mask of cool indifference had dropped.

“What were you thinking? Do you want to kill yourself?” she asked, her annoyance not hiding her concern.

Her fingers gently combed through my hair, and I couldn’t help but lean into the touch. Maybe being Human wasn’t so bad.

“I was milking the araks,” Baradaz said, shaking her head. “You’re lucky Bane fetched me. It might have been hours before I checked on you.”

Ah, that explained the faint scent of milk clinging to her. I sighed and closed my eyes, knowing I should enjoy this while it lasted .

“Is it so hard to understand that I don’t want anyone to see me like this?” I asked when her hand stilled.

Her scoff made me glance up. “Your cursed pride…” She shook her head. “One would think someone who has suffered so many defeats, who has been imprisoned for centuries, would be cured of it by now.”

Reminding me of my defeats brought her a certain amount of pleasure, didn’t it? I sat up, tired of my own weakness.

“No, that’s not it,” I said, my voice sharper. “I don’t want you to see me like this.” Our eyes clashed, a sudden heaviness in the air. “Not you.”

Baradaz looked away first. She had her own share of pride. And pride like ours did not come easy. It was honed over millennia.

“Fine,” she replied after a pointed silence, carefully helping me to my feet. “But wait for me next time.”

With her support, I stumbled back to the bed, exhaustion pulling me into a deep slumber. The last thing I felt was Baradaz tugging the blankets around me.

Chaos sizzled in the air, an uncomfortable ache in my bones that jolted me from sleep with a gasp. For a long moment, I stared wide-eyed into the darkness of the bedroom. The growl of thunder guided my gaze to the window. Night had fallen. I must have slept through the entire day after my collapse.

Each bolt of lightning made my body tense involuntarily, the release of magic tugging at me with an almost overwhelming force.

Curse it! I had hoped this wouldn’t happen anytime soon.

Even without my powers, Chaos continued to haunt me, a bitter reminder of my loss.

My weak mortal body could no longer control the power raging in the storm outside .

I had learned that lesson the hard way. After Aramaz had dropped me off following my punishment, I had holed up in Isterath, a small town in the Kingdom of Mekat, seeking shelter in an unremarkable inn and spending the money my brother had given me.

I quickly discovered that alcohol was the easiest way to numb the crushing loss and impotent rage that pulsed inside me.

Most of that time was lost in a haze of being roaring drunk.

When I had sensed the force of Chaos in the air one night, I dashed outside like a lunatic, hoping to reclaim what had been taken from me.

It nearly got me killed. The untamed magic called for me, but I couldn’t harness its power.

It burned through my veins like wildfire, slipping through my fingers again and again.

I survived only by sheer luck after falling into a small brook on the outskirts of the city, the cold water clearing my senses.

After that incident, I stayed far away from any eruption of Chaos or dulled my senses with drinking until the pain passed. Neither of those were an option tonight.

I groaned as lightning struck with increasing frequency, my body convulsing.

Everything inside me screamed to go outside, to give myself over to the magic, to revel in its power for one glorious moment, even if it devoured me afterward.

Desperate, I clasped the wooden headboard above me with one hand. Lyr , why was I so terribly weak?

“Is everything alright?”

Lost in my misery, I barely noticed Baradaz entering the room.

“I thought I would check on you, since the storm is quite bad and…” A gasp above me, and then a warm hand on my forehead. “What is wrong? You’re shivering.” I noticed a hint of concern in her voice as she carefully placed the blankets I had tossed aside back on top of me .

“Chaos magic,” I forced out, my vision blurring as I tried to focus on her. Her figure was a flash of red and white, a bright beacon in the storm of my mind. “It pulls on me… and the need for it… Lyr !” Another seizure ripped through my body, my muscles convulsing uncontrollably.

“A side effect of using Chaos magic for so long?” she asked, her voice devoid of compassion despite her firm grip on my hand. “What do you normally do when this happens? I assume you have a way to deal with it, otherwise people would have realized long ago that you have a connection to Chaos.”

I shook my head, trying to clear the fog from my thoughts. “Distract myself,” I muttered, a rough chuckle escaping me. “You could bring me some of that vile moonshine. That would help.”

Seeing that I could sit up, Baradaz withdrew her hand from my grasp. “I am not helping you replace one addiction with another,” she commented, moving to the window. “For what it’s worth, the worst of the storm has passed. It should get better soon.”

I glared at her, annoyed at the prospect of enduring this torment for several more hours. Would it really kill her to allow me a few sips of booze? But then, she probably thought I deserved the discomfort.

“Spare me your self-righteous condescension,” I growled. “I am well aware—”

“Quiet!” Baradaz interrupted, her gaze fixed on the storm outside. Her voice remained eerily calm as she said, “There is someone lurking at the barn.”

“What?” Alarm raged through me so violently, I instantly forgot about my predicament.

“Stay here.” Before I could say anything more, she had hurried toward the door.

“Are you out of your mind? You can’t go out there alone,” I exclaimed, making her pause in the doorway. “You don’t even know who or what is waiting for you.”

“I haven’t needed your help in the last few years, and I won’t need it now,” Baradaz retorted.

“There was Chaos magic around them. So, there are two possibilities: this is one of your crazed followers trying to find his fallen god. Or it is whoever tried to kill you, here to finish what they started. Either way, I don’t trust you at my back. ”

She left, likely to fetch her spear. My irritation turned to worry.

While she had the power of a goddess and could easily handle most enemies, she was also the most stubborn creature in existence.

I wouldn’t put it past her to refrain from using her magic to keep her location secret from the Ten—a decision that could prove fatal if the person waiting for her outside was who I feared it to be. Some things could hurt even the Aurea.

Curse me to the deepest part of the Abyss. I had brought terrible danger to her doorstep.

Ignoring the excruciating pain that tore through my body, I forced myself out of bed and limped toward the door.