Page 31 of Darkest Craving

He blinks, taken aback. He looks exhausted, and on a night like this, I’d give him anything he needs… because I love him. I love him, and this couldn’t be any fucking harder. He might have been the man who put me back together, but now he’s breaking me harder than anyone ever has.

I expect him to turn cold, tell me he was busy, but his eyes warm up when a smile stretches across his lips. My heart skips a beat. But I know better than to believe his lies now.

“I hate every goddamn second I’m away from you,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to my trembling lips.

It’s soft, tender, and I mewl as my mind resists the urge to lean back for more.

“But I had to leave you here today, so you were safe, love, while I chopped up the body of the fucker who shot at us yesterday. Yes,” he says when he sees me frown, “This is why I couldn’t take you with me.

I might have dragged you into my world, but that doesn’t mean I won’t protect you from seeing its horrors.

Your job is to be happy and loved.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his warm skin touching mine, a sizzle of electricity coursing through me.

“Mine is to make sure I create a safe space for you, so you can do just that.”

His eyelids grow heavy as he says it, and a long, deep sigh leaves his chest. It pains me to do it, but I jerk my chin away from his touch. Retreating to the edge of my pillow, I look up at the ceiling, at the shadows swaying in the dark.

“It’s alright, love,” he murmurs, his voice softer than a whisper. “You’re my good girl. I’ll take care of you…”

Sorrow slides in and out of my body with every breath. I squeeze my eyelids shut, trying my hardest to keep it together. I should ask him about what happened to Anya and my mom. But didn’t Sasha already confirm it? What other confirmation am I looking for? Why can’t I just do what needs to be done?

Because you love him. Because you’re still clinging to the hope that he’s not the monster you thought he was.

I think about all of that, reeling with my indecision.

“Will you even be here tomorrow?” I ask, a shred of guilt seeping between the cracks of my heart because I know damn well what I’m doing right now. I’m prying. Getting anything from him that I can use if I decide to go to Ekaterina for help.

This is all his fault.

“I had to lie to my father today. I told him I took care of the problem, but I only did that partially. I just wanted to come home—to you. I’m tired, love, and you’re the only one who can put me to sleep right now.”

He looks away, then back at me, appearing vulnerable for the first time since meeting him. Like he’s giving himself over to me with what he’s telling me.

“You have to understand. One wrong move, and I lose everything I’ve worked for.

They’re all waiting for me to slip up once.

” He sighs, his shoulders slouching under the weight of all the stress and responsibility he carries around.

My eyes soften, but I keep my heart locked.

“I know it means nothing to you, and I don’t blame you after everything I did to you, but if I do this…

maybe my family will finally accept me.”

And there it is. That shred of guilt again.

It grows, and grows, twisting around me like a serpent until my lungs beg for air.

If he truly is lying to me about my family—and he is —how can he be so sincere now?

We lay in silence for the next few minutes. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to blow my only chance at getting my family out of this mess by letting him know I know the truth. But at the same time, he’s… Wolf. He’s my husband.

Maybe I really am an idiot for giving him this one last chance, but my heart begs me to. I don’t feel like I have another choice.

“I need you to tell me the truth,” I whisper, still looking at the ceiling. I take in a deep breath before I exhale it slowly. “Did you do what they say you did…? Did you sell my sister and my mother to whoever wanted them?”

I wait for the answer in horror, my body locked in place, waiting for the truth to drop. I want him to laugh at the absurdity I’m implying. Anything would be better than it actually being true.

“What?” he asks. When I turn to him, his eyes are squinted. As if he’s taken aback.

“You heard me.”

“Victoria…” He sighs. “What did I tell you back at the restaurant?”

My heart hammers in my chest. “To trust you.”

“And up until tonight, you didn’t seem to have a problem with that.” He gets up, sitting on the bed with his back to me.

“I saw you.” I swallow. “Videos were sent to me. People told me what you did to Anya and my mom. I saw everything, so forgive me for not feeling like I can trust you too much right now.”

“You saw me…” he echoes. “And what exactly was I doing in those videos?”

I don’t hesitate. “Your men were shoving them in cars forcefully. Took them out of their beds in nothing but nightgowns. And you were there, walking alongside them, giving out orders. Like I said, I saw everything.”

“Of course you did.” He scoffs. “Who the fuck showed you? Who told you to watch them? No, actually, don’t tell me. It doesn’t even matter.”

“You’re right, it doesn’t. But is that all you’re going to say about it?” I shake my head. He did it. And he’s not even trying to defend himself. Why else would he be deflecting?

“I come home after doing everything in my fucking power to find the man wanting us dead, and you pretend to be upset about that, when in reality, you’d already made up your mind about whom to trust. And it wasn’t me. Not one bit.”

I sit up. “No, it wasn’t, because like I said, I have proof. And you don’t! So what am I supposed to believe, Wolfgang? Are you asking me not to believe my own eyes?”

“How can you…” He laughs, and it’s chilling. There’s nothing amusing about this laugh. “How can you even ask me that? Fuck. You know, Victoria, maybe the reason nobody back home wanted you around is because you’re incapable of understanding who’s actually on your side.”

My breath leaves my lungs all at once.

“W-What? How can you say that to me…?” A wave of sadness flows through me, bringing my shoulders down. If anyone understands how it feels to be unwanted, it’s him. So for him to use that against me…

Wolfgang gets up, and it’s clear he doesn’t want to be around me anymore. He’s leaving. And I’m losing parts of myself right now, before his eyes.

“Sure. Leave. Run away,” I say, tears lodged in my throat. “Once again, you’re showing me I was right not to fall for your lies.”

His head turns to me, eyes thunderous. I hold my breath, unable to look anywhere else.

“You’ll believe whatever you want to believe, love. And you’ll do whatever you want. Maybe all of you Romanovs are the same, after all.”

“ Maybe ,” I seethe, crawling on the bed until I’m closer to his side. “I wouldn’t have to believe what others tell me if you were straight with me for once!”

He turns fully, but halts. As if he’s reeling with himself on how to handle the situation.

“Are you seriously saying that if I told you none of what you saw happened, you’d believe me?”

I open my mouth to answer, but no words come out.

Sasha always taught me to believe my own eyes.

Especially in a brutal world like ours where things are very matter-of-fact.

And the truth is… the proof is indisputable.

Unless Wolfgang specifically shows me otherwise.

But he doesn’t seem like he’s defending himself at all right now.

By the time I think of something to say, he's out the door.

Pain like I’ve never known seizes my chest and my throat. My shoulders shake with sobs, and for the first time in months, I feel alone again. As if we’re right back where we started.