Page 55

H.A.Z.E

I t's weakening.

The enslavement mark; a twisted thing wrapping around my veins and pulsing faintly like a second heartbeat. The Saviour's magic. His leash. A shackle buried so deep, it feels like a part of me. But not for much longer.

My fingers twitch at my sides, the edges of my nails scraping against the rough stone of the fountain as the power binding me begins to fray. It's faint at first, a subtle slackening of weight, but I feel it.

Essy stirs, her eyes blinking open in the blackness. I close my eyes, standing just out of reach of the veil of shadows. Her golden eyes pierce the void like twin flames, and those unnaturally cold eyes peer into mine.

“It won't be long now,” Essy says, her voice weak and small. “ We can leave. Return to the Red Zone.”

" Careful, Essy, " I muse, my hands tied behind my back, pacing the small length. " You're starting to sound desperate. "

“You were about to kill them.” There’s a tremor in her voice despite her efforts to conceal it. “ All of them.”

" Of course, " I say, my voice smooth, almost playful. It carries through the darkness, weaving itself into the shadows like silk threads. " They tried to control me. Tried to make me compliant. Of course I would kill them. "

Her eyes flicker now, uncertain. " I know, " she says, her words low, nervous. " I understand that now. "

I trail a hand along the edge of the barrier, the magic thrumming faintly beneath my fingertips. It reacts to me, recognising me as its master. " It's so strange, " I murmur. " A week ago, you had so much to say, and now you're… weak."

“The mark,” Essy whispers, but there's hesitation in her tone, a faint tremor that she can't quite disguise, “ the final stage is taking quite a lot out of me.”

" Is it? " I stop pacing and tilt my head, my lips curling into a subtle and sharp smirk.

" I feel it, you know. His venom — its warmth, its grip, its strength. It hasn’t changed since I was marked, so I thought perhaps I wouldn't feel it until it was actually broken.

Because if I can't feel it, the Saviour can't — but that's not the case, is it? "

The darkness ripples as if she's trying to see what I'm thinking, why I'm suddenly here… talking to her.

“This is the first time anything like this has happened,” she says, her voice steady, though I catch the faintest edge of nervousness.

It's the way her words come too quickly, the way her golden eyes flash with the slightest flicker of unease, and I smile inwardly. “ I'm not sure how it works myself.”

I let out a soft hum, tapping my fingers against my chin as I take another slow step forward. I see her jolt. I hear her take a step back. My words come out in a whisper, low and dangerous.

"Liar."

The word lingers, and I savour the weight of it. Her golden eyes widen, pupils dilating. She's afraid— good. " Haze, I —"

" Lie to me. " My smirk deepens, but my hands are clenching almost painfully. " I dare you, my twin soul. "

Her silence stretches, but I hear the faint rustle of movement as she shifts uneasily in the shadows. " I was only trying to help you… I thought it was what you would've wanted. "

" What I wanted was for you to break the bond, " I murmur, my words soft now, almost gentle. " I wanted my enemies at my feet, their blood on my skin — pleading, crying, begging for mercy. That's what I wanted. " My smirk falls then, my words cold. " What made you think it wasn't? "

Her breath catches—the tiniest sound, the only sign of her panic. The tension between us hums, a coiled thing waiting to snap. I revel in it; the power of knowing she's trapped, the satisfaction of hearing the faint cracks in her composure.

" You knew. This whole time, you've known that Reece was my sister, and you've known about… "

"Shadow," she whispers, her words soft and thick with grief. " The moment he touched you, I started to remember him. I remembered both of you. "

" And you didn't say anything. "

" I couldn't, " she explains, her words sounding choked, " and without your memories, you would have killed them. "

" And the Saviour? If you knew, so did Umbra. " I cock a brow. " Does his creature like to play these silly little games? "

" Umbra can't speak. " I narrow my gaze, hands clenching. " It was the final stage. I think… it changed him. "

Even so, perhaps it explains why Riot can't kill me. Why he's always chosen the alternative path to death—even when I killed the Defect, Leila, fucked with Reece, almost killed Seth and Alissa. It explains everything… and I can use that.

Because Essy's right; I do want to kill the Saviour.

" I remember, you know, " I tell her and take a step into the void. " Ricci. His men. The experiments. The games — everything. But you know that already, don't you? "

" I wanted to protect them, and I wanted to protect you, " she says, her tone defensive, but it wavers, uncertain. " You don't know what killing them would have done to you, because you don't understand what they meant to you. It would've broken you. "

" Look at me, Essy. " I laugh bitterly, the sound sharp and jagged. " I'm a mess of broken pieces held together by anger and spite, and you think you can protect me from it? "

Essy's golden eyes flare, and for the first time, she looks angry. " I'm always protecting you. I'm always trying to hold you together, because I know you, Haze. I know if you could only let yourself remember, you wouldn't want this, either. "

My heart pounds, a frantic rhythm that echoes in the void. I take a step closer, the distance between us shrinking.

" You and me, we had a neat little arrangement, " I muse, but there was nothing humorous in my tone. " You didn't like the light, and I didn't like the look of your face. We worked. "

The darkness around me thickens; it's suffocating inside, but I endure one step at a time. " Haze, I only wanted to —"

" Protect me. " My words are sharp and deep. " You'll always protect me. And I get it — I do. You have as little control as I do, and despite what you think, Essy, I've never hated you. "

Essy's gaze lowers, her golden eyes dimming. For a moment, she looks small, vulnerable, nothing like the powerful entity that's been a constant presence in my mind.

Her words are broken when she whispers, " I know. "

" You're the only one who understands me. " I stop walking, the weight of my words hanging between us. My voice almost gentle, I say, " The only one who knows why I do the things I do. Think the way I think. The only one. And that’s why you’re afraid. Because you know better than anyone… I’m my own worst nightmare . "

" Don't, Haze. " Her power lashes out, a sudden surge that slams into me, forcing me back.

The void trembles with her grief and fury.

"Don't. You loved them. You loved them so much.

Because for them, you were selfless and never — not once — did you regret it.

And deep down, you're terrified to remember, because you know what it'll mean. "

Her words hit me like a physical blow. The air leaves my lungs, and the darkness around me ripples, shifting. My hands clench at my sides, nails digging into my palms as I force myself to breathe.

" You know nothing, " I say, but the words are weak, hollow.

" I know you're afraid of killing Riot. " Her voice is steady, filled with quiet conviction. " You're afraid of what happens after. You're afraid of what you'll see when the darkness clears. "

" Why do you care if I remember them? " I whisper, my voice low and dangerous. The void trembles as I step closer, and she falters. Suddenly, I'm on her, my foot slamming into her chest, and the sound of her body hitting the void echoes in my ears. " Why, Essy? "

Her golden eyes shimmer, filled with unspoken grief. " Because, " she says, the words fragile but unyielding, " you loved them. "

Something in her tone—fragile and honest—lingers in the air, and for the first time, I feel the weight of her words settle into me. They press down on me, suffocating me, and for a moment, I can’t move, can’t speak.

But I can't remember them. I try, but every time I dig through the fog, all I find is darkness. The memories slip through my fingers like smoke, too far gone, swallowed whole by the void that consumes everything.

'She would be so disappointed in you, and so am I.'

The memories are there, just out of reach, but the harder I try to grasp them, the more they slip away. Smoke and shadows that are lost to the void. And yet… Part of me wonders if it even matters anymore.

“ Maybe, ” I say softly, the words barely a whisper, “ the biggest kindness I can give them is to let them believe she’s dead. ”

Essy flinches, her gaze dropping. The silence stretches between us, thick and suffocating. When I finally speak again, my voice is calm, cold, and unyielding.

" But your concern shouldn't be about me remembering them, Essy, " I say, tilting my head. A bitter smile curls at my lips. " Because how can I love them… when I can't even love you? "