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R.E.E.C.E

D rip!

Drip!

Drip!

The sound echoes in the cold and empty darkness and presses against me from every side. The only noise that almost resembles a clock ticking is my tears as they roll off my lashes and shatter into the pool of water gathered around my knees.

It's heavy. Everything feels so heavy.

There's an emptiness inside me—cold and hollow and deep. It hurts, but not in the way it feels to break a bone or when you're beaten black and blue. Because I know that feeling; I've been on the other end of that kind of anger. I know the pain.

This pain is different. This pain is empty. I'm breathing, but it feels like it's passing through me and not into me—it hurts.

'Shh, don't cry, Baby. You need to be punished; how else will you learn?'

Fear coils around me, sharp and suffocating, as the phantom touch of Damien's cold fingers run through my hair. It’s a deception—like this darkness. It isn’t freedom; it’s imprisonment. I smile and laugh and hide all the things that hurt me so deeply.

Is this what it had created? Is this the darkness I let fester and grow inside me? Is this all I am?

More tears fall, and my nails pierce the skin on my knees as thoughts—so many thoughts—collide in a chaotic whirlwind, a cacophony of shame, anger, desperation and the most potent of all, guilt that only the darkness can hear.

The coldness wraps around me, and the quiet becomes suffocating.

In the depths of chaos, something tugs on my consciousness, fractured and untethered, towards a glimmer; a ripple of light that breaks through the abyss.

It shines beside my knees like a tiny, fragile portal, its surface shifting and swirling like liquid glass.

I gasp, leaning forward, my hand splashing into the water on either side of the light as I peer through, and I find myself staring at myself— again. Earlier, I was burning a man's business to the ground; now, I seem to be dancing on the edge of a roof.

I clench my fists, desperate, as the image comes into focus, and I shake my head in denial. 'This isn't me. I don't want this!'

But nobody seems to hear me. Nobody is listening. More tears fall as Alissa turns to me with horror, betrayal, and fear in her green eyes. She’s terrified, and she’s exhausted. And she’s looking at me like I am the monster.

Perhaps I am. Perhaps this is who I've always been.

Riot stands opposite us, his face a mask of anger as his focus remains on Haze. She’s talking, but I can’t hear a word coming out of her mouth. It’s muffled and distorted as if it were submerged in water.

'No. Please!'

My hand lies on the back of Alissa's chair as I stare at Riot, the first man I had met who never hurt me, who put my son's happiness before his own, who wanted me to smile constantly because he heard my sister telling him how much she loved to smile, that we shared the same smile.

Riot was always there, always ready to save me from myself, from my abusive ex, from the dangers of the outside world. Even if he had to go against his own moral code to do it, he did. He did it for Eden and me both, and how do I thank him? How do I repay the debt I owe him?

'I don't want this, Riot. I don't!'

Haze turns then, her eyes so bright the light distorts her face, so all I can see are those golden eyes and the dark smirk along her lips. She's looking right at me, waiting. And it's then I hear it; the nagging in the back of my head comes into focus, and it’s all I hear.

'No! No, stop!' I cry, and suddenly, I'm right there. On the rooftop, watching Alissa struggle and beg and try to free herself from the ropes holding her down. I only realise I'm smiling when my face begins to hurt.

"Reece… P-Please… W-Wait… No, no, no…"

Alissa leans back. Wait, no. That's not right. I'm pushing her over the ledge. I can hear them now; I can hear their screams. I just don't care.

"Stop!"

"Riot!"

Alissa falls, her screams ringing into the night. Haze simply tilts her head towards Riot, her words cold, robotic, chilling. "Fetch."