Page 6 of Dark Hope (Dark Carpathians #38)

Chapter 6

“Silke,” Gesina Laninga said, “we’ve had an influx of tourists. They want the garden tours, and your home is included on the tour.”

Silke had made her way from the village, across the meadow to the forest, where she was once again working on transplanting medicinal plants to much more advantageous locations. She had slept in, exhausted from the all-night fight with the sea monster. She worried that Tora hadn’t had enough time to conceal her resting place and that Raik might wake and the demon would gain control before Silke could figure out how to draw him from the body of his host.

Plants and soil were soothing to Silke. She found it relaxing to garden or work with the wild plants. Although she enjoyed her interactions with the villagers, she needed solitude after a prolonged battle with a demon. The breeze in her hair, touching her face with a delicate wisp of wind, gave her badly needed solace. The sound of the wind playing through the leaves on the trees, the continuous creak of branches, and the scurrying of lizards and mice through the vegetation on the ground acted like a symphony of music, calming her. She recharged when she went to her beloved forest. When she had her hands deep in the soil. When she was surrounded by nature.

Silke sank back on her heels and looked up at Gesina. “This isn’t the best time of year to show off gardens.” She wished they hadn’t fixed the road so quickly after the storm. Nachtbloem didn’t have an airport to fly into. Visitors traveled by car to get to them. They were remote. They had all the modern amenities, but as a rule, they kept to themselves, other than to sell goods to the closest towns and cities.

“Unfortunately, on the website, we did advertise the garden tours. I hoped we could include your home and maybe even this garden?” The last ended on a hopeful note.

Silke shook her head. “This shouldn’t be on the tour. I don’t want to take the chance of anyone stepping on my plants. We need these for medications.” She didn’t add that many of the plants were poisonous. They needed those for defense. “We also like to keep strangers from our forest. It’s best if we stick with the homes and estates in the village.”

Gesina sighed. “I knew you’d say that. It’s just that they’re paying quite a bit for the tour, and I don’t want them to be disappointed because so many of the plants are not blooming right now.”

“They should expect that if they know anything at all about flowers,” Silke said.

“What time will you be home? Fenja said she wasn’t up to showing the gardens to anyone.” This time, there was concern in her voice. “What’s going on with her, Silke? She loves to show off the gardens.”

“Her arthritis is becoming a problem for her,” Silke admitted, unable to keep worry from her tone. It was more than that. Fenja’s heart, despite Tora’s repeated healing sessions, was wearing out. She often was short of breath and shaky. She never complained, but Silke watched her carefully and could see that Fenja’s health was slipping downhill.

“I’m sorry, Silke,” Gesina said immediately. “I know how close you are to your mother. It’s evident anytime I see you together. You look at her so lovingly, and she looks at you the same way.”

“She’s the best,” Silke said simply, meaning it. She pressed a palm over her aching heart. The thought of losing Fenja was too much to bear, so she tried never to think about that probability. She knew it was inevitable. Fenja was up there in age, and despite her knowledge of natural medicine, and her careful diet and exercise, she had always had health problems. Not that she ever complained. She didn’t. Silke had never heard her complain, even when she knew her adoptive mother was quite pained.

“Spread joy,” Fenja had told her. “It costs you nothing to be joyful and kind. Give back to others. Always spread joy.”

Fenja had always lived by her mandate. Everyone who knew her loved her. She was an example of serenity and calm. In any situation, no matter the crisis, Fenja could be counted on. Silke had big shoes to fill. Fenja was such a great example of what a kind human being could bring to the world. Many times, Silke had watched Fenja deescalate a volatile situation, whether it was adults arguing or children fighting. She tried to emulate her, staying calm in the middle of a storm. She’d always felt lucky having Fenja for a mother.

“Will you be able to do the tour at your house around five this evening? We could end at your gardens. That will give you some more time here before you have to deal with the group.”

“That would be perfect, thank you,” Silke said. “I was hoping to finish transplanting the last of the dragon lilies.”

Gesina wrinkled her nose. “They’re so beautiful, but the smell is awful. And they attract so many flies. Milan wanted me to plant some in our garden because he loves the way they look, but I said absolutely not.”

Silke laughed. “I agree it is best not to have them too close to the house. They do smell like rotting meat.”

“Milan said a corpse.” Gesina gave a delicate little shudder. “He thought if we advertised that they ate flies, more people would come on the tours and we’d make more money.”

“You know they don’t actually eat the flies. The flies are trapped for a short period of time, so the plant is pollinated.”

This was the first time she had an inkling that Milan and Gesina might be in financial difficulties. She knew they had invested in pastureland to raise cows. It had taken most of their money to swing the deal. She’d heard rumors that they had taken a partner—a friend, Ese Jordan, whom Milan had gone to school with—who had talked them into the investment. Gesina and Milan had always wanted to raise dairy cows, and they were willing to put in the work. Ese had the knowledge.

“How are all your cows? I haven’t heard you talk about them lately. I only went by a couple of times when you were putting up the shelters for them. They’re beautiful animals and seemed sweet.”

“They are sweet,” Gesina confirmed. She hesitated. “Unfortunately, several of our best cows were sold off. They produced large amounts of milk and were amazing mothers.” She turned away, but Silke saw the sheen of tears on her face.

“You sold your cows? You loved them so much, Gesina.”

“I didn’t sell them. Milan and I weren’t even told they were being sold.” Bitterness crept into her voice. “It seems Ese thinks he’s the senior partner, and although we put up the money and do the work, he controls everything. Especially the books.”

Silke wiped her hands clean on the cloth she carried for just such a purpose. “He won’t allow you to see the books?”

Gesina shook her head. “Milan and I have been discussing whether we should approach the elders over this matter. Ese did suggest we put our home on the garden tour, which was a good idea and quite the compliment. Still, he doesn’t go near the farm to help. Milan and I do most of the work. We had help to begin with but had to lay the workers off.”

“You think he’s siphoning off money for his gambling.” Silke made it a statement. There was no judgment in her voice. She sounded strictly neutral, something she’d learned from Fenja. She didn’t portray sympathy or hint that she agreed with Gesina. She wanted to appear as a friend who would listen without judging either side. She’d deliberately used “siphoning” rather than “embezzling.” She knew Ese and Milan had been good friends in school.

Gesina looked around her as if the forest might have ears. It did. Had she looked closely, Gesina might have noticed two branches bending slightly toward them, the movement against the wind. She might have seen eyes peeking out at them from the clusters of moss growing on trees and rocks. Or the way the closest fallen tree adjusted part of the fallen log toward them. Gesina saw none of those things. Most people didn’t. Evi Van Wieren, a child of eleven, did and she believed.

Gesina lowered her voice to a whisper. “I know he’s taken our money. The dairy should have been turning a nice profit, but Ese claims we’re losing massive amounts of money for feed, vet bills, fencing, pretty much you name it, he claims we’re spending the money on it. That’s just not true. The fencing is up. We’ve always paid the vet bills when they come out to see to the cows. He says we owe them a huge debt. Milan doesn’t want to believe that Ese would steal from us, but…” She trailed off and wrapped her arms around her waist protectively.

Knowledge blossomed. “Gesina, are you pregnant?”

Tears glistened in her eyes as she nodded. “We’ve wanted a baby forever. We thought we would be in a good financial position and were so excited, and now everything’s a mess.”

“Have you been to the doctor?”

Gesina shook her head. “We didn’t want to spend the money.”

“Honey.” Silke stood up and stretched. Her body ached. She still felt as if she needed to lie down for a few hours with the covers over her head. “You know you can’t go without medical attention. You’re autoimmune. At least have Fenja examine you to ensure the baby is growing properly and you aren’t having any problems.”

Gesina twisted her fingers together. “Fenja has always been so good to us. She never charges money. She’ll take food from the garden or my canned food in payment, but it isn’t fair to her. She has bills to pay just like we do.” She hesitated and then made her admission. “I did call her when I got worried because I was so stressed. My blood pressure was up. I didn’t tell her why I wanted to see her, but she asked if it could wait for a few days. I knew she wasn’t feeling good, so I assured her there was no hurry.”

“Why didn’t you call me? Fenja trained me, Gesina. I might not be the best, but I’m better than nothing.”

For some reason, that made Gesina smile. She gave a little shake of her head. “You’re every bit as good as Fenja, but you’re worse when it comes to taking compensation.”

Silke’s heart quickened. “I charge too much? You never said anything to me, Gesina. I would have been happy to take less.”

“You do an exchange just as Fenja does, for our products, but you have them delivered to various homes—not yours. You never actually receive payment.”

“Is that what you think?” Silke frowned at her. “Those families really need help at times, Gesina. I don’t can the way you do. You have fresh vegetables all year round. Food is the most important, sometimes more important than money. If either one of us gave them money, they’d pay other bills and go without eating. Times have been very hard for a few of the older villagers. I appreciate your always giving me fresh vegetables and canned food because so many need it.”

“I had no idea,” Gesina said. “We often have too many vegetables for us to eat. I would be happy to help. But that still doesn’t give you compensation for your work. You have bills like everyone else.”

“Fenja and I do fine. Come to the house this evening around seven. The tour should be over, and you and Milan will have eaten. If you prefer, I could drop by your house.” She made the offer, but she didn’t want to go out to their farm. It wasn’t a long distance away, but she needed to consult with Tora about how best to try to remove the demon from Raik. That problem needed to be resolved before they could bring him out of his induced sleep. She worried the demon would find a way to do more damage to Raik if they didn’t get the creature out of him quickly.

The problem was enormous. She was certain the serpent had been designed to continue evolving. She didn’t know if the original was the only one made that way or if its offspring would have the same traits. It hadn’t seemed like they did, but they were extremely young. It could be that they also evolved the longer they were alive.

“Milan and I will come to your house,” Gesina said. “Thank you for agreeing to do the tour. One of the things the head of the group especially asked about was the medicinal plants. Your garden contains the most of any of our gardens.”

A small frisson of awareness crept down her spine. A faint alarm fluttered in her belly. “This tour group specifically asked about medicinal plants?”

“They’re very interested in all the types of plants in this area,” Gesina confirmed. “Even poisonous plants. I told them we had a couple of experts who could talk to them.”

“Not me.” Silke was firm.

Gesina laughed. “I knew you’d say ‘absolutely not’ so I didn’t mention you. I know your dislike of lecturing. I wouldn’t do that to you. And you’re the busiest person I know. I asked both Ethel and Bart Terpstra to give the lecture to them. They love talking about local plants.”

Silke couldn’t help the feeling of relief. Ethel and Bart were great friends of Fenja. Silke had known them all her life. They could gossip with the best of them, but never about anything important. They kept private lives private. Bart was on the council of elders. He was one who firmly believed the villagers should always be prepared to protect themselves against Lilith. They believed that the stories handed down from generation to generation were more than just stories.

If anyone questioned them about Silke or Fenja, they would politely stonewall them. In fact, they would be very suspicious of anyone asking questions about the two healers. No one ever mentioned Tora to outsiders. If tourists caught a glimpse of her at night, they thought she was an outsider, a tourist wandering through the ancient town. She would quickly disappear and fade from their memories.

“Thanks for keeping me out of it,” Silke said. “And you’re right, Ethel and Bart love talking about the local flowers, plants and trees.”

“They have so much knowledge to share,” Gesina said. She laid her palm over her womb, where her baby was hopefully growing and healthy. “I try to talk to them a couple of times a week. I learn so much. Milan has a good relationship with Bart. They go fishing together at times. I usually take Ethel to lunch. I really enjoy her company.”

Milan came from a large family. His parents were still alive and thriving. He had a brother and sister and several cousins. Gesina, like Silke, had lost her mother early. Her father had died when she was seventeen. She had no grandparents. Milan’s family loved her and accepted her with open arms. Silke could hear the note of longing in her voice. She would have liked to have had grandparents, family on her side to share her child with.

Silke thought about how not having family would make her feel as Gesina began her trek across the meadow to return home. Silke only had Fenja and Tora. If she did marry this ancient man and had children with him, she had no idea where he would want to live. She wouldn’t want to leave Fenja or Tora, her only family, especially if she was going to have children. She hadn’t considered what it would mean to be tied to a stranger who came from a different land.

She once again began the process of planting the remainder of the starts she had in the buckets into the ground. She positioned them for maximum light or shade, drainage and the proper soil. She talked to them as she worked, whispering encouragement and love. As she did, the realization came to her that she might want children after all. For the last few years, she had convinced herself she wasn’t a woman who would be good in a relationship. She didn’t want to raise a daughter to be a demon slayer. That legacy had been handed down for generations from mother to daughter. Kneeling in the dirt, hands in the soil, whispering to her plants and the other ears and eyes in the forest, she knew she had been very wrong about herself.

After admitting to herself that she did want a husband and children after all, she knew she needed to decide what kinds of traits were important to her in a husband. What kind of marriage did she want? She had to decide those things before the stranger she was promised to arrived. She didn’t feel in the least bit indebted to him. Or as if she owed him a marriage. She was a demon slayer, and she guarded his soul. She did both things to the best of her ability. She had no problem with transferring his soul back to him without the least commitment of marriage on her part. It made no sense to her that she would have to do both.

She was not a woman who followed rules. She certainly wasn’t the kind of woman to marry a stranger and expect a fairy-tale ending. Her life didn’t work like that. Her personality would never accept most men into her life. She knew that with absolute certainty. From the time she was little, she remembered thinking she would be alone all her life. When she watched interactions between couples in the village, even those in really good relationships, she knew she was too different to share her life with a man.

Silke made her way back to the village while she contemplated her inability to deal with the opposite sex and their traits. She knew there were good men in the village, many of them. Raik was one. She desperately wanted to save him because he was such a good man, and he loved his wife and daughter. His laughter was contagious and booming. He made his wife feel beautiful, accomplished and loved. There were many men like Raik. But Raik was also the sole head of his house. She didn’t see the relationship between Raik and Imka as a true partnership. What was a true partnership? Was there any such thing? She doubted it. What did she want?

The house she called home was nestled in the middle of extensive gardens. Fenja had begun working to plant and transform her small estate the moment she had acquired the property. She’d poured more time and effort and money into the landscaping and extensive gardens than she had into the house. Silke had been the one to modernize the house.

Silke always took a moment to appreciate that first sight of her home. She knew she would never tire of it. The house was set right in the center of the land. The various gardens circled the stone house in rings, giving the appearance of colors and texture rising around what Silke had always considered a fairy-tale two-story house. Because the house was constructed of stone, vines and moss grew on the sides and in the cracks between the rough rocks. The roofline looked like the wings of a bird spread across the rocks in protection. A porch circled the house, front and back, with tall columns to support the overhang shading the verandah.

Because they lived so close to the forest and there were trees planted all over the property, Silke considered that with the abundant gardens and native trees, brush and wildflowers, they lived in a magical kingdom that extended across the meadow to the forest. As a child, she had lived in a world of dragons, fairies and other magical—mythical to most—elements.

She had grown up with a logical, responsible brain, but a fantasy heart. Over the years, she secretly maintained that childhood outlook on the world. She thought it was the reason she tended to connect with the children. She told wild stories they all loved. She laughed with them when she was a little more reserved around adults. She found young children hilarious. She loved their take on the world around them. They were full of insight and information most adults ignored. She found it strange that it hadn’t occurred to her that she wanted to be a mother. The interaction with the children should have tipped her off.

She walked up the path leading to the house, surrounded by the circles of plants, ferns and bushes. Just taking that path always gave her immense pleasure. Any care she had lightened or disappeared entirely as she approached the house. Moss covered the winged roof, with its three chimneys and the three very cool and whimsical bow windows jutting out from the upper story on either side of the house. Those rooftops were also covered in moss.

The stone slab walkway and stairs leading up to the house were surrounded by various shades of green, and more dense moss covered boulders and rock surfaces as well as being spread out like a lawn in the front of the house. It not only gave the house a fantasy feel, it looked as if no matter the temperature outside, the inside would stay cool—which it did. It was one of the reasons there were three fireplaces.

When Fenja had purchased the house, it was stone and wood inside. She didn’t spend money on new things, but always kept repairs up. As Silke grew up and began making her own money, she made updates to the interior of the house. Little by little, over the years, she had replaced floors and modernized the kitchen. She also had an indoor spa put in one of the rooms with a fireplace. It was the height of luxury to have after battling demons, when every muscle in her body ached.

She kept the stone flooring in the room. The spa was circled with stone and had two pools. The first was small with a little water feature, the water spilling down the three large stone steps into the much larger pool. The water feature’s sound was soothing to her when she sank into the hot water. If she had a fire going in the fireplace, the room would glow a golden color.

Silke had done a great bit of the stonework herself. She liked working with her hands and learning new things. Some of the stones were far too large for her to maneuver on her own, so she’d hired Clayton Wiesma, a villager with a stone business. His father before him had owned the business, and Clayton knew every trick there was to preserve and enhance stone when he built anything with it, from houses to spas.

Clayton had kept all the stone around the fireplace but added a large area for neatly stacked wood so it was always dry and ready to use. There was a second, smaller space above the wood for kindling, and she kept a large copper two-handled pot to put the kindling in so she could easily carry a small supply to the fireplace.

The spa room rivaled her bedroom for her favorite room. In her bedroom, she had a large round window framed in stone, reminiscent of a hobbit’s door. Her bed was set close to the window, giving her amazing views of the garden. Behind her bed was a tall bookshelf with all her favorite reads on it. The stone fireplace with the stone hearth was positioned in the middle of the room. The heat from the fireplace warmed the stones, making her room cozy. On the floor she had a cherished round rug Fenja had woven for her. She loved her room. It was spacious, unique and a fantasy lover’s dream come true.

She found Fenja in the expansive sitting room, where they greeted most of their guests. Dark wood complemented the stone. The third fireplace was located there, enhancing the feeling of warmth, even when it wasn’t burning.

“I made you a cup of tea.” Fenja indicated the steaming cup sitting on the end table. “You should have slept longer, Silke. You can’t let yourself get run-down.”

That was Fenja, always worrying about her daughter even when Fenja wasn’t feeling her best. She would never complain or let on. If Silke didn’t know her so well, she might buy into her sweet smiles and soft looks. She knew all the little tells Fenja was unaware she had. That slight hesitation after getting up from her chair. Her hands trembling as she cupped them around her tea mug. The biggest signal to Silke that Fenja was in pain was when she pushed at her thick gray hair. She always wore it neat and tidy, pulled into a knot at the back of her head. When it was messy around Fenja’s face from her fingers continually pushing into it, she knew Fenja was really hurting.

“I think you’re right,” Silke admitted. “Thank you for making the tea. It’s the perfect thing to pick me up. Gesina asked me to take a group of tourists through the gardens. We’re the last stop on the tour, which just gives me enough time to drink a cup of tea and clean up before I show the tourists around. Then Gesina will come by with Milan. She’s pregnant and hasn’t had anyone check her out. I told her we would make sure everything is going fine.”

While she made seemingly casual conversation, she studied Fenja, trying to assure herself that she wasn’t losing her adoptive mother. She never thought of being adopted. She didn’t know her birth mother. She knew Fenja. She loved Fenja and thought of her as her mother. Losing her would be intolerable.

“When I was talking to Gesina, I came to the realization that I do want children. I wouldn’t know what to do with them, so I’ll have to rely on you to help me.” She wanted to convey to Fenja that she needed her. She didn’t want Fenja neglecting symptoms or refusing to get assistance from Tora.

Fenja didn’t like Tora to waste strength on her. After any healing session, Tora was always pale and weak. She needed sustenance immediately. Fenja, more than any other in the village, knew about Tora’s differences. She didn’t like it when the healing took such a toll on the Carpathian woman. Tora might be centuries old, but she had appeared as a child, an older sister to Silke. Fenja thought of her as another daughter. In her mind, she protected both girls, not the other way around.

Silke knew Fenja’s thought process, but she wasn’t willing to lose her mother simply because she didn’t want to admit her body was wearing out. She was going to insist again that Tora see exactly what was happening with Fenja’s health.

“I’m happy you decided you want children after all.” Fenja beamed at her. “I would welcome a baby in my arms. Did you decide on this man coming to claim you as the father of your children?”

Silke had been open with Fenja about the Carpathian male coming to their village for more than to aid them in the coming battle. She didn’t hide things from Fenja. They had always discussed everything, and Fenja had always demanded honesty between them.

Silke sighed and took another drink of her tea. “I’m not certain. I’m not just going to be a partner to some man when I know nothing about him. I’m not going to just jump on board with marriage and children. He might be the most overbearing, arrogant jerk in the world.”

Fenja smiled at her. Serene. Sweet. With a raised eyebrow. “From what you told me, this man expects that you will be his wife.”

“I don’t know what he expects. From what Tora told me, the other demon slayers married the men they were promised to. That doesn’t mean I have to. I go my own way, Fenja. You taught me that.”

Fenja’s soft laughter filled Silke’s heart with joy.

“I did, didn’t I?” Fenja admitted. “I stand by that teaching. Always be true to yourself. That doesn’t mean you should be inflexible or unable to compromise. In any relationship there is compromise, but you know that, Silke.”

Silke rested her head on the back of the chair. “We’ll see.”

“I can’t imagine you were promised to anyone unworthy of you.” Fenja regarded her over her tea mug. “Have you found another man? Has someone caught your eye?”

“I grew up with everyone here. I know too much about them all. Too much history.”

“Sometimes that’s a good thing.”

“Not when I think of them all as siblings. Or I’ve friend-zoned them. They’re going to stay in that zone no matter what they want. I would lose my mind being married to any of them.”

Fenja pinned her with a stern eye. “There are many good, single men in the village.”

“I wasn’t saying anything against them,” Silke defended. “It’s just that I’m not in the least attracted to them. I like them as friends, but it doesn’t go any further than that, and I know in my heart it never will.”

Fenja nodded. “I can understand. I had a difficult time with the idea of taking any of the men I grew up with for a partner. I was too independent. I knew I wanted to be a midwife. I also loved plants and learning about their medicinal uses. When I was a young woman, it was expected I marry and have children.”

“Do you regret your decision?”

Fenja shook her head. “No, sweet girl. Not for a minute. Life is too short for regrets. I remember every single wonderful moment, delivering babies, helping the women when they were scared. Each time my hands were in the soil as I learned about medicinal plants, I rejoiced.” Her smile grew radiant and her eyes were soft with open love. For a moment a sheen of liquid brightened the faded blue before she blinked it away. “Then you came into my life. My greatest blessing. My greatest treasure. The miracle I never thought I would have. You completed my life. I have had everything I could ever want.”

Silke’s heart clenched hard in her chest. Fenja always showed her love. Always. But she rarely expressed it in words.

“I’ve always felt so lucky to have you,” Silke said. “I grew up wanting to be just like you. Kind and considerate of others, and knowledgeable in as many things as possible.”

Fenja laughed softly. Happily. “Are you saying we both have a one-track mind?”

Silke laughed with her. “We both are tenacious, that’s for certain.”

“If you don’t connect with your Carpathian warrior, how do you expect to have children?”

Silke winked at her. “I’m very modern.”

“That way doesn’t give you pleasure or fun,” Fenja pointed out.

“But it’s hassle-free,” Silke said. “No poor male will have a wounded ego trying to put up with me.”

“Any man you end up with will count himself lucky to have you in his life,” Fenja said, clearly meaning it. “If he doesn’t, he doesn’t deserve you.”

“You only say that because you love me.” She waved her hand toward the window. “I hate the fact that I must deceive so many people.” She sat up straighter, once again drinking the soothing tea.

“What is it, Silke?” Fenja coaxed. “I know you’re very troubled.”

Silke shoved her hand through her thick hair, wanting to yank at it. “I can’t figure out a very huge problem. I spent all day in the forest with my hands buried in the soil. My mind was calm, and yet the solution didn’t come to me.”

“Sharing makes a burden lighter.”

Silke knew Fenja noticed her hesitation. “It isn’t that I don’t want to tell you. It’s that it involves demons, and sometimes you prefer not to know.”

“I asked you to share, sweet girl.” Fenja waited.

“It’s Raik. He’s in a bad way. He was bitten at sea by a serpent. I heard a suspicious story from Evi that seemed completely out of character. I went to visit him and knew immediately he was tainted with demon. I waited for Tora, and we were able to rid him of the demon. It wasn’t easy, and the serpent didn’t respond to the crystal sword the way demons normally do. But then I realized, after quite a battle, that a demon remained crouched in him. Tora couldn’t find it. I tried finding it while merged with her. I felt the presence of it but was still unable to pinpoint its exact location. In the end, we were both exhausted and very drained. Tora had to find a safe place to rest. We had to leave Raik in what would basically be a medically induced coma in the hopes that the safeguards and commands would keep the demon unconscious as well.”

Silke rubbed her temples. “I feel like an utter failure. Raik is a good man. I still need to give this tour to Gesina’s clients and then see to Gesina. Hopefully Tora will be able to aid me in drawing out the demon when we go back to Raik.”

“I am no demon slayer, but I have seen you time and again change direction in your battle with these creatures. You do so in a split second. Your mind works at an extremely fast rate. Trust yourself. Trust your instincts. Don’t think about Raik or anyone else. Whether you’re a failure or a success in defeating this demon this time, it is simply about gaining experience. If you are unsuccessful in drawing him out, it cannot be counted as you’re not good enough. It means you will come up with another idea and learn from the one that didn’t work.”

Fenja’s voice was low and firm when she gave Silke her advice. Silke knew it was exactly what she needed to hear.