Page 10 of Dark Hope (Dark Carpathians #38)

Chapter 10

Just business. Silke understood business and business arrangements. They were logical and often worked far better than emotional attachments. Watching others as she grew up, she saw couples proclaiming to be madly in love, but that love seemed to die out rather quickly. Fenja had little to say to her after Benedek left, but now she was seated at the table in their dining room, a notepad and pen ready for the negotiations. Benedek and his friend Nicu were scheduled to arrive any moment.

“I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” Silke admitted to her mother. “It isn’t as if I have to accept his terms.”

Fenja lifted an eyebrow. “I think you know that isn’t so.”

That was the last thing she wanted to hear from Fenja. It was true. How could she allow an ancient hunter with Benedek’s skills loose on the world? He had learned far too much about battle technique and strategy. He had also held out for centuries against all odds. She deeply admired him for that alone. According to Tora, few Carpathians would have survived intact upholding their code of honor. He was one of the few.

“I don’t want to believe I have no choice at all,” she admitted. “I am also a little concerned that he wanted you here. He didn’t give me the choice of Tora, which I think would have been much more informative.”

“I’m your mother. He knows you want me in your life. He was showing respect.”

Silke wasn’t certain Fenja’s assessment was correct. Benedek might respect her mother and even want her there for moral support, but he didn’t want Tora there. Tora was Carpathian. She had told Silke lifemates didn’t lie to one another. But could they deceive one another through omission? He was hiding something from her, something she was sure she wouldn’t like.

It was exactly one hour after sunset. She felt him before the two men materialized at their door. She was watching out the window, and the moment she saw him, her heart jumped and her pulse skyrocketed. Her mouth went dry. None of those reactions were good.

Nicu came through the door first. She hadn’t noticed him before, but now it was impossible not to see how truly good-looking he was. He had skin the color of gold, his hair long and black, his eyes a slate gray, and there was a wicked—and intriguing—scar curving from his left temple to his eye.

There is no need to find his scar intriguing.

Silke had been so tense that she was nearly holding her breath. Air exploded out of her lungs in a long rush. He was already in her head.

Get out. I mean it. We’re here for business negotiations, and you don’t get to take unfair advantage.

You have the same advantage, Benedek pointed out. You’re just not utilizing it.

She looked over Nicu’s shoulder right into Benedek’s eyes as the Carpathian ancient gave her a courteous bow. Benedek didn’t look or feel the least bit remorseful.

You have pretty friends, Benedek. I don’t fit with them.

His expression changed instantly from the mask of indifference to something dark and unreadable. Those icy fingers crept down her spine in warning. Benedek might be the most attractive man she’d ever seen, but he was also the most dangerous.

“Thank you for coming,” she murmured to Nicu politely as she stepped to one side and waved them through the door.

She didn’t belong with these people. If all the women looked like Tora with her sensual allure, and the men, despite battle scars, were truly gorgeous, she knew she would stick out like a sore thumb. In any fight, she had every confidence she would be an asset, but standing by Benedek’s side and being introduced to his friends and family, she would always be at a disadvantage. Just the fact that she was young, a mortal and plain in comparison would always make her noticeably different.

“Invite us in,” Nicu ordered. At her puzzled look he flashed a brief smile that didn’t light those gray eyes. “This is a formal meeting. We need the formality of an invitation into your home.”

He sounded businesslike. Matter-of-fact. But something was off. Her warning system suddenly shrieked at her. Her gaze jumped once again to Benedek’s face. He was back to wearing his mask, making it impossible to read him. But she knew she was missing something very important, and she hesitated.

Fenja came up behind her, giving her a little frown of reprimand. “Please do come in, Nicu and Benedek. We welcome you.”

Silke pressed her lips together, all the while watching Benedek closely. Had there been a change in his eyes just for the briefest of moments? Satisfaction? Or was that her imagination? Was this another reason to have Fenja present rather than Tora? She had no choice but to step completely out of the way to allow both men into her home. The moment they crossed the threshold, she felt the shift of energy, of power.

Tora, why would Nicu and Benedek insist on being invited into my home?

The moment she sent the query to her friend, both men spun around to face her, Nicu stepping slightly in front of Benedek as if to protect him or possibly her.

“We keep this meeting strictly between the four of us in this room,” Nicu said. “It is highly unusual and could undermine Benedek with his enemies should word of it get out.”

That left her more confused than ever. He wasn’t lying—exactly. Instinctively she knew Benedek wouldn’t care who knew of their meeting. It wouldn’t make him fight his battles with less skill. In fact, if his enemies underestimated him, he would consider that all to the good. Still, she knew they didn’t want the meeting discussed outside of the four of them for a reason other than the one Nicu gave her.

“Why isn’t Tora answering me?” She didn’t try to hide the suspicion.

“All communication is being blocked,” Nicu said. “We intend to negotiate in good faith, and we’re assuming you will be doing the same.”

That was strictly the truth. She heard it in his voice. There was no point in worrying about what the pair was up to. She had to do this, whether she wanted to or not. To her it was a matter of honor. She had her own code. Somehow the universe had decided it was her duty to save this Carpathian. She had no idea why or how it had happened, but despite the strange energy she found in him, she knew he was a good man. That made her responsible for him.

Benedek pulled the chair out at the end of the table for her. “We can do this, o jel? sielamak . Have a little faith in us.”

Light of my soul, she interpreted. She found she liked that. His voice, with that growl in his throat, was sexy. His earthy, feral scent added to the dangerous attraction she had growing for him. Then there was his height. She was tall, but he made her feel as if she were delicate when she’d never felt that way in her life. His shoulders were wide and his chest thick with muscle. It was difficult not to stare at him. He had such an edge to him. Something wild and feral that could never be replicated in another man attracted her like nothing else could have.

The touch of his knuckles as they swept down the back of her neck was featherlight but felt as if his skin sank into hers, branding her. The way he said o jel? sielamak , with that accent of his, stole her breath. She didn’t want to be so susceptible to him. That didn’t bode well for her future. She would have to guard her heart carefully if she entered into a business contract with him.

O jel? sielamak, “light of my soul.” That was clearly how he thought of her. She found that intensely romantic, and she wasn’t a romantic person.

She looked up into his eyes. A mistake. That black, black obsidian. Who had eyes like that? That color? She could fall right down into that dark abyss. Free-fall. Float through the darkness and just stay in that calm well of tranquility. He had a way of looking at her, so intense, so focused, that made her feel as if she were the only woman in the world. His world. Yet she recognized a hint of something else. He was cautious. Guarded. Shielding himself from others, including her.

He was temptation walking. The virtual definition of carnal. He wouldn’t have to look at a woman twice to persuade her to have sex with him. What was she thinking, even coming to the table to negotiate a lifetime with him? He could have any woman he wanted, his soul be damned or not. He’d never look at her twice if she wasn’t the guardian. The keeper of his soul.

“Shall we begin?” Fenja asked.

Silke couldn’t tear her gaze from Benedek’s. He didn’t look away from her, even as he took the seat opposite her. She felt like she really had leapt off that cliff into the dark abyss and was free-falling.

Without warning, Benedek reached across the small space between them and captured her hand. “Silke, you haven’t once called me by name.” The pad of his thumb slid over the back of her hand.

A million tiny sparks flashed over her skin, finding their way into her bloodstream. The rush was hot and exhilarating but scary as hell. She didn’t want those flickering flames burning through her. She couldn’t afford it, especially when they were negotiating her future.

She tried to look away from those stunning, rugged features. Up close he was terrifying, not only because she found him so attractive but because she couldn’t fail to see the predator in him.

His thumb slid over her hand again, and when she attempted to pull away, he tightened his fingers around hers. “Say it.”

It was silly to resist. It was just his name. She swallowed the large lump forming in her throat and complied. “Benedek.”

His fingers released her, and as she pulled away from him, she felt the brush of his skin sliding sensuously over hers. Nerve endings responded, going on alert, leaping to life. She jerked her hand away, threaded her fingers together and dropped them in her lap.

“We are here to arrange a marriage between Silke Vriese Reinders, a human demon slayer, and Benedek Kovak, a Carpathian ancient and hunter,” Nicu announced formally.

She nearly breathed a sigh of relief. Nicu’s declaration allowed her to break the captivating hold Benedek seemed to have on her. She was determined that she wouldn’t look at him again while they were negotiating. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to keep her wits about her, and she didn’t trust Benedek or Nicu at this point.

“Are you both in agreement that you will honor the marriage contract that we write out today?” Nicu persisted.

Fenja tapped the pen on the notebook and then reached out to pat Silke’s hands where she had them clasped together in her lap. The small gesture of encouragement shocked Silke. Her mother rarely showed her affection in front of others.

She took a deep breath and nodded her head.

“I need a verbal answer, Silke,” Nicu said.

“Yes,” she answered. Sheesh. They were being extremely formal.

“I will honor the contract,” Benedek agreed.

He had that gruff rasp, and he always spoke in a low tone. Was it damage from that cut around his throat? Her heart clenched, another strange reaction from just having a thought of that kind of harm coming to him. Who had gotten so close to him that they were able to cut his throat? Was it a woman? Was that why he was so distrustful?

“I realize you have no choice other than to claim me,” Silke said, making every effort to control her voice, to keep from showing there was a slight ache, a hurt, that she wasn’t his chosen partner. “I want Benedek to acknowledge that it is the same for me.”

She felt the weight of his focused stare. He was back to being the predator, making her feel like she was in a cage with a tiger. She tried to ignore the pull of that stare and concentrate on Nicu instead.

“I’m well aware you feel you have no choice,” Benedek said.

Something in his tone drew her eyes in spite of her determination not to look at him. He intimidated her. That was part of the reason she felt at a disadvantage. Her gaze jumped to his and she was instantly caught in the unfamiliar emotions working at the back of his eyes. Possession? Desire? What was that? His eyes were so black it was impossible to read him unless he wanted her to—and he clearly didn’t.

She shook her head, sticking her chin defiantly in the air. “Oh, no. You don’t get to play word games with me. I don’t feel as if I have no choice. You were very clear what would happen should I not accept you into my life. That’s hardly giving me a choice. And don’t think for one moment that I believe you would suicide or turn vampire.” She tilted her head to one side, studying his expressionless mask. “You would force your claim. That’s who you are.”

One eyebrow went up and the faintest of smiles moved through her mind when there wasn’t a single change to his expression.

Already you’re cheating. You aren’t supposed to be in my mind.

He didn’t look in the least bit remorseful. “You don’t know me. You cannot say what I would do.”

“I know you. You’re merciless with your enemies. Relentless when you want something.”

He leaned slightly toward her. “It is good you are aware of some of my traits. I want you, so there is not going to be any other outcome but that we are together as lifemates.”

The way he stated his interest with that raspy voice, the way his gaze went hot for the briefest of moments, sent heat rolling through her bloodstream.

“You expect me to sleep with you?” She nearly squawked the question. “Right away?”

“This marriage will be very real, so yes, that is expected. It is also expected that you remain loyal and exclusive to me.”

Now there was something very deadly in his intense stare. That look replaced the heat in her bloodstream with chills. She was looking directly at a hunter. Not just any hunter. The one Tora had described as being lethal. He obviously meant what he said.

She refused to be his prey. If she was going to live with this man, she had to stand up to him. Right now, with his friend and her mother in the room, while they were negotiating terms, was her best chance to get to know if she could live with Benedek—and if he could live with the real Silke.

It was clear that he was still in her mind when he leaned toward her, his gaze fixed on hers. “We will be lifemates, Silke, so whatever you want in our marriage, you make it known beforehand. If we can’t agree immediately, we’ll talk until we come up with a compromise. There is no compromise on this issue. I would break your neck and that of your lover if you were ever foolish enough to betray me.”

He meant every word, and he’d uttered his declaration aloud, to be heard and witnessed by the two people supposedly helping them.

She held his gaze, refusing to look away. “I would accept those terms only if they apply to you as well. Know that if you betrayed me, I would find a way to get rid of you. Without loyalty and trust, we would have nothing together as far as I’m concerned.”

His eyes still on her, Benedek indicated to Fenja and Nicu. “That is an absolute we both agree on. Write it down.”

Nicu and Fenja both put pen to paper.

“I would like children,” Benedek said. “Where do you stand on having children?”

The relief was tremendous. She had no idea how worried she’d been that he wouldn’t want a family with her. She knew he was a hunter and he’d always be one. That didn’t make for a great family man. She found herself smiling.

“I want children for sure.” A sobering thought occurred to her. “Is it possible when you’re Carpathian and I’m human?”

“The prince is married to a woman who was human,” Benedek answered. “They have children.”

At first that made her feel better, but then she went over the way he’d worded his response. A woman who was human . What did that mean? She studied his expressionless mask. He knew she got that small reference, and he was watching her intently. Expectantly. She wouldn’t want to disappoint him.

“You used the words ‘was human ’ when telling me about the prince’s woman. What does that mean? Is she deceased?” She knew the prince’s wife was alive. She didn’t know how she knew, but the knowledge was there.

“To save Raven’s life, Mikhail had to convert her when she was attacked. She rose fully Carpathian.”

“So it is possible to convert a human to Carpathian. Is it possible to do the reverse? A Carpathian to human?”

She felt the instant rejection of the idea by both ancients. Fenja must have felt it as well because she covered her mouth and coughed delicately.

“It is impossible to convert a Carpathian to human,” Benedek said, “although some males have chosen to live out their life as human, and when their mate passes, they have followed them.”

Silke should have considered the implications to him of being with a human. “You would have to suicide in the end after I die?”

He shook his head. “That would be an impossibility after being with my lifemate. I cannot chance losing you and then choosing the right path. A Carpathian male enters what is known as a thrall when he loses his lifemate. In other words, he is insane in that moment. Should I have choices and I chose the wrong path, again, hunters would have a difficult time destroying me.”

Silke moistened her lips. She was missing something very important here. “How would our marriage work with you Carpathian and me human? I would be awake during the day and you would be awake during the night.”

Her query was met with silence. Benedek’s gaze didn’t move from her face. She was already shaking her head, afraid she knew exactly what he was planning.

“If you think I’m going to become Carpathian, you have another think coming,” she declared. “That’s a deal-breaker as far as I’m concerned.” She glared at him. “An absolute deal-breaker.”

“It can’t be a deal-breaker before we even discuss it,” Benedek said reasonably. “You haven’t considered the benefits, of which there are many.”

“Nevertheless.”

Benedek shook his head. “Now you’re just being stubborn. You need to state your reasons why the idea is so objectionable to you, so we can discuss each of your concerns.”

“Sleeping under the ground. That feels too much like being buried alive. It isn’t as if I’m going to get over that because you say so.”

Sarcasm. Again, she felt the wash of humor slide into her mind. That alone could be persuasive. There was something appealing and sexy, even charming, about those brief moments of shared intimacy.

At least you recognize sarcasm when you hear it.

You aren’t nearly as afraid of me as you should be.

You have a code.

That code applies to everyone else. You and I are making the rules of our relationship right now. I think we have a good chance of making this work.

“Actually, you could get over it with me giving that command,” Benedek pointed out. “I am capable of influencing those around me.”

Fenja’s gasp was audible as she realized the importance of his disclosure.

Silke went still. Froze. The mouse staring up at the cat, recognizing the predator in him all over again. “You can persuade someone with your voice?” It came out a whisper, but the thought was terrifying.

“Yes.”

“You didn’t think to disclose this immediately?”

“No. There was no reason until now. I can command you not to fear sleeping underground and you would no longer be afraid.”

“No. Before we go any further, we write down the rule that you never command me to do anything. I want to have free will. I need that. It isn’t a marriage or partnership if you tell me what to do and I do it like a puppet.”

“I have no intentions of making you my puppet.”

“Agree that you will never command me to do anything.”

He was silent for a long time. The beating of her heart was overly loud, and she knew he could hear. She wished Nicu wasn’t there to witness her fear of Benedek. It was bad enough that he knew she was afraid of him, but to have his friend know as well was utterly humiliating.

“ O jel? sielamak , I would like to make this part of our agreement, but there might be special circumstances when I have to aid you with something. I do not want to ever break our terms for any reason.”

Her first reaction was absolute rejection, but she forced her mind to be still, to think. He didn’t have to tell her he was capable of commanding others to do his bidding. He’d volunteered the information. He also could have made a promise that he knew sooner or later he would break. He didn’t.

“You can envision a scenario when you think it would be necessary to command me against my will to do something?”

He shook his head. “Not against your will. You are my chosen partner. The two most important traits in our partnership should be trust and loyalty. You would never be able to trust me if you worried I’d betray you by commanding you to do something you were adamant you didn’t want to do.”

Silke turned his explanation over and over in her mind, unwilling to squash the deal between them, but not yet satisfied with his answer. She liked that he valued trust and loyalty. Those were two traits she put above everything. She wanted to know he would always have her back in any situation. She knew she would have his. But he was asking a lot of her. No, demanding a lot. She wasn’t going to agree to anything she felt would make her less than a full partner. Being commanded by him definitely came under that category.

“Could we come to terms by you agreeing you will only do your commanding if I have given my consent for you to do so ahead of time? That way I’m part of the decision. I’ll know what you’re doing and why.”

She thought that was very reasonable. She was avoiding the idea of becoming Carpathian. If she was truthful with herself, she would admit she had often been envious of Tora’s ability to fly. To conceal herself. To shift shapes. But there was the sleeping underground and being vulnerable, paralyzed, during daylight hours. There was using human beings for sustenance. Blood. She couldn’t imagine that. Just the thought was so daunting her stomach lurched.

Tora gave you blood on more than one occasion.

She kept forgetting he had access to her memories. I didn’t bite her neck. It was more like a transfusion when I’d lost too much blood during a battle.

His face darkened. Reminders of you going into battle with vampires aren’t a good idea while we are coming to terms with the rules for our arrangement.

She couldn’t look away from his dark eyes. He really didn’t like that she’d been wounded several times while fighting a vampire. Strangely, she was conflicted over his reaction. She didn’t want anyone, least of all the man who would be her life partner, to dictate to her where she belonged in a fight. On the other hand, it felt good that he cared enough to be angry. And he was angry.

The atmosphere in the room had changed significantly the moment she told him she’d lost blood. The energy became turbulent. A storm. The two of them clashed in midair.

Nicu sighed. “We established that the two of you were to stay out of each other’s heads. If you’re going to discuss something, you need to do so aloud. We’ll be here all night at this rate.”

Benedek raised his gaze to his friend. “If we need to be here all night and all of tomorrow night for Silke to feel comfortable, we will be.”

Her heart reacted, clenching unexpectedly. He was standing up for her, not happy with his friend for reprimanding her. Or them. But she knew he didn’t care what anyone said to or thought of him. She’d seen the lack of ego in him. He might appear arrogant on the outside, but where it counted, he didn’t need or want anyone to approve of him.

“I want you to approve,” he corrected, proving he was still in her mind. “That’s what we’re working on.”

She tried not to hug his words to herself. He almost sounded like he wanted her for her. She knew better, and she wasn’t a woman to live in a fantasy. The stark reality was, her side of the bargaining table was much steeper than his.

“The issue with blood can be resolved over time. I can aid you the way Tora has done in the past until you feel capable of taking your own sustenance.”

“You make it sound so easy. Overcoming lifetime inhibitions doesn’t quite work that way.”

“I am told exchanging blood with one’s lifemate can be quite erotic.”

Heat rushed up her neck into her face. She didn’t dare look at Fenja. The way his raspy voice and intriguing accent pronounced erotic sent little flames licking along her nerve endings.

“I think you know we can figure out both problems over time.”

“I would prefer to be independent going into the decision of becoming Carpathian. I don’t want to feel as if you have to take care of me.”

His brows drew together. “Silke, you will be my lifemate. It is my honor and duty to look after you.”

Duty. Had he stuck with honor she would have been thrilled, but he had ended his comment with the fact that she was his duty to care for. She had to reach a point where she could let go of the idea of ever being loved. Love wasn’t necessary between them. But respect and loyalty were a must for her.

“I appreciate the sentiment,” she answered carefully. “But I’ve always looked after myself.” And everyone else . She hadn’t meant to allow him to catch that. She didn’t feel sorry for herself. It was a fact. She dealt in facts.

Not anymore. You won’t be alone.

She didn’t want to look at him again. She wanted to just get their arrangement ironed out and be done with it. She knew a part of her was grieving for the secret dream, the pure fantasy of a home and family, a man who loved her alone. Who would always put her first. Benedek would never be that man. Still, she was determined to make this work.

“It just feels as if I’m the one making all the concessions. You want me to agree to become Carpathian. You want to be able to command me when you deem it necessary. I’m human. My mother is human. I’m a demon slayer. That’s a huge part of who I am. If I sleep during the day, who is protecting my people? Not you. Not your friends. There’s only me. If I join you, they are open to attack.”

“We are working the terms out,” Benedek pointed out.

This time his rasp held a note of gentleness. She really didn’t want him using that particular tone. She was far too susceptible to it.

“I agree to getting your consent before I use my voice to make a demand, unless the situation is extreme and I must make a split-second decision.”

“What would be considered extreme?” She took a drink from the glass of water Fenja had placed in front of her.

“Keeping you from a mortal wound. Life or death. If your life was in danger and I needed to ensure your survival, I reserve the right to use my voice to save you.”

How could she object to that? She swept a hand through her hair, uncaring that he would note that gesture as nerves. She was nervous. “What’s to say you wouldn’t deem any event extreme if you didn’t like what I was doing?”

“Trust,” he answered immediately. “I would like for our bond to be so tight that you know I will always have your back. Always have your best interests uppermost in mind. That you will trust me to put your happiness and welfare first. I want to trust you with those same things. I want to know, without looking, without question, that I can trust you to put me first. To put my health and welfare first. I want to know you will always have my back. To do that, I must trust you the same way you must learn to trust me.”

She liked the practicality of that. “I agree to your terms, then.”

Fenja and Nicu immediately wrote on their papers, giving Silke some satisfaction that they had managed to sort out his ability to command her.

“I wish to live close to my mother as long as she is alive.”

Benedek nodded immediately. “I would expect us to stay close to her. She’s your family, and when we become lifemates, she becomes my family and will be under not only our protection but the protection of all my people.”

Again, Fenja and Nicu wrote on their papers. Silke couldn’t help the small triumphant smile she sent her mother’s way. Negotiating wasn’t nearly as bad as she thought it would be.

“I must remain the slayer until after the battle with Lilith,” she said as firmly as she could. “The people have to be protected. I will agree to the lifemate bond as soon as the war with her is over.”

He shook his head. “The conversion will wait until after the battle, but I must claim you immediately. Having found you, I do not dare wait. Once I bind us, my soul will be intact and you’ll anchor me during every battle with the vampire and Lilith’s army. That is absolutely necessary.”

She heard the ring of truth in his voice. He hadn’t demanded that she become Carpathian immediately. That seemed like a huge concession on his part. It also made that silly part of her that still had girlhood fantasies a little sad because it wasn’t necessary to him for her to be with him immediately. She couldn’t be, but she still wanted him to want to be with her. She knew it was all about returning his soul to him.

She decided to look on the bright side. The longer she was able to put off becoming Carpathian, the better it was for her. And it was entirely possible she wouldn’t survive the coming war. Lilith was sending demons specifically targeting the slayer.

As if he were reading her mind, and he probably was, he reached out and took her hand, pulling her arm across the space between them so he could press her palm against his chest. “I will agree to these terms only if you agree to be prepared to become Carpathian in an emergency. It takes three exchanges for the conversion. I want your consent for two exchanges. That way, should you fall during a conflict with demons, I would be able to recover you.”

He had such a strange way of putting things. She took her time studying every word just in case she wouldn’t want to agree.

“Blood exchanges?”

He nodded, his gaze fixed on hers, compelling her to agree.

“I want to agree, Benedek, but the idea is rather horrifying.”

“I assure you it won’t be. You are my true lifemate. We are very compatible. As I said before, you will find the exchanges erotic, not repugnant.”

She wasn’t so certain, but she was rather shocked to find the depth of her physical attraction to him. In any case, if she was agreeing to become Carpathian at some point, there would have to be an exchange of blood.

“You can write that one down.”