Page 57 of Danger and Dominance (Black Fox Security Doms #1)

Cassidy

“Do you want to live with David?” Mistress Julie asked, tilting her head as though she could see into Cassidy’s soul through the computer screen.

“Yes. But it’s too soon.”

“By whose timeline?”

Dammit. This was why she’d decided to bring it up in therapy.

She’d wanted to talk through the possibility with a completely neutral third party.

Especially since most of her friends up here were currently completely invested in the ramifications of knowing Black Fox had an enemy, and he was gunning for them with a bigger force than expected.

She hadn’t wanted to bother her friends with her ‘should I live with David’ problem, which seemed pretty miniscule by comparison.

“I don’t know,” she admitted and waved her hand. “People. I mean, the last man I lived with was Don. Shouldn’t I be more cautious? I mean, what do you think everyone at Stronghold would think if I told them I was moving in with the first guy I’ve dated since Don.”

Mistress Julie’s eyebrow rose.

“Why would their opinion about your decisions matter?”

Cassidy’s mouth opened.

Closed.

“Well… I guess I don’t want them to judge me.”

“And that’s a good enough reason to keep you from doing what you want to do?”

No.

But she didn’t want to say it out loud. She scowled at the keyboard because she was too chicken to scowl at Mistress Julie herself.

“I thought you were going to tell me it’s too soon,” she grumbled.

“That’s because you still don’t trust yourself to make good decisions for yourself.

You’re hoping to find certainty in what other people think rather than in what you think and what you want for yourself.

But the fact that you’re willing to admit to yourself what you want, even though you’re struggling to act on it, really shows how far you’ve come.

” Mistress Julie’s tone was gentle, despite the way the words hit like blows to Cassidy’s chest.

She lifted her hand to the center, right between her breasts, and rubbed where the ache had appeared.

“Ouch. That was a direct hit.”

Mistress Julie smiled at her.

“You’re doing great, Cassidy. It’s a long, slow road.

I suggest doing some journaling about what it is you really want.

And remember, you don’t have to make a decision right away.

You also aren’t trapped in whatever decision you make; you can always change your mind.

If you move out, it sounds like David would be happy to have you move back in when you’re ready.

If you stay, he’ll understand if you change your mind in the future and realize you need more space…

and if he doesn’t understand, then he’s probably not the right man for you. ”

“He would understand,” Cassidy said immediately. She had no doubt about that. David had been nothing but supportive. He didn’t push her to make a decision, though he also didn’t hesitate to make her feel welcome or to let her know that he wanted her there.

Even though they had a tendency to go back and forth on making decisions, she trusted him not to… well, not to be anything like Don if she changed her mind.

“I think I want to stay here.” She sighed. “I just want someone to tell me it’s okay to.”

“It is okay to.” Mistress Julie chuckled. “Whatever you choose is okay.”

“Ugh, I hate that. I want there to be a right choice.” A right choice would mean she wouldn’t get trapped in a bad situation again.

Not that she thought being with David was ever going to be a bad situation.

Mistress Julie was right. She needed to start trusting herself more.

She’d made the wrong choice in the past and suffered the consequences, but that didn’t mean every choice she made would be the wrong one.

“Is there anything else going on that you want to talk about?”

“You mean other than getting my Dom shot and him wanting me to move in with him?” She giggled when Mistress Julie gave her a stern look.

They’d already had plenty of long talks about her blaming herself, but sometimes, a little dark humor made her feel better.

“It’s a little crazy. I told you about the governor’s race and Marshall Devlin and all that. ”

“Yes.” Mistress Julie made a face. “I will say, I don’t love the idea of you getting caught in the crosshairs of someone’s vendetta that has nothing to do with you.”

“So far, there’s no reason to think he’s doing anything but trying to take down the company,” Cassidy said. “He seems like a pretty awful guy, but not like, take out innocent bystanders awful.”

“Mmm.” Clearly, the therapist wasn’t convinced.

Cassidy’s stomach did a little flip. She knew all too well how someone who felt entitled could react when denied what they wanted. But she wasn’t leaving Pittsburgh, regardless. So far, there was definitely no reason to.

“Anyway, they’ve offered their services at a discount to Senator Marlin if she needs them. David’s been going into the office. I’m back being his grandmother’s companion for now. And I’m meeting his sister this weekend.” The last words came out in a rush.

“Nervous?”

“Very. I got her brother shot.” This time, she wasn’t joking around when she said it, and Mistress Julie gave her another look. “I know, I know, but what if she sees it that way?”

“Do you know if she does?”

Cassidy shook her head sheepishly.

“I might have been purposefully avoiding being around David whenever he’s on the phone with her. He hasn’t said that she blames me, but I also don’t know if he would tell me that. Or if she would tell him that she blames me.”

“Okay, she blames you. What’s the worst thing that happens?”

“David realizes she’s right and dumps me.” The pang in her chest was a lot harder than the one she’d had earlier. She didn’t want to lose David.

“Do you think he would actually do that?”

Cassidy took in a long, deep breath, and let it out slowly, the way Mistress Julie had taught her. Some of the tension in her body leaked out with the air.

“No, he wouldn’t.” David did what he wanted to do.

He’d become estranged from his parents over it.

And he didn’t blame her. The likelihood of his sister being able to convince him…

“But that could cause a rift with his sister if she blames me, then he’d lose another family member, and it would be my fault. ”

“Would it? Or would it be her fault for blaming you?”

“Well, if you’re going to make me be reasonable about it,” Cassidy muttered, huffing and making Mistress Julie laugh. She scrubbed her hands over her face. “I just want her to like me. I don’t want David to lose another family member.”

“Both of which are very reasonable desires, but they’re also not under your control. You’ll do the best you can. You are a very likeable person, Cassidy. And David likes you, which is the most important thing.”

David said he was falling for her. She was falling for him, too.

If it wasn’t too soon to move in together, did that mean it wasn’t too soon to use the word ‘love’, either?

David

Back at work and trying to grapple with the new dynamics of the team was interesting.

They were all working out together as a team-building exercise.

David couldn’t do everything, but it was a good time to work in some of his physical therapy exercises.

It also allowed him to step back and watch the shifting group dynamics now that Zeus was with them.

He was impressive, David had to admit.

The cohesion of the team could be a lot better, though. They made it through the workout and to the cooldown without any major snafus, so David had to be happy with that for now.

“What do we even call you?” Jensen asked, frowning.

“Zeus.”

The man didn’t crack a smile. He wasn’t joking; he was being serious. Jensen rolled his eyes.

“I meant as a call sign.”

Shrugging one shoulder, Zeus kept stretching.

“What about Rosemary?” Mason asked cheekily. Everyone except Zeus looked at him in confusion. “Because it’s a spice.”

And they were the Spice Doms. Different kind of spice, though.

“I’ll answer to whatever,” Zeus said indifferently.

He did not seem to be big on showing emotion.

Any emotion. David didn’t know him well enough to know if it was because he was new to the team and didn’t trust them yet, either, or if this was just how he always was.

Or if it’s because he’s a plant of Marshall’s, and he’s trying not to get close to us before he betrays us.

Except if Marshall really had sent in a plant, David would expect the man to be trying to ingratiate himself, working harder to charm everyone.

Cassidy had told him she thought he should be nicer to Zeus. It wasn’t his fault he’d joined the team right before Marshall’s big announcement. And he hadn’t been part of Marshall’s team long before that.

“Okay, Fennel,” Jensen quipped, making everyone except Zeus and Drew chuckle.

David eyed Drew, who was far more somber than normal. He’d been intense during the training exercises. No matter how many times he’d apologized, no matter how many times David had reassured him that it wasn’t his fault Don had gotten to Cassidy, it was clear Drew still blamed himself.

“Alright, everyone, good job today,” David said to wrap things up.

They had done a good job overall, even if everyone was still leery of Zeus.

Eventually, they would start to trust him, or they wouldn’t.

If he couldn’t integrate with the team, eventually, he would be fired. “Who’s going to the Outlands tonight?”

Everyone raised their hand, including Zeus, which had everyone looking at him. He shrugged.

“I’m a member, even though I haven’t been in a while.

But my new girlfriend wants to go, so.” He shrugged again, as if it didn’t really matter to him, but he was willing to indulge his girlfriend.

Which made David think a little better of him.

He’d known Zeus was a member, all of Marshall’s team had been, but none of them had been back since the firm split apart.

Everyone knew Lincoln and Gavin were friends.

“Great.” David nodded firmly, as though saying so could make it so. “We can think of it as another team-building exercise.”

“Cool.” Jensen got to his feet. “See you tonight, Cinnamon.”

“See you tonight, Baby.” Zeus’ deadpan tone made his response far funnier than if he’d hammed it up, and both Mason and Claudia snickered. Jensen scowled, but the edges of his mouth were twitching. Even Drew managed to crack a smile.

David had a feeling they’d be trying out different spice names on Zeus until one of them stuck. Thankfully, it seemed like he could take it. That one little response had done more to solidify his position with the team than any of the training exercises they’d done together.

His shoulder ached, but only a little, and he rubbed it as he put his things away.

“How’s PT going?” Drew had come up so quietly, David hadn’t even heard him. It was amazing how sneaky Sporty could be when he wanted to.

“It’s good. Not my favorite thing, but necessary.

And it helps, obviously. The sooner I can get back to normal, the better, so Cassidy doesn’t have the constant reminder…

Every time she looks at my shoulder, I can see the guilt on her face.

” The same guilt he saw on Drew’s face every time Drew looked at him or Cassidy.

“It wasn’t her fault,” Drew said immediately, sounding almost indignant.

No, of course not, because Drew wanted to take all the blame. David wasn’t having that.

“No, it wasn’t anyone’s fault except Don’s.

Or maybe that asshole in the hallway who watched Don drag Cassidy away and did nothing.

Though, even if he had tried to intervene, he might have gotten shot, and maybe Don would have had better aim.

So, everything worked out the way it was supposed to.

” David finished tucking his gear into his bag and straightened up, hefting the strap over his right shoulder.

Silently watching him, Drew appeared to be thinking about what he said.

“I just keep thinking I missed things. The flat tire. The tailgating. Then letting Cassidy go to the bathroom by herself.” He scrubbed his hand over his face, his overwhelming guilt clear as day. It had its talons in deep.

“She wasn’t by herself; she was with Jennifer and Yasmine.”

“Neither of who could protect her if Don had come up to all three of them.”

“Don’t let either of them hear you say that.” Jennifer might not train with the team, but she was a black belt at the all-woman karate studio she’d been attending for years, and Yasmine had started Brazilian jujitsu a few years ago. David would bet on either of them over Don in a fair fight.

“He had a gun.”

“Which we couldn’t have known, just like we couldn’t have known he was there.

He shouldn’t have been. It had to have been pure luck.

” They still hadn’t figured out how Don knew where she was.

The only thing that made sense was that he hadn’t known, he’d just somehow come across them or been in the same place by chance.

Not knowing got under David’s skin a little, but he’d long ago accepted that sometimes there were things that were never explained or that he didn’t get to know the answer to. That was just life.

The important thing was that Don was never going to bother Cassidy again.

Drew blew out a long breath. “I’m not going to let you down again,” he said heavily.

“You didn’t let me down this time,” David told him, and Drew nodded, but David could tell he didn’t really mean it.

Hopefully, over time, he would start to believe it. Until then, David would drop a word in Mason’s ear to make sure to talk to Drew about it.