Page 145 of Dance of Thorns

The air leaves my body with a whoosh as his words slam into me like a fist to the stomach.

But I deserve it, and so much worse.

“But when you love something,” he continues, “you love it for all that it is. You don’t love itdespiteits flaws. You love itbecause ofthose flaws.” He yanks the cigarette from my fingers and brings it viciously to his mouth. “I think that’s partly why I trapped you in this marriage once I realized who you were. To keep you caged with me.”

My heart wrenches as he takes a deep breath, then turns to let his eyes nail me to the fucking floor.

“AndI was fucking angry,” he growls. “So fucking angry. Angry with myself for pushing you away in my grief and pain and not realizing what had happened. Angry with you…” He closes his eyes, squeezing them shut. “For all of it, and the way you spiraled so hard at the end. So yeah, part of all of this was thatI wanted to punish you.”

He shoves the cigarette back my way.

“But I was also angry for all the shit you’d done to yourself. The self-harm. The drugs. Being on that roof looking to kill yourself. All the fuckingmenthat came after I shoved you out of my life?—”

“I lied.”

The words pop out of my mouth in a jumbled rush.

“There… There weren’t dozens,” I mumble.

I take one last drag of the cigarette, my throat on fire after sharingthreeof these fucking things with him. I drop it into the mug and twist my body toward him.

“Not dozens,” I say quietly. I reach for his hand, tangling my fingers with his. “Notadozen. Not even half a dozen?— ”

“Lark—”

“Or five, or four, or three?—”

“Baby—“

“There was never anyone after you,” I choke. I swivel on my knees to face him fully and take both his hands in mine, holding them tight as my body is wracked by a sudden shudder. “Even though I didn’tknowthere was a you.”

Bane’s face is hard, his eyes sparking with dark fire as he turns to face me.

“There was no one after you for me, either,” he says quietly.

My heart twists, a choke ripping from my throat as I clench his hands tighter.

“And I lied, too,” he growls, his eyes locked with mine as he leans into me.

I lean in as well, until my forehead touches his. My breath is shaky and haggard, my pulse skipping in a staccato thud.

“About?”

Bane closes his eyes, inhaling deeply like he’s trying to breathe me into his very lungs.

“I never actually did hate you,” he breathes. His eyes open to lock with mine as his hands cup my face. “I’m incapable of anything but loving you. That’s my flaw.”

A tear trickles down my cheek and over his fingers. I tremble, breathing in his scent and trying to press my forehead to his tightly enough that we absorb each other.

“I’ve got so many flaws,” I whisper. “I don’t know why you would love?—”

“Because to me, you’reperfect,” he growls. “Because your only flaw was loving me back.”

I don’t know who technically kisses the other. All I know is, when our lips crush together, and when the sob of agony, love, and rebirth wrenches from my throat?

I’m home.

I know who I am.