Page 56 of Damned and Broken Gods (Labyrinth of Gods #2)

Fire And Shadow

LEELA

M y fiery reflection wore no crown, but she had a huge fuck-off flame sword, and she attacked with a vengeance. I dodged and ducked, reaching for my axes to deflect and parry.

My body moved on autopilot to fend her off, but the more I defended, the stronger she got, hitting me harder, faster. Her fire rose to cover her whole body until she was walking flame and rage.

My eyes burned. Heat singed my skin before seeping into me.

Fuck, she was too strong.

You can do this, Leela.

But I was weakening, melting when faced with her fire.

“You fool!” she screamed. “They will never accept us. Never understand what burns inside us.”

She swung at me, and I caught her blade with my crossed axes, arms aching with the effort to hold her there.

“They’ll never accept us if we burn, and they’ll call us weak if we dim. We can’t win. We can’t!”

She kicked out, knocking my knee so that I buckled. The next moment, the hilt of her blade slammed into my temple.

Leela!

The blow might have landed on my temple, but it vibrated in my chest. Too loud.

“Be quiet,” she screamed. “Watch and listen.”

Another blow to my chest sent me toppling onto my back. “Oh gods, I loved him,” she cried. “Burned for him, but he never stayed. He never fucking stayed.”

My axe hilts vanished from my hands.

Bands of heat wrapped around my throat, and my eyes snapped open to my fiery face above me.

“We must extinguish. It is the only way.”

She squeezed.

Leela, fight. You have to fight, dammit!

My pulse fought to thrive, beating against the hot bands around my throat. And with each throb came a revelation.

Pain.

Longing.

Sorrow.

She was hurting.

Burning to be loved for who she was. Burning to be seen and accepted for her core self. She’d been rejected too many times. Learned to hide her flame, to dim it to fit in, and now she was enraged. She wanted the pain of containment to be over.

Leela, dammit, fight her off.

No…this wasn’t about fighting…I reached up and cupped her face, my palms slipping through flame to find purchase. She didn’t burn me, but my palms did heat.

Her eyes widened slightly. “What? What are you doing?”

“It’s all right.” I smiled up at her. “You don’t have to choose anymore. You don’t have to hide. You can burn or you can dim. You can do whichever one you like, as long as you’re true to yourself.”

The fire dimmed, and her face, my face, softened with wonder.

“You don’t fear me?” she asked.

“No…” My eyes stung with the threat of tears. “I love you, just the way you are.”

And in that moment, it was true. I did. I loved me—the broken sharp edges, the fire, the softness, and yes, even the doubt. I loved me. All of me.

“Thank you…” She shattered into embers that dissolved as they fell.

You did it! Leela, you did it.

I did. I’d done it.

The echo of a voice filled the room. “The Burning One rests.”

I stood slowly, searching for my axes to find them already back in their holster at my waist.

There was one mirror left. I walked over to stand before it. “Show yourself.”

My reflection appeared as formless mist and shadow, eye whites gleaming like pearl. I knew instinctively what part of me this was.

The part that I’d taught to be silent.

I placed my hand on the glass, my throat pinching. “I see you. I fucking see you. There’s no need to hide.”

The mist thickened, coalescing into a proper form.

Into me.

I lifted a hand, and the reflection lifted hers.

It’s you, Leela, Araz said, his tone thick with emotion . You did it. You tamed all the mirrors.

My reflection faded, and the glass went dark.

“The Silent One rests,” the voice said. “You may pass.”

It’s a door. We can walk through it now.

“You’ll stay with me?”

Always.

I reached for the frame to brace myself, then stepped through.

A river blocked my path, the bank stretching out on either side of me as far as the eye could see. Fog lay heavy on the water, making it impossible to see the other side.

There’s a boat, Araz said. To the left.

I spotted it and hurried over. It was a rowboat, large enough to carry two people. But there were no oars.

“How do I get it across without oars?”

I have a feeling it will make its own way across.

“Good point.” I was about to climb in when I spotted a plaque bolted to the side of the boat. I leaned in to read it. Strange symbols greeted me, but as I stared, they shifted and rearranged themselves into words.

To find yourself you must first lose yourself.

“What does that mean?”

I’m not sure, Araz said . But we must continue.

“Where are you anyway? I need to find you and free you.”

I don’t know. I can’t see. I’m surrounded by glass and…

“And what?”

Nothing. Let’s continue.

There was something he wasn’t telling me, but I trusted him enough to know he’d share it when the time was right. I climbed into the boat, and as soon as I sat, it began to move across the water.

Fog closed in around me, leaving wet kisses on my skin. Visibility was low, barely a few feet around the boat, where the dark water lapped at the hull.

“I don’t like this.”

I’m with you. I’ve got you.

“Yeah? What if something climbs out of the water and tries to eat me? Or grabs me and tries to pull me in?”

He chuckled softly. I doubt this trial is about fighting a river beast.

“There are river beasts?”

Another warm chuckle filled my mind, easing the tension in my body. He could do that so easily, with a touch or a word. Even now, when I was drifting across a weird river, through dodgy mist.

We continued to bob across the water, and a strange fuzzy feeling bloomed at the back of my mind. I rubbed my nape, hoping to ease it.

How much longer before we reached the other side?

Your Nani would be proud of you, Leela.

Nani? “Who?”

Silence greeted my question. Your Nani. Your grandmother?

What was he talking about? “I…I have a grandmother?”

Leela, what do you remember about the mortal world? His tone was sharp and demanding, teasing panic to life in my chest, and the fact that his question made no sense to me made it worse.

“What’s the mortal world?”

The boat moved a little faster, and when Araz spoke next, there was blatant urgency in his tone. Leela, listen to me. The river is taking your memories. You’re forgetting your past.

My chest flooded with heat. “What do I do?”

You have to hold on. Take one memory and anchor it deep. Something that will bring you back. Something that changed you in some way.

My mind went back to the kiss on the night of the ball. The connection of surrender that led to consummation because the moment our lips had touched, I’d known with absolute certainty that we were going to become one, and that there would never be anyone else for me. That moment had changed me.

Leela, hold it. Don’t forget it, don’t…

Images flickered through my mind—memories of the journey to this world, of my friends, of Blue, of Pashim, the trials and?—

The boat swayed, and I sat up straight, blinking back tears.

What…I reached up to touch my cheek, fingers coming away wet. Why was I crying?

The boat stopped with a bump, and the fog parted to reveal the shore.

I spotted a campfire in the distance. Four figures sat around it, but they rose slowly at the sight of me.

“Hey!” A young woman came jogging over. “Another arrival. Maybe you can shed some light on where we are?” She smiled, but it was an awkward, nervous smile. “Do you know your name?”

That was a stupid question. Of course I knew my name. “I’m…” I stared at her blankly as a balloon of panic expanded in my chest. What was my name? “I…I can’t remember.”

She sighed. “It’s all right. Neither can we.” She held out her hand. “I’m Number One, because I got here first, and you…You’re Number Five.”