Page 44 of Damned and Broken Gods (Labyrinth of Gods #2)

If I Lose You Now…

LEELA

“ L eela?”

I sat up sharply, my eyes blurring before they could focus. “I’m awake.”

“You need to eat.” Keyton placed a plate on the bedside table. “Please.”

My gaze went to Araz. Still unconscious. Still healing. Still alive.

I shifted in the armchair, my home for the past two days as I watched over him.

The revenant that had attacked him was a rare one, and its nares carried a venom that his system was working hard to detox.

If he didn’t wake soon, it meant he might never wake, and I couldn’t… I just couldn’t deal with that.

“Leela…” Keyton tapped my shoulder. “Food.”

I looked up at him, into a face etched in lines of pain, and my eyes brimmed. “Keyton…”

His lip trembled, and he turned away, taking several breaths to compose himself. “Please eat,” he said hoarsely.

He’d been my silent companion for the last two days.

Checking in frequently with tea and snacks, plates that he’d taken away because my stomach revolted at the sight of food.

I was about to decline, but then I glanced up at him, at the dark smudges beneath his eyes and the pallor of his skin.

When was the last time he ate? Oh god, I was such a selfish bitch.

I’d lost my friend, but he’d lost his bond mate. Grief was a self-centered bitch indeed.

I smiled up at him. “I’ll eat but only if you eat with me.”

His throat bobbed. “Very well.”

He pulled up the dresser chair and sat next to me by the bed.

He’d made sandwiches. I took one, not caring what was inside, then waited for him to take one too. I took a bite and so did he. We chewed. We swallowed.

Eating sucked.

But we did it. Together.

And after the first few bites, my body remembered that sustenance was key, and I devoured my portion.

“How’s Dharma?”

Keyton shook his head. “Grieving deeply. Chaya is taking care of her.”

I recalled the look on Dharma’s face when Keyton told her about Priti’s sacrifice, the blank look that had morphed to horror and then the low keening cry that had shattered my soul.

“She never got an anchor,” Keyton said softly. “We talked about it a lot, wondering why, and now…”

“No. If the powers that wove the anchors knew she’d be in danger, surely they would have?—”

“I think they knew. And I think Priti’s purpose was never meant to be on this plane.”

“What do you mean?”

He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I have no idea. I just have a feeling. As if…she’s not truly gone…As if I’ll round a corner and she’ll be there, waiting.”

Silence wrapped around us for several beats. Araz sighed softly, and I sat forward, alert and ready for him to open his eyes. To wake up and see me. To smile. But he remained silent and still, his breath evening out to the state of deep unconsciousness.

“He’s strong,” Keyton said. “He’ll survive this.”

I swallowed the lump rising in my throat. “Yeah, I have faith.”

“And when he does, you will have two drohi to watch over you.”

My gaze flew to his. “Keyton, you don’t have to?—”

“Yes. I do.” He swallowed hard. “Priti loved you, but she didn’t die to save you out of love; she did it for the greater good.

She had this…sense…” He smiled softly. “This otherworldly ability of seeing things that hadn’t yet come to pass.

And she believed you would do great things to rectify the balance of power in this world.

She made me promise that if anything were to happen to her, I’d watch over you. ”

Fresh tears burned my eyes as a new wave of grief washed over me. I was an endless sea of tears, an endless well of grief, and Priti’s last moments were seared into my brain, playing repeatedly.

“Remember her as she was,” Keyton said. “Smiling. Happy. Glowing.” His voice cracked. “This life is not the end. We will see her again.” He smiled through his tears.

“How can you…How can you be so fucking brave?”

He let out a broken laugh. “This isn’t bravery, Leela. This is a lifeline. You are my lifeline now. For Priti. For my vow.”

I reached out and took his hand in mine. “Priti gave her life because she believed in me, and I swear to you now, I will not let her sacrifice be in vain.”

His face crumpled, and a raw sob broke from his throat. I pulled him into a hug, holding him as he fractured and allowing myself to fracture with him.

There was a knock on the door later that night. Dharma stood on the doorstep with Chaya close behind her carrying bedding.

“Hey,” Dharma said. “You mind if we sleep in here with you tonight?”

I shook my head and stepped back to let them in.

They were setting up the bedding when another knock sounded.

Joe stood outside. “Hey, I wanted to check—” His gaze traveled past me to where Dharma and Chaya were making a nest of cushions.

His throat bobbed. “Sleepover, eh?”

“You want to join?”

He blinked in surprise then nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I’d like that. I’ll go get my things.”

Keyton showed up a few minutes later with hot chocolate, and of course I invited him to stay too.

By the end of the hour, we’d made camp. A memorial for Priti and a vigil for Araz.

“Should we invite Vick?” Joe asked tentatively.

“No,” Dharma and Keyton said at the same time.

I exhaled. “It’s not his fault…what happened…”

Keyton’s jaw clenched. “He didn’t tell anyone he couldn’t swim, which forced you to have to go into the water. He almost drowned you, which forced Priti to go into the water. She died.”

I wanted to argue, but I didn’t have the energy.

Being able to swim was a requirement. Bhartina had been clear about that.

He hadn’t disclosed his inability. And now I thought about it, I couldn’t help but wonder if something similar had happened with Gia.

And if so…Why hadn’t he spent the months since the incident learning?

“He could have taught himself to swim,” Dharma said echoing my thoughts. “Or asked someone to help him. But he didn’t. He didn’t, and now Priti is dead.”

“I could forgive him,” Keyton said. “If he had been to see me even once. To offer his condolences. Instead, he regaled the villagers about the epic battle with the sea serpents.”

My head whipped up. “What?”

“He plays the hero,” Chaya said.

“He’s a fucking snake,” Dharma said softly.

How could I have been so wrong about him? How did I not see? He hadn’t been to see me either. Not once. “Fuck him!”

Dharma’s lips curled in a brittle smile. “Yeah, fuck the turd.”

“We have each other,” Joe said. “That won’t change, and we’re going to ascend. All of us. And we’re going to fix this world and teach them the meaning of equal rights and freedom. I don’t want Mahira to be with me because she has to. There must be a way to give the drohi a choice.”

I was tempted then to tell them. To share what I knew, but something stopped me—an inner voice that whispered it wasn’t time yet.

Joe looked at me. “We have a queen in our midst, after all.”

I nodded. “Yes. Yes, you do. And I won’t let you down.”