Page 21 of Daddy’s Firm Hands (Saddle Up)

His presence and touch are overwhelming for me. I should have stayed with Lucky or found another ride back to Ironhide. Sitting next to Stone in his truck like we’re a regular couple on our way to dinner or the ice cream parlor just drives the knife deeper into my heart.

Because we aren’t that couple. My past and his obsession will never let us be that couple. And he doesn’t want me anyway...

We pull out of the parking lot, the gravel crunching beneath the tires the only sound until we get on the main road.

“I’m serious, you only have until the car parks in front of the bunkhouse. Then I’m doing exactly what you said to do—leaving.”

Waiting until morning is out of the question. Hopefully Doc or Lucky can take me to the train station. My heart is shattering all over again, and I can’t be around him anymore.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he says in a distraught voice. He takes his hat off and places it in the back seat, then rakes his hand through his thick hair.

“Your meaning seemed clear enough to me. You told me, ‘If you think it’s best’. I can’t tell you the truth for your own safety, and you said you can’t be with someone who keeps secrets. So I have no choice but to go.”

“Milo, please don’t go. I thought giving you an ultimatum would make you open up.

I just want to protect you. It’s not safe for you off the ranch.

You got yourself involved in some really fucked up shit with some bad people.

I’ll be damned if I let you slip away into the night where those bastards can get you. ”

“Those bastards?” I ask.

“I have an old army buddy, his name is Sunny. The day you arrived at Ironhide, I asked him to do some preliminary research on you, but he couldn’t because you gave me a fake name. I gave him more information, and he found out your car was stolen and you’re involved with the mafia…”

The way he says ‘the mafia’ cracks me up. Like it’s the boogie man who hides under our bed.

“Put the pieces together, cowboy. I ran away from home riddled with bruises and cuts and lied to you about having a phone. The car you found me with was stolen. I shot a snake dead in the eye, and got away from an attacker who tried to corner me at a rodeo.”

His face scrunches as he tries to make sense of everything.

I can see the wheels turning in his mind, and it’s killing me not to know what he’s thinking.

Will he reject me a second time when he knows who I really am?

I decide to put him out of his misery, before I get any sort of hope that we can be together.

“My real name is Milo Angelo Francis Romano, and I was an enforcer for Nueva Notte , the largest faction of the Italian mafia on the east coast. A drug deal went sideways, and I made the wrong call that got my older brother killed. It’s my fault he’s dead.

My boss, Rocco Vettore, was furious with me…

he would have killed me if I stayed. Don’t you see, Stone?

I’m one of the bad guys. I’m just as bad as the bastards you’re trying to save me from. ”

Stone stares at me for a few moments, his mouth slightly ajar. In the short time I’ve known him, I’ve never seen him so off kilter. The man is the human embodiment of control.

“Piero Romano is your brother…” Stone says in a measured tone, as if he’s having a lightbulb moment.

“Yeah. Your army buddy gave you the right information,” I barb him, still sour about his lack of trust in me.

“His name wasn’t included in Sunny’s file. When you took my phone at the rest stop, you forgot to close out the web browser, and I came across the Google search. I thought he may have been the guy who gave you that beat down.”

I laugh. Piero has beaten me up plenty of times over the years, but nothing near that level of damage.

“Yeah he wishes he could hit that hard. The gang who stole the drugs hit us with a car while Piero and I were at a red light, then they beat the piss out of us. He bled out from a gunshot wound.”

The silence stretches much longer than I’m comfortable with. Not knowing what he’s thinking drives me insane. All I see is his profile as he drives through the night, his face deep in thought.

“Now that you know everything, we can part on even footing. I’m sorry for ruining Saddle Up.

Thank you for the job and a place to stay and…

everything.” I can’t even bring myself to mention what everything actually means.

Because Stone means everything to me. “I won’t cause any more trouble for you. ”

Stone abruptly breaks, the force of the sudden stop throwing my body forward. His arm bands in front of me just in time to save me from bashing my head into the dash.

“Who gives a fuck about the rodeo!” he shouts. “Don’t you see, city boy? I don’t care if I’m a twisted, possessive cowboy with a sick obsession with you. I don’t care where you came from, or who you used to be before you met me. I’m never letting you go. You’re mine, Milo.”

Stone grabs my hand again, squeezing it hard as he kisses the back.

“You don’t care that I’ve murdered people?”

“No,” he says with surety.

“Or that I’ve tortured people?”

He shakes his head again. “No.”

“I helped build a criminal empire that makes millions of dollars a year. I’ve done unspeakable things…”

He rubs the back of my hand with his thumb, and the gesture makes me tear up.

“You did what you needed to do. But now you don’t have to do those things anymore.”

It’s just my luck the man of my dreams finally knows what a monster I am, and he wants me anyway. Right before I die.

“It doesn’t really matter, Stone. Rocco found me. It’s only a matter of time before they make the connection and find Ironhide. It’s better for everyone if I leave.” It’s just my fucking luck that I finally find my person, but I can’t have him.

“The fuck you will. Let them find you. I’ll show them how we protect what’s ours out here. When we get to the bunkhouse, get your shit and move it into my room. I’ll chain you to the bed if you try to sneak off into the night like some kind of self-sacrificing hero.”

“So you’re gonna fight for me, cowboy?” I ask him.

“Milo, I’d burn the entire world for you, ranch and all.”