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Chapter twenty-nine

A Nightmare Decision

Josh

“It’s time, Nati .”

Lightning flashes outside of the window, turning the dark night bright as day. As my eyes adjust to the dazzling light, thunder booms throughout the village. It rattles the walls of the one-room home and leaves a ringing in my ears.

“Time for what, Nani ?”

Grandmother stands beside me at the window, gazing out at the coming storm. “You have a choice to make, my sweet one.”

What choice? I’ve already made my decision. She was there at my graduation when I announced it to the world! I’m going to study Cosmology. Sure, not right away—I may have to wait a semester or two more before I can start Dr. Yoshida’s program. That’s OK, I can do it. I can and I will.

“I’ve chosen my path, Grandmother.”

Her thin, wrinkled hand grasps mine, its grip strong and unrelenting. “Sometimes the first step on a path is the hardest… and sometimes it’s not. Be brave, Child of Fire. Don’t lose hope. Your deeds become your destiny.”

What is she worried about? My life is going better than I could’ve planned. I’ve got an amazing boyfriend, an ever-expanding group of friends, and a bright future in space research. What more could I want? Does Nani know something I don’t?

I open my mouth to ask her when lightning rips the sky in half. A massive bolt streaks through the air. I hold my breath as it races toward me. No time to run. Nowhere to hide.

There’s nothing I can do but face it.

One second later…

I gasp for breath as I spring upright, the bedsheets tangled around my legs. Bright sunlight shines through the windows of my campus apartment, the same as it does every morning at Spartacus University. I try to calm my pounding heart. Everything’s fine. It was just another crazy dream, probably brought on by stress. God knows that’s never in short supply.

My phone buzzes on the nightstand, and I fumble to identify the caller. Crap. Is it that time already?

“Good morning, Mother. Or evening, for you.” I rub a hand across my eyes as I struggle to wake up. “Did I oversleep?”

“No, Junoon, but this simply could not wait.” She peers at me intently through the screen. “Are Karma and his family available Friday night?”

Adrenaline surges through my overworked nerves. “For what?”

“For the Wagdaan ceremony, of course.” She glances down at the list in her hand and adds another note to it. “We must perform the engagement ritual as soon as possible if you are to be married during Diwali.”

How many times do I have to say it? “Mother, as crazy as I am about Karma, there’s no way that we’re getting married in November. We’ve only been dating for a couple of months! Besides, Diwali happens right in the middle of the fall semester. We’ll both be busy with our studies. We can’t drop everything to fly to India—not then, and especially not by Friday.”

“That much is obvious, “ Father says as he strides into the room. He removes his lab coat before taking a seat next to my mother. “The engagement party will have to be virtual. It’s not ideal, but it’s the best we can do on such short notice.”

“Siddharth has arranged a satellite link from Rusirani village,” Mother explains. “Your grandmother will perform the ceremony, as well as the Lagna Patrika. She wants to teach Saraswati how to choose an auspicious wedding date.”

Holy shit—I mean, crap . This is getting out of hand. I’ve got to talk sense into my parents somehow. “Same-sex marriage is illegal in India, remember? Karma and I can’t get married in Jaipur, even if we wanted to.”

My father frowns. “You’ve got a point. Still, your grandmother insists—“

My mother absently cuts him off. “You know, planning the rituals for a same-sex couple is more complicated than I’d realized. Should your father ask Karma’s father for permission for you to wed, or should it be the other way around? And one of you must wear the bridal necklace, or how will we perform the Minnukettu ritual of ‘tying the knot’ into it?”

This isn’t working. I don’t understand—my parents are usually so logical. As scientists, they analyze data bit by bit before drawing a rational conclusion. They aren’t guided by their emotions, much less visions of the future. “Mother, Father— please listen to me. I can guarantee you with absolute certainty that Karma and I are not getting married! ”

“Are you sure, Junoon?” Father darts a look at my mother. She holds his glance, a silent conversation passing between them. When they turn back to me, my father sighs. “There’s something you should know.”

“But first we need to ask you a question,” Mother says. “Have you had any strange dreams during the past few months? Anything resembling a sign or a warning?”

My heart stops mid-beat. As Nani ‘s voice echoes in my head, a shiver races down my spine. “ Someday, you will marry a prince… Diwali is a most auspicious sign… Change is coming. You’ve got a choice to make. Be brave, Child of Fire…”

“I’ve got to go.” I jump to my feet.

“Wait!” my mother cries out. “I have a whole list of wedding tasks to go over. We’re running out of time.”

I grab some clothes from my dresser, then search under the bed for my shoes. “I’ve got an appointment with my student advisor, but I’m meeting Karma for coffee first. I’ll ask him if he’s free Friday evening.”

“Fine,” she grumbles. “While you’re at it, please find out his size. I must shop for your wedding sherwanis.”

“Yes, Mother,” I promise. Anything to get her off the phone. I need some space to figure this out.

Father rises from his chair. “Remember to act smart today, Junoon. Any choice that you make may affect your entire future.”

I drop the phone and run.

“I’m sorry, Josh, but those are the rules,” Mrs. Myoko says. “For your student visa to remain valid, you must be enrolled in an academic program.”

“But I am enrolled,“ I tell her again. “In the Aerospace Engineering master’s program.”

She shakes her head. “In your graduation speech, you said that you were going to study Cosmology.”

Karma grasps my hand, threading our fingers together. “You’ve applied to Dr. Yoshida’s program, right? With your brains, you’ll get in for sure, once a spot opens up.”

Thank god my boyfriend came with me to talk to my student advisor. I’m so stressed out that I can’t think straight. I don’t know whether to throw up or to run away screaming—not that either of those things will help. “Dr. Yoshida said that there probably won’t be an opening for me until the spring semester, or maybe next fall at the latest. In the meantime, I’ll continue with my original course of study. I don’t see what the problem is.”

The counselor picks up her phone and types something into the keyboard. She hands it to me, then points to the screen. “Do you see how many people have watched this video of your graduation speech?”

I stare blankly at her YouTube feed. “Um, why are you showing me this?”

Karma gapes at the handheld device. “Holy shit! Does that say two million views?”

“Language, please,” Mrs. Myoko murmurs. “But you are correct—over two million people have seen this year’s commencement address, and that’s not counting the views on Instagram or TikTok. With the popularity of the Golden Gladiators football team, the videos went viral.”

“Whoa.” Karma blinks at the screen, then looks at me. “You’re instafamous, Moonbeam.”

I still don’t see what the problem is. Who cares if my speech went viral on social media? “I don’t understand why that would affect my visa or my schedule of classes this fall. I’m sorry if it broke one of the university’s rules, but I didn’t post it on YouTube.”

The student advisor sets down her phone and folds her hands on the desk between us. “That isn’t the issue. To stay in the United States under an F1 visa, you must be enrolled in a course of study.”

I open my mouth to protest again, but she lifts a hand to ward me off.

“The law specifically states that you must be pursuing a degree, not simply taking classes. You can’t just bide your time in the AE program until an opening in Cosmology comes up. With all of the attention your graduation speech has garnered, everyone will know if we try to skirt the system. That’s not something Spartacus University can afford.”

“So what should we do?” Karma asks.

Mrs. Myoko gives us each an encouraging smile, though her words are directed at me. “You can begin your Aerospace Engineering coursework in the fall as originally intended. But if you do, I must warn you—you must finish that program in its entirety before you start another. It’s vital, to your reputation and to ours, that we follow the law precisely.”

“But I told everyone at graduation that my deepest desire is to study Cosmology,” I remind her. “I told them it’s my destiny . Everyone will think that I’ve changed my mind if I spend two more years in Aerospace Engineering. I’ll look like a complete idiot! How is that going to help my reputation?”

“There’s another option,” the counselor says. “Wait for an opening in the Cosmology program and return to Spartacus then.”

“Wait, what?” Karma jerks his head around. “What do you mean return ?”

This is a nightmare. It’s hard enough to handle the news without facing it in front of my boyfriend. “I can’t stay in America unless I’m a student,” I tell him. “If I’m not, then I have to leave.”

“Only for a semester or two.” My advisor tries to soften the blow.

It might as well be an eternity.

“But my MBA program ends next May.” Karma looks like he just got punched in the gut. “Are you saying that, if you leave, you might not be back before then?”

“I could be back by January.” I bite my lip to keep it from trembling.

As we gaze at each other, the truth sets in. January is six months from now. Six months, and we’ve only been dating for two. What’s the chance that a brand-new relationship can survive long distance for that length of time? And that’s the best-case scenario—I might not make it back to Spartacus before Karma graduates and returns to California. If I leave, we might never see each other again.

“You have two weeks to think it over,” Mrs. Myoko says in a gentle voice. “Whether it’s Aerospace Engineering now or Cosmology later, I’m sure that your decision will be the right one.”

My heart shatters. How am I supposed to choose between my boyfriend and my dream?

“No,” Karma whispers, shaking his head as he faces me. “The summer just started, Moonbeam. We just started. You can’t leave now. Not yet.”

“I may not have a choice,” I tell him.

But that’s a lie. I do have a choice.

And I’ve only got two weeks to make it.