Page 17

Chapter sixteen

Deepest Desires

Karma

Knock-knock. I stick my head into Patterson’s office. “How’s it going, Professor P?”

My mentor glances up from his work, a line creasing his forehead. “Karma? What are you doing here?”

I’m hiding from my roommate, that’s what. Evie’s gonna take one look at my face and know that I’m keeping something from her. My Fairy Godmother has magical powers when it comes to sniffing out my secrets, and when she finds out what I did to Josh—on our second date!—there’s no telling what she’ll say. The next time we play Crime or Time , she might sentence me to a year of celibacy.

I wouldn’t blame her. The only thing I had to do during my date with Josh was to keep my hands to myself. Talk about an epic fail. After a wild night like that, how can I go back to giving him flowers and chocolate?

“I brought back the book you gave me,” I tell Patterson as I hunt for it in my messenger bag. Digging the novel out of the front pouch, I hand it to the professor. “ The Ceranian Secret was even better on the second reading. Domingo sure knows his way around a plot twist.”

Patterson grunts, tossing the book onto a shelf behind him. He mutters to himself as he shuffles through some paperbacks on the floor by his desk. When he finds the one he’s looking for, he hands it to me without a word.

“ The Cerathyst Cipher ?“ I read the title out loud. Patterson sure is a fan of Domingo’s work. “Thanks, sir. But I’ve already read the second book in the trilogy.” It was even more gripping than the first.

“Read it again,” he mumbles. Turning back to the stack of papers on his desk, he glances up at me with a frown. “Do you need anything else, Mr. Wilson?”

I shake my head and say goodbye. So much for hiding out in my mentor’s office. Now what am I gonna do? I’ve already finished my shift at WLL, and I’m done with my classes for today. There’s over an hour to go before I meet with Josh for our next speech-writing session. It’s enough time to kick back in my apartment… if I wasn’t hiding from my bestie.

As I wander out onto the Quad, I take a deep breath of fresh air and lift my face up toward the sun. Maybe I should meditate—that might clear my head. I need to gain some perspective while I decide what to do about Josh. How can I move on to Step Three when I’ve already botched Step Two? If I want my dream guy to commit to dating me—and only me—I’ve gotta show him that I’m interested in more than just sex.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. When I see my father’s name on the screen, I let out a sigh of relief. He’s probably the best person on the planet to help me think through a problem like this. Swiping up with my thumb, I accept the video call. “Hey, Freedom. How’s it going?”

The philosopher-turned-farmer grins at me from our family room sofa. His feet are kicked up on our old wooden coffee table, a laptop balanced on his knees. “Just keepin’ it real, Karma.” He exhales a cloud of smoke before snuffing out his blunt.

My sister, Em, leans into the screen. “Hey, Bro! I thought up another name for our business—Café Smoke-a-Latte. Y’know, like Mocha Latte? What do you think? It’s good, right?” Ever since we came up with the idea to open a coffee-cannabis shop, she’s been coming up with new names for the joint venture.

“I still like Wilsons’ Wake and Bakery better.” My brother, Hank, joins the conversation, looking at me over our father’s shoulder.

“I’ve got another year to go on my MBA,” I remind my siblings. “That’s plenty of time to come up with a name. Have you been working on any new recipes, Em?”

A voice calls from off-camera, “Dude! You gotta try her new vegan cheesecake truffles!”

“Hey, Dubya! How are ya?” I call to my seventeen-year old brother.

A tall teen with short dreads steps into view, flashing me the peace-sign. He’s pushed out of the way by a redhead with freckles.

My thirteen-year-old sister, Harmony, crowds the computer screen. “Mom says you’re dating a guy! Is it true?”

“Dude! Rude! “ Dubya complains off-camera.

The younger teen sticks out her tongue at him before throwing rapid-fire questions at me. “Is he cute? Does he go to your school? What’s his name?”

“I bet he’s smart.” My oldest sister, Sara, sits down on the sofa next to my father. “Karma’s always had a thing for the smart ones.”

“Who cares about that?” our little sister argues. “What does he look like?”

“It doesn’t matter what he looks like.” My youngest brother, Bo, tugs on the redhead’s braid. “As long as he’s good at sports—that’s what’s important.”

“But not just any sports.“ Bo’s twin sister, Mo, climbs onto Harmony’s back and hangs from her neck. “It’s got to be a cool sport, like football or hockey.”

My mother joins the impromptu gathering, smoothing a hand over Mo’s black hair. “Is competitive violence part of your path to self-actualization, young lady?” The golden-haired psychologist turns to the laptop, winking at me through the screen. “How are you, Son?”

“I’m good, Ananda, but I miss you guys,” I tell her. “Are you still coming to see me this summer?”

“About that,” Freedom says. “The kids are itching for a road trip. How would you feel if we dropped by a bit earlier—say, around the middle of May?”

Whoa, that soon? “If you can make it here by the eighteenth, you can watch the guy I’m dating give the commencement address at his graduation. He’s the top student of his class.”

Sara snorts. “What did I say? I called it.”

“We’ll be there,” my mother says. “I’m looking forward to meeting this new boyfriend of yours.”

“His boyfriend?” Harmony squeals. “OMG, I can’t even!”

Uh oh. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all. “He isn’t my boyfriend yet—we’ve only been on two dates so far. You guys are gonna need to be chill, alright?”

“No worries, Karma. We’ve got your back,” my father promises. Everyone crowds around the laptop, nodding in agreement, while Dubya flashes me the peace sign from his spot off-camera.

Holy shit, am I ready for this? Introducing Josh to my crazy family might be a great idea, or it could be the biggest mistake ever. Either way, Josh is gonna get a crash course in Wilson 101.

Thank god he’s a good student.

“I’ve made a horrible mistake, Karma.” Josh’s shoulders slump.

Shit, is he dumping me already? I didn’t even last a month. Evie was right—I should’ve acted like a gentleman and romanced him instead of surrendering to the first temptation. Josh should date someone with more self-control.

I reach across the table in the student writing center, taking his hand for what may be the final time. “I really like you, Josh, but I understand—whatever you choose to do.”

Josh glances up from his notebook, his expression softening. “I like you, too, Karma. But this speech… it’s all wrong. Why did I ever agree to give the commencement address? This is going to be a disaster!” He looks back at his notes and lets out a miserable sound.

His speech is the mistake? Oh, thank god.

“Let me see what you’ve written so far.” I hold out a hand, and he passes me the notebook. Taking my time, I absorb his words, adding a few notes on my own pad of paper. When I’ve finished reading it, I hand the notebook back to him. “I like it, Moonbeam. It’s very well-written.”

“But it’s not perfect.” He frowns at his notes. “It’s missing something. As my Nani would say, it lacks ‘divine fire’.”

“Well…” I hesitate. “Maybe it’s written more from your head than from your heart. The audience needs to feel your passion . For instance, you say that you want to work for NASA as an aerospace engineer, but you don’t tell us why. What about that career excites you?”

“It’s NASA .“ Josh rolls his eyes at my question. “Who wouldn’t want to work for the global leader in space research and technology?”

OK, fair enough. “But doesn’t NASA hire astrophysicists? It seems like they would be just as important to the study of space as aerospace engineers.”

“They are an integral part of the space program,“ he agrees.

“Then why choose engineering over astrophysics?” Seriously, why would someone as brilliant as Josh decide on a career that he thinks will be boring?

Josh sets down his notebook with a sigh. “We’ve talked about this, Karma. Engineering is a practical career choice. My family approves of it… sort of.”

“Wouldn’t your family approve if you became an astrophysicist?” I ask him.

His eyes fall to the table between us and he gives a half-hearted shrug. “My Nani would. She’s always supported my passions, whatever they are—which doesn’t always please my father.”

Ahh. So, that’s the problem. “Tell me this, Moonbeam. If you were writing a speech for your grandmother, what would you tell her? What have you learned that you’re excited to share with her?”

Josh glances up, his eyes brightening. “I have so much to tell her, Karma! She’s taking her first ride on an airplane just to come to my graduation.”

“I have an idea for you,” I say. Maybe this will get his creative juices flowing. “Write the speech for your Nani . Pretend that nobody else will be in the audience—not even your parents. What would you tell your grandmother about your time at Spartacus University? Maybe that will add some ‘divine fire’ to your speech.”

He grabs his notebook, scribbling a few words onto the paper. “That’s a great idea! I’ve always been able to talk to her about anything. Do you have any other suggestions?” He looks up at me, pencil in hand.

Since he asked… “Are you familiar with the Upanishads?”

Josh drops his pencil in surprise. “They’re the ancient Vedic texts that are the core of Hinduism. You know about them?”

“Only a small amount,” I admit. “My parents taught me a verse about following your desires: Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5. Do you know the one I’m talking about?”

He nods, quoting the text.

“You are what your deepest desire is.

As is your desire, so is your will.

As is your will, so is your deed.

As is your deed, so is your destiny.”

God, I love that quote. “Maybe you could mention that verse in your graduation speech. Not only is the writing from India, but it’s so inspirational. What do you think?”

Josh’s eyes light up. He adds a few more notes to his paper. “I love it. You’ve given me so many new ideas, I can hardly wait to write about them.”

“Are you feeling a little ‘divine fire’?” I tease.

“Speaking of fire,” he says, his eyes darting to my lips. Leaning across the table, he brings his mouth close to mine. “Tell me, My Prince—what is your deepest desire?”

His Prince? That’s what he called me during our ‘private date’. The intimate moment when he whispered those words flashes in front of my eyes. I can almost feel his bare skin… smell his musky scent…taste his cum through his lace underwear…

Uh oh. I can be a gentleman. I can.

Lifting his hand to my mouth, I brush my lips across it. “My deepest desire is to serve My King.”

A sensual smile spreads across Josh’s face. “Let me tell you what my deepest desire is.“ He whispers something in my ear that sets my body on fire.

Holy shit. Who wants to be a gentleman, anyway?