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Chapter twenty-nine

Isabelle

“I feel bad that I’m not cooking. Evie only invited me because she wanted me to cook.” I twist my hands together as we walk up to the front door of Rhett and Evie’s apartment building.

“Trust me, that’s not true. If anything, I think she felt bad asking you to cook and this is her way of making up for that.

” Kai pauses, tilting his head to the side.

“Although, we might regret that. She’s nowhere near as good in the kitchen as you are.

And Darling’s not any better.” He pulls out a fob for the front door and buzzes us in to the building.

I guess he and Rhett are close enough to have access to each other’s apartments.

The evil part of me wonders how many times he’s walked in on his friend and his sister.

“What you should be worrying about is whether or not you can keep your hands to yourself for the evening,” he teases, and I smack his shoulder.

“Wrong. You’re the one who gets all touchy-feely, so you’re far more likely to do or say something. I just have to avoid you and not react,” I fire back.

Kai just laughs and places his hand on my lower back to usher me into the elevator.

“See?” I say in mock annoyance, spinning away from his touch once the door closes on us. “You can’t help yourself. Always touching me and looking like that.” I wave my hand in his general direction.

“Like what, exactly?” He arches a brow, leaning against the wall of the elevator, looking way too casual.

“You know what.” I narrow my eyes, folding my arms across my chest.

He pushes off the wall and crosses the short distance between us. “No, I don’t. Please tell me. What do I look like?”

He’s inches away from my face, fiery intensity, lust, and so much more emanating from him. I’m shifting toward him, drawn as if pulled by a magnetic force. I need to kiss him once more before having to pretend we’re nothing but friends. God, I’m so tired of hiding from everyone.

Especially from myself.

But then the doors open and Kai steps back, a wicked smile on his face. “Guess you’ll have to tell me later.”

“You’re evil,” I hiss, not exactly pleased with the fact that I’m walking into his best friend and sister’s apartment with damp panties. I’m only slightly mollified when I see him reach down to adjust himself before exiting the elevator.

The door to an apartment opens before we even reach it, and Evie hurries down the hall.

“Aww, Gigi, I’m excited to see you, too!” Kai grins and opens his arms wide. Then she shoves past him and comes straight to me.

“Get lost, Kai. I’m excited to see Isabelle.” She hugs me tightly. And I stick my tongue out at Kai over her shoulder.

“Damn. I see how it is. Guess I’ll go find the one person who loves me.”

Evie breaks our hug and calls after her brother who’s disappearing into the apartment. “Rhett would pick me over you and you know it!”

“I meant Ruthie!” he shouts back.

“She’s mine, Kai!”

Evie gives me an apologetic look and hurries after her brother.

“Who’s Ruthie?” I ask the empty hallway, following them both. But my earlier nerves are gone.

I meet Ruthie a second later, when a gigantic, multicoloured dog comes bounding toward me, ears flapping in the wind.

“Ruthie, space.” Rhett’s command has the dog skidding to a stop just in front of me and plopping down into a sitting position.

“You can say hi now,” Rhett says, coming up with a warm smile. “Hey, Isabelle. Sorry ’bout that. Hope Kai warned you we’ve got the Godzilla of dogs over here.”

I drop down on my knees and Ruthie immediately tries to climb in my lap, covering me in wet kisses. “He didn’t, but that’s just fine. I love dogs.”

“And she has no personal space boundaries, as you can see. That’s why we’re working on the space command,” Evie says.

“And whose fault is that?” Rhett asks her, but it’s clear he’s not upset. The love between those two is almost painfully sweet.

“So this is how it’s gonna be, huh? You steal my sister and my niece-dog?” Kai drops down on the floor beside me. Ruthie spares him a look and licks the hand he reaches out, then goes right back to trying to lie down in my lap.

“She likes me better,” I reply with a smirk.

“Who? My sister or the dog?”

“Both!” Evie and I say simultaneously, then burst out laughing.

“Damn, bro, I’m sorry.” Rhett chuckles, moving into the kitchen. “Don’t worry, Yami, I still like you.”

With a huff, Kai climbs off the floor. Shooting me a mock glare, he follows Rhett. “Thanks, man. Bros before hos.” He lifts his fist, but Rhett gives him an unimpressed look.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to call the ladies that.”

Kai throws his hands up as Evie and I continue to giggle at his expense. “I can’t win tonight.”

I manage to extricate myself from the dog and stand up. Moving to his side, I place what I hope is a friendly — and nothing more — touch on his shoulder. “Nope. Might as well accept that now.”

“When you two were friends in college, did you ever watch him play pool?”

“You mean did I ever watch him lose at playing pool?” I say, accepting the glass of wine Evie hands me. “And oh, did I ever. I didn’t realize it was possible for grown men to pout like that.”

Rhett throws his head back and laughs before lifting his glass of water up to meet my glass. “Right? The man has perfect aim and kicks ass at any game involving a ball. Except for pool.”

“Listen. A pool cue is too fucking long,” Kai grumbles. “It’s not my fault the ball goes in the opposite direction I want it to.”

“Oh, it kind of is,” I tease. I stop myself at the last second before leaning into him. Shit. This is the downside to feeling comfortable around Rhett and Evie. It’s that much harder to not relax and act the way I normally do when it’s just Kai and me.

“Hold on. I need to write down all the ammunition for future blackmail,” Evie says, pulling out her phone before looking over at me. “Okay, continue. What other stupid stuff did my brother do?”

“Aw, c’mon, if this is gonna be a beat on Yami night, I’ll leave,” he complains, but there’s no heat behind it.

“Did you know he drinks a glass of warm milk at bedtime on the nights before a game?” I ask, lifting my glass to my lips to take a sip.

“It helps me sleep!”

“Warm milk? That’s disgusting, Kai.” Evie cringes as she lifts a bowl of salad out of the fridge and takes it to the table.

With a chuckle, Rhett moves to the stove and starts dishing up some sort of chicken dish that smells incredible. “I remember he used to insist on watching Power Rangers on game mornings.”

“Oh my God, he did that in college, too! Did he try to tell you the blue one was his favourite when it was obviously the pink one?” I take the plate he hands me and turn around to find Kai with his arms folded across his chest, a half smirk, half glower on his face.

He lifts one hand, and points between Rhett and me. “This. I don’t like this. You two need to stop talking. So I’ve got some superstitions left over from when I was a kid. So? Who’s the starting pitcher for a major league team now? Hmm? Right. I am.”

“Yet you can’t handle the heat of your two best friends teasin’ you?” Rhett snorts as he hands Evie a plate.

“This isn’t teasing, this is a personal attack.”

Evie comes to his rescue, wrapping her arms around his waist. “Awww, it’s okay big brother. We still love you.”

Something jolts awake inside of me at her innocent statement. That part of my heart I’ve been lying to myself about, claiming it doesn’t exist anymore.

I did love Kai. I thought I always would. And some part of me always did.

But is that the same as still loving him now?

Before I can dwell too much on that slightly alarming question that I really don’t want to examine too hard, much less answer, Rhett brings his own plate to the table and sits down. Then he turns to me, with what can only be described as pure mischief on his face.

“What was his warm-up song in college?”

“‘Home for a Rest.’” I look over at Kai, and he’s staring back at me.

So many memories flash through my head. That night at the bar when he went to the DJ and begged him to play the iconic Spirit Of The West song before dragging me out onto the dance floor.

Listening to it on repeat, watching him pretend to throw a pitch in my dorm room. He would go on about his dreams and goals of making the major leagues and how every time he’d pitch, I’d know he was thinking of me.

Rhett shrugs. “Never heard of it.”

“Babe. We need to listen to it immediately,” Evie exclaims.

He gives her an indulgent smile. “Sounds good, honey.” Then, turning back to Kai, he smirks. “So how come when we first started playin’ together you had a different song every week? Drove the entertainment staff nuts.”

“I was trying to find my vibe,” Kai protests, staring down at his plate.

“What kind of vibe was ‘Boulevard of Broken Dreams’?” Rhett laughs. “Damn, that was a depressing week.”

“Hey, I liked that song,” Kai grumps back.

“Yeah, well, the rest of us were damn happy when you moved on from that one.”

I manage to hide my reaction by putting another bite of food in my mouth.

Somehow, even with the games I’ve watched him pitch over the last few months, I hadn’t really paid attention to his song.

But as I think back, I realize it’s true.

He changed his warm-up song, and knowing that puts a deep ache in my chest.

“It was just a song,” he mutters, then takes another bite of food.

But “Home for a Rest” was more than just a song. At least it was to me. That song was special. A connection between us. Realizing he let go of that hurts. It’s one more weight on my shoulders, adding to the guilt and sadness of how badly we broke when I left.

And judging from the droop in Kai’s posture, the way he won’t look at me, I’m not the only one. The change in the mood is noticeable. I catch Evie and Rhett exchanging looks of confusion and concern. The last thing we need is them asking what the big deal is with a song.

“This chicken is incredible, Rhett, what did you put on it? I can taste cumin and garlic, of course, what else?” I ask brightly, hoping they accept my change in subject.

Rhett stares at his friend for another second before clearing his throat and turning to me. “There’s a healthy splash of a special hot sauce my mama sends up from Tennessee, a few other ingredients, and some butter.”

I take another bite, nodding as I notice the subtlety of the flavours melding together. “It’s really good. Kai was wrong when he said you weren’t good in the kitchen.” I quirk a smile, earning a chuckle from Rhett.

“Thanks, Isabelle.”

For several minutes, there’s nothing but the sound of cutlery against our plates as we all focus on eating.

The rest of the evening is awkward and stilted. It’s clear Rhett and Evie want to say something, their curiosity is evident. But thankfully, they don’t ask what went wrong.

Truthfully, I’m not even sure myself. So Kai changed his pitching warm-up song. A lot of things changed over the last eight years. We’re not the same people we were in college.

Back then, we were two carefree Canadian kids falling in love, thinking they had the world in front of them. Only our lives were on totally different trajectories and we didn’t even know it. Until I veered off course and ripped us apart.

The drive home to Kai’s apartment, where I parked my rental car, is quiet. It’s only when he parks in his spot, right next to my car, and shuts off the engine that I finally speak.

“Why did you change your warm-up song?”

He exhales, leaning his head back against the leather headrest.

Several seconds go by before he answers. Seconds where I try to steel myself for his answer, even though I know what he’s going to say. I’d have to be a fool not to realize he changed it because of me. Still, I need to hear him say it.

“Because I couldn’t take being reminded of you every fucking time I went to the mound. It was bad enough I had your initials on all of my hats. Hearing that song? It brought back too many memories. Too many feelings.”

Even anticipating his answer, it’s somehow worse hearing him say it. Then he digs the knife in deeper.

“You broke me when you ended it. For days I couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, couldn’t pitch worth shit.

My coach pulled me aside a week later and told me if I didn’t figure it out, I’d lose my shot at everything.

And I couldn’t let my dreams go just because you were gone.

They were all I had left. I pushed down the hurt, threw myself into the game, and registered for the draft the next week. ”

He rolls his head to the side, and the heartache glimmering in his gaze stabs me in the heart.

“Baseball is who I am now. It’s the most important thing in my life, other than my family. I promised myself back then that I’d never lose sight of that. No matter what.”

Tears fill my eyes. But what right do I have to be upset about anything that changed for Kai over the time we were apart?

Any discomfort I’m feeling, any sadness or loss, it’s my fault. I might have had a valid reason for doing what I did back then, but the responsibility for how it affected us both lies fully on my shoulders.

And I know I need to take a long, close look at what’s happening between us now. I broke him once. I can’t break him again.