Page 25 of Cursed Lifeline (Eternal Love)

Twenty Four

Esme

SONG: Sing Sing Sing | Beeny Goodman

The clipped rhythm of my feet hitting the pavement melds with the beating of my suspicious heart, causing an edge of panic to slither across my damp skin as I pick up my pace.

“Wait,” I scream, “Stop the train.”

I know the odds of them doing so are not in my favor, but still, I can’t help but try as I glance down at my watch and notice it’s now six o’five. Rain pelts down relentlessly, threatening to soak me straight through to the bone if I don’t get shelter soon. I slip in my heels and curse under my breath, thankfully catching and righting myself before I hit the concrete. Glancing down, I study the ground beneath my feet and dodge a few large puddles and potholes as I hurry along my way.

Flanking the locomotive, I push myself as fast as my feet will carry me. With one arm slung over my small bag, I keep it pulled tight to my side as I reach out and grab ahold of the handle to hoist myself up onto the train’s platform. My sweaty palm slips and I almost stumble to my knees and drop my bag. Cringing at the idea of all my unmentionables getting plowed below on the tracks, and grunting from exertion, I force myself faster and try again. Finally, my hand makes purchase, I smile, but the feeling of relief is short-lived as my bag slips. Worry gets the better of me, and I start to let go of the handle.

A firm grip tightens around my wrist a second later and pulls me closer to the platform. With wide eyes, I jump just in time and miss tumbling to my death below under the relentless beating of the train's wheels against the steel railroad. My feet hit the platform as I am hoisted to safety, and the strong hands that helped me quickly take my bag from under my arm. Out of breath, I remove my hat with a weary sigh.

“Didn’t think you were going to make it, petit,” Alfred shouts with a smile in the dim light of sunrise that’s poking out from the clouds overhead. The clickety-clack of the train against the track is muffled momentarily by the loud whistle from the steam dome on the locomotive.

“Make it? Or show at all?” I sass, shaking the rain from my hat once the shrill sound fizzles into the morning dew.

His grin deepens. “Both.”

A figure emerges from the doorway behind us and pulls me into the nearest car, “I told him he worries too much, but he wouldn’t listen,” Caelum grins. “I knew you’d come just by the look in your eyes last night.”

“My eyes?” I question with a raise of my brow.

I shrug out of my coat and shake some of the rain off. Caelum takes my frock and folds it over his forearm before possessively taking me by the elbow and ushering me further into the packed dining car.

“You shouldn’t trust everything you see in someone’s eyes?” I warn playfully.

As the words leave my lips, my gaze lifts and firmly catches hold of a pair of mesmerizing violet ones across the room. As the two men at my side start to usher me towards a small table, my stare stays locked on the strangers, and a slight headache begins to simmer between my eyes. Time seems to pause, and the clatter of dishes and sounds of morning chatter over steaming cups of coffee in the dining car fade away. The stranger confidently starts to stride my way and my knees wobble and threaten to go out as he comes closer.

“Felix,” Alfred greets the man before studying my reaction to the mention of his name.

Felix.

Staring into the stranger’s eyes, a comforting caress brushes against my memory, and my soul whispers it's found the one it's endlessly been searching for as his unwavering stare holds mine.

The familiar sight of him pulls at memories I’m convinced are real.

“I didn’t know you’d be on this leg of the journey,” Alfred says.

“I wouldn’t miss the opportunity if my life depended on it,” Felix’s voice seeps addictively into my heart. It deliciously courses through my veins, leaving me tingly all over as an addictive shiver shoots upward from the base of my spine. His voice is like my own personal melody, calling to me in a way that’s foreign yet feels so right.

Hope hangs in his violet eyes as his hungry gaze roams over every curve of my face. Butterflies dance in my stomach, then quickly take flight through my chest making me dizzy and overcome with a compelling euphoria. I steady myself on Caelum’s arm as we stop before our tiny breakfast nook. The stranger’s seductive voice has me hanging onto every last syllable as he says, “And you. I’d especially not miss the opportunity to meet your acquaintance, Esmerelda.”

My focus sharpens from the mention of my name falling from his lips. I study him curiously. The draw. The lure. It’s a pull unbeknown to me before now.

I find myself falling into it easily like a second skin as the headache between my eyes grows and begs me to pay attention to its apprehensive pounding. After a moment, I smell a hint of rosemary in the air, and my mind whispers, Pray you, love, remember . The headache lifts. My knees grow weak. I steady myself by gripping the back of the chair next to me.

Studying me closely, Alfred says, “Esme, meet Felix Caldwell.”

I tell myself to breathe as Felix’s uncivilized gaze roams lower and hungrily appreciates my curves. The unabashed, immoral way he takes me in makes me blush.

He grins, as if reading my thoughts, then picks up my hand and places a kiss atop my palm, “The pleasure is all mine, doll.”

I cling to his touch desperately. All too soon, he lets my hand go and a tragic loss vibrates through my lonely soul. My palm nervously falls to my side. Turning toward Alfred, he offers him his hand next. My cousin shakes it, then Caelum’s. Hellos are exchanged while I find myself still stuck in a haze wondering where I know Felix from.

I can’t place it, but just like my cousins, I swear we’ve met before.

I take the time Felix’s gaze is turned away to study him. The sun has yet to fully rise and break through the rain clouds, but through the haze shadowing us from a nearby window, it casts a beautiful apricot hue across the room. The way the glow of the day on the horizon surrounds him takes my breath away. Flashes of daydreams that feel like memories scatter to the forefront of my mind. I try to grasp them, sensing their importance, and yearn to know more. But they fade almost as quickly as they appear.

“When I sensed Esme’s decision to join your travels, I made arrangements for the lady to travel first class,” Felix says as I focus back on the present company surrounding me. “Her private roomette happens to be just across the hall from mine. If she’d like, I’ll escort her to her room. Unless, of course, she’d rather eat first?”

Felix’s eyes drift back and forth between Alfred, Caelum, and mine. Alfred glances at Caelum, and a silent exchange is had.

Pulling out his chair, Alfred hands Felix my suitcase, sits, and says, “If Esme wishes to freshen up, you may show her to her room.”

Felix glances my way, and eagerly offers me his arm to escort me to my private quarters. Nervous, I glance down at Alfred surprised. He picks up his menu and glances over his breakfast choices like he couldn’t care less about my safety, my virtue, and has no reservations about a stranger accompanying me to my room. Well, stranger to me, that is. It seems the three men have met before.

Caelum looks to be no help, either. With a mischievous grin, he plops down into his chair and waves over a server.

“Miss Martin,” Felix whispers as he takes a step closer and a panicked breath catches in my throat. “It would be my honor if you’d allow me to accompany you to your room, doll.”

My stomach flutters as I take his arm and he starts to guide me away. Glancing back over my shoulder, Alfred doesn’t bother to look up from his menu, all while Caelum waves me off chipperly as if he knows a secret I don’t, and he can’t wait for me to unravel it.

As we leave the dining car, Felix leans closer. His lips rest against my ear as he whispers over the noise of the travelers, “Your beauty is paralyzing.”

Shocked, I glance up into his eyes as we stop before thedoor. His gaze lovingly trails across my features and butterflies take flight in my lower stomach.

“Excuse me, Mr. Caldwell?” I ask, intent on protecting my virtue since my cousins don’t seem to care about it.

Felix grins, leans closer, and says, “Yet your alluring features don’t compare to the promising fragrance coating your skin.” I suck in a shocked gasp as his eyes intently hold mine. “Your scent is my favorite drug, doll. Your essence leaves me longing and desperately craving more.”

He reaches up and gently brushes his thumb against my flushed cheek. When his skin touches mine, an electric current surges from my body through his and forces us closer as we step through the door onto the open platform. Finding ourselves alone on the gangway between cars, our eyes meet and collide in a carnal frenzy that’s felt from the top of my head to the tips of my toes.

I fight the urge to lean into him as the train sways and turns us through the eastern countryside towards Long Island. The clunking and banging of the wheels on the tracks add to the building tension. The rain has subsided, and a heavy mist hangs in its place, blanketing Felix and me in an enchanted spell.

I tell myself not to read too much into everything. His words. His actions. This foreign feeling growing quickly between us. Especially since, up until a few moments ago, I’d never laid eyes on him before.

Or have I?

“Are you always this attentive to women you’ve just met, Mr. Caldwell?” I whisper.

“Felix,” he grins as he sets down my suitcase. His fingertips lightly trail to the back of my neck and he brushes them tenderly across a mark I’ve tried to disguise since birth. “Please, call me by my first name, Miss Martin?”

“Mr. Caldwell,” I assert.

“No,” he demands, taking a step forward.

I take one back and realize my mistake almost too late as the edge of my heels graces the lip of the platform. Before I can blink, Felix reaches out, wraps his arm around my waist, and pulls me close. I suck in a shaky breath, place my trembling palm against his chest, and chance a glance up into his eyes, “Just Felix, Miss Martin. It would honor me more than you know to hear my name fall from your lips.”

Someone opens the door behind us and Felix releases me quickly. The intruder gives us a curt nod before he shuffles hastily past and into the other car. When he’s gone, Felix grabs my suitcase and raises his arm for me to take again. It’s a gesture I don’t hesitate to accept this time and link my arm eagerly through his. He opens the door the other man just walked through and guides me to my room.

I blush as his large palm falls to the small of my back and he leads me down the tiny hallway. “Very well, then you may call me Esmerelda.” I glance back at him and his eyes fill with yearning that awakens a salacious urge inside me. “Esme, if we’re to be friends, and I do hope we will be friends.”

He gives me a small smile and nods, never taking his eyes off mine. When we reach a door toward the end of the hallway, he opens it for me, hands me my belongings, and gestures that I should go through first. I do as he silently asks, and as I pass, my body hums with delirious desire, which builds into an anxious need to be closer to him.

“You still haven’t called me by name, Esmerelda?”

The way my name falls from his lips causes a flutter of tender memories to mind. I stop suddenly, and glance back his way startled. But the memory that was so close to my grasp eludes me and falls back into the deathly shadows of my thoughts.

His eyes glow a brighter shade of purple and I’m quickly mesmerized by them.

“Is everything alright?” he asks.

“The way you say my name,” I whisper as I come to a stop in the middle of the tiny roomette, set down my suitcase, and turn his way. His brow furrows. His tempting mouth grins as if he’s hiding something.

“I’m sorry,” I shake my head with a small laugh. “It’s just...”

I trail off as the ghost of a smile deepens across his sinful lips. I sense, like Caelum, it’s as if he holds a secret he’s desperate for me to discover.

The truth is, I can’t put into words the way it makes me feel to hear my name fall from his lips or what the memory of his voice does to me. So instead, I shake my head, clear my throat, and try to also clear my thoughts the best I can.

“Where are you traveling to?” he asks.

“My travels take me to Long Island.”

“Do you have family in Long Island?”

“Not exactly,” I stammer quickly, as my heart worries for the first time since I ran off in the early morning hours at just what Aunt Camille will think when she finds my room empty except for the note I left for her.

Felix waits for me to explain further, but I don’t.

“What are your dining plans for our journey, Esme?” Felix asks after a few moments of slightly awkward silence has passed.

“Dining plans?” I feign innocence as if I don’t know what he’s getting at. “Well, if your eagerness to show me to my quarters is any indication, Mr. Caldwell, I won’t be dining anytime soon on our journey.”

He grins. “I yearn to learn more about your travels and you, Esmerelda,” Felix confidently holds my eye as he comes a step closer but doesn’t cross the threshold into my room. “It would please me more than you know if you’d agree to have dinner with me this evening in my cabin?”

“I prefer to keep my evening plans open, Mr. Caldwell,” I tease when in actuality, I’m denying him because I need freedom from this growing feeling between us so I can hopefully decipher if it’s wrong or right to feel the way I do so suddenly, so effortlessly for a man I’ve just met. He smiles and doesn’t push the matter further as he stands on the other side of the doorway. “After dinner though, I sometimes like to unwind with a game of cards.”

“As do I,” he grins but keeps his space.

He gives me a wink, and I don’t know if it’s the flirtation or the way his words jolt a recollection of a past life, but the lack of air in the room is suddenly stifling. His brow raises. A grin pulls across his handsome face.

“Are you going to invite me in, Esme?”

Am I? I don’t know. My head warns I shouldn’t, but my heart yearns to be closer to him.

“Then again,” he frowns, “maybe forget what I said. I don’t want to taint your reputation with the rumor of a gentleman in your room before our journey has begun.”

Flustered by the implications of his comment, I find myself responding to what my soul craves and say, “Please enter, Felix.”

A look of relief flashes across his features. Unable to meet his stare, I turn and walk further into the room just as he steps over the threshold. When he does, it’s as if all the oxygen in the room is suddenly sucked out and replaced with his overwhelming presence.

I reach out to steady myself by grabbing ahold of the nearest wall. I pull at the front of my dress, attempting to loosen the tight confines of my bra underneath, then fan my flushed face, but it’s no use. Suddenly, his presence is at my back. He leans forward, crowding me in, pressing my breasts up against the wall. The firmness of him, his strength, his control, it causes my knees to buckle. Felix’s arm wraps around my waist and holds me upright.

Sucking in a sharp breath, I glance over my shoulder and realize the door to the room is closed. We’re all alone. The weight of that knowledge wedges between us and makes it impossible for me to think straight. My chest rises and falls quickly, but I can’t seem to suck in enough air and start to panic.

Felix’s hand raises and wraps around my throat. He brushes my hair out of the way and his lips fall to the back of my neck. His mouth tenderly caresses across my birthmark and an indecent moan slips past his lips.

“The men you’re used to, doll,” he growls in my ear. “Do they ask before they take?”

His strong grip anchors around my waist as he tenderly brushes his lips over the mark again. At a loss for words, my eyes flutter closed. His nose tenderly brushes against the nape of my neck and he whispers, “Something tells me, I’m not like the men you’re used to.”

“I’m not used to any man…”

“Good,” he grits, pressing me further into the wall. A desperate groan falls past his lips. Its pleasurable sound causes my breath to hitch as he growls, “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”

“Why?” I gasp as his hand releases my neck and he brushes his fingertips lovingly, teasingly down the center of my chest.

“Because that means you’re chaste.” I suck in a wanton breath. “Pure.” He places a kiss against my collarbone, and I swear I see stars as my body betrays me and my back arches into him. “Untouched.”

He trails his hand to the back of my neck, across a secret I’ve always tried to keep hidden. His sharp intake of breath as his thumb gently sweeps across my heart-shaped birthmark causes desire to pool between my thighs.

As his lips hover above the mark, his voice is laced with emotion as he says, “In time, you’ll remember.”

“Remember what?” I pant.

“That you’ve been expecting me just as much as I’ve anticipated you.”

His mouth trails to the side of my neck. My pulse beats rapidly against his lips as they close over my pulse point before he slowly kisses a path back to my birthmark. The sharp hiss of my dress's zipper lowering causes me to stop breathing. A second later, cool metal wedges itself between my trembling skin and the strap of my bra. With a violent snap, Felix cuts the fabric, and I suck in a much-needed breath. He smiles against my skin as he tenderly kisses the heart-shaped mark.

A moment later, his hands fall to my hips. He grips my sides with selfish desire, then flings me around to meet his stare.

As my hungry gaze meets his ravenous one, his fingertips trace the side of my cheek, and I lose myself in the moment—in him. A faint whimper escapes my lips as his fingers trail to the back of my neck and perfectly rest against the mark I was so sure I was born with, up until a few minutes ago.

“Don’t deny me, Esme,” he breathes desperately against my mouth. “After all this time, I don’t think my heart could take it.”

Closing my eyes, I remain silent as an urgent need builds between us.

“Have dinner with me,” he insists. “Tonight.”

Instantly, I nod, accepting the invitation. I don’t know what I expect next: his kiss, a loving embrace. But neither come. Instead, before I open my eyes, his presence suddenly vanishes, and I collapse into a nearby chair.

I don’t hear him leave, but suddenly find myself all alone.

I sit for a long time wondering what just happened. Eventually, I glance to my right and notice a red rose sitting atop a note on the desk across the room. Pulling myself to stand, I timidly walk over, pick it up, and breathe in its heavenly scent. Its aroma calls to me. It begs me to unlock a past I know I need to understand.

Picking up the note, I noticed that my name is written in beautiful script on delicate paper. Turning it over, a message is revealed, and I read,

“All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

Play with me, Esme.

One. More. Time.

-Felix

My dream.

Startled, I drop the paper as an unsettling chill ghosts over my skin. I debate going back to the dining car to join Alfred and Caelum, but in light of all that’s just happened, I’m not hungry. Sitting on the sofa, my hands shake as I prop my feet up on the bench across the way, lean back against the pillows, and take in the sunrise against the countryside while the train takes me further away from the only life I’ve ever known. The irony is it’s taking me closer to a life I’ve been desperate to uncover.

Eventually, the sound of the train running the tracks starts to lull me to sleep. I close my eyes and doze off thinking of one thing.

Felix Caldwell and his striking violet eyes that hold a secret my soul desperately wants answers to.