Page 15 of Cursed Lifeline (Eternal Love)

Fourteen

Felix

Song: not strong enough | Apocalyptica

As I run after her, my feet pound against the earth with such brutal force, it echoes through the night with a threatening cadence that promises a swift death to whoever touches what’s mine. The hammering of my feet against the ground courses jolts of adrenaline through my body as I attempt to find Esmerelda through the thick forest at the back of her father’s estate.

It’s no secret that vampires like the chase. The hunt. The delicious tempting of their prey in the dark of night. Esme has given me just that and more as I race after her in the moonlight.

The problem is, she’s also giving every other undead the same pleasure.

Her training has benefited her greatly, but it has also slightly hindered me. She’s now faster, trickier, cleverer than I’ve witnessed her be before.

I trail her scent to a clearing deep within the evergreen trees. But she’s nowhere to be seen. Staggering back a step, I spin around, looking for her, and grin when I take in a bloody handprint on a nearby tree stump. Reigning in my thirst, I glide a couple of steps towards it and eagerly brush my gloved fingertips across the crimson wetness.

A jagged spike of wood penetrates my gloves. Underneath the leather, my skin pricks against the sharp edge of the wood and cuts into my palm. My blood pools, mixing with hers. A low growl escapes my lips as I bring my hand to my face, breathe deeply, close my eyes, and lose myself to Esme.

Consumed with her smell, I almost forget why I’m here. Almost lose sight of what drew me out into the night, until...

“Help!”

The voice is weak. Small. Fragile. So tiny I almost miss it.

“Please ...”

I turn around quickly. My eyes strain in the thick cloak of night as they try to make out where the voice is coming from. The smell of her blood mixing with mine clouds my thoughts as the shadows of midnight play with my eyes. Eventually, my senses are drawn to a cliff on the far side of the clearing.

“Someone… anyone...”

I rush forward, skid to a stop at the edge of the bluff, and look around frantically. I know I’m not imagining things. I heard her voice. I’m sure of it.

“Please,” she calls again, this time from underneath me.

I look down and my eyes widen in shock as I take in her fearful expression.

“Help,” she screams as she looks over her shoulder at the vast abyss below. Her feet slip, and a few small rocks fall from underneath her. Frantic, she glances around for a way to climb up off the ledge.

She hasn’t looked up, she hasn’t seen me yet.

“Esmeralda!” I shout.

Finally, she glances my way.

“Felix,” she sobs, as her hand slips and she lets out another scream.

All previous thoughts of her blood on my hands, her smell consuming me, flee my mind as I kneel to the ground in a hurry. The only thing that matters now is keeping her safe. The sharp rocks underneath my shins tear through the black fleece of my trousers and pierce into my skin as I quickly remove my gloves, stretch forward and reach out to her.

“Thank God,” she breathes in relief as she strains towards me just before her hand perched on the ledge slips again.

Rocks fall away under her feet, crashing sharply into the ravine below. My heart lunges into my throat. She lets out a deathly scream, this one more blood-curdling than her last. I stretch further forward and try to balance myself on the ledge so I don’t tumble down after her. Reaching, stretching, breathing heavily, I stare into her tear-filled eyes as my damned heart threatens to stop beating from the thought of losing her.

“Felix, please,” her plea comes in a hoarse whisper as she continues to stretch as far as she can to hopefully grasp my hand. Her eyes plead with mine as we attempt to claw closer to one another. Scared. Terrified. Practically paralyzed with fear, I’m suddenly overcome with the realization - I can’t lose her. Not this way. Not tonight.

“I’m slipping,” she cries.

Her ankle gives out on the rock ledge she’s perched on, and she starts to tumble to her death. She barely holds on as her feet find the last morsel of earth she has left to stand on, and her toes desperately cling to the ledge.

“Reach for me, Esme,” I shout.

“I’m trying!”

“Try harder,” I snap.

Her eyes flash to mine. Annoyance overtakes fear, and she forces herself onto her tiptoes and extends her arm. Reaching as far as she can, she finally closes the gap between us, and I slip my large palm around her slender wrist.

“Atta’ girl,” I grin. Sucking in a shaky breath and pulling her off the cliff’s ledge, I lift her to safety, She falls against my chest, and we stumble back a few steps before falling to the forest floor.

We lay still for a moment. Her eyes hold mine as shadows play a dangerous, beautiful dance across her stunning features. My blood-stained hand raises and brushes disheveled hair out of her terrified eyes. Before I can tenderly swipe it behind her ear, her crimson-stained fingertips interlock with mine. Her hand shakes as it clings to mine with thankful desperation. I suck in a deep breath and realize my mistake too late.

Her blood, still warm from the cut on her palm, is the most addicting perfume I’ve ever smelled. Dropping her hand quickly, I ardently roll her onto her back. Framing her face with my left hand, my right, the one mixed with my blood and hers, snakes around the back of her neck and brings her lips to mine.

The heat of my bloody fingertips burns and starts to sear into her skin. She gasps out in pain, and I pull back just before our lips meet. She reaches around the back of her neck where my fingertips were, and worry fills me as a frightened tear falls in disbelief down her flushed cheek.

Rising quickly, I pull her to standing.

“Let me see,” I whisper.

She turns her head, and I take in a small heart-shaped burn seared into the back of her neck right below her hairline. Swallowing hard, I back away. She turns around slowly and our eyes lock in the moonlight.

What have I done?

“What were you doing out here, Esme?” I manage to ask.

She reaches behind her neck and fearfully touches the mark.

After a moment, she glances away and answers timidly, “I couldn’t stand the look in Lord Laurent’s eyes tonight.”

It’s not a complete lie. However, it’s not the truth I need, either. For the first time since meeting her, I can’t read her thoughts. Cursing Alfred and his minions for teaching her such tricks, I take a predatory step forward, but before I can question her further, she says, “I also thought maybe you might be out here.”

Now that is a lie. She felt my presence, even heard me say her name before she took off running.

She bites her bottom lip and continues her deception, “Dancing with Caelum left me feeling dizzy; I needed some air, and...”

“You felt like a chase?” I snarl, allowing myself a small breath of air and regretting it instantly as the smell of our vital union once again sweetly assaults my senses.

She denies answering me. I pick up her bloody hand and raise it between us. Squeezing her palm, she lets out a sharp gasp, and her mouth falls open as the moon's glow illuminates the cut in her palm.

A hungry, deep growl erupts from my chest.She lets out a small whimper.

Angry, I drop her palm and demand, “What’s more, you agreed to be used as bait?”

“What does it matter to you, Felix?” she asks furiously.

An icy wind blows past, carrying with it my death wish as I’m engulfed by her heavenly aroma.

When I don’t answer, she snaps, “If memory serves right, when we first met, you told me you’d never let me have your heart.”

Her response is a stark contrast to what I’d hoped was building between us these last few weeks. In the interest of needing answers to her sudden change of heart, I demand, “So, instead, you decide to draw out the animal in me?”

I take a heated step towards her. She takes a cautionary step backward. Her eyes fall between us. I let out a tisk and shake my head.“That wasn’t such a wise choice.”

Her heated gaze snaps up to meet mine. Before she can respond, I act on instinct, just like the animal she’s made me out to be, and back her quickly up against a nearby tree. I expect her to scream, to yell, to call for help.

After all, she’s left herself vulnerable. Defenseless.

She’s let herself be used as fucking bait.

She does this again over my dead body.

The watchers could have fed her into the wrong hands tonight if I wasn’t nearby. They could’ve ended her life.

If they’re going to be rotten teachers, her future is better held in my hands so I can teach her lessons they never can.

As I step closer, this time, instead of backing down, she straightens her spine as the beast within her rises to meet my own.

Staring into her eyes, my hand coated with our blood rises and gently brushes across her bottom lip, coating her mouth in a scarlet allure. As my depraved touch falls away, she eyes me with heated mischief, licks where I’ve just stroked, then bites down on her plump lip hard enough to draw more blood. The riveting sight almost sends me over a carnal, fatal edge as my body presses greedily into hers.

“You left yourself vulnerable to a higher power tonight, Esme,” I growl, as my face falls and my mouth hovers over the delicate skin of her clavicle, “When are you going to learn, in less time than it takes you to draw your next breath. I could easily stop your heart.”

My hand drifts to her neck. Her pulse beats wildly against my blood-soaked fingertips as the vein in her throat pulses underneath her porcelain skin and my hand brushes hungrily across the thundering rhythm of her anxious heart. It’s the most intoxicating sight I’ve ever seen.

Yet, somehow, I’m able to stop myself from taking what I really want.

I’ve never had this much control before. Never been able to restrain myself like this before.

Curse between us be damned. What I feel for her is real. She’s not the prey. She’s the hunter. And I’ll forever be her willing victim.

As my eyes lift to find hers, the fire in her gaze, the knowledge of her control over me steals my next breath as her chest rises and falls rapidly.

“And,” she grits out as her right hand brushes between us, “In less time than it takes a man to make up his mind,” her palm flattens against my chest, and she pushes me back a step. Drunk on her smell, I lean back and realize my mistake too late as her right hand sharply places a stake in the middle of my chest. “I could take your immortality.”

A low growl escapes my lips as my eyes hood over and hold her brazen stare.

“But, in your defense,” she sasses, “every man does think he’s a God. Especially when it comes to women.”

Before she can blink, I have the stake knocked out of her hand and quickly spin her around to face the tree she was just leaning against. With my right arm wrapped tightly around her waist, my left grips her throat and anchors her to me.

Resting my lips against her ear, I whisper, “Not God, mon cheri, more like the devil himself. Be honest with yourself. If you were really intent on killing me, you wouldn’t have staged such an elaborate production to test my limits. Rest assured, Esme, my practiced restraint, my control, is only reserved for you.”

My mouth lowers to her neck. She doesn’t say a word. Doesn’t fight me. Trusts me with her mortal life.

Before now, I would have told her she shouldn’t. But as I look down and see my hands soaked with our blood, breathe in and hold her smell deep inside my burning, aching lungs and don’t act on instinct, I realize that what I’ve just told her is truer than either of us might believe.

My grip around her throat loosens. I wet my lips as Esme’s rushed breaths surge blood through her veins. Placing a tender kiss on her shoulder, I hold my lips against her skin and challenge myself. Taking another deep breath, my mind dangerously hangs on the edge of all reason as my free hand falls to her hips. Snaking my arm around her middle, I flatten my palm against her pelvis and pull her hungrily into a tight embrace.

“You make me pray for mortality,” I growl. “For a chance to make you mine. If only for one night. The way the good Lord intended.”

“Funny,” her voice shakes as I lazily run my fingertips across her womb. “I didn’t think your kind believed in God.” Anger simmers underneath my skin. “I didn’t think you believed in anything but yourself and...”

I quickly swing her back around.

“Everyone believes in a higher power. Even if they spend their whole lives denying it.”

She eyes me with challenge before leaning forward. Her lips come within a breath of mine. I pull back quickly.She grins.

Something about the taunting smirk pushes me closer to the edge of losing all control.

Hungrily leaning forward, this time Esme pulls back just before my mouth can claim hers.

Tip-toeing around the truth, she brazenly asks, “And what are you denying, Felix?”

Can I answer her honestly?

A cursed madness boils in my veins as our bodies tangle, hands roam, memorizing every safe inch of each other's bodies as my lips hover above hers.

“Is this what you desire?” I ask urgently, barely able to stop myself from taking her kiss. “To take a man to the brink of all self-control with no intent of fulfilling him?”

“My intentions have always been earnest and forthcoming,” she pants, arching her chest into mine. “What about you, Felix? Why won’t you give us what we both want?”

“You shouldn’t want this,” I hiss. Leaning in, my lips brush achingly across her soft mouth, but they don’t claim it. “And neither should I.”

“Don’t stop the inevitable,” she softly cries. “If you weren’t so stubborn, maybe you’d see what I see.”

Bracing my hand against the tree behind her head, I force her stare to meet mine. Searching her eyes, I ask, “And what do you see?”

“The answer to my heart’s dreams,” her eyes plead.

My forehead falls against hers. My heart breaks. “How can I be your answer, Esme, when we’ve both been created to destroy one another?”

Her eyes hold mine as she wets her lips, and the air between us sizzles, snaps, and becomes electric. I wait with bated breath for her to tell me what I already know—what her mind whispered to me in that magnolia-petaled garden.

“Because I chose you,” she smiles, and my heart stops. “We’d never destroy each other, Felix, because, beyond our control, we’ve already chosen to love.”

My gaze falls to her lips as I hang on to her last word.

Love?

Swallowing hard, I lean closer and say, “That’s where you’re wrong. In choosing you, protecting you, the only way to truly love you, and keep you safe is if I stay away.”

My words hold more weight than she knows.

If the curse is real, choosing each other like this will prove fatal in the end.

But instead of listening to myself, I let the sudden, panicked thought of never holding her in my arms like this again get the better of me. My right hand fists her blond locks, my left possessively grips her hip, and I drive her body back against the tree.

She releases a startled gasp as my fingers lace desperately through her champagne tresses. As I twist her strands around my fist, I subconsciously make a dangerous choice to listen to want, need, and carnal instinct, if only for one night. Closing the distance between us, my lips brush lightly against hers, teasing the point of no return.

“If I kiss you,” I warn, “it’ll change everything.”

She holds my stare as our chests heave and an understanding is bridged between us.

“Do you understand?” I demand, needing to know she’s fully aware of what she’s getting herself into. “The rules are simple: I’m jealous and possessive. If we cross this line, you’re mine.”

My hand, coated in our blood, drifts to the back of her neck. The burning heart my fingertips seared into her flesh minutes ago starts to ignite. Her eyes widen. I try to pull away, but she leans her head back. Crushing my hand between her neck and the wood of the oak tree, she anchors me to her.

The connection. The promise. The commitment. The pledge we’re silently making swirls around us in an electric haze pulling us deeper into its thrilling trance. Her neck heats to an unbearable high and she lets out a light scream. I try to pull away, but again, she denies me the space to do so.

My hand shakes as I hold her eyes and the searing pain from my touch sears into the back of her neck. A lonely tear falls from her eyes, but I’m too paralyzed by what’s happening between us to do anything but watch it drift sadly down her blushed cheek.

Eventually, she whispers, “And you’re mine, too.”

Suddenly, the electric thread tying us together snaps into an irreversible tie. Instantly, her skin cools. I release her neck and this time she allows me the space I need to pull away. As my burning hand falls to my side, I quickly gather her into my arms.Speechless, I hold her under the moonlight and try to calm the rhythm of my thundering heart.

Taking a deep breath, she whispers, “My father says I’m to marry Lord Laurent.”

“Won’t happen,” I grit out.

My hands trail back to her neck.

“Felix,” she purrs as my fingertips gently caress the heart-shaped spot. “If I don’t marry him, my father will...”

Her words fall short as I pull back and another tear rolls down her cheek. Without thinking, I lean forward and kiss it away, then tenderly cradle her face.

“Trust me when I say, you won’t be married to a Lord you don’t love just to save your father’s estate.”

She stares up at me adoringly as I hand over the last piece of my heart and hope it isn’t a mistake.

My mind brings to remembrance a quote from her book.

There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Hamlet was a fool. Sure, some believe he feigned madness. But anyone in their right mind knows that prolonged torment tricks the mind into self-inflicted, convincing insanity. In the end, he manipulated himself into a deranged frenzy that brought about his demise.

For Esme’s sake, I won’t play the fool and deny my feelings for her any longer.

Curse be damned.

From this moment on, I’ll. Always. Choose. Her.

My hands trail to the back of her neck as I pull her closer. My fingertips graze the heart-shaped spot as I promise, “From this moment on, Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love."