Page 32 of Crystal Iris #1

Twenty-Six

“I never paint dreams or nightmares. I paint my own reality.” – Frida Kahlo

I ’m brushing Jet when Hoyt shows up at the barn.

“Morning.” I lift my gaze to him. He’s extremely sweaty, his gym clothes tight against his skin.

“Hi.” Before he can say anything else, I hear a truck coming down the road.

I walk out with Hoyt to see if it’s the delivery truck. We’re all here. Even Akira has woken up early to meet the rare breed.

The large vehicle opens its back door, and my mouth drops. The horse isn’t just white; it’s radiant. Without a doubt, the most beautiful horse I’ve ever seen. The animal’s blue eyes lock onto mine, and my prism pulses. I move to pet it.

“What do you think?” Hoyt asks, moving his hands through the horse’s mane.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. He doesn’t look real.”

“It’s a she.”

“Where did you find her?”

“I know a few breeders.”

“Broc said she isn’t a racehorse, though.”

“No, she’s not. I got her as a gift.”

I look at him, and he’s grinning .

“A gift?”

“For you.”

“What?”

“She’s yours.”

“You bought me a horse?”

“Did you prefer a car?”

“I don’t know… what to say. You can’t give me a horse.”

“Why not? She can live here. That way, you’ll have to come by to check on her sometimes.”

I move around her, checking every inch—my horse, my own horse.

“You need to give her a name.”

“Me?”

“She’s your horse.”

Broc, Sawyer, and Akira are taking turns petting her, too.

“Mona,” I blurt out.

“As in... the Mona Lisa?” Hoyt asks.

“Yes, and also because Mona means a lady of nobility.”

“Now all you need to do is learn to ride Mona.”

I look at him.

“Sawyer will teach you. You can start the lessons tomorrow, after your work with Broc.”

“Hoyt.” I want to grab his hands. “This is the best gift I’ve ever received. I love her.”

“You’re forgetting the gift around your neck.”

I laugh.

Nobody does anything productive. We all want to be around Mona. Each man tries to saddle her, but she isn’t having it.

“Looks like we’ll be using Jet for your lessons for now,” Sawyer says.

I don’t know what to think regarding him giving me lessons. He’s not exactly giving me friend vibes. Maybe Hoyt is paying him well to do it.

“Thanks. I’m looking forward to them,” I tell him .

“Sure thing,” he says, trying the saddle once more.

“We should keep her out here for now,” Sawyer says to Hoyt. “Let her run.”

“Out here?” I ask. “Won’t she be... cold?”

They look at me.

“It’s summer, Iris,” Hoyt says.

“You should’ve told me she was untamed,” Sawyer grunts, trying to catch up with Mona again.

“Horses have a great memory,” Akira says from my side. “Funny enough, I never forgot that fact. I also remember something about a novice rider and a green horse being a bad combination. There’s a good chance one or both of you will be seriously injured.”

Hoyt overhears her and comes closer. “Iris will practice on Jet until Mona is ready.”

“Will she... be ready?” I wonder, not meaning to say it out loud.

“Sure. Sawyer has a way with wild ones. He can handle it.”

I glance at his friend. Mona’s giving him a hard time; I can tell she’s afraid.

“Are you sure she’s all right outside?” I ask Hoyt again on our way back home.

“It’s only for the first night. Let her calm down a bit.”

“How am I supposed to care for an animal I know nothing about?”

“You aren’t. She’s yours to ride. But we’ll take care of her.”

“Hoyt, this was... I don’t know, special. I really do love her already. Is that weird?”

“To love at first sight? I don’t think so.”

I feel his words go through me.

And then I think of Benny, the only other animal I owned. My eyes well up with tears at the thought of him. I’d forgotten Benny had also been a gift. I wonder how Aaron’s doing with the news of Lara taking his place.

Hoyt decides we need to celebrate Mona. He’s firing up the grill while Akira and I prep the skewers and salad.

“Do you miss the city?” Broc asks, taking a seat next to me.

“Not at all. Maybe the museums.”

“I’ve never been to Boston,” he says, looking at Akira.

“You should come. It’s really nice in the fall. You can stay with me,” I tell him.

“I don’t think Akira feels the same, you know…”

I look at him. He’s fallen for my friend, just like I’ve fallen for his. “I’m sorry, Broc.”

“I’m used to... the heartaches.” He gets up to help Hoyt.

It’s a gorgeous summer night. The smell of the food, the laughter of my friends, the thought of Mona—my life has turned into something I could never have imagined a year ago.

We eat, we drink, and we sing. Broc brought his guitar. I had no idea he could sing and play until he starts. He sings happy and sad country songs, and I let myself enjoy every bit of the night. I’m done holding back on being happy. I want it all.

Once Broc and Akira move indoors, I ask Hoyt, “Will you walk with me?”

He puts his plate down and follows me to the edge of the water, the moonlight guiding us. We walk in silence, until I ask, “Any scary creatures in this water?”

He laughs. “Just fish,” he answers.

I stop walking. I didn’t know I was ready until now. I start to undress.

I take off my boots, and then my jeans. I’m nearly unbuttoning my shirt when Hoyt asks, “Iris?”

“Swim with me,” I say.

The water feels cold at first, but I get used to it quickly. Hoyt copies me, undressing right away. He’s looking at me intensely; the night is bright with the full moon shining on the water. I can see his face, his beautiful eyes. I need to feel him.

I swim closer. Our bodies respond to the first touch immediately.

This time, I kiss him . Slowly and fast, I want it all but I also want to take my time. I move my lips on his, our tongues meet.

And then he kisses me. With the same need as mine. He moves his mouth down my neck, to my collarbone. I have to hold tight on to him when the water pulls me away. I wrap my legs around him and we stay like that for a while, kissing.

“You are beautiful,” he says, pulling away just enough for me to see his eyes blink.

“Thank you for being…patient with me,” I say, touching his face.

“I would have waited my whole life for this,” he tells me, grabbing my hair gently.

He moves his hands over my body, feeling every part of me. He plays with my nipples and I moan at the sensation. He caresses each breast, taking his sweet time.

We are both working hard to do this underneath the water. Definitely not the easiest thing.

I move my hand to sense his arms, his chest, every muscle. I continue studying him; I slide my hands lower, to his cock. Hard, so hard. He responds to my touch, kissing me almost violently.

His hands move to my center, descending to my entrance. He touches me slow, gentle, increasing with each stroke. I don’t know how I have been able to wait this long for him. I’m starting to lose control when he moves his hands away.

“Don’t stop,” I tell him and he smiles between our kiss.

“I thought you said…wicked slow is”—he kisses my neck, biting my ear—“very good.”

“I lied,” I say, yearning for him to resume what he started.

He laughs but his hands goes back to rubbing my bundle of nerves .

“More,” I whisper in his ears.

He inserts a finger and I struggle to stay connected.

“The water,” I say, trying to hold on.

He starts to pull me closer to where our feet can meet the sand. As soon as we get our feet down, he grabs me to him.

He is moving his fingers again, on me, in me.

Ours prisms are connected, shining under the water.

I want all of him, I need him inside me…and when I try, he pulls back and turns me around.

“It’s my turn…to take things slow,” he whispers while my body leans on his.

“What?” I ask him, arching my body.

“Tonight, it’s about you,” he says, using both hands.

He adds another finger and I melt. His precise movements are impossible to take. I moan and let my nails dig into his skin, my entire body consumed by my orgasm.

“Hoyt! Iris!” We hear Broc calling our names minutes later.

We freeze. He calls again and we know something is wrong.

“You get out first,” I tell him. I don’t want to be seen naked by Broc, even if it’s dark out.

“What?” Hoyt’s voice is rough. He’s still trying to catch his own breath.

Broc immediately starts to apologize when he finds us.

“Sorry man, I didn’t…” He turns around.

“What the hell is going on?” Hoyt asks while putting on his pants.

“It’s Johanna. She’s here.”

Hoyt looks at me in the water.

“Go,” I tell him. “I will be right there.”

I wait until they are far enough away to get out of the water and put my clothes back on.

My prism is still a beacon of light, guiding me down the path back to the house.

Johanna is as beautiful as Hoyt—same eyes, same color hair—perfectly cut in short layers just above her shoulders.

She stands there, looking at me and Hoyt, both of us soaked.

“What are you doing here?” he asks her.

“It’s nice to see you too,” she replies, her tone full of attitude.

“You disappear for three years and then decide to… show up like nothing happened?”

Akira comes down with towels for us.

I look down at the floor; water drips from my hair.

“This is my house too.” She glances at me quickly.

We haven’t been introduced yet.

“I’ll move my stuff from the room,” Akira says, walking upstairs with Broc.

“You can stay in mine,” I tell Akira, and she nods.

“What the hell is that white purebred doing in the ring?” Johanna asks, her voice sharp.

“None of your business,” Hoyt responds, frustrated.

“It’s damn right my business—Dad left the horses to me.”

“Not that one.” Hoyt runs a hand through his hair.

“How much did you pay for it?” Johanna presses.

“Again, none of your business. Why did you come back?”

“Can we have some privacy?” she asks, eyeing me with clear displeasure.

“She stays,” Hoyt says firmly.

“It’s about?—”

My prism’s light blinks, and Johanna looks at me.

“Is that a…?”

“Show her,” Hoyt tells me.

I pull my prism out from under my shirt.

“Holy shit. There are… more,” she says, sitting down, still staring at me.

“I can give you both privacy,” I offer, starting to walk away .

“You might as well stay,” Johanna tells me.

“Johanna, spill it,” Hoyt says, drying his hair.

“Do you want to change first?” Johanna asks, looking at both of us.

“Johanna!” Hoyt says impatiently.

“It’s about Mom,” she replies.

.“Mom?” Hoyt’s voice changes, softening.

“She’s… alive,” Johanna says, and I almost lose my balance.

“How?” I ask, since Hoyt hasn’t spoken yet.

She opens her bag and pulls something out. “Here.” She hands Hoyt a photo album.

He flips through it, and I lean closer to look. The photos are of who I think is Hoyt and his brother, with their mom and a little baby. He keeps flipping through the pages. The third child, a little girl, is almost one in some of the photos.

“She didn’t die during childbirth,” Johanna says.

“Where did you get this?” Hoyt asks her.

“In the safe,” she replies.

“The safe?” Hoyt is still staring at the photos.

“I know you never wanted to open the damn thing, so I did. One night, when you pissed me off, saying Dad left you the lands because I couldn’t handle it.

Well, I wanted to find proof—something else to show you that I was capable of handling it.

I knew you hadn’t touched the safe since Luke, so I opened it.

And this was there. Along with other paperwork.

I left the rest. When I realized what it meant—that I didn’t…

kill her—I needed to know more. I wanted to show you, but I didn’t want to raise hope. That she might still be… alive.”

“Where did you go?” he asks.

“Searching… for her.”

“You found her?” His voice is weak, full of disbelief.

She shakes her head. “No, but I know where she is. I want you to come with me.”

“To where? ”

“Alaska.”

I sit on Hoyt’s bed, brushing my hair when he comes in. I’ve just gotten out of the quickest shower of my life. I left Hoyt and Johanna talking, only to interrupt a serious conversation between Akira and Broc. With nowhere else to go, I found myself here, in his bedroom.

“Will you stay here with me?” he asks, still in his wet clothes.

“How are we going to sleep?”

“My bed’s big enough.”

“I don’t want to hurt you in the middle of the night,” I tell him, considering the idea.

“We’ll put pillows between us.” He winks at me—that same wink from the party, the one that weakens me every time.

I smile. “Okay, we can try.”

I text Akira, telling her she can have my room as Hoyt heads into the bathroom.

I’m under the covers, browsing on my phone, when he comes back, a towel wrapped around his waist.

I can’t take my eyes off him—his body. I could still feel him on me.

He disappears into his closet, only to return wearing just a pair of black trunks. I haven’t seen him like this—not in this light, wearing almost nothing. His body reminds me of the Greek sculptures I know so well. Each muscle is defined.

I haven’t let myself really look at him before. Now, I take my time, tracing the scars and tattoos. A horseshoe beneath his right arm, just at his ribs. His brother’s prism shape on the back of his shoulder. And above his heart, there’s a date: IV_XVIII_MCMLXIX.

“What’s the date for? ”

“My mother’s birthday.”

“Do you think she really is… alive?”

“I don’t know. You saw the photos. Why the fuck did everyone lie to us about it?”

“You don’t remember her? After your sister was born?”

“I kind of do, but my memories are scrambled. I thought I did. I told myself they had to be memories of her before Johanna. But I’m not sure if I remember them together, or if I just made some of them up.

There weren’t many pictures of my mom around the house.

Dad always said it wasn’t their thing—taking pictures.

I don’t know. I should have pushed him for answers.

Looks like we both have parents who ran away. ”

“When are you leaving for Alaska?”

“Who said I was going?”

“Hoyt, it’s your mom.”

“And she knows where I live.”

He lies down on his side of the bed, on the side of the pillow mountain I made for us.

“It’s hard to lay here and still feel so far away,” I say, spilling my feelings.

“You have no idea how much I wish I could hold you right now.”

“I think you should go… to Alaska.”

“Why?”

“If there was any chance that my mom was alive… I would take it.”

He takes a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can do it,” he says, and I can feel him even without our bodies touching.

“Your sister… she deserves to know too,” I tell him.

“Will you come with us?”

“Me? I don’t know, Hoyt. I think this is something for you and your family to do. It’s not my place to… meddle in.”

“I need you. ”

“Are you sure? Johanna didn’t seem to want me around.”

“I don’t want to cut our time short. We only have a few weeks left until you go back to work.”

“When would you be leaving?”

“I need a day or two here to get a couple of things in order.”

“Let me think on it. Let me see how your sister takes the idea.”