Page 26 of Cruel Russian Pakhan (Safin Bratva #1)

Pregnant.

I was pregnant with Lev’s child.

What did you expect to happen when you engaged in sex without protection, Katya?

I couldn't help but see a parallel between my mother and myself. I had gotten pregnant by a man who wasn't my husband—well, technically, anyway. I had gotten pregnant by a man who used me for his sinful desire. A man who didn't love me. A man who heard the news and bolted.

You fucked up, Katya.

But unlike my mother, giving up my baby wasn't an option.

Not that Lev would let you give him or her up.

I remembered what Lev told me. If your father had known, you would’ve been in his life. Bratva leaders are very protective of their children, especially their daughters.

Shit.

Would Lev try to take the baby? Would Artyom step in, claiming the child was illegitimate since Lev and I were supposed to annul our marriage, and decide to keep it?

Would he even care? A part of me believed Artyom wouldn’t give a damn about the baby, but he’d be furious that he couldn’t marry me off to that fifty-five-year-old creep.

Hell, he might try to marry me off to someone even older out of spite, and let Lev keep the baby.

The thought made me sick.

This wasn’t how I’d ever imagined finding out I was pregnant. I used to dream it would be magical, joyful. Rainbows, laughter, and that weird craving for pickles everyone talks about. Not…this. Not calculating a strategy like I was preparing for World War III.

I sighed and leaned back against the pillow, closing my eyes. I needed someone to talk to. Maybe I could call Ninel and Mariya, see if they could come visit me. I needed a listening ear, and if it came with advice and a shoulder I could cry on? I'd take that, too.

As I opened my eyes and turned to pick up my phone from the small table next to the bed, the door to my room opened, and Vera and Kira walked in.

I was stunned for a heartbeat before they rushed in and wrapped their arms around me.

I barely registered Lev’s voice from the doorway saying he'd be right outside.

“What are you both doing here?” I asked once they finally let me go.

“After Lev acted like a lunatic at the house, we got worried,” Vera said casually. “So we had our people track you both down.”

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Kira asked, her eyes flashing. “Because if he did, I swear…”

I gently squeezed her hand, cutting her off. “No. He didn’t hurt me…not physically, anyway.”

I pushed myself upright, and Kira sat beside me on one side of the bed while Vera settled on the other.

“What happened?” Vera asked softly. “Why are you here?”

Before I could answer, Kira’s fingers brushed against the sonogram photo resting on the table next to the bed. I hadn’t been able to look at it, not after Lev walked out earlier and never came back.

Kira’s voice broke through the silence, a mix of shock and wonder. “Katya…you’re pregnant?”

My eyes flicked to Vera’s. Guilt swelled in my chest. “Vera, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Vera pulled me into another hug. “Katya, you and Lev are married. It’s okay. Just because he and I were supposed to get married doesn’t mean I ever wanted him.”

“You’re not angry?” I asked, pulling back to search her face.

She smiled. “I’m not. Being a Bratva woman means being loyal to our families and factions. That loyalty often means forming alliances through marriages to people we don't even love.”

There was a sadness in Vera's voice, a longing in the last few words she said.

I tilted my head. “So…is there someone you do love?”

Vera blushed.

I gasped. “Vera! You have to tell Artyom. Maybe he can help you marry him.”

She laughed. “I’ve never even talked to the guy, not really. Just…admired him from afar. And unless he has something Artyom wants, or asks for my hand and offers a deal, it’s not going to happen.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered, genuinely meaning it. This was the twenty-first century; women should be able to marry for love, not obligation.

Katya, did you marry for love?

“It’s okay,” Vera said gently. “But I’m glad you found someone who loves you.”

I arched a brow. “Lev? That man practically sprinted out of the room when he found out I was pregnant.”

Vera rolled her eyes. “Men like Lev don’t love like they do in romance novels.

He’s not all cuddles and heart-eyes. But back at the house?

He wasn’t paying attention to anything I said.

His eyes were glued to you. And when Artyom tried to marry you off?

He lost his damn mind. Or have you already forgotten? ”

I shuddered. I didn’t think I'd ever forget the day Lev placed a gun to my head.

“In the hallway, when he found us sneaking in,” Kira added, “he practically blew a gasket warning us.”

I blinked. “Wait, what do you mean?”

Kira sat up straighter. “After he told us about your mom not knowing Dad was married, leaving, putting you in an orphanage—he said something that stuck with us.”

She cleared her throat and lowered her voice in an exaggerated attempt to mimic Lev. “And now that I can give her everything she needs—security, love, a future—I’ll be damned if I let anyone take her back to a place where she felt unloved and unwanted.”

My mouth dropped open. Kira laughed. “Yep. That was our exact reaction, too.”

“He loves you, Katya,” Vera said gently. “Even if he doesn’t know it yet. Finding out you’re pregnant probably scared the hell out of him. Give him time.”

I sighed. “That’s what his sisters said.”

“Smart women.”

“I just feel like everything is always about him. Like no one is thinking about how I feel.”

Vera nodded. “It might seem that way now, but when that lightbulb clicks in Lev’s brain, when he realizes he loves you, trust me, everything will change. He’ll make sure you are the center of his world.” She wiggled her eyebrows playfully, and I laughed.

“I’m so glad you both came.”

“Us too,” Kira grinned. “I’m going to be an auntie!” she squealed.

Vera wrinkled her nose. “Are you ready to not be the center of attention anymore? You won’t be the baby of the group now.”

Kira rolled her eyes. “Please. I will always be the baby, thank you very much. But Katya’s baby? Firstborn of both families? That kid’s gonna have serious rank.”

“Hey, no baby of mine is pulling rank before they even get here,” I teased. “Let me meet them first and spoil them a little.”

Kira giggled. “That child is going to be spoiled rotten.”

Vera laughed. “Something you'll have in common,” she teased Kira before turning to me. “Don’t be surprised if baby gifts start showing up at your house.”

I laughed along with them.

Vera’s expression softened. “But are you excited? About becoming a mom?”

“At first, I was terrified…and I still am. But after hearing about my mother, and how little support she had, I feel a lot better knowing I have yours.”

“Of course you do,” Kira said firmly. “Don’t ever doubt that.”

We spent the next thirty minutes talking about weird cravings, possible baby names, and how often they planned to babysit so Lev and I could keep our relationship and sex life strong. Their laughter, their presence, it was exactly what I needed.

Eventually, Vera checked her watch. “We’ve got to go. If we don’t leave now, Yegor will have a full search party out looking for us.”

They stood and hugged them both tightly. “Thank you for coming. I’ll miss you.”

“We’ll miss you too,” Vera said with a warm smile.

“This isn’t goodbye,” Kira added, blowing me a kiss as they turned to leave.

I watched them go, already feeling their absence. I missed them the moment the door closed. Their excitement about the baby…their support…it meant the world to me. And now, more than anything, I wanted to share that same feeling with my brothers.

Lev stepped back into the room.

“Are you okay?” he asked, eyes sweeping over me like he expected Vera and Kira to have hurt me.

“I’m fine. Thank you for letting them come.” Then I added hesitantly, “I’d like to see my brothers, too.”

“No.”

I blinked. “What do you mean, no? You let Kira and Vera in, why not them?”

“They’re different. Your brothers will try to use you. Especially Artyom. I won’t allow that.”

“Then forget Artyom, what about Yegor and Zahkar? They’re not threats. You saw that yourself at the house.”

“They’re aligned with him. They help run their faction. It’s not safe.”

I let out a bitter, humorless laugh. “Why am I even asking? You're not my master, Lev. I don’t need your permission to see my siblings.”

His expression turned to stone and the temperature in the room dropped with it.

“If you think I’ll let you put yourself and our child at risk because you’re feeling sentimental, think again. In our world, being sentimental gets you killed.”

A flash of pain crossed his face, but it vanished as quickly as it came. His cold, unreadable mask slid back into place. He stepped closer to the bed, bracing his hands on either side of my hips, his eyes locking with mine.

“When we leave this clinic, you’ll have security with you, everywhere. And if you try to run, Katya, the dungeon that you joked about when we first met? That can still be an option.”

My stomach twisted. My tone matched his stoic one as I spoke. “You think that scares me? I don’t care anymore! I’m done letting you dictate who I can or can’t see. I’m pregnant. I want our child to know their family…all of them. You’re being selfish.”

His jaw clenched. “I’m being careful. There’s a difference.”

“You’re being controlling,” I snapped. “And you’re not even trying to hide it. You didn’t show up for the ultrasound. You disappeared after finding out I was pregnant, and if it weren’t for Vera and Kira, I’d still be alone.”

“I was overwhelmed. I needed time to think.”

My anger flared. “And I'm not? I didn’t need time to think? This child is in my body! Mine! I was terrified, Lev. And still am. Yet, you left me to deal with it by myself.”

He reached for my hand. I pulled away.

“Don’t.”

His hand dropped slowly, and he took a few steps away from the bed, the silence stretching between us like a noose.

I pressed my fingers to my temples, rubbing slow circles as the throb of an oncoming headache settled in. Arguing with Lev was like slamming into a brick wall, pointless and exhausting. I decided to change the subject before I lost what was left of my sanity.

“What are you going to do?” I asked softly, looking at him. “About the baby…and me? We both know I wasn’t part of your plan.”

“We’ll talk when we’re home.”

I tilted my head. “Why not now? Is your answer going to magically change tomorrow?”

Lev sighed. “Katya, not everything has to be a fight.”

“Then stop dodging the questions,” I responded stubbornly.

Lev exhaled sharply and turned away, dragging a hand through his hair. When he faced me again, the edge in his voice was back.

“We’ll talk tomorrow. In private.”

I nodded stiffly. “Then we’re done here. You can leave.”

He stared at me like he didn’t quite believe I meant it. “You want me to leave?”

“We’re clearly done talking.”

“Katya…”

My voice hardened. “Just go.”

He lingered for a moment, then turned and left. The door clicked shut behind him.

I sank back against the pillows, refusing to cry.

Why should I? Because the man who’s supposed to be my husband can't even fake concern?

He doesn’t love you. You weren't the woman he was supposed to marry. You'd be a fool to wait for someone like him.

The thought twisted like a knife.

He’ll care about the baby, because it’s his. But you? You’re just an incubator.

I swallowed hard, forcing those thoughts from my mind.

Right now, I had one goal: convincing Lev to let me see my siblings.

I had no illusions; he'd absolutely assign a security detail to shadow my every move. So I had to be smart. I had to prove I wasn’t going to be used as a pawn, and that Yegor and Zahkar weren’t the threat he believed them to be. Maybe then, he’d actually listen.

I began rehearsing what I’d say when he returned. If this didn’t work, if he didn’t listen now, by the time he did decide to listen, which might be after the baby, any cord of friendship my brothers and I had built at the house would be completely severed and irreplaceable.

Fifteen minutes later, the door swung open, and I sighed in relief, glad that Lev had returned. This time, because I knew exactly what I wanted to say, I was more confident that he’d agree.

My heart stopped when the person stepped into view.

It wasn’t Lev.

He was dressed in black with his face hidden behind a ski mask. Three others stormed into the room behind him.

I opened my mouth to scream, but a cloth pressed against my face, soaked in something sharp and chemical.

Darkness swallowed me before the scream that bubbled in my throat could escape.