Page 8

Chapter

Eight

MAXIM

I ’m lying in my bed when Luna comes into my room.

She’s wearing a little robe that looks too good on her. I can feel my cock instantly rise at the sight of her.

“What are you doing?” I ask, rubbing sleep from my eyes.

She doesn’t say a word as she drops the robe. Her naked body looks back at me, and fuck, it’s glorious. Still not speaking, she crawls onto the bed and leans over me.

“Don’t you want me?” she asks.

Fuck, I do. But I can’t. Luna is off-limits. She needs a protector, not a man to use her.

“Yes,” I admit. “But, Luna, we can’t.”

She doesn’t even seem to notice my reply because she kisses me, and that kiss drowns out all the noise in my head. I kiss her right back and wrap my arms around her waist, laying her on the bed.

We don’t stop kissing, even as I take my clothes off.

Even as I line my cock up to her entrance.

Even as I finally claim her as mine.

I wake up covered in sweat and realize I’m lying on the floor. Luna is in my bed, sound asleep, covered in clothes. Neither of us is naked. Neither of us is fucking.

Because it was all a dream.

Fuck. I run my hand down my face. I can’t be having dreams about Luna like that. I can’t be thinking about her like that.

She’s so innocent and good and sweet. She doesn’t know enough about the world for me to make her mine. It’s not fair.

She’s only seen her lighthouse and now the clubhouse.

She needs to see more of life. That gives me an idea. But for now, I lie back down and try to fall back asleep, all the while telling my erection to go away.

Luna doesn’t wake up once.

LUNA

When I wake up, Maxim is gone.

I miss the sight of him already. It brings me peace, especially after what happened with Jasper and the other men looking at me constantly, like Sal and the new guy, Ed.

I change into a top and the jeans Rose bought for me. Never in my life have I worn pants before. They’re a lot less revealing than dresses, and it makes me feel more protected when I go into the common room.

Immediately, I go to Rose behind the bar.

“Sleep well?” she asks me.

I flush a little. My dreams last night were … interesting. I kept dreaming of Maxim’s shirtless chest and his eyes on me when he saw me naked. I kept feeling the urge to grab a pillow and rock my hips against it as I did before, but I held back. I know enough now to know I’m not supposed to do that when another person is in the room, especially Maxim.

Rose gives me a knowing look before handing Sal a beer.

“Looking good, Luna,” he says, eyeing me over. “You should wear jeans more often.”

“Pig,” Rose says. “Stop looking at her. And stop making everything so sexual. Leave her be.”

He takes his beer and walks away without a fight, not once apologizing.

I notice that man, Ed, staring at me from the other side of the room. I look back, and he doesn’t tear his eyes away, even as he takes a sip of beer from the bottle. Even as he lowers it. Even when I avert my gaze and look back, I still find him watching me.

Fortunately, Maxim enters the clubhouse. I look away from Ed and focus all my attention on Maxim. I don’t need to be afraid when he’s with me.

“I had an idea,” he says, setting an envelope on the bar. “I think we should go out. Have some fun.”

Rose raises her eyebrows but doesn’t say a word.

“Fun?” I ask. “What kind of fun.”

“I was thinking about it last night. You haven’t seen a lot of this world, and you should. You deserve to. So, I got tickets for this concert.” He pulls out two slim pieces of paper from the envelope. “Here.”

Written on them says Radio Tears, and the time is 7:00 p.m. tonight.

“Who are Radio Tears?”

“They’re a band,” he explains. “I thought that music would be a good way for you to learn more about the world. And I figured it wouldn’t be too overwhelming since we’d go and just watch. Easy. Simple.”

“I’ve never listened to music before. I read about it and asked God once, but he told me music wasn’t for me.”

“That’s horrible. Music is … something else, trust me. So, do you want to go?”

“Do I want to go? Of course, I want to go!” To spend more time with Maxim is the real reason. Any chance I get to be with him more makes my stomach flutter with happiness.

The way he smiles is so easy and handsome. “Great. You can wear what you have on.” For just a moment, his face turns a little red before he clears his throat and looks away.

“It’s a date,” Rose says.

“What’s a date?” I ask.

“It’s when you go out with someone you like. Spend time together.”

I perk up. I like Maxim and want to spend more time with him.

Maxim shakes his head. “It’s not a date. It’s just two friends. I want Luna to experience more of the world. Simple as that.”

I deflate a little. Why is he so adamant about putting space between us? I don’t understand Maxim at all.

But that’s ok. I’m not going to let him ruin my mood.

I have a concert to go to and the chance to get away from Ed’s intense gaze. When I glance back at him, I notice just how … angry he looks. I run upstairs before anything can happen.

Riding on the back of Maxim’s bike again feels like flying. Even with the helmet on my head, my hair still blows in the wind. This is the closest I’ll ever get to feeling truly free.

Maxim’s strong stomach is underneath my hands as I cling to him. The more I touch him, the more I want to continue touching him. It’s like an addiction. God always warned me of those, saying that sometimes too much of something could be bad. Well, I can never imagine having too much of Maxim.

I just wonder if he’s gotten too much of me.

Ever since the day he saw me naked, he’s pulled back slightly. This is the first time we’ve ever been alone, except when we’re asleep, and even then, he waits to come in after I’ve fallen asleep. I’ve been waking up to the sight of him on the ground.

Keeping me safe.

When I snuggle in closer to him, Maxim’s body tenses slightly, making me frown. I know he’s keeping something from me, but what? He doesn’t share much.

We arrive at a large parking lot full of different cars. Clusters of people head toward an even larger building. Gosh, I’ve never seen something this huge before. This expansive. It makes my lighthouse seem so small in comparison.

Maxim helps me off the bike and removes my helmet. For just a moment, his fingers linger on the side of my head before he drops his hands.

“It’s ok, you know,’” I say.

“What’s ok?”

“For you to touch me.”

He clears his throat and averts his gaze. “Do you understand what you’re saying?”

“I’m not a child, Maxim. I know.”

“Do you really? Because touching someone isn’t always innocent, and I just need you to understand that.”

“It’s innocent for me.”

“But it’s not for me,” he says more to himself. “Come on. Let’s head inside.”

I marvel at all the people in the parking lot. Short ones and tall ones and skinny ones and fat ones. God always told me I was never allowed to get fat. I had to always watch what I ate.

But God isn’t here anymore. I can do whatever I want. Eat whatever I want. Touch whoever I want.

And right now, I want to touch Maxim, so I grab his hand. He startles.

“Luna …”

“Can I not hold your hand? It’s not sex. I know that much.” And from what I’ve been told, having sex is a taboo thing.

He stares down at my hand in his for a long moment. “You’re right. It’s not.”

“Does it bother you?”

“No, it doesn’t bother me,” he says gruffly.

“So, there’s no problem?”

He meets my gaze, and there’s so much in his nice, warm eyes, but he doesn’t tell me. “There’s no problem.” He squeezes my hand, and together, we walk toward a ticket office. He hands the tickets over, and we’re let into the large building.

“It’s a stadium,” he explains. “Where singers and bands play their music. People come to watch.”

“That’s fascinating.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I guess it is.”

The inside of the stadium is filled with thousands upon thousands of seats. In the middle of the stadium is a stage.

“What are those?” I point to the contraptions on the stage.

“Those are drums and guitars. Microphones. Musical instruments. You weren’t taught about any of this?”

“No. They never showed up in any of my books, and God never told me.”

“You know some things, but other things are a mystery to you.”

“God was selective in what he told me. I wonder why.”

Maxim’s hand tightens around mine. “It was to control you. Keep you ignorant on a lot of things. The less you knew, the less you could question him.”

“That’s bad?”

“That’s very bad. It’s why I want you to experience more of life. It’ll be good for you.”

“I agree.”

We take our seats, which are far away from the stage, but I don’t care. All of this is brand new and so exciting.

“It’s what I could get at the last minute,” he explains.

“It’s perfect.”

A young woman sits down next to me, looking close in age. She’s on her phone, texting. Rose explained what that was to me.

This woman looks so carefree in her short top that exposes her belly. She doesn’t look like a girl who was locked in a lighthouse her entire life.

The concert begins with a group of men coming onto the stage. The crowd cheers for them, clapping their hands.

“Everyone is so excited,” I say to Maxim.

“That’s usually how concerts go.”

The band starts playing, and the sound that comes out of it is beautiful. The singer has an addictive voice. I could listen to him forever. But he doesn’t compare to Maxim’s voice because Maxim’s voice makes my stomach flutter.

When the people around us stand up and clap, I do the same. I want to feel normal. I want to be like everyone else here.

“This is amazing!”

The way Maxim smiles down at me sends a shiver through my body—the best kind of shiver. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it. It’s good to see more of life. See other people.”

“I have so many questions. I want to talk to everyone.”

“I don’t think that’s possible, but you can ask me anything.”

“And you’ll answer?” Sometimes, Maxim holds back on telling me things.

He looks me straight in the eye. “I’ll answer.”

“How does someone play an instrument?”

“You learn. It takes practice. It’s like learning a new language.”

“There are other languages?” God never told me.

“There are. Hundreds.”

“I’m going to learn them,” I say with a confidence that makes Maxim laugh.

“You do that.” His fingers brush my own. Was it a mistake, or did he mean to do that? I sidle closer to him and wrap my fingers around his. Maxim doesn’t pull away.

I’m so grateful for that.

The band goes on a break, and everyone gets up to go to the bathroom or to get snacks.

Maxim continues to hold my hand as we leave the stadium, but once I head to the bathroom, he lets me go.

“I’ll get us some food. What do you want?”

What do I want? No one has ever asked me that before.

“They have popcorn or hotdogs or candy.”

“What’s popcorn?”

“I’ll get you some, and you can try it.”

“That sounds great.” I stand on my tiptoes and kiss Maxim on the cheek. It just feels natural and right.

Maxim turns a little red and clears his throat. “Popcorn it is.” He goes to stand in line while I head for the bathroom.

I never realized before how long it takes women to pee, but it takes a long time.

When I finish going and come out to wash my hands, I bump into another woman. It’s the girl who’s seated next to me.

“Sorry.”

“Watch it,” she grumbles, making me flinch. “Seriously? Are you blind? Watch where you’re going next time.”

“Why are you so mean?”

She stares at me for a beat before she huffs, “Because you ran right into me.”

“Doesn’t mean you have to be mean. I apologized. You could learn to be a little bit more kind.” I quickly wash my hands and leave the bathroom. When I glance back, I see her standing there in shock.

I find Maxim in the crowd right as my tears hit me.

“What happened?” he asks. His warm voice just makes me cry harder.

“Some girl was mean to me. I don’t understand why. I bumped into her, and she was just … mean.”

He sighs deeply. “Some people are just that way. Don’t let it ruin your night, though. Ok? Here.” He hands me a bag full of yellow things that smell delicious. “Try some popcorn. It’s really good.”

I wipe my tears away and pop a piece of the food in my mouth. The taste is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. “It’s so good.” I quickly eat a few more pieces.

“I’m glad.” His smile is so warm and open. I could sink into his eyes forever.

“Maxim?” I ask as we start walking through the lobby back to the stadium. “Why are some people mean? I don’t understand it.”

“Some people just want to be angry at the world.”

“But why?”

“Why did God kidnap you and hold you hostage? Some people are just fucked up in the head. Others just have an attitude because they can. There’s not always a rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes it just is.”

“That’s sad.”

“Yeah. It is.”

A loud shout comes from the crowd, changing the energy of the room. And then I hear a loud bang. People begin to scream.

“What’s going on?”

Maxim holds me close to him. “Someone’s shooting a gun. We need to get out of here.”

“What? Why?”

And then I see it. A man holding a handgun is firing it at people. The girl who was seated next to me, the mean one, gets shot in the back and crumbles to the ground. She doesn’t get back up.

“We need to get out of here now.”

We try running, but the crowd is too thick. Everyone is trying to run to the entrance to get away from the shooter. It causes us to get stuck.

People press in around me, making me feel like I can’t breathe. I’m suffocating. Oh my gosh.

Maxim pushes someone out of the way, clearing a space for me to run forward. But when I look back, I don’t see Maxim behind me. The crowd of people swallowed him whole. I’m on my own.

“Maxim! Maxim!” Fear claws at my throat. It makes my legs go numb. My heart is pounding so fast; it’s all I can hear.

I try to run in the direction of where he was, but people push me to the side. “Maxim!”

A man runs right into me and knocks me to the ground. The sound of gunshots keeps going off. People won't stop screaming. They don’t stop running.

I try to sit up, but the crowd runs right over me. People step on my arms and my hands and my back.

“Please,” I whimper. “Help me.” Tonight was supposed to be fun, and it’s turned into a nightmare.

A man steps right on me, causing my vision to go black.

“Get the fuck away from her.” Maxim’s familiar voice rings out. Next thing I know, his hands are on me, and he’s helping me stand. I slump against him. “I need to get you out of here.” Without hesitating, he scoops me into his arms and carries me out of the building.

The moment we’re outside, I feel like I can breathe again.

But the commotion doesn’t stop. People still run past, screaming and crying. I notice some of them are covered in blood. Other than my period, I’ve never seen blood like this before. When Jasper hit Colin in the nose, Colin bled a little, but it was nothing like this. Pure chaos and pandemonium. Women are sobbing. Men are visibly shaking.

Maxim runs over to his bike and sets me down gently on the seat. “Let me look at you.” Taking my face in his hands, he slowly moves my neck around, looking at me from all different angles. “You’re already bruising on your face. I should take you to the hospital. Just to make sure you’re all right.”

“What’s a hospital?”

“God never told you?”

I shake my head. That’s not a surprise. God barely told me anything.

“It’s a place sick or hurt people go. Doctors fix them up. I want to make sure you’re not seriously hurt.”

“Because you care about me?”

“Of course, I care about you, Luna.”

My body is moving before I even process it. I lean over to him and press my lips to his. I know what a kiss is: God told me he would kiss me when he finally came for me.

Maxim tenses for a moment before he slowly kisses me back. His lips meld with mine. It feels a little funny—soft and squishy, but I like it. The nerves in my body stand to attention. For the first time in my life, I feel alive.

And then Maxim pulls away abruptly. “I’m sorry, Luna. We can’t.”

“Why not? You said you care about me.”

“I do, but … we can’t kiss. It’s not right.”

“There’s something wrong with me?”

“No. God, no.”

“What does God have to do with this?”

He lets out a rough breath and rakes his hand over his face. “I just mean that no, there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re just so innocent. I don’t want to take advantage of you. I … can’t like you like that, Luna.”

“Like me how?”

“Like you want me to.”

I suck in a gasp, and tears sting at my eyes. God explained to me what rejection is. He always told me I was never allowed to reject him.

Maxim is rejecting me right now.

All because he doesn’t want to be the kind of man to kiss me.

Before I can stop myself, I run away from him. The emotion in me is bubbling up. It’s all too much. How can I feel so safe and warm around Maxim, but he doesn’t feel the same way? None of it makes sense.

“Luna!” Maxim calls after me.

I pick up my speed and run into the large crowd of people still running from the stadium. I don’t stop running until I make it to an alleyway that’s quiet and devoid of people. I just need a moment to think. I need a moment where Maxim doesn’t have his intense eyes on me, making my stomach flutter. Where I can process what just happened.

This world is so much larger than I was thought, and most of it doesn’t make any sense to me. Gosh, why can’t it just make sense?

I slam my hands against the wall as tears stream down my face.

“Need help?”

I gasp and spin around to see a man standing in the alleyway. “Actually, I do need help.”

“What do you need help with?” He’s masked by the shadows, so I can’t make out what he looks like. Does he have a nice face? Or … not so nice?

“I need to get back to Maxim.” I shouldn’t have left him. Despite being upset with him, he would know how to help me. He always knows.

Even if he’s the reason I’m crying right now.

“I don’t know who Maxim is, but if you’re looking for a man, I can help with that.” Lunging, he grabs me and pushes me up against the wall. This close, I can make out his features. He has a sneer on his face that ruins his looks.

“Let me go!” Remembering Roses’s advice, I bring my knee up and slam it into his groin. He grunts and releases me, and not wasting another second, I run away.

And run right into Maxim’s arms.

“Luna. Oh, thank god.” He pulls me into an embrace. “I lost you. I thought …”

“What did you think?”

“I thought you might be hurt.”

“But you don’t like me.”

He pulls back and cups my face in his strong hands. “I do like you, Luna. It’s just … complicated. But I’d never want you to get hurt. Come on. Let me get you to the hospital.”

“Some man tried to hurt me.” I point behind me, but the alleyway is empty. Whoever that man was, he’s long gone.

Maxim makes a dark sound in the back of his throat. “He’s lucky he’s gone.”

“Why?”

“I would have made him regret ever hurting you. I’d make any man regret ever hurting you.”

“Because you care?”

“Because I care.”

Gosh, he’s so confusing. He likes me, but he doesn’t like me? That was one good thing about the lighthouse—life was much more simple.

Maxim takes me back to his bike and drives us to a hospital. The entire experience is fascinating.

A nurse takes me to a room with a table/bed in it. “An exam table,” Maxim says in my ear.

“Name?” the nurse asks me.

“Luna.”

“Last name?”

I have no idea. I was never given a last name.

“Baranov,” Maxim says.

“Date of birth?”

I also have no idea.

Maxim rattles off a birthday, but is it mine? The nurse asks me more questions about my medical history, and I can’t answer any of them. Maxim manages to answer for me until the nurse leaves.

“How did you know all of that about me? I didn’t even know.”

“That’s because I made it all up. I didn’t want the nurse to think it was weird. I just want you looked over, and then we can return home.”

“Why did you choose that last name for me?”

He goes stark red for a moment. “Uh …” His smile is bashful as he rubs the back of his neck. “It’s my last name. It was just quick thinking.”

“Why do you look shy?”

That makes him look even more embarrassed. “Well, usually, a woman takes a man’s last name in marriage. But obviously, we’re not married. It was just so the nurse didn’t ask too many questions.”

“So you keep saying.” But as I sit there and take in Maxim’s shy face, I wonder if it wasn’t just for the nurse’s benefit.

I wonder if he’s lying to me at all about how he feels.