Page 12

Chapter

Twelve

MAXIM

T he house is in Jersey.

It blends in with the other cookie-cutter homes on the street. White paneling mixed with red brick. Two stories. Classic American homes.

This is where Luna was born. Where she was raised until she was kidnapped. Ed lived on this street, saw her, and took her to a fucking lighthouse without anyone else around her. All because he wanted to create a “perfect” woman made just for him. He couldn’t try dating like a normal person.

John and Ashley Walker live in this house. It wasn’t hard to find their information.

The question is—are they really Luna’s parents? Ed could’ve been lying. I’ll never get the chance to ask him again if he was.

I didn’t bring Luna with me because I don’t want to get her hopes up if this goes wrong. She doesn’t need another heartbreak.

With a deep breath, I knock on the door. I made sure not to wear my biker cut or leather jacket. I don’t want to freak out these people before they get the chance to understand what’s going on. So, instead, I’m in a brown jacket I dug out of my closet. Nondescript clothing. I look like any other man.

After a few moments, the door opens, and there stands an older man in his fifties with gray hair and kind eyes. John Walker. I saw his picture when I did my digging.

“Can I help you?”

“Yes, my name is Maxim. Are you John Walker?” I know he is, but I need to hear him say it. How is he going to play this? Push me away or listen to what I have to say?

“Yes, I’m John.” He shifts on his feet, looking a little annoyed. “What are you here for?”

“This is going to sound strange, but I have to ask. Did you have a daughter who?—”

He starts to shut the door in my face. “I don’t appreciate people coming around dredging up the past. Leave my daughter out of this. My wife and I have mourned. We don’t need any other reminders.”

“No, wait.” I put my hand on the door and stop him from closing it. “I ask because there’s been a young woman found. Eighteen. Red hair. I just need to know if she’s your daughter.”

John stumbles back slightly. “What? My daughter has been missing for the past thirteen years.”

“Was her name Luna?”

“No. Her name was Sarah.”

I deflate a little, but Ed could have changed Luna’s name. This doesn’t mean anything. “A man kidnapped a little girl when she was four. I found the man who did it, and he gave me your name. I have a young woman who’s eighteen. Red hair. White. I’m not one hundred percent sure she’s your daughter, but the timeline fits. Would you let me come inside so we can talk about this?”

“No. I don’t let strangers into my home.”

“Honey?” A woman’s voice filters through the air. “What’s going on?” She appears next to her husband—Ashley Walker. I recognize her from the photos, too. Red hair streaked with silver. Her eyes are so much like Luna’s. “Who are you?”

“This man claims he has our daughter,” John grumbles. “But I told him that that’s nonsense. Our daughter is gone, and there’s no getting her back.”

Ashley looks at me more closely. “Are you telling the truth?”

“I just know a woman was held kidnapped in a lighthouse her entire life. I … found her in it. I got her out of it. The man who took her said you were her parents. An Ed Martin. He lived on this street. I checked.”

“Who are you?” John asks. “A detective?”

I clear my throat. “No. I’m just a man who went to the beach, saw a lighthouse, saw a girl in the window, and helped her out. She’s been staying with me. I’ve been keeping her safe. I’m here because I’m trying to learn if you’re her parents. I’m sorry to bring this all back up. But she deserves to know who her real parents are. And if you are those parents, then … you deserve to get your daughter back.”

Ashley sucks in a breath, her eyes tearing up. “Is she really alive? Our Sarah?”

“She goes by the name Luna. I think it would be best to do a DNA test before meeting. Prove if you’re really her parents. I don’t want to get her hopes up in case …”

“In case this a whole bunch of bullshit,” John grumbles. “Listen, you seem like a decent man. But I can tell you’re lying. You’re not telling us everything. Or this entire thing is a lie. So, why don’t you leave my wife and me alone? We’ve been through enough.”

“Please. Just do the test. If this really is your daughter, you can get her back.”

John levels me a serious look. “But if this isn’t our daughter, then you got our hopes up for nothing.”

“You have to take the risk.”

“No. I’m not going to. And I don’t trust you. So, leave our doorstep right this moment and never come back.” He shuts the door in my face, and I don’t stop him this time.

Well, that didn’t go how I hoped. I can’t tell Luna about this. It would break her heart if these people reject her.

But I promised Luna I wouldn’t keep anything else from her. She deserves to know and to make her own choices in life. Seeing as she was denied that for years, it’s the least I can do for her.

The door opens, and Ashley comes out. “Sir? I know my husband doesn’t want to a DNA test, but I want to. I need to know if this girl really is my daughter.”

A flare of hope fills me.

LUNA

It’s time for Maxim to see me as the woman I’ve become.

I know what sex is. I know what friendship is. I know what love is. Well, sort of. If love is an all-encompassing feeling, then I feel it for Maxim.

With the black lingerie set on, I sit on the couch, waiting for Maxim to return. He told me he had business to attend to and would return soon.

The longer I wait for him, the more dejected I feel. My mind keeps returning to the girls at the mall—how they all laughed and smiled together. I want that. A community.

I love having Maxim and Rose in my life, but I want more. I want my world to be as big as it possibly can.

The door opens, and I scramble up, my heart pounding.

Maxim steps through and stops dead in his tracks when he sees me. “Uh … Luna, what are you wearing?”

I glance down at the black lacy bra and underwear set. There’s a mesh dress over it, but it doesn’t hide my body away. I’m on full display for him. “Do you like it?”

Slowly, he walks toward me. “I’m not sure how to answer that. Why are you wearing … that?”

“Because I want you, Maxim. I want you to kiss me again. I want you to touch me.” I grab his hand, interlocking our fingers together. “I want to experience this. I thought if I wore something like this, you’ll see me as a woman. I know how much you like the color black. You’re always wearing it.” I pause. “Shoot. You told me you love green. Maybe I should have worn green instead.”

“Luna,” he says gently, his eyes softening as he touches my arms. “You don’t have to wear anything you don’t want to wear.”

“Rose told me the same thing. But, Maxim, I want you to like what I’m wearing.”

“I do like it.” There’s a heat in his eyes that sends a heat to my body. “I like it a lot. But?—”

“No buts. You’re always making up some excuse to keep your distance from me, but I’m tired of it. You say you want me to make my own choices in life, so I am. I want to be with you.”

“But you’ve never been with a man before. You don’t know what you like.”

“So, let me figure that out. With you . If you want to.”

He lets out a shaky breath. “Fuck, I want to. Luna, you’ve been on my mind ever since I found you. I’ve wanted to touch you for so long. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You don’t make me uncomfortable. You light my skin on fire. When you look at me, I feel like I’m getting lost in you, and it feels amazing. I can tell you’re worried about hurting me, but you’re not going to, Maxim. The fact that you’re so concerned for me shows you could never hurt me. So, if you want to be with me, and I want to be with you, then what’s stopping you?”

He looks at me for a long moment, his eyes saying so much that I want to understand. Finally, he grabs my face. “You’re right. There’s nothing stopping me.” Then he kisses me with so much passion, I feel myself falling right into him.

Maxim lets the kiss linger as he deepens it. Tentatively, I open my mouth, exploring with my tongue. His tongue touches mine. I gasp, pulling back.

“That felt funny.”

“Did you like it?”

I ponder it. His tongue felt squishy and soft against mine, but it wasn’t unpleasant. It was nice—just a shock. “I want to try it again.”

He gently holds my face as he kisses me once more. This time, when his tongue touches mine, I don’t pull away. I lean into it. I let myself feel it.

And what I feel is pure and utter happiness.

The nerves in my lips are alive. Maxim has awoken a part of me that I never even knew existed. Ed wanted to keep those things from me so he could use them against me.

But not Maxim. He wants me to experience everything of my own accord, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Acting on instinct, I grab his face and pull him toward me. He grunts as he steadies himself.

“Careful,” he murmurs against my lips. “There’s no need to rush.”

“I just want to feel more of you.”

“Fuck,” he whispers. “You’re going to be the death of me, Luna. My self-control is barely hanging on.”

“Then let it go.”

“I don’t want to frighten you.”

“You could never.” But then I think back to when he killed God. Ed. I was frightened then.

Maxim must sense my hesitancy because he pulls back and runs his hands down my spine. “Hey, it’s ok. I want you to explore, but I think I should set the pace. I don’t want to move too fast right now. I think it’s for the best.”

“Ok. I trust you.”

“God, the way you look at me. No one’s ever looked at me like that before.”

“Like what?”

“With so much trust in their eyes. I don’t deserve it.”

“You’ve been nothing but good to me.”

“I know, but that doesn’t make me a good man.”

I want to ask for more, but I want to kiss him more instead, so I stand on my tiptoes and capture his lips with mine.

Our tongues touch right away this time. I’m getting the hang of it. How to tilt my head to the side so our noses don’t bump. How to soften my lips. How to move my tongue against his so it feels natural.

Maxim’s hands on my hips is all I can think about. My mind will go insane thinking about it. Every nerve in my body is awake, and I don’t think it’ll ever go back to sleep.

Slowly, he sits on the couch, bringing me with him. I snuggle into the side of his body as we kiss for a long while. He doesn’t seem to be in any of a hurry while I feel like I’m running out of time.

I grab his hand and place it on my breast.

Then I immediately tense.

“Hey.” He pulls back. “Are you ok?”

“God always wanted to touch my breasts.”

“I don’t have to touch you there if you don’t want me to.”

“But I want you to. I want to know why he so desperately wanted to touch me there.”

“Ed was a bad man, Luna. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I want you to make it feel good for me,” I admit. “I need to feel it. Please.”

“Ok. I’ll touch you there. But when it feels right.” He kisses me again and lowers me onto my back. He half lies next to me and half leans over me. Never have I felt another human being this close to me before.

Maxim travels his lips over my jaw and to my neck. “Just feel.”

“Oh,” I gasp. “It feels good. Really good.” My hands clutch his strong arms as he runs his lips over my neck. If I thought my lips were sensitive, they have nothing on my neck. Goosebumps break out over my body. Everything tingles in the best way possible.

I can’t stop letting out little moans. Maxim smiles against my neck, then trails his lips even lower to my collarbone. While he kisses me, his other hand travels up my body to my breast.

He doesn’t grab my breasts like God—Ed—always told me to do. Instead, he skims his fingertips over the side of my breast.

It doesn’t really feel like anything. Not like my lips or neck.

“I don’t understand. Why did God want to touch me here when it doesn’t feel like much?”

“It feels better skin to skin.” His eyes darken as he looks down at me, making me feel vulnerable in a way I’ve never been before. But I’m not afraid. I could never be afraid when I’m with Maxim. “Do you want me to take your bra off? You could feel more that way.”

“Yes.”

Rose explained to me that women are taught to feel ashamed of their bodies, but God never taught me that. I don’t feel any shyness as Maxim draws the mesh fabric over my head then takes my bra off with it.

“Fuck,” he whispers, his eyes raking over my body. “You’re so beautiful.”

“So are you.”

He smiles before kissing me again. When his hand touches my breast, I feel a zing through my body. He was right—skin-to-skin makes it so much better.

He doesn’t grab my breast but instead runs his hand over the fullness of it. I grab his hand, place it right over my breast, and hold it there. Maxim kisses me deeper.

A dull ache forms between my legs. I felt it before when I masturbated with the pillow.

On instinct, my hips rise and bump against Maxim’s. He hisses and goes still.

“Did I do something wrong?” I whisper.

“No. No, you didn’t. It’s just … How much do you know about sex?”

“Both you and Rose told me some things.”

“I know, but did she ever tell you how a man feels when he’s aroused?”

I shake my head.

“You know I have a penis. It gets hard when I’m aroused. It’s called an erection.”

“Are you … erect right now?”

He blows out a breath and bores his eyes into mine. “I am. And it’s a hard thing to ignore. When you arched your hips, they touched mine, including my erection.” His face goes red. I always think it’s cute when Maxim has to explain things to me and gets embarrassed. I don’t feel any shame at all. “It’s sensitive.”

“What do you do with it?”

“Well, when the time comes, I’d place it inside you. But not tonight. We’re not there yet.”

“Why not?”

“Because this is your first time ever exploring your body. I don’t want to rush it. I don’t want to accidently cause you any pain. If we ever have sex, I want you to fully know what you’re agreeing to.”

“So, I shouldn’t have arched my hips?”

“Remember when you had an orgasm?”

I nod.

“Well, when a man orgasms, he releases …” He clears his throat, clearly uncomfortable. “He releases semen, which can get a little messy. I don’t really want to come in my pants today. So, how about we just keep any hips from touching right now.”

“But it’s hard not to move when you’re making me feel good. I need …” I shift my hips around. “I need …”

“Release. I can give that to you. But you have to hold as still as you can for me.”

“I can try.”

He gives me a small kiss. “I know you can do it.”

I want to make Maxim proud of me. I want it more than I’ve ever wanted anything before.

He kisses me deeply, our tongues melding together, as he trails his hand down to my waist. The touch of his hand on the sensitive skin of my stomach makes me desperately want to buck my hips up but I keep them still. For Maxim.

“I’m going to touch you between your legs.”

“Ok,” I say breathlessly. That’s where the throbbing is. If he can take it away, that would be lovely.

He places his palm between my legs and presses it against me. I gasp as a wave of pleasure hits me. Slowly, he moves his hand back and forth across my vulva.

“I want to feel you skin to skin,” I whisper.

His eyes blaze with a heat that settles in my core. “If you’re ready for that.”

“I’m more than ready.”

The sound that escapes Maxim is primal. He touches the waistband of my panties and pulls them down so slowly I think I might die from the anticipation.

Once they’re off me, Maxim takes a moment to look over my naked body. He’s seen me before, but not like this. Not when he was so close to me like he is now.

“Fuck,” he murmurs before setting his hand on my stomach. My abdomen contracts.

“I’m trying to hold still, but I feel like I’m losing my mind.”

“I got you.” His hand goes back between my legs. Now that we’re skin to skin, I can feel all of it. Every nerve and touch.

Maxim rubs his hand over me, his fingers settling on a part of my body that feels so good. “It’s your clit,” he explain. “It’s a pleasure spot for women.”

“I love it,” I moan.

He chuckles. “I’m sure you do.” His fingers mix with the wetness seeping out of me. It makes everything softer.

His thumb rolls my clit around, sending spike after spike of pleasure though my body.

“I need more,” I gasp. “I need more. I feel like I’m dying.”

“You’re not dying, baby. You’re getting close to your orgasm.” He presses his thumb against my clit, and the pressure of it makes my hips jerk up.

“I’m sorry. I can’t help it.” My hips have a mind of their own as I roll around. Maxim doesn’t scold me like God would have if I’d done something he didn’t approve of. Maxim only gives me a look that makes me hotter.

“Don’t apologize. You’re good. Just feel, baby. Just feel.”

I do feel. Everything .

As soon as I let myself feel it, my release comes.

It washes over my body, making me gasp and tremble. Maxim kisses me through it. I cling to him, needing him to help me, needing him to make me feel brave.

And then it’s over.

I feel more relaxed than I ever have.

“Here.” He grabs the blanket off the back of the couch and wraps it around me.

“Do you not want to look at me anymore?”

“It’s not that. I just need to control myself and looking at you naked isn’t helping.” He pulls me into his arms. “But I’m not rejecting you. I can’t stay away from you ever again.”

“That’s how I felt ever since I first met you.”

“You’re too sweet for your own good.”

“Is that a bad thing?”

The softness in his eyes as he looks at me makes me melt. “It’s not a bad thing. Not at all.”

Rose comes to check on me when Maxim leaves for the day.

I can’t stop bouncing from what Maxim and I shared. “He touched me!”

She raises an eyebrow, setting her hands on my arms and getting me to stop bouncing. “Maxim touched you?”

“Yes! And it was amazing. But we didn’t have sex. He said we need to wait for that.”

“Well, good for him. He’s always had good self-control. Can’t say the same about a lot of the other men. They all want to go after the man who blew up the clubhouse. Maxim is just barely holding them at bay.”

“I would be upset, too, if someone blew up the house I loved.”

“True. But we lost Colin. We already lost Jasper, but that was because he was a creep to you. Maxim doesn’t want to lose any other men.”

“He’s so good. Just good!” I dance around the living room, feeling like a little kid again. Maxim awoke something in my body when he touched me. It’s a strange combination—I have the excitement of a child but the knowledge of a woman. I now know what it’s like to be touched by a man.

It was better than I ever could have expected.

“But I can’t stay here all day. I’m too antsy. I want to get out.”

“Well, that’s what I’m here for. You said you wanted to help with Colin’s funeral. I was heading to the funeral office to look at coffins if you want to join me. If it’s not too depressing.”

“Not at all. I want to help put Colin to rest. He was always kind to me.”

We arrive at the funeral office and meet with the director—a man named John Walker.

“Hello,” he says, shaking both of our hands. “You’re here to look at coffins today?”

“We are.” Rose sniffs. “For …”

“For Colin,” I say, patting her arm. “He just died.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Well, I didn’t know him all that well, but he was always kind to me.”

John doesn’t act awkward at all toward me. That’s a relief; most people tend to act a little strange around me. I don’t act “normal,” I know that. “Let’s find him the best coffin we can, shall we?”

He shows us a few different coffins—one black, one brown, one white. All different sizes.

“What’s your cheapest one?” Rose asks. “We’re on a tight budget right now.” I give her a confused look, and she leans into me. “Maxim is gonna need to find a new clubhouse soon.”

John goes still. “I’m sorry. Did you say Maxim?”

“I did. Is there a problem?”

“No, uh … it’s nothing. Sorry. I just met a man with that name. Hearing it within a few days of each other is a funny coincidence. I apologize.” He claps his hands together. “So, this is our most cost-saving coffin.” He shows us a simple black one.

“It’s great. We’ll take it.” Suddenly, Rose breaks down into tears. “Sorry. I just need a minute. Luna, can you take over?”

“I can try.”

Rose quickly walks away, leaving John and me alone.

He stands up straighter. “Did she say your name is Luna?”

“Yes.”

He stares at me with wide eyes like he’s taking in every one of my features. “God, you look just like …”

“Like who?”

He stumbles back. “Who sent you? Did that Maxim guy send you?”

“No. I’m here to find a coffin for my friend.”

“Oh.” He stares at the floor for a long moment before looking at me again. “I have a strange question to ask you. Do I look familiar to you?”

“No. Should you?”

He deflates. “No. Of course. I was silly to ask.”

“I don’t know a lot of people. I was raised in a lighthouse. I was … kidnapped when I was a child. I don’t remember much from before.”

“Oh my god.” He raises shaky fingers toward my face. “Sarah?”