Page 11

Chapter

Eleven

MAXIM

T he lighthouse is dark when I arrive. There are no signs of life within it. If Luna is in there, I don’t even want to imagine what God might be doing to her.

The moment I saw her, I knew I needed to protect her, and I’ve failed at that. I failed to protect Colin from Anton. I failed to protect my club. I failed to protect Dimitri even.

I’ve been failing a lot, and I’m fucking tired of it.

It’s time to end this.

I get off my bike and pause when I hear something behind me. It’s the crunch of gravel.

“Don’t move.” It’s Ed. I hear the click of a gun.

Shit.

The darkness hid him, allowing him to sneak up on me.

I raise my hands. “What are you doing, Ed?”

“I’m going to kill you. You thought you could take Luna from me, but she’s mine. She’s always been mine.”

“She was never yours. You kidnapped her. Who even are her birth parents?”

“She’s always been mine.”

An icy chill settles in my stomach. “Is she your daughter?”

“No,” he snarls. “Her parents didn’t deserve her. I did. I do. She’s mine, and you will not take her from me.”

“Let’s just talk this out.”

“Bullshit. You’re just looking for a way to get out of this situation so you can kill me.”

“I never said I wanted to kill you.” My eyes take in everything around me. There’s nothing I can use to my advantage. Nothing to hide behind other than the lighthouse, but it’s too far. The second I take a step, Ed will shoot me.

It’s then I see her. Luna in the second-floor window. She’s banging on it; fear on her face. I can’t hear her, though. I can’t comfort her and let her know everything will be all right.

Because I don’t truly know if everything will be all right.

“Luna’s watching,” I tell him.

“Good. I want her to watch as you die. It will be a reminder never to leave me again.”

“Why haven’t you shot me yet, Ed? If you wanted me dead so badly, why not do it right away? Why talk to me?”

I can hear the waver in his voice as he replies. “Because I want you to know I won. That I’m better than you. That a man like you doesn’t get to have all the girls.”

“That’s what this is about? You’re jealous of me?”

“Luna likes you. She couldn’t stop saying how she prefers you over me. How do you think that makes me feel?”

“I’m sure not good. But need I remind you, Ed, that you kidnapped her? Maybe if you hadn’t done that, she would like you more.” Doubt it. A man like Ed would never have been in Luna’s life unless he did what he did.

“You and I both know Luna never would have looked at me if I hadn’t taken her. A beautiful girl like that would think I’m a monster.”

“You don’t have to be a monster, Ed. If you worked on your self-confidence, you could get any woman you wanted. You don’t need to do this. You don’t need to hurt Luna.”

“I’m not going to hurt Luna. It’s you I’m going to kill.”

“But don’t you see? You’re hurting her. You put her back in that lighthouse, and that’s the worst thing you could’ve done to her. She’ll never be happy with you. Ed, you have to know that. It doesn’t matter if I’m dead or not. Luna will not be happy with you . So, let her go.”

“I can’t do that. She’s mine.”

“Then kill me and get this over with.”

Ed doesn’t say a word. He’s hesitating. None of this is going how he wanted it, and he’s fumbling the bag.

Well, that’s good for me.

In one quick motion, I spin and grab my gun from my pocket.

“Don’t!” Ed shouts.

We’re at a standstill, our weapons pointed at each other.

“I could put a bullet through your brain,” I tell him.

“Then why don’t you?”

“Because I don’t want to get shot in the process.”

Ed sneers. “Honestly, as long as you don’t get to have Luna, I’m fine with dying.”

“But Luna is locked inside. No one else is coming for her. She’ll starve to death in there. Do you really want that for her?”

His eyes flick to the lighthouse. A softness grows in his expression. Despite what he’s done to her, Ed loves her in his own twisted way.

“You don’t want her to die,” I say softly. “If we both shoot each other, there’s a good chance we both die, and then Luna will have no one. She’ll starve to death inside that lighthouse. So, I propose a deal. On the count of three, we lower our guns.”

“You’ll kill me.”

“No, I won’t. I don’t want to risk dying. We have to do this together, Ed. For Luna’s sake.”

Shakily, he nods. “For Luna.”

“For Luna. On the count of three. One …” I lower my gun slightly, and so does he. “Two.” I bring my gun down to my side, and Ed mirrors the motion. “Three.”

He drops his gun to the ground.

And I shoot him in the leg.

His scream mixes with the swell of the ocean as he falls to the ground. I don’t want him dead yet. I want answers on where Luna comes from. Who he took her from. It’s only fair to Luna to learn who her parents are. Where her home was.

I pick up his gun and stand over him.

“You cheated,” he hisses.

“I did.”

“I thought you were a man of honor.”

“I’m a man who made a vow to protect Luna, and that’s what I’m going to do. And you’re going to answer some questions for me.”

“I’m not going to tell you anything.” He spits on the ground, completely missing my shoe.

“You’re not in a position to barter with me. I’ll make you a deal. Tell me who Luna’s family is, who you took her from, and I’ll kill you right away. But if you don’t, I’ll make this slow and painful and drawn out. I’ll make you suffer for days. Weeks, even. You won’t be the first man I’ve ever tortured. Doubt you’ll be the last.”

Ed visibly pales. “You’re bluffing.”

“Try me.” I wait because I have all the time in the world. I know Luna is inside, probably desperate to get out, but I don’t want her to see this. Ed might use her to his advantage, and I can’t risk that.

“She’s mine.”

I step on his wounded leg and grind my foot into it. The scream that erupts from him is satisfying. “Just tell me, Ed. Get this over with. You’ve lost.”

He slumps onto the ground and begins to cry, large tears streaming down his red face. I don’t give a rat’s ass about his tears. He kept Luna hostage for years. He deserves to feel an ounce of the pain she experienced.

“Ok,” he finally says.

“Ok?”

“Fine. Her parents are named John and Ashley Walker.”

“How old was Luna when you took her?”

“She was four.”

“And?” I grind my foot harder against his wound, making him writhe around, his face the picture of agony.

“And they were my neighbors. I saw her and knew I wanted her.”

“At four years old? You fucking bastard.”

“I didn’t want to fuck a child! I just wanted to create the perfect woman for me. I was willing to wait until Luna turned eighteen.”

“You’re one sick asshole. I hope you rot in hell.” I put my gun to his head and pull the trigger.

The next thing I hear is the sound of his brain matter splattering on the earth behind him. The sight of him dead makes me smile.

Good fucking riddance.

But I can’t just leave his body here for anyone to find. This is a secluded area, but I can’t risk anything coming back onto me.

I don’t look at the lighthouse as I pick up rocks from the side of the road and stuff them in Ed’s pockets. I don’t want to know if Luna saw me murder Ed. If she did, I don’t even want to consider what she’ll think of me.

With a grunt, I drag Ed to the side of the cliff overlooking the ocean and push him off. His body falls and falls until it slams against the water, where he sinks right into it.

Even if his body does reappear, it will be so waterlogged and unrecognizable that it will never come back onto me. I’ll have to ask Nikolai to erase the security cam footage of this area. I know he got access to it when he discovered Oliver.

Everything will be all right. I’ve killed men before.

But this is different. Luna is involved. Sweet, innocent Luna, who I need to protect.

I force myself to face the lighthouse and look up at the window. She’s not there.

Quickly, I get the front door open and burst inside. “Luna?”

I don’t hear a thing.

Scrambling up the stairs, I reach the second floor and find her on the bed, curled into a ball.

“Luna?”

She gasps and sits up … and backs away from me. “You killed him.”

Shit. “I know I did. But he was going to kill me. I protected you.”

“I know why you did it, Maxim. I saw it all. I saw him hold you at gunpoint. I saw you shoot him. Then I saw you kill him. And then you pushed his body over the cliff.”

“You saw it all.”

“Yes.”

“And?” I hate to ask this next question, but I have to. “Are you afraid of me?”

“I’ve never seen you kill anyone before. I’ve never seen anyone take a life before.”

“Of course, you haven’t. And it’s ok if you’re scared. But, Luna, you never have to fear me. You know that. I will never hurt you the way Ed hurt you.”

“You mean God.”

I go still. “Ed, Luna. His name was Ed. Not God.”

“I still think of him as God,” she whispers, drawing her knees into her chest and bowing her head.

“And that’s ok. But he doesn’t have a hold on you any longer. You’re safe. Let me get you out of here. Let me get you to safety.”

“The clubhouse isn’t safe. I’ve been hurt there too many times.”

“You’re right. I have an apartment I can take you to.” I’ll tell her about the clubhouse and Anton … and Colin later. I’m not sure how much information she can handle right now. “It will just be you and me. We can invite Rose over later if you want.”

“Rose?”

“Yes, Rose.”

“And Colin?”

I hesitate, then nod. “You’re safe, Luna.” I reach my hand out, and she lets me touch her shoulder. “I’ve got you. Let me take you home.”

It’s at this moment I realize I want Luna to be a part of my home. She’s so innocent, and it makes me feel a bit like an asshole for having feelings for her, but I can’t keep denying to myself that I want her in my life. I want Luna to be mine. If she’ll have me, that is.

“Maxim?” Her face scrunches up, and tears begin to pool from her eyes.

“Come here.” I open my arms, and with a gasp, she runs right into them. I hold her as tightly as I can while still being gentle. If I had my way, I’d never let Luna go.

But she has a say in this, too. I want her to have a say in this.

“Maxim.” She turns her face up to mine. “I know I’m safe with you. I just can’t believe God is … gone. That I’m free of him.”

“You are. You’re free forever now. I’ll make sure of it.”

She stands on her tiptoes to kiss me. This time, I don’t pull away. I let the kiss linger.

It’s cute how Luna moves her lips around, exploring and figuring out what she likes.

After a moment, I pull back.

“Are you rejecting me again?” The fear and hurt in her voice breaks my fucking heart.

“No. You’ve just had a trying time. Let me get you to my apartment. Get you out of this fucking lighthouse. I don’t want to take advantage of you when you’re upset.”

“That just makes me want you even more.”

“You want me? How?” I need to hear her say it. I need to understand.

“I want to be with you, Maxim. I want to hold your hand. I want to kiss you. I want to look into your eyes.” She’s so innocent, and I can tell she feels embarrassed about telling me any of this.

It’s actually really refreshing.

“I want to be with you, too,” I admit. “I’ve been holding back because I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you.”

“You’re not. It’s what I want.”

I cup her face between my hands. “You’re just so innocent, though.”

“Then teach me. Show me more of the world. Make me less innocent.”

I shiver at her words. Make me less innocent . My mind goes straight to doing dirty things to Luna. My face between her thighs. Her writhing in pleasure. Claiming her body.

“You don’t know what those words do to me.”

“Tell me.”

I smile and kiss her forehead, stepping back. “I’ll explain later. Right now, let me get you out of here. I assume you don’t want to stay in the lighthouse.”

“No. I never want to come back here again.”

“And you won’t have to.”

Her face lights up with hope. “You promise?”

“More than anything.”

LUNA

I leave the lighthouse for the second time in my life.

This time, it’s in darkness. The moonlight caresses my face, compared to the sun when I left the first time, but it’s just as good. Just as freeing.

Maxim doesn’t take us back to the clubhouse. Instead, we stop at an apartment building. Inside, the warm earth tones of everything from the walls to the furniture make me instantly feel at home

“Why didn’t you take me here before?”

“Because I spend most of my time at the clubhouse. It made more sense for you to be there. But, Luna, there’s something I have to tell you. The clubhouse is gone.”

“What do you mean?”

“A man—a bad man—named Anton blew it up. Rose is ok. But Colin …”

I gasp. “What about Colin?”

“He didn’t make it. He’s dead.”

“No.” I stumble backward and sink heavily onto the couch. “Not Colin.”

“I know. I’m going to plan a funeral for him.”

“I want to help.”

“All right. You can help. There’s something else you need to know. My men are angry. They want to go after the man responsible, and I’ve held them at bay, but they might do something stupid.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“In case anything goes wrong, I want you to be prepared. I have money saved up in a safe. I’ll give you the code to access it. Rose will help you.”

“Why are you talking like you’re going to die?”

He sighs as he sits down next to me. “I don’t plan on dying. But just in case anything goes wrong, you need to be aware. I don’t want to keep you in the dark any longer. I want you to know everything. You told me once that you’re not a child, and you’re right. You’re not. I don’t see you that way, so I won’t treat you that way.”

“Ok,” I whisper. “Thank you.” Even though Maxim is giving me what I want, it doesn’t make me happy. It only frightens me more. Because if he’s treating me like an adult, then that means I’m no longer a little girl living in the lighthouse. I’m a grown woman living out of it.

“Can you just hold me?” I ask.

“Of course.” He wraps his arms around me, and I sink into his chest, feeling his heartbeat underneath my ear.

We stay like that for the rest of the night.

I wake up in Maxim’s bed alone.

He did sleep with me in the bed, holding me all night, but now, he’s gone. When I roll over, I find a note on the pillow telling me that he’s gone to deal with his men and Rose is here to keep me company.

I find Rose on the couch, her head in her hands. “Rose?”

“Oh, sweetie. I’m so glad you’re ok.” She rushes over to me and wraps me in a hug. “Maxim told me you were ok, but it’s still good to actually see it.”

“He killed God. Ed,” I correct myself. I need to start thinking of him as Ed. He no longer has a hold over me. He’s no longer deserving of the name God.

“I know. He told me. How are you feeling?”

“Confused. I kind of miss him, but I don’t. Does that make sense?”

“It does. He was your only companion over the years, and now, he’s gone. But my advice? Don’t let him control you beyond the grave. Learn to let him go. I want to see you happy, sweetie.”

“I want that, too. You know, Maxim told me he wants to be with me. So, that’s a good thing.”

Rose’s smile falters, and I’m not sure why. “Good. That’s good, honey. Did he tell you about Colin?”

“Yes. I need to help in any way I can. I need to do something. I don’t want to stay in here all day.”

“I have an idea. There’s nothing we can do about Colin right now, but we can help ourselves. It’s called retail therapy. We can go shopping. You could see more of the world. Get a new experience under your belt.”

“I’d love that.” Anything I can learn more about is a good thing. The more I know, the more Maxim will see me as a fully actualized adult.

Rose takes us to a mall, which I find out is a building full of stores. I never knew a place like this even existed.

“Take your pick,” she says, nodding at several places. The sheer number of people around intimidates me. It reminds me of the concert and the shooting. How scared I was. How alone I was until Maxim found me.

Until he saved me.

I choose the first store closest to me and discover a world full of all different types of clothes. So many options from dresses to shirts to jeans to skirts to shoes. It’s all so much.

“I want it all,” I admit, making Rose laugh.

“Well, we can’t afford it all. But pick out whatever you want. It’s on Maxim.”

“How so?”

“You pay with cash for things, sweetie, through this.” She shows me a card hidden in her purse. “You hand it over, they scan it, and you then own the item. Pretty simple.”

It is simple, and yet I never even knew that was a thing. Just another way I feel inadequate.

I push those feelings to the side and try on a dress that doesn’t look good on me and a shirt that does. Once we’re done in that store, we head to the next.

I stop outside the storefront when I notice a group of young women standing in a circle, talking. “What are they doing?”

“Hanging out. They’re probably friends. It’s common to come to the mall and shop and be with your friends.”

“Like we are?”

Rose gives my arm a squeeze. “Of course, we’re friends.”

“But I could have more? They have a whole group of them.”

“You can have as many friends as you want.”

With a smile, I walk over to the girls and say hello. They stare at me like I’m weird.

“Hello,” one says back.

“I’m looking for new friends. Do you want to be my friend?”

“No,” she scoffs. “Come on,” she says to her friends, and they all walk away.

“What was that about?” I whisper as Rose comes over to me.

“Honey, I should’ve told you. Friendships happen organically. You don’t just walk up to a group of people and ask to be friends. At least, not in this setting.”

“So, what setting would be appropriate?”

“You know, I actually have no idea.”

I pout. “So, how do I make friends, then?”

“Well, we’ll figure it out, ok? But right now, it’s just you and me. That’s more than enough. Isn’t it?”

“Yes.” The moment I say it, I know it’s a lie. I love Rose like a sister and a friend. She’s been a lifesaver for me. But seeing that group of girls together makes me realize I want more. I want more friends. I want more experiences. I just want to learn so much.

I want Maxim to see me as an adult, and the more I know, the more I will become one in his eyes.

“How do I make Maxim see me as an adult?”

Rose hesitates. “Well, there are tons of ways. But, just for clarification, do you mean in the bedroom?”

“I guess? I don’t know. I just want Maxim to look at me and be unable to resist kissing me. He always pulls back when we kiss. I don’t want him to do that any longer.”

“I have an idea.” She leads me to a different type of clothing store. Immediately, I notice just how small the pieces of clothing are. Bras and underwear, I realize.

“Why would any of this make Maxim see me as more of an adult?”

“Because it’s sexy clothing. Revealing clothing. If you wear sexy clothing around him, he’ll start to see you less like a girl and more like a woman. Choose what you want to wear. What feels comfortable for you. Remember, Luna, don’t be someone you’re not. Wear what you want, not what you think Maxim will like, ok?”

But the problem is I have no idea what I like or what Maxim likes.

I know what God—Ed—liked. He liked pink things. Feminine things. Maxim is always wearing black. Maybe black is the way to go.

I find a lacy piece of fabric that is both a bra and underwear in one go. It’s all black. Rose tends to wear black. Tracy was in black when she still hung around the clubhouse.

In Maxim’s world, black has to be a sign of adulthood.

I show it to Rose. “This one.”

“That one? Honey, are you sure it’s what you want to wear?”

“Whatever makes Maxim happy is what I want to wear.”

She winces. “Luna, you can do whatever you want now. You can dress how you want. Eat what you want. So, just make sure you don’t bend yourself out of shape trying to make Maxim happy. I know the man. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He’s happy when he’s around you, honey. You don’t need to try and please him.”

“I had to work hard to please God.”

“But Maxim isn’t God.”

Rose has a point. Maxim is the complete opposite. But God—Ed—held me captive for years and made me fight for his approval. That doesn’t go away overnight.

I look down at the black lingerie, and I know what I want to do.

“I’m getting this one.”

Rose doesn’t say another word about it.